I am no old, sleazy sexpat out in China just to find a Asian take home wife. However, I like sarging as much as anyone here. However, since coming to China (about five months ago), I've found that the language barrier and cultural differences are becoming a HUGE gap that I'm having difficulty crossing with ease. Making the subtle jokes, sexual innuendos, and general approach that is common to most sarging in the states, is flat out failing here.

The subtleties can't be grasped by even reasonably good speakers of English, because it usually requires me to explain the nuance, which makes the whole joke stupid. The sexual innuendos that I could make in America seem to strike a jarring chord here, I suspect because of some cultural difference.

Recent example: A Chinese girl I am pretty sure is at least initially attracted to me was pulling a sticker off of my pants and accidentally almost pulled them down. She apologized, but I said in a joking way, "It's ok, I know you want to get my pants off."

Normally such a technique would work with an American girl because it would initiate "playful sexual bander" mode for the two of us. However, she just gave me a really weird look and told me that she was just trying to get the sticker off.

How do I get over the language barrier and access the humor that women love but do it in a sexy (not slapstick) way? As I see it, subtle humor is integral to the equation, and the subtlites are just lost here.

Any thoughts/experience on this matter?

Side note: My language is improving, but slowly and certainly not quick enough to do any sort of seriously flirting in anything for a year (at best).

This is gonna sound weird, but you actually have to act more AFC around girls in China. Compliment them often, smile, show that you can take care of them. Jokes will be a problem because of the language barrier---C&F doesn't work as well and there's a chance you'll come off as a pervert, but I assure you that body language is universal---have an alpha body language and you are seen as an alpha male. Don't mistake compliments for supplication though, you still have to get her to jump through some of your hoops.

The sticker situation for example could have been funny without saying anything. Just hold on to your pants with a shocked look on your face, and she'll notice that she almost pulled them off going for the sticker. Then laugh about it, and she'll usually join in.

Just be straight forward, compliment the girl bunches, tell her she's pretty, wear some nice clothes, and ask her out on a date where you two can have fun without talking the entire time (go to an amusement park or something).

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Game Asian American girls normally, some of them are more shy because of what Hobbit mentioned but for the most part they have their defenses built up from growing up in the US. For Asian girls in Asia, learn the culture, then adapt your game to it.

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Keep in mind that asians girls and boys both, are raised to be very polite. And to act correct. She maybe thought that you really was going to tell her boss that she was sexually harrassing her and that she would get fired. Crazy shit but very real in some asian cultures. Any comment on her behaviour needs to be mild or she will be too embarrased. Embarassment is fine in sarging western girls but losing face is everything in the east and you dont want to go there!
Asians raised in the west are more like us. They are still polite around family and stuff but out on the street they are more or less like everybody else.

Be careful and calibrate much MUCH more carefully than with any other girls!

Ezo

fiction!? where abouts are you in china!! new to this, and could do with a wing!!! i am in dalian, northeast china!!!

Late reply i know, but better late than ever!?

Use body language and read up on cultural differences!

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haha ... im in thailand now and love gaming the thai chicks...
they can only say hansom man and i just say stupid stuff, smile, and touch them... does the trick

That is hilarious.

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Blah blah, Woof woof
--Jimi Hendrix

Can't believe I'm saying this.

Watch some anime to know what asian girls like.

Generally they like the AFC guys because the upbringing has been more ''stiff'' for AGES. It has never been in the upbringing to be attracted to the adventre type, who goes against the law.

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I would avoid humour all together. Too many cultutal pitfalls.

Me with chinese girl. An attractive girl walks by; my eyes follow.

She says 'you see her'

me (jokingly, its obvious I saw her) ;Oh no, i never notice her'

A western girl would smile.

She says (deathly serious) 'you lie, you liar'.

Be very careful with sexual humour aswell.

Yeah, I have realized this. But how do you arouse a girl when it is impossible to be subtler than a bat to the face.

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Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

There are other ways besides humour.

As a westerner in china you have incredible status.I have read endless reports of even older western guys in china who have more girls than they can handle.

Go out as a 'friend', some excuse to go back to your place. A bottle of wine and you want to practice that foot/back/head massage you did a course on years ago.

At some point she will say she is a 'traditional' girl.

Ten minutes after that she is screaming......

What I'm curious about is how you move from massage, to sexual connection without humor. Unless you bring back a hooker, which if I get one, I'd better not be paying.

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Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

Obviously we have different styles.

My answer is how can you not move from massage to a sexual angle?

If she is very lmr, start with a head massage, followed by back ('now that I've started I might as well give you the full service').

You ofcourse have to have hands under her blouse on her back as she is lying on the floor face down. (' You have to have skin to skin contact to transfer your energy to hers'). You will find no resistance as you undo her bra strap.

You don't need humour; be firm, strong and gentle.

Touche.

_________________
Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.