Some background: I've been dating this girl who lives 2 hours away for about a month and a half officially, but have been engaged in relationship-like behavior with her for about a month prior to that. Everything was going great up until about 2 weeks ago when I start noticing her interest withdrawing after a camping party. This was sometimes apparent in person, but primarily over text message (e.g. nearly no smiley faces, less engaging, etc). During the party, I noticed her flirting subtly for the first time around a guy there. However, I didn't think he is the concern she read me a text out of the blue that he sent the next day after the party acting really AFC to which I casually laughed at what it said. (Shit test?)

Anyways fast forward; I noticed she had been acting somewhat shady this last week. For the first time yet, didn't seem to have intentions to hangout on the weekend (which was completely fine with me). Turns out I find out she went to a show with her best friend (and only mentioned the two of them going) and with the guy from the camping party and some of his friends followed by a hotel party. Again, this wouldn't have been an issue with me at all had she mentioned it initially. During this whole process of me discovering what she was actually doing, I acted completely ignorant to part she was hiding.

Three days ago I drove there to break it off with her for the dishonesty. After I mentioned I knew and explained I wouldn't have cared if she had mentioned it originally and I wouldn't tolerate that behavior, the discussion shifted to both our changes in interest level. She said that my current living situation (in a 2 bedroom apartment with my ex until my lease is up in 2 months) has been driving her crazy which I was unaware of previously. Towards the end of the conversation she made the suggestion of being friends I think because of that but I'm not exactly sure. I responded saying that I had no interest in a typical friendship and shortly after she left visually irritated I could tell. Throughout the entire conversation I remained totally aloof but still receptive.

The following day after not hearing or speaking to her since the breakup saying: "I know you probably hate me or whatever. But I just really wanted to say sorry from the bottom of my heart! I really hope I didn't hurt you or anything!! I really truly care for you... and I hope maybe one day things will work out for us... if you still want them to that is!!!" I responded a while later saying: "No I don't hate you haha I just never expected that from you so mainly I just feel disrespected. The major reason the friends option doesn't appeal to me is because the friendships following something disrespectful end up meaningless to me. Kinda like the one I have with *a mutual friend* lol so I want to think about it more and figure out where to go from there. I appreciate the apology though, thank you" (she took offense and never apologized to when I gave her an expecting look after I told her I knew what she up to during the break up).

Questions:
1) In her apology message, do you think she was implying that hopefully a relationship works out or that a possible friendship does?
2) I never received a response to the message I sent her (first time ever) so I'm wondering if that was possibly to harsh? Does it imply that a she may have wanted just a friendship and is upset with my reasoning for not wanting one?
3) Given my intentions were to show I won't allow her to step on me (I've treated her respectfully and well on all instances prior to this) are to turn this into a casual sex relationship or return it to a relationship, what approach do you think would best accomplish this?

I realize that's a lot of information so thanks in advance for any input.

good lord,

all she wanted is a good smackin'

and you call it dishonesty?

Poor girl.

Let me explain though,

If your relationship is going stale, your girl will probably try to get some emotions flowing. Making you jealous is one way. Too bad you had to overreact and call it 'dishonesty'. You could just have gone 'angry' right there and then and would've banged her in the bathroom, but you decided to wait not one but three days and go all moral high ground on her. Protip: women don't have any concept of 'honour'.

goodjob.

now some questions for you:
What does this convey to her?
What did you do to get together?
How are you going to use that information?

Thanks for the reply,

I think I see what you mean. But regarding your questions, I really am not sure what this all conveys to her. My intention was illustrate boundaries considering I do not attempt to control her at all. So for her to cross the only boundary I have, honesty, I withhold my affection.

Not really the most romantic way to meet someone lmfao but we met at a small hotel party my friends had after a rave over new years. I wasn't really even attempting to game her then and didn't meet up with her for about a month after that. Could definitely tell she was still very attracted once the time came around.

How am I going to use this information? I was thinking about calling her tonight, not even mentioning anything about what happened in the past week and invite her along to do something fun I'll be doing over the weekend. If there is still the attractive spark there, then so be it. If not I plan on moving on. The only thing is I'm trying to evaluate where she stands so I can mentally prepare myself for what type of interaction there will be, hence the questions I asking in my original post.

hey man, first lesson try not to date a girl that lives more than 45 minutes away, the ideal situation no more than 30 minutes... Her interest withdrawing may be cause you are getting needy, i will recommend you to go to youtube and type crawling out of neediness by Tyler Durden (dude trust me).
yep, she may be interested in another dude, probably did something with him already and she is losing interest for you, you are probably right.
You did good, strong boundaries, so you do not become betasised and a pussy. Most times women break up there is already another dude possible replacement, probably the camping dude.
this girl is not invested, she wants out, and living the door open with you in the future...


Dude get other women......

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I appreciate your thorough breakdown and evaluation of my situation, thanks. I'll check out the video you mentioned. Although I don't believe I ever demonstrated neediness knowingly to her, there is definitely something to gain from improving on that in general.
I definitely plan to start the process again. I should say that I never fully invested emotionally into the relationship because she didn't seem like the type that would commit to one long term even when she was fully interested. As a result of that, I really wasn't too hurt by any of the events that happened recently.

Is it possible to salvage the situation into a casual sex type of thing? If so, how would I go about doing that?

^ YES! there is not even need to discuss relationship status, just as long as you hang out together, will likely results in sex, just play it out like not big deal, do not show neediness or bf type behavior...

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Awesome, that's the way I was planning on going about it if she agrees to meet up. Thanks again man!

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