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This is insane, what do you want out of this??
If you want this girl you are going to commit, she has made this clear.
If you do not want to be with this girl, then leave, be done.
You may be able to show her that you care about her, and that you do want a relationship, but aren't ready for anything long term, but it seems unlikely.
You obviously have no trust in your 'relationship', going through her email, and her meeting up with her ex boyfriend. I see trust as one of the top aspects required in a relationship, that and respect, without these your relationship will not work.
best of luck
+1
OP: you need to relax. You have oneitis'ed a chick that I am not really sure you care about (you wanted to get back with her for some more "bang bang"). You seem to only care because she is sort-of rejecting you. This sort of insecurity will only hurt you with women.