Ok guys, I've done it, I've ventured into the one place no man dares to go, to the place men fear with their souls, all for the sake of my drive to understand women, to see their side of the game: I've gone into my girlfriend's sexual history, in excruciating detail, and she's gone into mine as well.
Its usually not a place to go to, it is painful to find out how your gf got fucked by a 30 year old dude who smoked weed or how she only came once from doggy style, but there were a few things going through my head when I made the decision to open myself up fully and completely to her side. Firstly on our very first night we were pretty open about sexual past, because we didn't think it would lead to anything more. However as we started seeing each other and falling in love those feelings of retroactive jealousy grew intensely in my head. She hadn't told me much, but it got my imagination working hardcore. To hear that your gf madeout with some guy so hard in a club that the security guard had to come over and ask them if they don't have a bed, and people apparently taking pictures and videos of the ordeal sure is a horrible experience. And she said it with a sense of pride as well. It was two choices for me, leave it where it is and close myself up, or open it up completely, battle retroactive jealousy and have an insanely open relationship with my girl so we feel as if there are no limits. And then i thought this would be an amazing opportunity to hear the female side of the game, because my girl has been through hell and back and is herself a female pickup artist per se.
My girlfriends story: the female side
My girlfriend was a cold bitch when i met her. In the bar she was the most talkative girl, smiling giving signals, playing along, warmth everywhere. She was trying to pick me up, and i was trying to pick her up.
We had a one night stand. This is when i noticed her behaviors that gave away that she was hurt quite a few times. Little habits like jokingly telling me to leave after we were done and her attitude towards me after the sexual tension was released became harsher, as if she expected me to fuck off now. She turned her emotions off.
Talking to men she found hot was a thing she did every time she went out to the club. She told me she got makeouts around 90% of the time and numbers as well. my girlfriend literally went out to the club to pickup guys. She told me yesterday she got to a point where she felt like it wasn't worth it to go out anymore because a lot of interactions she had were hard work. Lets look at this again. MY GIRL LITERALLY WENT OUT TO PICKUP GUYS. Nothing more, nothing less. Yes not all girls do this on such a regular basis, but they still do it. My girl was the initiator at least 50% of the time. She would walk up to guys and start an interaction and try to get a makeout. You think girls don't want to be approached, well just look at what i wrote here. They're eager to get approached.
I was always afraid that my girl didn't actually like me a lot. Its just an insecurity. She gave off the image that she had no strings attached sex all the time, an array of fuck buddies, and the sort. Yesterday she opened up some more. And guess what, its almost impossible for girls to have sex multiple times with someone without getting attached. After having sex a few times with a guy, this cold girl who showed little emotion planned a future with the dude. She wanted to see him again badly. Girls on the outside are cold but on the inside are extremely warm. She said she "catches fire easily" meaning she is easily attracted, but this is every girl, only she has no shame in saying it.
With this knowledge that really she is extremely needy on the inside but really harsh and cold on the outside, it showed me that the inside is what counts. No matter what the girl thinks says or does on the superficial level, the inside is what matters. Yes we hear this all the time in pickup, focus on subcommunication, not superficial communication, however to actually hear it and see it and just observe it is incredible in my opinion, it's like...it's true. It's all true.
So, my girl being the person that she is, hard on the outside, but warm on the inside, made me really want to find out how she became this way. I had long talks with her about her past experiences and how she met guys, and what she expected of them. Here are a few key pointers she told me, all of them bluntly and directly (keep in mind that she is not the kind of girl who is oblivious to the game, she herself is a pickup artist and played the dating game for 2-3 years):
1) She feels different on the inside than she's showing on the outside - THE BIG ONE. Subcommunication is key. Watch RSD Alex's shit as he has the best mentality for this concept, because it is TRUE. As long as the girl is talking to you, with you in an interaction, she's GETTING WET. She likes you. She's getting excited and turned on, even if she's not showing it. My girlfriend gets wet and half the time I don't even notice, because I think that it takes long for a woman to get wet. Nope. Half the time SHE doesn't even know how wet she is. Trust me. She gets insanely wet, and she herself was astounded at how wet she gets. She told me she never got as wet for someone as she did with me, and we had many instances where her pussy was leaking and we were both just in shock and awe. This also goes for places outside the bedroom obviously. If a woman is making out with you, she is GETTING WET RIGHT THERE. She really is. It's physiologically true. It's happening right then and there, you just can't see it. She fucking likes you.
2) She gets bored when the guy doesn't take the lead in the conversation - she told me she had many experiences with guys where at first the guy seemed interesting, but then all he wanted to do was makeout or keep talking. He never to the lead to do anything, to take it any further. My girl went out looking for sex, the dude didn't push for it. He didn't push for it most likely because he thought girls don't like sex, or they don't like one night stands. Ha.
3) She doesn't like it when the guy leads all the time - She told me she found it irritating if the guy felt a need to always lead. She likes to lead as well, yes she is a little more feisty than most girls, but if the guy never gave her the opportunity to take charge once in a while, she felt like the guy was just a douche who wanted his way all the time. This goes hand in hand with not expecting anything out of an interaction. If you go up to an interaction for the sole purpose of getting the girl and nothing more, then your chances are severely decreased.
4) She loves sex - She told me very early on after we had sex that she loves it. She goes out and seeks it. She told me she thought her sex life was good before she met me. And then she met me. Ha. A quote of hers
"If it's about sex, why wait?" She told me a story about a date she went on and at the end the guy didn't invite her up to his place, but she asked if they should go upstairs. He declined because he didn't want it to happen so fast. He then said he's not looking for something casual. He walked her home which in turn showed her he cared about her, giving her thoughts of potential boyfriend material. The dude never called again. She felt rejected on both a sexual level and relationship level.
5) Girls go out to hook up - I have met her friends, and many of them she goes out with are of a similar mentality. Yes you will obviously find girls who are conservative. But listen, conservatism is a conscious barrier, not a subconscious one. My girlfriend is sexually uninhibited, so she is able to tell me her inner most cravings, cravings that EVERY girl feels. Girls go out to hook up with guys. Her circle of friend have at some point or another picked up a guy, probably a guy who they just found hot (sorry ugly fellas).
6) Looks really aren't everything - After telling me that she needs to find a guy hot in order to fuck him, I questioned it. I told her about the differences in attraction between males and females. I asked her to imagine a scenario where a guy who really wasn't that attractive came up and talked to her, and turned out to be really cool, funny, had good eye-contact, had an intensity, confidence, and just carefree. She replied that yes, that would attract her and even turn her on, giving me a "defeated" look.
7) Confidence is high on the list - I asked her very early in our "relationship" back then what attracts her the most. She replied, "I dunno, but when a guy is confident that is really attractive". We all know what confidence is. Be it.
If the sex isn't good, she won't see you again - Let me rephrase that, if the sex is HORRIBLE, she won't. She told me a story about a one night stand she had where the guy was so bad she had to ask him to "move his hips for once". She said it was really bad sex, and she left at like 7am, even though the guy wanted her to stay. She never saw him again.
9) She's up for having adventures such as threesomes, but only if she's not judged - My girlfriend almost had a threesome twice. She's had sex with a girl, and in a club had a threeway makeout twice, which almost led to going home with both the guy and the girl. However both times it didn't happen, once because the guy went to the toilet and she decided to go home with her friend instead and have sex, the other time because just as they were about to ask the dude to come home with them her friends showed up, and they said they would just go home. ASD popped up. She didn't want to be judged.
10) For her there are three things that have to fit to be in a relationship; sex, emotion, spirituality - What this means is that she is able to have some sort of relationship with a guy as long as she is sexually compatible, however it won't be deep and meaningful. If sex and emotion are involved, then she can have more of a serious relationship. If however she is compatible with the guy on a sexual, emotional and spiritual level, then she said the choice isn't even hers if she wants to be in a relationship. She just has to be in one. This is what happened with us.
11) Big dicks aren't always that great - Yep, excruciating detail. My girl had an 8 inch dick, and well, probably was good, but she told me it isn't as good as you'd think it is. She's small, so no hard pounding, would take a while to get it in, etc. etc. On the other hand she's told me that I'm the best sex she's ever had, and that I have opened a new sexual chapter for her in her life. This was after our 2nd time sleeping with each other. And since then we have been on a sexual adventure exploring each other's sexuality and expanding it. All this with a very average dick on my part haha.
12) She is just as scared when it comes to picking up guys as you are picking up girls - Most if not all of the time she picked up a guy, she was drunk. Inhibitions lowered, fear gone. When she met me, she wasn't drunk, but she was still intoxicated. She had had a few beers inside of her beforehand, so she was loose. I was completely sober on the other hand, and achieved the same mental freedom she had from alcohol that night, and we clicked. I talked to her about picking girls up during the day, and she said she would be too scared to do it (even though she likes to brag that yeah it's easy, but when it comes down to it, she said she would feel to weird and would be too scared). She asked if I did it, and I told her the truth, that I did and that I had something going on with someone I met during the day on the streets.
13) She is just as insecure as anyone else - She said she went on this journey to picking up guys because she felt like she had to prove to herself that she can get such hot guys. Think about that. Before this journey, she, a girl who without make-up is a solid 7.5, and with make-up a solid 8.5 (raised up to 9 if she's dressed the right way) never thought she could get a guy she found attractive. Does that remind you of someone? Maybe...you?
14) Yes it is absolutely true girls get approached ALL the time - Fuck me twice, my girl gets approached so often. Every time I see her she tells me about how some dude called her a cutie on the street or creeped her out, and yes she got approached a TON in the bar and club. Whilst most guys would refrain from having girl talk with her and her friends, I dove in there. All her friends have similar experiences. Meeting a dude every time they go out, even on trips, etc.
15) Girls are oblivious to shy guys - Why do girls generalize when it comes to guys? I told my girl about the group of guys on the dancefloor that stand on the outer edges, surveying the dancefloor but never approaching. I told her how difficult it is for most guys to approach a girl. Her response was "Really?" I told her she doesn't know this because she's getting approached by all the guys who have balls, which is like 10% of all guys, and the 90% of guys that don't approach her she is oblivious to, they are not even in her reality. It really opened her eyes for a second as she began to realize this fact. And well, guess what, the guys with balls are not always that socially calibrated, so they are idiots, douchebags, sleazebags, selfish motherfuckers (like us a little haha), but selfish motherfuckers with little
empathy and knowledge of how to play the game right. Confident guys, but needy guys. The classic example is the guy who is able to get a makeout in the club, but then doesn't push it further. He becomes "the makeout guy". In this case my girl either had two options, leave the fucker, or push the interaction herself towards sex.
16) In fact, girls are oblivious to the fact that the game is different for the two sexes - I explained the fucking game to her (without ever really mentioning pickup). I told her about guys and neediness, how it is the killer, how a change in focus is necessary, how I always did it for the experience, how I didn't even WANT sex when I met her, that I expected absolutely NOTHING. I told her I would've been totally fine not going home with her (and that's the truth), because I know that if I am needy it will turn most girls off. So my expectations were gone. My focus went from I wanna fuck you, to I just wanna have a good time with myself and you. She on the other hand played the game sexually, and she's allowed to, because she's a girl. He walking up to a guy has a really high chance of "opening". Guys are always more receptive to girls than girls are to guys. Just think about the fact that 90% of the time she went out she got a makeout or a number, and this without even having to learn game. Just naturally the way it is. She's a girl, she's hot, guys will wanna fuck her. Guys have a switch mentality, girls have a volume knob mentality.
17) Girls are influenced society, media, and past experiences - Duh. But one thing my girlfriend told me was that she was so surprised and even a little disappointed that I didn't buy her the ticket to the cinema when we went on our first "date" after we had fucked haha. She told me she likes it when a guy pays for her drink, it shows her he likes her. My girl is a little different, she does like it when a guy shows interest, but she DOESN'T like it when it's because of supplication. I told her about my general rule never to buy a girl a drink. I bought her one in the bar, yes, but not because I wanted to get in her pants, rather because I thought fuck it, why not. However She literally expected me to pay for the ticket the next day. Again, on the outside she was disappointed, on the inside she thought "Never met a guy like this before. He's not even buying my ticket! Asshole! I want his dick even more now. I need his validation!"
After this at one point we were in a bar and she told me to buy her a drink (after we already got together), because she said, and I quote, "You should buy me a drink now, because you're the boyfriend, and that's what the boyfriend has to do!" I said "What? No. Buy your own drink." She ended up buying me a drink instead. Ha.
18) Girls want to be swept off their feet - She told me that she never believed in what we have. Love. She told me deep down inside she always wanted something more meaningful, she NEEDED it. She NEEDED to go from one guy to the next. "It's so bad when you constantly need to have someone. Sometimes I would get another guy because it didn't work out with the last one, just for the sake of knowing that I can still get someone and that I have something. That I know someone likes me." Her words. The sex with us is so amazing because it is EMOTIONAL at this point. She told me no one ever traveled so deeply into her...heart. Haha. Into her soul. She has never been so open with anyone, and the same goes for me. No one has touched her like that before. She never believed in it, and then it just happened to her.
That's it for now. I will continue to add things to this thread as I find out more and more about this sort of shit.
CHAT
