I know there are different theories and strategies on this. I have read different stuff. Do you guys, from your experience, think its better to tell a girl you like her or to not in order to attract her?

I have been trying to tell these guys on this forum that when you tell a girl tha tyou like her you give her power to reject you. This is especially harmful if there is no attraction there. Usually, telling a girl you like her is just an invitiation for her to convey taht she lieks you if she already does. I do like to use compliments to make girls like you, but if the conflict has no impact on her it leaves you at her mercy and if she does not like you then you will get rejectd.

True power comes when a girl wants you. You want to be able to make a girl want you before you put any pressure on her. If you push her to do something she doesn't want to do you will ruin it.

This shouldn't be in the Lounge.

But to answer your question, neither and both. Convey that you like her with body language without saying it. Saying it can destroy the passion and excitement of an unplanned kiss, unless you are going for over the top natural direct game with a total stranger. If you're not sure how much she likes you, use push/pull to build attraction. Saying it before you have any read on how she feels is a very bad idea, because it puts her in the driving seat and you in a weak position. Until you have had sex with a girl, you owe her nothing, so you generally want to avoid talking about "feelings" all together.

Let's analyse a compliment:

Let's say you say "You're pretty." Nothing spectacular, nothing over the topic....just the obvious. This can do several things.

1.) States interest. This encourages the girl to show interest if she has been afraid to.
2.) Creates interest because its pleasant.

What are the downsides of this.

1.) If she knows you are interested she's not afraid of losing you. ANd she thinks she doesn't have to please you. However, this assumes that she was already interested...this assumes you already have value.
2.) Pleasant. A derivative of this word is pleasing. Pleasing = weak . WEAK. This is why people hate complimenting it can make you look weak, needy. This puts you in a position beneath the girl AND she feels she doesn't have to please you which can lead to a lot of disrespect.

How do you play around this.

1.) If you hint at having options or other women liking you then the girl will be afraid of losing you. SO you want to talk about your success with women or just other women that are interested in you.

2.) What you have to understand is that doing things she doesn't like gives you the impression that you have power over her, and subsequently value. Its kinda like your boss. He tells you what to do and you accept it whether you like it or not. Doing things that she likes also gives the impression that she has power over you. The instinct is to compromise and let someone push your boundaries so that they will like you if you are pleasing them and this allows a woman to get away with a lot.

If you're being the boss that means you're imposing your will on someone. And as counter-intuitive as it seems, being an asshole seems powerful so it can be attractive. Its the power thats attractive, not the meanness. However, seeking approval can be attractive as well. Power and Approval Seeking are eliminated with compliments, and these are pretty strong motivators. However, if you're pleasant enough perhaps all that can be overcome. Or YOu can be pleasant, powerful, and demand approval at the same time.

Take Aways:
1.) Pleasant is attractive
2.) Pleasing invites disrespects.
3.) Displeasing illustrates power and Power is attractive.
4.) Seeking Approval Attracts.

I fundamentally disagree, that is just bragging, which shows your insecurity. It shows you are trying to qualify yourself to her, if you brag that other women want to sleep with you, with no evidence whatsoever. Truly secure guys don't need to brag, their calm swag shows they are used to talking to hot chicks all the time and there is no need to brag about it. MENTIONING the fact that you spend a lot of social time with women is fine if you do it with subtle hints, but bragging about how many women you sleep with will get you nowhere on a cold approach, unless the woman is extremely inexperienced and stupid (or finds you physically irresistable).

A woman should always know you have options. Otherwise she gets too comfortable and starts giving you shit.

Right, but you don't flat out say you are hanging with so and so. It is try hard when it is done like that. You don't have to say anything to make it known that you can talk to chicks. Your behaviors, attitudes, and overall demeanor should be enough to make a girl wonder if you have other girls on the sides. She should be asking herself why he is so confident, why he is so secure. The less needy you are, the more she will interpret that as you being a man that is preselected.

Now if you are telling a story that involves an ex girlfriend or other women somewhere..then that's different.

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In a way, I'm tempted to say never tell a girl you like her. It just opens you up to get dissed and laughed at.

Don't say you like her. Girls read too much into the verbal shit. It is better for her to interpret your actions. She will get the idea.

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Learning how to deal with getting dissed or laughed at is part of the learning process. Whilst it's probably a bad idea to voice attraction to a girl you have no read on whatsoever, if you never put yourself in potentially vulnerable high risk situations, you will never reap the benefits, that applies to life generally.

You have admitted you have sticking points with your game and you don't react well to rejection...

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

TBH it's all situational. There is no one size fits all when it comes to girls... those who are good with girls respond according to the situation... and not before they are ready. Most guys in pick up need to gain experience before they can gauge a situation correctly and know whether they can use on or the other. There really is not absolute answer that is not how human behavior works unfortunately.

If she is attracted you can be super direct... especially if she is very attracted.

You can show interest in a woman without invest anything into her and this is where you being able to say to a girl I like you comes from and works. You not being needy is the reasoning behind it working. If however you don't have that inner value that radiates outward then I say just be yourself.. hope to build attraction and respond accordingly.

If however your self-esteem is dependent on outside sources(rejection) than no saying I like you won't work, if rejection hurts you this won't work. You will show yourself to be needy.

Being able to be direct is indeed an advanced move, not a beginners move.

Showing value as a mate is not related to what you say but how you say it... Most women think I sleep with tons of women and thus when I flirt they consider me a tease. Your aura, body language and presence should show value... it is indeed in your demeanor and not a part of you saying your experiences with women. In fact I avoid talking about other women... Stop myself short.

Most women that have their own value don't think that a guy who needs to talk about himself is showing any "high" value, simply another douche showing low value. If you need to illustrate value you don't have it plain and simple, that is my quarrel with Mystery method... DHV fuck that just be high value. Women sense it when you are full of shit... rather than lie about experiences go out and have some.

Peace and Love,

Vic

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I can't imagine not being upset by rejection. Its beyond my reality. But, if you need something to happen that the girl does not want to happen....you're gonna have a probelm any way

I think you give up too easily. What you perceive as rejection is probably often a shit test (which you fail by giving up at the first hurdle)

A Couple years back i got rejected 6 times by a girl in a club before I got her number and later hooked up with her. At this time I suppose I was more comfortable with rejection. I had juststarted out I guess. ANd I saw rejection as something to learn from...I actually saw rejection as something I wanted so I could learn what worked and what didn't. Now I get offended and it personally. Its hard to explain why...

Think of the approach the same way you would have sex with a her. You don't start out all rough and dominate. You want to get her going, turn her on. Once she is horny enough you can manhandle her and she will actually enjoy it. You know pull her hair, put her in a headlock,spank that ass......but you got to turn her on first.