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i agree that certain women do value nice guy traits...but its not common. and why 'treasure' these women?
They should be treasured for the same reason any other rare thing is treasured: they're rare. ^_^
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quoteput out a global survey and you will quickly see that the majority of women are attracted to dominant alpha traits rather than nice guy feminine traits.
While much of your argument is based on broad hyperbole and generalizations, I think this statement in particular smashes the point home. There is absolutely no basis for this argument beyond the anecdotoal, yet you assert it to be _fact_. When someone publishes a peer reviewed academic research paper on the topic of attraction, one that shows how different qualities are valued by a representative sample of women, we can talk broad generalizations. Until then, you're asserting a belief, one that I think is fundamentally flawed.
Also, to equate Nice Guy traits with femininity hurts my anthropology brain.
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do you realize that you are allowing her to take you into her own reality rather than her into yours. this statement above shows that you are VALIDATING yourself to her based on what SHE wants to hear.
No, you're being a manipulative little fuck, and I applaud you for it. You're not bending your personality to display the traits she finds attractive; you already have the traits she finds attractive. What you're doing instead is _displaying_ those traits, showing her that you meet or exceed her requirements for "person I will shag."
If she says she hates the outdoors, and you happen to love the outdoors, I'm not suggesting that you should hide the fact that you love the outdoors. Superficial things like that are worked around easilly enough (I have a post in the wayback machine that discusses emotional resonance; it's a good post, and talks about why a woman will "magically come to like the outdoors" because you do; hint: it has nothing to do with "taking her into your reality"). A dislike of the outdoors is not something she requires from a mate; it's a superficial personality trait that, honestly, means nothing at all. Such narrow traits rarely enter into the attractiveness of a person.
Instead, a trait like "active," does. It doesn't really matter _how_ you're active, but if a girl wants an active guy, you need to be able to show that you meet that criteria, be that outdoors or in. That trait's polar opposite, "laid back" can be equally (or more!) attractive to a different woman, and you need to be able to show how you meet _that_ criteria, too. I am both active and laid back; I'm certain you are too. The question is not "Do I bend my personality to have these qualities?" but instead "How do I show that I already possess these qualities?"
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Monkey, dude, you fucking told it all.
I always do, sir.
I always do.
it would take a fairly long post to comment on every point above that I dont agree with, I agree with some of what you say but most of it is based around validating yourself to her by 'displaying' traits that you THINK she is interested in. I repeat, rather look for a girl that meets YOUR desirable taits, you will save yourself a lot of time! and you say that you 'already' have those traits and its just a matter of displaying....you will never have all the traits that any girl out there wants, so how do you mean you already have them? im not going to pretend i have traits to prove to her that we're a good match. it sounds like you base your entire match-make upon HER desires rather than yours. your framing is backward.
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No, you're being a manipulative little fuck, and I applaud you for it.
This comment really does show that you have misunderstood me, completely. I really do not see how being manipulative has anything to do with what I said. And even if it did, dnfluence is a good thing my friend, as long as both parties are happy with the outcome and the interaction was not dishonest and unethical. You are simply leading, if she is happy to be led then you are doing her good.
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it's a good post, and talks about why a woman will "magically come to like the outdoors" because you do; hint: it has nothing to do with "taking her into your reality").
Its called shaping, she will start trying to agree with you and 'create' commonalities based on YOUR interests. she is trying to match up to YOUR desirable traits. i think youre reading a liiittle too much into the initial point i was trying to convey.