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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 4:20 am 
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One thing u forget to mention is that pick up can be very boring
If pickup is boring you're doing it wrong...

Pickup is about having fun... improving your life, getting a better job, becoming better with woman is fun. Yes the means by getting there isn't always fun(staying late to study, working late for promotion whatever)But the end result is fun...


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:39 pm 
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The community amounts to little more than a transitional phase for 97% of the toads who pass through it ... just long enough to gain the rudimentary skills to get a girlfriend, become a co-dependent loser for a couple years before he gets dumped, cheated on - or worse - is so insecure that he marries a woman who rag dolls his wussy ass and then takes him to the cleaners or ruins his life altogether.

Let them have their fun. You know know how it's going to turn out for them in the end. Compassion, brother.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:28 pm 
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I think this is a VERY interesting topic. I have also noticed in my experience, a trend of pua's who go straight from "AFC -> PUA" and never quite grasp what it is like to have a "normal life".

I can think of a couple of people I've known who went from having no friends and no partners to having a wild stop-start life of one night stands and vague mutual friends.

They live an arguably happy life but many of these people IMO are lacking when it comes to forming long term bonds or holding down friendships and it often shows to anyone who isn't a pua.

I think this community has to realise that a lot of its material is concerned with a very specific set of circumstances and individuals in mind and that a more tailored approach might be necessary to avoid scenarios where guys are trying to stick square pegs into round holes.
I'm guilty of this. Never figured out the big picture of a social life which pick-up is only supposed to be a small part of. But I did learn to care less about failure and focus on pushing forward.

If you watch any pick-up guru in action, you notice the material he teaches is only about 5% of what he does. The rest is about just being a socially adjusted guy.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:59 pm 
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I think this is a VERY interesting topic. I have also noticed in my experience, a trend of pua's who go straight from "AFC -> PUA" and never quite grasp what it is like to have a "normal life".

I can think of a couple of people I've known who went from having no friends and no partners to having a wild stop-start life of one night stands and vague mutual friends.

They live an arguably happy life but many of these people IMO are lacking when it comes to forming long term bonds or holding down friendships and it often shows to anyone who isn't a pua.

I think this community has to realise that a lot of its material is concerned with a very specific set of circumstances and individuals in mind and that a more tailored approach might be necessary to avoid scenarios where guys are trying to stick square pegs into round holes.
I'm guilty of this. Never figured out the big picture of a social life which pick-up is only supposed to be a small part of. But I did learn to care less about failure and focus on pushing forward.

If you watch any pick-up guru in action, you notice the material he teaches is only about 5% of what he does. The rest is about just being a socially adjusted guy.
This is something that I saw in AFC Adam that I rarely saw in other PUAs. He had social adjustment down, in a way that few of his contemporaries did.

Adam looked like and was a nice guy who was sensitive and well adjusted to the people around him, you could tell within 5 minutes of seeing him that he was someone who gets on very well with other people.

To me it even comes across in his clothes and his grooming. People like Style wore gimmick boots and crazy hats, with Adam his clothing was just a genuine attempt to look nice and fit in. Part of me thinks that this fact had a lot to do with his success.

(I'm not saying I think pea-cocking/what-ever doesn't work and isn't worth trying, just that it has a habit of being used as a replacement for more orthodox social skills and as a result is usually symbolic of the wearers social awkwardness.)


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 Post subject: Hi
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 6:06 pm 
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I think this is a VERY interesting topic. I have also noticed in my experience, a trend of pua's who go straight from "AFC -> PUA" and never quite grasp what it is like to have a "normal life".

I can think of a couple of people I've known who went from having no friends and no partners to having a wild stop-start life of one night stands and vague mutual friends.

They live an arguably happy life but many of these people IMO are lacking when it comes to forming long term bonds or holding down friendships and it often shows to anyone who isn't a pua.

I think this community has to realise that a lot of its material is concerned with a very specific set of circumstances and individuals in mind and that a more tailored approach might be necessary to avoid scenarios where guys are trying to stick square pegs into round holes.
I'm guilty of this. Never figured out the big picture of a social life which pick-up is only supposed to be a small part of. But I did learn to care less about failure and focus on pushing forward.

If you watch any pick-up guru in action, you notice the material he teaches is only about 5% of what he does. The rest is about just being a socially adjusted guy.
This is something that I saw in AFC Adam that I rarely saw in other PUAs.

Adam looked, acted and was a nice guy who was sensitive and well adjusted to the people around him, you could that he was someone who gets on with other people very well.

To me it even comes across in his clothes and grooming. Unlike people like Style there is no gimmick boots or crazy hats, its a genuine attempt to look nice and just fit in.

(I'm not saying I think pea-cocking/what-ever doesn't work and isn't worth trying, just that it has a habit of being used as a replacement for more orthodox social skills and as a result is almost symbolic of the wearers social awkwardness.)
The reason that UK guys are scared to peacock, is fear of being laughed at and lacking the frame to make it work. It is not necessary but helps if u can maintain ur frame. Ali G and Borat had powerful comedic frame to make it work, to the point of people being scared to laugh at them, due to fear of being called a racist.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 8:22 pm 
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I'll say this though, learning to pick up and do a full close consistently in a club is much harder then keeping a relationship. If you have mastered that part, you only have a few adjustments to make to be good at day 2s and relationships. Most girls get clingy after you fuck them 2-3 times anyways.
I guess it assumes what you mean by relationship (exclusive for 5 years?), but I've consistently heard the opposite from both friends in real life and those who got good and eventually left this forum (marriage, divorce, or otherwise). Some even say PUA made their relationships worse, because of various paradigms are not optimal in a relationship.

Now if what you mean by relationship is girl you casually see and/or cheat on all the time, or something like that, than sure I could see that. But once you get to where you can get girls easier, it is way easier to replace someone than deal with the issues of one relationship. This is why you see many people do multiple relationships, it takes the importance of one girl away -- making it easier to deal with situations in a cold and distant manner.
Pick in up a girl in a club is harder than any other game, other than strip club game, but having a gf, and being in a relationship is super super hard, more than any pick up...

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 Post subject: Re: Hi
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:28 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:07 pm
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Quote:
The reason that UK guys are scared to peacock, is fear of being laughed at and lacking the frame to make it work. It is not necessary but helps if u can maintain ur frame. Ali G and Borat had powerful comedic frame to make it work, to the point of people being scared to laugh at them, due to fear of being called a racist.
Really, I've known a good couple of uk puas who like peacocking.. and I wouldn't consider the comedy creations of Baron Sacha Cohen as a good example to follow!

My note isn't that pea-cocking sucks -I often use one of my many Trilby hats to that effect, just place it on a girls head and that's an instant flirty little "hello"- but that regular pea-cocking as part of a guys walk about style usually tells you that this individual has trouble (or doesn't have any interest in) syncing in with other people.

Good communication IMO isn't all about "controlling frame" it's about finding meeting points and using these to guide people in the direction you want.

Puas sometimes have the bad habit of trying to make the communicative process into a battle of control, trying to force people to get in line with their wants and their feelings about the situation. Now this can be a helpful mindset to begin with as new guys try to figure out how to assert and express themselves.

But IME you can run into a brick wall when you use this model as the basis of ALL your communicative efforts. Take a look at this forum for example, an entire web-site filled with guys who are supposed to be experts in communication and they spend most of their time bickering like 8 year olds over differences in PU ideology.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:40 pm 
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Loved the post but I think "direct = numbers game" is on par with saying "Buy a car to get girls!" in terms of judgement.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:35 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
One thing u forget to mention is that pick up can be very boring
If pickup is boring you're doing it wrong...

Pickup is about having fun... improving your life, getting a better job, becoming better with woman is fun. Yes the means by getting there isn't always fun(staying late to study, working late for promotion whatever)But the end result is fun...
Wtf lmao! How did the bold get in there? If I wanted to get a better job the last place I would be is a pua forum.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:51 pm 
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One thing u forget to mention is that pick up can be very boring
If pickup is boring you're doing it wrong...

Pickup is about having fun... improving your life, getting a better job, becoming better with woman is fun. Yes the means by getting there isn't always fun(staying late to study, working late for promotion whatever)But the end result is fun...
Wtf lmao! How did the bold get in there? If I wanted to get a better job the last place I would be is a pua forum.
In fact PUA (well natural game) helps in all aspects of life. Employers don't want push over employees who are needy for their bosses approval. This makes an unproductive employee. PUA helps develop your confidence, and confidence can be all the difference between you and someone else in line for promotion.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:58 am 
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This forum is lacking the number of knowledgeable and caring people that it held in the past. The crazies have always frequented this forum as they do now but in the past, knowledgeable members offered some balance. In the past, this balance was what separated this forum from the rest.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 1:57 am 
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I think several individuals have uttered these worlds only to have them brushed aside. I don't know if there is a whole lot that can be done. The website I personally believe sets it self up to many of it's own woes. The way the website is designed is to encourage a high level of new comers because most of the members of the forum will drop out after about a month or so. Many of the individuals who suceed on the forum are often of the same school of thought because they have replicated each others' success tactics. I find that this will be the same regardless of what happens.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:04 am 
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Loved the post but I think "direct = numbers game" is on par with saying "Buy a car to get girls!" in terms of judgement.
Not all direct is a numbers game -- the forum's current phase explicitly states this in various threads. It's the new "type" of direct people are advocating.
What is this new type? The really explicit type I've heard?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 5:13 pm 
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I think several individuals have uttered these worlds only to have them brushed aside. I don't know if there is a whole lot that can be done. The website I personally believe sets it self up to many of it's own woes. The way the website is designed is to encourage a high level of new comers because most of the members of the forum will drop out after about a month or so. Many of the individuals who suceed on the forum are often of the same school of thought because they have replicated each others' success tactics. I find that this will be the same regardless of what happens.

most guys that laid a lot go through a stage, then they eventually settle, imo... I really do not understand this forum at all...Most guys that supposedly lay a lot are not congruent with their testimony, do not make sense to me... Then you have the inner game dudes/life dudes, that are super angry, again, does not make any sense to me... This forum is a nut house, that is why i have never ever taken it seriously, ever since i got trash from an old post on how to deal with clingers and stalkers, thanks God for that, i realize this guys are amateurs at best...With that being said, the worst advise someone can get is from a forum imo...

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:49 pm 
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People who actually give advice and have some kind of knowledge leave because they have already learned all they can from this forum. They stay and help for a while but get tired of answering the same questions over and over. PU arts is more then picking up women, it's becoming a real man and not just an image of an "alpha male" like the newbies want to pretend. It's hard to translate years of experience and 100s of hours of knowledge from books into one response to some 17 year old kid asking about "the girl". A lot of great advice falls to deaf ears.
Quote:
This forum is lacking the number of knowledgeable and caring people that it held in the past. The crazies have always frequented this forum as they do now but in the past, knowledgeable members offered some balance. In the past, this balance was what separated this forum from the rest.


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