I'm glad you posted this question, as I was pretty beat last night and I think I totally wandered off track and never actually gave you an answer, lol.
As Must pointed out, different things work on different people. I actually JUST posted a reply to a guy asking about a girl that negs weren't working on and I made a much wordier statement of basically the same thing. It might be worth a read to gain some perspective, as perhaps this isn't just a gender thing as you kinda sounded like you felt last night, but more a diversity issue. Here's the thread:
here-vp157379.html#157379
Also, remember you are a girl and there are going to be differences. As men, we need the women to qualify to us, in order to let us know she gives a shit about us and isn't just talking to us for no reason. We discussed how utterly blind us men are to your subtle signals, so perhaps try being a little more overt by qualifying somewhat in order to get your point across. That being said, you don't want to be falling over yourself trying to show him that you like him, it's just as unnattractive as when a guy does it to you.
I think perhaps you've made a common mistake by taking something that you've read and accepted it as a rule. We've all done it; usually completely by accident, just because of the fact we took it from what we believed was a reliable source and we didn't question it enough before tucking it away in our heads. Question EVERYTHING you read. Question what I'm saying right now, cause if you're not, then you're gonna end up adopting unhelpful beliefs, or accept something a little more than you should; even when you DO question things, this still happens, so if you don't, then you're gonna be doing it constantly.
Even us guys qualify to women. Usually we show dissinterest first and get them to start qualifying to us first, but hell, often it's perfectly alright to be the first one to qualify; I mean the person doing the approach may need to demonstrate that they are a person worth talking to before the other person cares to listen. The belief should be not to qualify too much, not to never do it, cause if you don't, then the other person has no clue you're into them. This is what is known as an SOI, or a Statement of Intent, or conversely, the other person can view it as an IOI. Gotta remember to put yourself in their shoes and think how they're interpreting what you're doing, that way you can much more accurately portray your true intentions. As they say in Introducing NLP, "Meaning isn't what you intend, it's what the other person perceives."
*Edit: Somehow I totally failed to read the bolded parts of your post, unless you just did that, which I don't think is the case, so some of what I said is actually agreeing with what you've said there already. Again, I'm a little pre-occupied with everything I'm doing at the moment and didn't get a lot of sleep last night (glares at Bonita) and so I wasn't actually arguing with you, in case it appears that way.*
CHAT
