Ok, 2night I'm home alone without any room mate, so I call this girl I've been bangin on and off since Sophomore year of high school, and she tells me "I don't want to come off as a bitch, but I don't think we should talk anymore, I don't like to feel like I'm being used..." I just hung out with her like 3 or 4 weeks ago. So I was dumb struck by this, and couldn't think of what to say, so I just said "Ok, well talk to you later.." Which is probably the worst way I could handle it. It's weird though, cuz I'm somewhat happy yet somewhat depressed this happened. So idk if I'm suffering from a case mild oneitis or what.

I just keep tellin myself it's not that big of a deal, and I'll pick up better girls. And I know I will, this will just push my motivation further. Now I'm starting from scratch.

If I was an AFC, (you know the one's who marry a woman just because they think they won't be with another woman) I prolly would have married her.

What do you do if she catches on to you being a "player" and claims you are "using her"? Cuz I personally don't think anyone is using anyone, if you get mutual enjoyment.

For the fact that she said that alone, should tell you something. It should tell you that you are coming across that way, which is not good in the eyes of the girls. Unless the girl is looking for that herself.

You've also got to realize too, the girls aren't just dealing with the feeling of physical release like you are. You're saying they are getting mutual enjoyment out of it, which is true on a physical level, but girls don't operate that way. They have emotions tied into what they are doing too, and obviously she's not feeling that this is a mutual thing on that level.

For you, it's on a physical level. For her, it's not.

I need you to think back to the beginning of your relationship with this girl. I need to you to remember which SOIs you gave her that would make her think this was anything other than a sexual/friendship relationship. When you figure out what those SOIs are, I need you to strike them from your repertoire for the rest of your natural life.

This is what happens when you do not clearly state your intentions for a relationship. She builds expectations that are not met, expectations you never wanted to meet. You never explicitly said you weren't going to meet them, though, so she gets to assume whatever the hell she wants regarding the nature of your relationship. If she thinks you guys should be moving towards something, but you only ever call her for a booty call, she's going to be pissed. If she knows from the beginning that you are only interested in a friends-with-benefits thing, she has a choice to make: deal with that style of relationship, or not. If she decides not, you don't get to sleep with her, but you avoid this problem in the future. If she decides to deal with it, and she pulls shit like this in the future, call her on her bullshit. After that, you'll find the real reason she wants to break things off (or one of the real reasons, anyway), and you can deal with that, instead of the excuse.

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Repent now and save 50% on your next divine judgment.
-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud

Yea, monkey that makes a lot of sense. I told her several years ago that I just wanted to be friends with benefits. And after talking to her some more on the phone, she told me that she felt really strong emotions towards me just this past year, and she said she regretted getting them, because she knew I wasn't interested in getting back together with her. And she even added, I think just to piss me off... idk exactly why, "I can get sex anywhere...blah blah..." And if she's going to act like that it's not even that worth it to me anymore, cuz I mean we have a long history and everything, but she's only like an HB 7.5 so it's not really worth dealing with all this drama bullshit.
And another thing, is that she knew me before I discovered the community and I guess she's noticed some changes in me, which all of a sudden weren't congruent with my old afc self. But anyways, she will probably get a boyfriend, have sex with him, and discover he's just an AFC and not a good lover, and in the back of her head be craving sex from me.

Don't mean to pry (oh yeah I do) but it sounds like you have feelings for her still. I could be dead wrong and you're just saying that to make it feel better because she, not you, ended the relationship.

Perhaps you should consider MLTR? Make it clear to her that you have these feelings for her as well, despite your initial agreement of a FB, and that you would like to be with her and still keep it an "open" relationship. Cause maybe she's just doing this as a last resort measure to get your attention.

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

just because you learned how to neg a women doesn't make you a better lover. It may give you a better chance of picking someone up, sure, but you are not automatically a good lover.

Excellent point.

It's possible one of her friends said something to her either about her or about a similar situation. Like you said, you been banging her for a while now so I guess it's time to move on. Still maintain a friendship with her while you seek other girls, tell her it's fine if you don't have sex with her because you still enjoy having her as a friend. At some point in the future it might come back around, but it's probably better to salvage your friendship with her than just letting it go away.

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