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Hey there Jha!
Hola Mich!
I'm about to do a list of things that I have learned in this thread so some of your suggestions will be included but I want to thank you in advance for posting here. If you have a little time would you also be kind enough to post in my situational openers thread because I think the thread has potential but need to get the ball rolling!
situational-openers-vt189416.html
Anyway,
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I really enjoyed reading your journal, well written and plain interesting really.
Thank you for the compliment, I'm just trying to spice things up really. If you think about things creatively outside the field your approach will be more creative INfield, or at least that is the way I see it.
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It is good to see how you're actively improving your game, getting a wingman would be a huge boost for you. Also, with a wingman it is easier to feel more comfortable, so I respect your courage to go out alone. Kudos! If you're ever in The Netherlands, let me know.
You're absolutely right, it is ten times easier with a wingman! The more successful nights out solo I was able to secure an insta-wing. Sometimes though you end up hooked together with the wrong personality type and your styles just don't gel. So it is important to have a wide social circle and the confidence to approach and talk to lots of people (guys and girls) solo. This is something I need to work on.
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As far as your game is concerned, I wont say anything about online or text game.
Haha probably just as well since most of my online game involves trolling unsuspecting female victims thousands of miles away from me...Although some of them deserve it
ME: Far left of what man kind or free markets? (because she said on her profile she was far left)
HER: You're white.
ME: L
ME: O
ME: FUCKING
ME: LOL
HER: ....hahahaha alright.
or another girl
HER: Sorry in the delay I couldn't get on the app I am lost lol
ME: you're gonna have to remind me what the message was because I've had to delete a few x
HER: Ey-o. One
ME: oh you replied to that one? most girls don't reply to that one. interesting. x
HER: I know it was debatable. And Oi I want a personalised first message not a repeat.
ME: I'll see what I can do x
(probably won't bother)
and another cutie pie in a purple top
ME: those puppy dog eyes...
HER: Well I must admit that's a first...
ME: I can't help it I'm just a bit of a cheeky monkey
HER: No no u misunderstood. I've never heard my eyes referred to as puppy eyes lol
ME: ok sorry you have eyes like a monkey
HER: Hahaha nice come back!
ME: touche
HER: So do tell me about ur music
ME: well since you asked, please don't feel too obligated to click on a certain link below
[LINK BLANKED OUT FOR CONFIDENTIALITY PURPOSES]
HER: Hahaha okay if u say so
ME: sooo any thoughts
HER: I like it a lot. It's very relaxing something I could easily read a book to
ME: thank you I'm trying to create that chill SPAM jazz club vibe with my fuzzy sound recording and meandering improvised melodies and blue notes. hope the book you're reading matches the picture I'm building. I'm imagining some big sunshades covering those big blue eyes while you lie on a sunbed watching the surf go by with some giant headphones listening to my music under a huge beach umbrella reading that book of yours.
HER: Well now that could certainly work for me! Sounds like paradise
ME: great! x
HER: U pain a pretty good picture x
ME: I know I'm artistic and creative like that. In fact I think I'm gonna go do a drawing of those giant puppy dog eyes.
HER: Hahaha and would I be able to see this drawing?
ME: nah I just got bored then started picturing you in a tank top
HER: Hahaha and that's not inspiring?
ME: the greatest work of art
HER: Haha nd how would u know
ME: because this is me & u we're talking
HER: I'm confused
ME: you in a tank top + my artistic creativity = the greatest work of art
HER: And is it safe to assume it will be a painting?
And that was the last I contacted. So basically fucking with people's minds seems to get the most replies which is slightly concerning...
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Your day game:
It seems like you're percieved as a bit nervous by most women, try and improve your body language and that will pass. Also, I've noticed that you're a bit focussed on yourself sometimes during game. Try and make conversation before showing interest. That makes the girl a bit more receptive for talking and it is a bit better for beginners in my opinion. For the more direct game the confidence is even more important than for indirect. I do however think that daygame is quite challenging in a mental way, so great that you go out to do it. Remember to capatalize on IOI's though. Think of something to talk about after opening as well.
You're right I am a bit nervous, I think I am worried about how I will be perceived not just by women but onlookers too. This is especially the case since I'm trying to promote my music locally and build up a social networking. I don't want to build a reputation as creep who asks strangers for their phone numbers, so this is part of the reason why I've put so much thought into my ethical approach (no commenting on appearance, nothing profain, etc., etc.). It is possible that I am showing interest to soon but I try to convey that interest non-verbally (gunwitch method) than verbally. Like I said earlier I see myself as a salesman that lays his cards on the table: he demonstrates his interest directly while showing social awareness and without appearing too needy or desperate. Another part of the reason is that I tend to blag and ask for the number as a way of closing the conversation once the awkward silences start to kick in. So yeah, you're right, this is something to work on.
IOI's before an approach are quite rare though to be honest and when you do receive them the window of opportunity is quite slim - i.e. you have to act there and then. With a cold approach I am looking to get the girls attention through unobtrusive eye contact (laid-back/casual 'glazing' over the girl's face) and open body language. It's interesting how some of this body language carries over into my regular interactions in fact, I have to put a lid on the bottle in fact so that I do not appear too manipulative or psychologically invasive in more casual interactions. It's a tricky balance.
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Your mental game is great to deal with rejection, but just keep trying and you will get used to the patterns.
That's a good point actually. Sometimes I am so focussed on recovering from the mental burn-out of a rejection that I am better getting back on my feet than actually walking, so to speak. So the answer to this is again a more aggressive/less recovery-oriented style of game. If I just focus on making a lot of interactions the recovery from burn-outs will probably happen naturally anyway because it's so thoroughly ingrained in my mind how to deal with a rejection properly.
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It also seems you're getting a lot of shit- and compliance-tests.
Yeah it's kind of weird, the initial knee-jerk reaction of most women seems to be "no, I don't want to talk to this guy I don't know him" and then it's "oh well, actually he's kind of interesting" and then when there is a lapse in my game the attitude shifts to, "no, his confidence isn't all that congruent, but he made a good attempt, I guess". In actual fact, the way I see it is that lapses and peaks in positive energy are going to be quite inevitable in any human interaction. Women are used to letting the man lead and take control of these interactions so when someone like me demands something of value to be contributed in return, they are not quite sure how to deal with this different style.
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Do not give up too easily. If they get mad at you, they're in an emotional state of mind, which you can turn around.
One of the hardest things and most recurring issues in a club is when you are just having success with a girl and then her friend drags her away. Often this will be done just when there is a dip in energy as described above.
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Almost a kiss close, but got blocked by the mother hen.
I feel for you mate.
The other night I was in a club using non-verbal game. I saw a 5"6 HB 7/10 on the dance floor and tried to use dance moves to get eye contact. Her initial reaction was negative ("what is this guy trying to pull") and her friend gave me an odd star so I just looked her friend straight in the eye raised an eyebrow like the Rock and gave her a cheeky smirk until she looked away. At that point I was able to elicit attraction with the other girl (7/10), impressed by my non-verbal game.
But I had a glass of vodka coke in my hand and she was moving really close in so the back of my hand was touching her boobs. Kino wise this was obviously a very advantageous situation but logistically it was a disaster because the hand provided a barricade to kissing her. I managed to kiss close but it was a very brief open mouth kiss with a bit of lip bite. Would have gone much better without the glass to be honest. So I tried to redeem the situation first by making convo, but she wasn't impressed by my line and then my attempt to continue non-verbal game.
I briefly turned away to talk to my wing who was waiting for an opportunity to praise my efforts (social proof and also using push/pull - giving the girl some space). After this I was trying to find another way to spark attraction because I felt it could be done but her friend who was trying to cockblock before moved in and dragged her away.
So yeah, sometimes these small things happen that are just out of our control. I think that the situation with the glass of vodka coke could have been recovered if I hadn't resorted to more lame tactics and just moved in direct. Put my hand on her hip or something. I think what got me back on the gimmicks was the fact they were successful in diffusing the girls' friend.
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Overall, I think what you're doing is an example to anyone here. If you want to improve your game, you need to go out! Keep up the good work and the journal, I'll keep reading and give you my feedback.
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Thanks again mate, I'm actually going to increase my number of day game approaches starting from next week because three is not enough.