See, I told you if you keep it up you will see some progress. I have to point out some things though.

You shouldn't really drink so much when you're out to game, it can be just as counterproductive, especially in the long run, as productive it seems to you right now.

Also, if you really want yourself motivated to approach girls, cut of porn and masturbation COMPLETELY. That will get you your desired motivation, I promise

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

18th June '12

Agreed with all points there In$tinct, Masturbation really does lower my drive to go do Pick up, i feel much more sexually frustrated and up for it when i havent done it in days XD

Thanks for the faith, ill make you proud man!

So.. time for a adapt and overcome session of the night out of the 16th.

ill do a feedback sandwich for myself (good points/bad then good again)

What i did good:
-I approached well - with confidence, with the mindset of you want me more than i want you.
-i didnt lean in,
- Didnt chase
- only bought one drink, i got bought two!
-followed the 3 second rule, when i made eye contact, and saw her smile, i went for it. You only have that once chance, catch her off guard, GO FOR IT. -hesitate and you will lose the upper hand.

-I felt i escalated really well, i started by keeping my distance, just dancing, keeping an open body and posture. Then i would get a little closer or her come to me, i still wouldnt grab or touch, just tease and dance. I would pull away 3 or 4 steps when i felt she wanted contact. I felt it worked a charm.
Then i would dance close again, then escalate with contact. start with hips or the arm, then i repeated this process with pulling away, every time we come close together i would escalate further. 15 min or so i would kiss close.

Stuff that i didnt do good:
- all of this review isnt 100% reliable. Due to the fact i was pretty drunk by the end of it.

- Most of my confidence came from alcohol undoubtedly. Start of the night i had my usual hesitation to approach. Therefore more inner game work is still needed, and i still need to practice day game approaching to overcome this.

-The girls i danced with weren't that great in my opinion, maybe 5's or so. The hotter girls will require more skill and work. Im happy with my achievement so far, but to progress i will need to aim higher.

-I got caught out kissing Girl no.3 with Girl no.1 - a side note, all my pulls and closes was in one club XD - i guess moving to a new club after 1 or 2 closes avoids this? On the other hand that can end up being really expensive..- feedback on this would be great please

-My dancing was embarrassing my friends told me - a mix between salsa and Latin they said lol. i was twirling the girl around and holding her against me. - dont know what to make of this, on one hand on the outside view, it looked embarrassing and stupid, however, i got 3 numbers and kisses, so something must of worked? - needs further review and experimenting.
Again down to the booze, im sure dancing what you want with confidence is better than the way i would dance without it.
- i tried to f close with two of them, and the really seemed to want to. However both came up with similar excuses to do with accommodation or cant take me back to theirs (i cant remember exactly) - so, i need to grab some counter excuse comebacks, maybe go down by myself sober one night, and see if i can take her back to the car.
- One question though.. where the hell would you park the car? nowhere in my home city has a quiet enough place =/

What else i did good
-the fact i actually tried to f close is a big step, again thanks to alcohol, but to know the girls seemed to want to, lets me know im capable of doing it.
-well done me for even trying all of this in the first place.
-i didnt wake up with a hangover like i normally do. Therefore: more k closing = less hangover.
- im not being harsh on myself, all of this is positive feedback. What to do better to achieve my goal.

-edit: how could i forget! The last girl of the night, i used (the term may be different) sexual overload- it really seemed to work. I basically blamed her for my frustration and being so damn hot. - again i need more practice and testing for further comments.

That seems about it.. Its going to be a boring week until the weekend, lots of work here-on.

Until then,

Boyo out!

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Limit Nothing. Achieve Everything.
My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html

You do know that your inner game is not going anywhere as long as you're doing your nights drunk, don't you? Yes, you will most probably have worse results, but in the end, you don't want to be an alcoholic, you want to be a PUA. Say you pick-up a girlfriend, you can't stay drunk all day to get the confidence, in fact you had one, so you shouldn't even need to. That didn't make much sense, but I hope you understand where I'm going
This is BS. Forget the myth that hotter girls are harder. In fact, they're somewhat easier, because they're used to the company of guys, they open up really easily, and if you manage to sneak through/break through/or get them to take down their bitch shield, there's little to do besides escalation and taking them home.
Can happen with everyone. I'd have told them: "Okay now you two kiss, to complete the triangle" Probably a big bitchslap is imminent after this sentence but it's totally worth it. My state would break through the ceiling after this. And with the possibility of 0.1-0.5% they could even really kiss, and that...is awesome

If you want to avoid this, there's really hardly any way but to go to other clubs, but I myself barely do that because of the money. So it's up to you. Should you pay, or should you get comfortable with this.
So your friends told you that your dancing was embarassing, but you haven't yet told us how many closes had they got. If less than you, I can imagine a very good reason why they thought it was embarassing. And anyway...who the fuck cares?

For the underlined part. Believe me, you don't need booze to achieve that. You just need a state that shoots for the stars. When you feel that nothing can stop you.

For the bold part. Exactly. You see this is another problem with booze. It makes logistics difficult. You could go with taxi however if you have the money.

For the question, since I don't have a car, I don't know how to solve this, but here cars are rarely violated, and insurance pretty much covers if something happens with it.

That's pretty much my remarks for now. Good day and have fun mate!

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Agreed In$tinct, ill add to my list of objectives, next time i go out, see how i do without alcohol. It does make things much easier approaching.. ill have a little bit of thought on why this is and see if i can apply it.
Ok i stand corrected, thanks bud, but im right in saying theyre harder to get past the initial part and shield? - im sure ill recognise this more as i get experience.

I suppose when another girls sees, try what you can, if it fails then just accept your losses and move on?
Your right bud, i was having fun, the girls seemed to have fun, if thats the case whats wrong with that?
-However learning some decent dance moves will put me at ease and boost my confidence.

Right, im off for a bit of self reflection,

Ciao all,

Boyo

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My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html

Alcohol generally lowers social pressure and makes you think much less, that is the main cause it seems helpful. What should be understood, is that you can get comfortable with opening and approaching generally, realise it's no big deal, and that way, you won't need alcohol to turn those annoying switches inside your head off, because they are already turned off.
It's not necessarily harder. It seems harder because you think it is. In reality, if you behaved just as relaxed, and comfotable around those hot girls, than the not so hot ones, you would have the exact same results talking in bigger numbers.
Pretty much, yes. Since you're out having fun, and picking up chicks is just a way to achieve this and also improving yourself, you should just move on. However, I'm not sure about something. Had you already been blown out by the girl when she caught you with the other?

Because if yes, then there's nothing you can be held responsible for. You can just say: "Look... you were not so interested/did not want exactly what I wanted/ so I just found another girl. Now I think it's time for you to do the same."

If no, and you were gaming those two completely parallelly, then it can hurt them, but in reality, it was just a kiss. There was nothing more. No relationships or crazy things, so there's no need to create drama. You can also say "Look, I'm not looking for anything serious, I'm sorry if you thought something was going on, I'm just here to have fun and I was mistaken to think the same about you." This is, if you want to ruin the fun. I still like my first idea more (but please not that sometimes I can be a jerk).

See there's really no need to lie to them, if the truth hurts, that's their problem not yours.
That's definitely a good idea. No need for anything crazy, just a few cool and interesting moves. It's also some productive thing to do. Learning new things always boosts your ego, which is a good thing.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

21st June '12

EUREKA! - it clicked! God it feels great, im overflowing with Happiness, joy.

Self belief...

Heres the story:

I was in work, and we have to put our locker and room keys in one safe location away from the aircraft. One of the lads decide to play a prank on me, (whos a complete dickhead) and remove my room key from my chain of keys and leave it in a different location in the locker

Not noticing, i grab my keys after work for lunch and head to my room. I get there, realise its gone. I start feeling angry, annoyed frustrated, upset, furious at the guy i suspect whos done it (because its always him).

Usually i would start flapping and punching walls or crying. Instead, i took a few breathes, didnt worry about past or future, just acted on now. I decided to start where i had it last and work from there. I went back, found the key (realised i didnt drop off and got pranked) and got in my room.

Still feeling angry, i sat down and started doing some self reflection ive been doing the past two weeks to work on my inner game (kind of my own way of meditating - without the budda part).

I flowed through my emotions.. ask myself why i was angry, reasoned with myself.
Told myself getting angry or lashing out at the suspect wouldnt help. Biting or arguing with the person only gives them satisfaction that the prank worked and annoyed me.

Then i think i finally found my "source" of anger and getting upset...at first i just felt the ball of negativity. I pictured myself 13 years younger.. curled up in a ball, crying and upset.
When i was a kid.. i got bullied a lot. No just the typical names either. The real physical bullying.

I could never do anything about it.. i didnt really start maturing until 17/18..

I digress, i basically comforted that kid. The side of me that wanted to be confident successful MPUA, motivated that kid. I said i can do something about. I am better than them.

And then it clicked..

Out of the blue without thinking i said out load: "i feel sorry for him"
Maybe ive gone loopy. who knows. - but i have never felt sorry for anyone. Only myself.

Ive realised, that he does pranks and tries to annoy everyone else, because when he stops for a second and looks at himself. He realises hes a bag of sh*t!

So he goes round, trying to annoy and hurt others just to make himself feel better and feel hes better than them. - A typical bully.

Why has it taken me now to finally understand this..

I am who i am. I am better than him, im not saying that to motivate myself. I AM! i work harder, get better results, im fitter and i dont go around pissing everyone else off!

When i go back to work after eating my lunch. He will be there with his ridiculous grin. He will open with something like: "oh what did you do over lunch"

And i will smile. A genuine, deep down from the heart happy smile. Then he'll see it hasnt done anything and will force him to look back at himself as one more person doesnt give a sh*t about him.

This is only the beginning lads. I cant thank everyone here enough. In particular: Chief, In$inct and Kasumi.

Regards,

Boyo

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Limit Nothing. Achieve Everything.
My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html

Cheers for you mate. You handled this very maturely. I like this because this is a very good sign about how well you are on the track. I know that when I started pick-up effectively I matured a lot too. To this point it has reached a level that is even unbelievable for me.

To give you an example, let me tell you a small story. We broke up with my girlfriend two months ago. Not only could I keep my cool when she told me she had cheated. But the dude she cheated on me with is now a very good friend of mine. Whenever I look at him, speak with him, or whatever, what I see is never the dude with whom my girlfriend cheated on me, it's the dude who's my friend because he's a really cool guy.

Eventually it was not me who suffered from this break-up. I'm almost completely over this. Sometimes I miss the good times, but these thoughts are becoming less and less frequent with each day. And the guy really didn't want this, he was just drunk, he felt sorry, and he actually doesn't want anything more from my ex than friends, on the other hand she fell for him quite badly. So...what can I say. She did this to herself lol. I'm living my life, I made a new somewhat special friend and I play chicks all the time. And because I'm still somewhat friends with my ex too, she constantly hears about me gaming 4 different chicks in 2 days, not only from me, but others too while she's feeling bad about this.

Without all the hard work I've been doing, this could never have happened. I'd be broke, upset, and would try to get back with her all the time, feeling miserable and just bad. All the self-improvement pays off, and not exclusively with getting girls. Basically any problem I come across, I handle it with more confidence, with more thought, and more maturity. Which is very powerful, and attractive by the way.

So you can really be proud of yourself. See you managed to stop annoying yourself about these childish people and realised that it's them who would need help not you.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

^This is one way to do it. Another is to just watch yourself without any opinion or inquiry. Just stop everything both physically and mentally for a few seconds and watch yourself as a 'third person'.

Looks like you achieved good results. Congrats.

*By the way, many young girls are stuck in the same "space" as your co-worker; they merely express their insecurities differently.

Kasabi, that's how i pretty much did it, the moment i felt myself get annoyed, i wrote down exactly what happened. I reviewed it later, dug deep and found the cause.

However, i will add after further reflecting, its not just one cause. Its rarely ever is, i found some things about my childhood with parents, school, friends..experiences. Even recent experienes mould who you are

Im working through each one of them. After every session i feel myself becoming more secure. More confident, more complete.

In$tinct, thanks mate, i think im on the same route as you. Your story is a lot like mine with the ex.
I think that needs to be stickied or something and also from gunswitch:
And my personal contribution: Dont worry about the past, as you cant change it. Dont worry about whats going to happen when you say hi to that girl, because you can't plan it. That just leaves acting on the present, go do it!.

To my journal!:
26th June '12

First off an updated Objectives:
So for my updated objectives! Updated: 26th June '12
(green = completed)
-carry out the newbie task - it was fun! and really boosts your confidence. You find that 90% of the time, you get a nice and surprised smile back, i got uncountable head turns, i made sure not to break contact. I spoke to 3 girls, and got one number. Great Success! - Just makes sure you got confidant posture, a good confidant/cheeky smile. No problem.

-Get out to practice more. Go to the nearby shopping centre at least 2 time a week
- must achieve 10 weeks in a row to pass. Set at: 15th June '12.
Currently: 3 weeks

(i know its a low amount however its a realistic and achievable goal.)

- i fear of going by myself. Isnt that weird/creepy?. How do i overcome this? - this is still a big objective for me.. i don't think i have a complete enough inner game to do this. However, i haven't tried it yet. so ill reserve comment.

-Go out night out at least once a weekend - must achieve 10 weeks in a row to pass. Set at: 15th June '12
Currently : 2 weeks

-Continuously work on inner game until i am totally confident with myself. No subconscious counter thoughts etc.
expanding on this:

1:10 day positive thinking challenge - upped the anti to 20 days + setting record. Set at: 13th June '12. Currently : 13 days. Record: 13 days!

2:Focus on the present.. not what might happen, or what they might think. When i do that the thought is purely the current frame of mind, - or usually bad and creates fear. I need to focus on just what im going to say, rehearse maybe once or twice and go for it. im almost there with this. i tell myself this every day, i will green it all when its second nature

3:Care less to what people think and say about me. I am what i am, is their problem if they have a problem about me.

4:Dont react or think twice to banter - laugh with people. I want achieve this 20 times in a row. If i bite at all, it resets. lost count how many times i havent bit.. so ill reverse it to how many times i DO bite in a week: total 0 so far

5:Find out within me why i take things so personal. Why i fear and hate mistakes..

-Complete Chief's guide to outer game
Expanding on this:
1:Familiarise myself with my AE (Approach Excitement) - have no fear approaching super hot women .
- i have made significant progress on this, however, its not quite no fear yet.

2:Carry out opening, the compliance ladder and conversation without thought or hesitation.
- doing pretty well, so far i dont really think about what to say. or bother with canned stuff. i usually think of something to say after "hi" to follow on with.
However, escalation and compliance ladder i havent really consciously started yet.
This weekend i am meeting up with a number closed girl i met behind a bar, so i will try the sexual frame techniques by gunswitch, and see if i can make it a first meeting first shag event.


3: Understand, apply Sexual SFT without thought or hesitation.

4: Understand, apply Sexual Tension without thought or hesitation.

5: Find and manage my expectations

-Once im familiar and completed with Chiefs Outer game, focus and hone my skills, work towards more ballsy approaches such as shock and awe etc.. get more lays.
-will expand when i get to it.

-Get good a night game:
1:Learn and apply The skills method to club game
2:Learn to dance..

- Reach Top 20 in a Triathlon race (-keen runner/swimmer/cyclist! - keeps me dtoned and fit - but not massive - im 6"4 already!) - Wont waste your time or space writing my program on here, if you want to know more PM me.
-Complete my home Half Marathon in time of 1hr 39min
- training is BAD at the moment, ive stopped for reasons for about 2 weeks.. its so hard to get going again.

Thats is all.

_________________
Limit Nothing. Achieve Everything.
My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html

A few thoughts:

1. As you are probably discovering "Here and Now" is not always easy . . . but it's never too late. Here and Now is ALWAYS happening. So if you catch yourself taking missteps, guess what? It's here and now, here and now. If you ever catch yourself floating away, just take 5 seconds of silence and bring yourself back.

2. Forgetting the past doesn't equal ACCEPTING it.

3. Accepting the past means accepting the present. This means accept EVERYTHING. You are not just an engineer or a tall guy or a goofy guy or a smart guy. You are everything. So welcome your mistakes and missteps just as you welcome your victories in life.

You will see many, many people in this forum advise, "Don't give a fuck! Don't care what they think! Don't give a shit! Don't react to them!" - This is all a disconnect. This is a lie and an act. Although the observable behavior might seem similar, laughing out of insecurities and TELLING yourself over and over that "you don't give a fuck" is utterly different than laughing at the inherent comedy in a girl turning you down at a request for sticking your cock down her throat. One form of laughter is reality based and an acceptance; the other is a forced lie. One is a way to break down barriers between people; the other is a way to raise the barrier even more. Give yourself permission to laugh at your life's comedy.

Regarding Game:

There seems to be a lot going on in your brain; simplify it. When it comes down to it, it's just a conversation with a chick. You don't seem have much problems with striking up a conversation so focus on corralling your conversations towards a close. Have a few date ideas in mind. Get her excited for that 'date'. Get her number. Done.

Don't want to off this topic, but @kasabi. This reply just got me closer to solve that monkey koan I've been trying for quite a while. I will meditate on this.

Besides. @Boyo. What kasabi says is true. Saying you don't give a shit, and acting like it is two very different things.

What is very important right now is you continue paying focus on your goals. As you achieve more and your inner game is getting stronger, it will be a lot easier to pay attention to the present and caring less about the bad things.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

In$inct, Kasabi, very wise words,

I completely agree with everything.. i should change it to accept the past because you cant change it..

With regards to "here and now".. indeed.. of course you always plans some things, im being careful to not go from one extreme to another. You need to plan some things.. career, holiday.. etc..

However, moulding that with a here and now attitude is the way to go. This frame of mind makes talking to a random girl MUCH easier.

"So welcome your mistakes and missteps just as you welcome your victories in life."

Im keeping that one.. If you can do this, you truly will succeed in life, too many people (myself included) feed and work of victories. To be honest..we don't get that many, a success is usually and end objective. We need to welcome every mistake, and think of it is as one inch closer to victory

"You will see many, many people in this forum advise, "Don't give a fuck! Don't care what they think! Don't give a shit! Don't react to them!"
- Again, you hit the nail on the head. You can constantly repeat to yourself "dont give a fuck".. you may feel after a while you dont. I found that its a shell, and at some point it will crack and you'll be back at step one. Truly laughing at her arrogance/ignorance when she says no, and feeling sorry for her blindness is when you know your actually content with yourself.

"There seems to be a lot going on in your brain;"

There is.. ive discovered a new side, new potential, new ways of thinking, im happier, more energetic, im succeeding a lot more, more people are noticing, i have two dates to go too (both im aiming for f closing), Theres still so much to practice and learn.
Perhaps i need another review.. or write down everything in my head, refocus and redirect my energy.
Its suprising how much time you can spend simply planning what im going to do.

Im going to go for a run, clear my head, run through my thoughts. Will post in a bit.

'Till then.

_________________
Limit Nothing. Achieve Everything.
My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html

28th June '12

Ok so here more of a write up catch of how am doing, not just objectives.


saturday night (16th june)

After that night out i had, i got two numbers and 3 full on soaking wet French kisses.

1 girl has text back, i told her straight off, im not looking for anything serious, and she also said the same back! so score there.. i chatted her up a bit, but kept texting to a minimum, every text making sure i flirt, be a bit funny, be myself and most of all make sure its one step closer to meeting at hers.

I pretty much sealed the deal, however, she went on holiday for a week, due back tomorrow (29th) i think.. im still debating whether to let her text me first. We'll see.

Sunday night (24th of june)
Went with my dad, his mates and my mates to the pub, watch the England game.
At half time, i went to the bar to order my round of drinks, and i saw this stunning girl behind the bar (8ish?) we instantly hit it off, i got her laughing and smiling, i chatted to her over the half time, and i grabbed her name before i left, just so i could call her if i wanted more drinks...

i Went back when the game restarted. During the last half...she went round picking up drinks, every time she past, we gave each other a flirty smile. When she wasnt looking at me, she had a miserable (im at work) face. But every time she came by, i stood tall, confidant and looked her straight in the eyes with as much sexual frame as i could muster. She definitely picked it up.

So..we lost on penalty's. Me and the lads drank a bit more to drown our sorrows. (i didnt drink too much in honesty 3 or 4 pints at most), just before we decided to leave, i called her over, i said "sorry, i gotta go, but let me grab your number before i leave".
To which she hesitated.. "how old are you" she asked,
i stared her straight in the eye and fired back "how old are you?"
She replied, 28.
i said (and lied) 25, what's the problems? (with a smile) - look young dont i?
-she laughs and i take that moment to give her my phone.
And score! number closed. Giggedy.

Same method with her.. said im not looking for anything serious. she pretty much said the same, not as bluntly. She was a little more work to arrange a meet up..
she didnt quite like the idea by saying: "so your just looking for a f*ck buddy"

i replied:
"if you want to label it. yea. However. ill meet up with you, at a minimum enjoy a drink. If you dont want to take me back to yours, fair enough.
We can see each other once, and never again, or if you had a good time, we'll do it again.
Im not a typical bloke, thats looking for a shag and runs off. I treat how i like to be treated."
she replies: "haha! fair enough"
- after a little more texting, i manage to really turn her on, and got her to sex text last night, after that she was in the bag. We're meeting up tomorrow so i can i quote "f8ck her brains out on her king size bed".

-this taught me something.. Im no mPUA. far from it. I was just myself. that text i sent was genuine. honest. IF she didnt like it, i wouldnt care and would move on.

I know if i want a tight game, ill need to do better than this. However at the moment, all im doing is working on myself, being myself and its working.
I dont really need all the techniques after all.

So thats it for now.. im sure ill update you how tomorrow goes ;P

till then.

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Limit Nothing. Achieve Everything.
My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html

Wow you're going to progress extremely fast. That is without doubt.

Seems like the alcohol might actually be a good thing for you as well. There's nothing wrong with be slightly drunk if you're getting results.

Great stuff.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
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30th June '12

haha, not so good as you think tweeby =P:

so its 06:15.. yea me too, i am a like wtf? got back last night about 1230 ish.. woke up at 5.
I might sleep when i get this off my mind.

So anyway...i met up with the pub girl last night at 2000. For 30 years old (im 23) she looks 25 and she was stunning. we went too a pair of pubs, i did REALLY well with conversation, escalation, flirting, banter and kino at the first one, sat straight beside her. To be fair, she was really easy to talk to, and a great girl, so she made it less of an interview.
I kissed closed in the car to the next pub.

However..about 11ish.. i started to lose my game, i was getting tired, i had a pint (i was driving), changing pubs and circumstances forced me to sit opposite rather than beside, so i lost physical contact. She's had..5 wines or so, and starts talking about her f*cking dog, i was getting bored, i thought.. right, its now or never, if this keeps going, ill lose her.

I went all out and said to her: "i got 3 questions"
i waited..held eye contact...
She smiles and says.. "go on then"
i say: "are you adventerous?"...
yes...
"are you spontaneous?"...
yes...
"do you like my car?"...
with a massive grin she says, yes, we'll see what happens

So at that moment we leave, i drive to the nearest quiet alleyway, we get kissing and touching, i suggest going to the back of the car, she at first declines.. which was..awkward to try and escalate reaching over the f*cking gear stick.
Anyway i finally manage to get fish fingers, she starts giving me blowy,
she finally submits to going in back, we get there, we foreplay a bit more..

Then.. i flop. Just flop. earlier i was hard from the BJ, it went down a little when i went down on her, when she finally wanted me, i couldnt get him hard..

i though to myself "OH HELL NO!!! - i did not come this far to fail now!"
so i work her with my hand, and also to myself.
I finally get hard, about to jump in, and she reminds of condom (fair enough)
So we spend 2/3 min looking for the damn thing in the dark car, i find it, and i flopped again!
so i repeat..work her, work myself, finally get there, put it on, we have..3/4 min of fast sex, we both come.

After.. i felt embaressed, ridiculous, frustrated and angry. I couldnt get hard, when i did i lasted a pathetic amount of time.

After that...i lose all form of game... i start apologising, i start flapping, i start making excuses when i didnt know why i couldnt get hard. we get changed.. drive back..
the whole way im trying to make an excuse, or tell her why i failed. i knew she was taking it personally and i wanted to let her know it wasn't her but me.
On the way down she says: " i dont want to be big headed..but that hasnt happened to me before"
-i thought GREAT - ive set her new low standard!

Anyway.. i end up digging myself into a massive hole and end up offending her.

That by the way was my first one night stand. All girls before that were relationships.

Thinking about it.. I can put the fail getting hard situation down to a few things..

firstly: I was up at 0500 that morning, worked until 1700, got changed, did some chores round the house, went straight out. I also ran 10k the two previous days.
I was tired.. by 0000, i was excited and turned on.. but tired. I believe this is the biggest reason..

Secondly: The pressure...i put pressure on myself to perform like a stud and last 20,000 hours.

Thirdly: the heat in the car.. i didnt drink a lot that day, so i was dehydrated and from the past two days runs too, i didnt plan the car scenario well enough, and forgot to leave windows open. Thus resulting in me sweating my ass off, dehydrating even more.

Fourthly: like i said.. first time one night stand.

Fifthly: Masturbation could be a factor.. i did it last night, not that day though.

Lastly...is diet a possibility? i had a burger king for tea.. not the best i know.

Maybe im just making excuses for the fact i just didn't perform. Maybe i have an underlying problem with sex. I dont think so.. ive never had a problem before. But i wont exclude it.

However. I am not going to be my previous self of self criticising, hard on myself and putting myself down.

Overall, i think i did well. I obviously did well enough, to have her have sex in car with a guy she met once. So kudos to me!

I did make her come twice. once foreplay. once sex. So yea.. i wasnt her best. Maybe if i didnt put myself down.. or start apologising..gave confidence and made it out like it was awesome, she would follow the frame of mind? - she even apologised for coming so quickly: what does that mean when SHE apologies?

So for the future:
- what do i do if the event occurs i dont get hard again? do i make her come loads of times with foreplay and arrange another day? (if its like last night and not one night stand - i would just leave XD)
-Do i relax, say give me 5/10 min? (-i dont think you can do this one, because the awkward moment comes in and the mood is gone..)

-i know not everyone lasts 30min+ i have sometimes kept going without feeling the need to come, sometimes i blow in a minute. This is impossible to judge how i am going to perform. So there are some actions to take:
A) i have more confidence and be pleased with however long i last.
B) Viagra! - its a fail safe that will allow you to last up to 4 hours supposedly. this will allow every f-close to be awesome, in turn.. boosting my confidence knowing i was the best shag ever. (albeit artificial!)
C) i accept it was my first time one night stand, i learn.. i carry on, it may happen again. Probably. But as i get more experience, it will be less likely to happen. I consider the factors for the future, make it more likely ill do better, in the end though.. theres just to many. I learn to be happy with what i perform then.

So thanks for lisening all, feedback would be greatly appreciated,

Boyo

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My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html