Thanks dude really solid advice again. I did some more day game today - solo this time - so I will post up on this soon.
I know, I try to be human as possible but sometimes rejection just hurts so much it's hard to just jump into that icy cold sea of emotions head first. I've just become sort of numb, tip-toeing in and out of the waters until eventually it seems kind of normal. When you get that positive response it feels like if you get your hopes up too much will set you up for dissapointed. It's cynical, I know, but somehow I've managed to work through that cynical attitude and MAKE it work for me, kinda like how some athletes are terrible sportsmen but brilliant at their sport because they just learned to not give a fuck and carry on soldiering through anyway. I respect the guys that keep their chin up and don't take it too personally, they're better men than I am.

Anyway I can't seem to find the video I was talking about anymore but he was talking about riding your waves of emotions: not being robotic, but not overly naive to the point where you just get crushed by your optimism. Perhaps, his other video provides better insight into dealing with rejection, though:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ATrnl5k_9M[/youtube]

This one too:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbJR_l_RyN8[/youtube]

The other suggestions are pretty useful. The fluff talk and insta-date suggestions are pretty concrete material and might come in handy if I find myself in a similar situation (not unlikely!)

The ginger girl has flaked on me it seems ... either that or she's just very slow at responding. Either way, it seems you're right - I was trying too hard to earn her validation whereas the spiky shoulder joke was all the 'game' I needed. After that I could have just been pretty normal and sincere. I followed up with another text today though:

"Hey whatsup wanna grab another coffee?"

I'm easy come easy go at this point. She can take what I have to offer or leave it. She might interpret my follow up text as neediness but I don't care because I know the place that this offer has come from and it is far more authentic than a lot of girls seem to realise.
Thanks, but my frame did weaken a little regardless, I felt. I tried to stay in the set when I saw the girl I approached might have retained a little interest in my approach. But my follow-up after this outburst was obviously effected by the shit test and I can only blame myself for that.

DAYGAME 02/06/2015

Pleased to do solo day game today, and it wasn't like I went out with the solo purpose of talking to women. I got my hair done (that barber was lethal with the razor, it was like being clawed by a mad dog ... still he did a decent job so I won't complain about a little pain), went to the gym, had something to eat, grabbed a coffee, etc. Daygame was just an incidental 'part' of my day: the only sane and rational way to implement such a hobby. And what's more is, there were no wingmen, just myself and my own inner-confidence to work on. Sure enough, I got another number.

First set, I tried approaching a girl with head phones walking towards me on the high street. I signaled her to take her head phones off but she ignored me and carried on walking. Maybe he thought I was trying to sell something, who knows?

Second set, still on the high set, I saw a hot blonde, tall and with a red and black criss cross shirt. I walked in front of her and stopped her in her tracks. She seemed surprised but a little charmed. I can't remember what I said but she told me she had to meet her friend and that she was in a rush. I tried the 'ok, let's walk and talk' line and she kinda agreed but it felt weak and from a place of insecurity so I stopped walking with her more or less immediately. Next time, I think there needs to be less of a permission seeking vibe, e.g.

"let's walk and talk, and I'm going to punch your number in because you're cute"

rather than,

"oh, well that's ok ... can I just walk along side you for a bit".

The mistake I made was letting her walk first. I just need to be bolder and make sure I lead. That way, even though it is her who said she is in a rush and needs to keep walking, it feels more like SHE is following ME.

I saw the same girl later with her friend and went for a second approach attempt:

"Oh so you're with you're friend now, so you're not in such a rush."

"OMG!"

She laughs,

"Stop following me!"

"Wait nooo, but I looove you"

I wailed after her.

Third approach attempt, I was in the mall and walking out a cafe with a takeaway cup of coffee when I saw a cute girl with her friends. I catch her looking in my direction, so I walk towards her and slightly aloof I say,

"Excuse me"

I have her attention now, so it doesn't matter that this line was a bit weak.

"Where have you been all my life?"

I say, flirtatiously but also authoritatively. This was also quite spontaneous as far as my approach attempts go, since it was only a small window of opportunity between seeing her looking over at me and moving in for the kill.

"OMG!"

She is shy, giggling over towards her friends and avoiding making eye contact. Either she is communicating,

"Look at this weirdo"

or,

"Omg, this guy is so hot what do I do?"

It's hard to say, really. I am looking at her like a wall, so my eyes must be scorching the back of her head, especially as she is sat down and I am standing tall. But it feels quite natural / congruent with who I am, since I am not even trying to force such heavy eye contact. It is almost unintentional in fact and she is looking away almost immediately.

I get her name out of her, and try to maintain escalation but I think I must have came on too strong. I'm quite sure she was interested but it would be useful in future to be able to take the pressure off when need be. Maybe if I'd stepped back, I could have said something like,

"Hey you can look at me, it's ok - I don't bite, honest!"

I wrapped it up quite quickly but I semi-intended to make a second approach attempt if I saw her again. This didn't materialise however.

I saw another girl outside the mall and opened using.

"Hey, you just caught my eye, and I wanted to say hi. You are absolutely adorable"

But I didn't exactly nail the logistics on this one. I came in from too much of a side angle and wasn't able to get her to stop. It's a question of getting her to stop in her tracks but without making her feel too uncomfortable. This can be tricky and on this occasion I was too indirect. I made the second mistake of asking her,

"Are you in a massive rush?"

And she said yeah. So I tried the 'walk and talk' line and tried getting her to punch her number in but to no avail. But still, she seemed flattered that I made the approach attempt.

Finally, I was gonna call it quits when I saw a petite blonde girl walking in my direction on the high street. She had the most adorable braces and seemed like the kinda person that lives with their heads in the cloud most of the time. I made the conscious decision to make this my last approach attempt and when I stopped her I told her that she caught my attention, that I wanted to speak to her and that she was quite adorable. She stopped walking and was pretty damn easy to talk to compared to most girls. I would say that she probably only really stopped because she has an open-minded passive view of the world but I immediately liked her. She wasn't as hot as a lot of the girls I approach (still quite cute all the same!) but I could see straight away that she was a girl of genuine intent, a girl who is very much easy come, easy go. Perhaps someone whose good nature has been taken for granted in the past but somebody who has remained true to her real self, regardless.

I think I make the mistake of putting her on a pedestal because I think that she is probably too good for a guy like me, with such a cynical attitude to women. I want to tell her the effect she has had on me but I don't know how to articulate it and I know it will just sound ingenuine. But I try to tell her anyway - I tell her that she has a positive demeanour - and I try to subcommunicate that this is not a remark I would genuinely pass on most girls.

I tell her that I can't stay for long, that I am about to go grab something to eat (a genuine time constraint to make her feel more at ease with my being there) but that I think she's cool and I'd like to hang out sometime. She agrees to give me her number.

I can't tell if she is going to flake or not though to be honest, like I said she seems to be lost in her own bubble: she smiles absent-mindedly a lot and she is twitching a lot. It is a little worrying actually. I think at first that she has hiccups or something and I'm about to poke fun, when I suddenly think better of it. It felt almost like I could have just told her to come and have lunch with me and that she would have obeyed my command but that isn't what I really want from a woman. She triggers some kind of paternal instinct in me and I want to ask if she is ok but instead refrain and just ask her if she is having a good day so far, so that it will seem like the question is coming from more of a positive place than a place of anxiety. She seems pretty darn intuitive though and seems to understand the motives I am trying to subcommunicate vs my ACTUAL intent every time. Perhaps it's actually me that's freaking out and her that's trying to be the port of call in a storm, who knows.

She says yes, that she's having a good day and that it was lovely to have met me and rightly or wrongly, I don't really believe in 'wait a day before you text', so I send her a text a few minutes later, while I'm having lunch:

"Hey, it's the leather jacket guy from the high street. Just giving you my number, hope you are enjoying the sunshine so far!"

I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't get back to me, all the same. It's been several hours since and like I said, she seems like the kind of girl that gets swept along with every current and lives her life enjoying the flow rather than trying to forge her own direction. This sounds negative but actually I think she is strong for it, because the places that current takes you can be pretty scary at times. I would very much like for her to text me back but she is a tricky one to figure out. At least I can say I got a result of sorts.

OVER-ALL

First set: failed to lead the interaction.
Second set: too direct - failed to create comfort.
Third set: failed to lead the interaction.
Fourth set: put the girl on a pedestal.

edit: here is a post for me to analyse in more detail. and this one.

DAYGAME 03/06/2015

I had many interactions today so no need to note them all down. I lost track of how many numbers I got, just gotta wait and see how many were genuine. But a number is still a result, so I'm feeling positive. I'm going to focus on the success stories and the interactions that stood out today. I won't dwell too much on the failures and any self-analysis will be constructive criticism, i.e. general things that need to be improved on. On a good note, I also managed to secure a date from the girl I approached yesterday. One girl who had a boyfriend gave me her number today just because I charmed her enough and said we could just be friends.

Before I met my wingman, I decided to do some solo daygame: I was around for a good hour and got a number before BT arrived. One number was only nine digits so I didn't count that as a success story. I always open girls with headphones non-verbally: I stand in front of them and gesture for them to take their headphones off.

A few overall things that I need to stop doing:

- getting too close to soon
- making the wrong kind of kino: sometimes when the girl is about to walk off, I try to stop her by doing something like poking her shoulder, telling her to stop, that she's beautiful, that kind of thing. Sometimes I am just pointing at her or going to shake her hand by just taking it rather than offering my own hand. Those are things that I seriously need to cut out.
- permission seeking ... actually this one wasn't too bad today.

However I'm also getting better at a lot of stuff:

- getting the girl to stop what she is doing
- leading the interaction
- logical progression throughout the interaction (stating attraction, through to making an interesting observation, emotional / sexual escalation, screening, non-sexual kino, defusing shit tests, making small talk, using the power of silence to my advantage and finally picking the right moment to ask for the number).
- recognising the importance of screening. Don't be shallow, don't judge a girl by looks alone. Sure, you should approach hot girls - and I should mention that it is ONLY hot girls that I go up to - but if they seem uninteresting or not willing to put in an effort, then they are probably not worth YOUR effort. Say and do things that are interesting or funny to you, and either she will be naturally drawn into your world or not.

I realised a recurring pattern today: after I stop the girl, I have burst her bubble, stated attraction and gathered her interest, I generally ask her something like,

"so, what are you doing?"

And this is when she realises what has happened - that I have stopped her from doing what she was doing and she begins to walk past me to continue with her day.

When I ask her,

"so, what have you been up to?"

It has a different effect, because she becomes less oriented towards the present / immediate future and more focussed on the past. I am the present, and whatever it was she had planned to do is neither here nor there: it is just useful conversation material that can be used to progress the interaction to the next stage.

I noticed a very powerful effect / difference when I re-phrased the question in this way.

Sometimes the girl will tell me what she is up to anyway,

"yeahhhh...I'm in a rush, about to go shopping now."

The thing to do is persist: casually walk forwards, around and in front of her one more time and get her to stop. But without giving off that permission seeking vibe, so it is:

"wait, stop and talk."

Rather than,

"woah, woah but waaaait, I loooove you."

As she fades off into the distance.

Sure, the last one seems like a less socially awkward thing to do and you can give it a playful charm but experience has taught me this comes off as weak and indirect. You need to assert yourself.

Again, if she absolutely insists that she is in a rush, you can say:

"right. ok, walk and talk."

But you HAVE to be dominant. It is the only way, and this is the lesson experience has repeatedly taught me.

I was in a set with BT and the girl I approached told me she had a boyfriend.

"What? No way! You're lying ... what's his favourite colour."

The two girls exchange glances.

"I bet it's white"

Said BT - everything she was wearing was this colour.

I try to put on my boyish charm,

"You know you shouldn't wear white like that. Guys like me, when they are walking over to you, it's like we are blinded."

And I say blinded in an animated way before walking back and spinning around for comic effect. Basically, I'm just clowning around and BT points this out after the set.

Point is: you don't need to be a comedian, like I tried to do in this set. You don't have to put on that boyish flirtatious charm because you think women like it. Just be direct, be authentic ... be yourself. As my style is shifting, more and more I am finding that the only humour I try to convey is deadpan. I don't show the expression, I prefer to just let the girls figure it out for themselves.

I also learned that it isn't true you can't talk to women at work. On the high street today, I chose a charity worker to approach. These guys are dealing with a LOT of the same issues regarding approach anxiety, confidence and dealing with rejection that us PUAs are dealing with. This girl was doing her best to stop people walking past and I had a tip or two in mind regarding body language and logistics but kept them to myself as I moved in.

She turns around and sees me and I say,

"Hey."

I know she is going to try and sell me something, so the first thing I say is,

"I'm not interested in what it is you've got to sell me but I'm here because I want to talk to you."

And I am totally outcome-independent: this is the first time I've tried an approach like this, I just want to see how she reacts. Sure enough, she is interested and we speak for a minute or two, she asks my name and I tell her about it and what the origin of it is. I tell her what my profession is, what my aspirations are and ask a little about herself. I tell her that she has a very confident / positive demeanour that is rare to see in a woman and that I like that. And it is true.

"Naturally,"

She says.

"You have to be like that as a sales person, given the amount of times people just tell you to fuck off."

Something I can relate to.

"...Are you interested in helping out with fund raising?"

And I find this question humorous but I politely refuse, although I do give it a little consideration, mainly because I am simply quite flattered that she would ask.

We speak a little longer as confident, friendly people to one another before she politely tells me she is going to have to get on with her work. I tell her to punch her number in, so that we can organise something. She laughs and tells me I'm cheeky, but she doesn't decline.

There were times when my wing man would tell me quite directly / bluntly what I'm doing wrong and I've learned to just accept the criticism rather than try and rationalise or excuse my mistakes. It is the only way to fully grow from them.

OVERALL

- Being authentic is often times more important than being playful
- Only do kino appropriately, or being too aggressive / too close in terms of body language
- logical progression throughout the interaction (stating attraction, through to making an interesting observation, emotional / sexual escalation, screening, non-sexual kino, defusing shit tests, making small talk, using the power of silence to my advantage and finally picking the right moment to ask for the number).
- recognising the importance of screening.

05/06/2015

Based on today's experience which I will write about below, the way I analyse game will be different: from now on, I won't report on day game / night game. The focus is going to be on the progression from:

- initial statement of attraction
- not demonstrating, but BEING a man of higher value
- sexual escalation (kin aesthetic, visual and emotional)
- logistical transition (location, location, location)
- overcoming last minute resistance to have sex

Non-verbal / verbal directness in stating sexual intent and attraction is crucial. I need to be the man all the way through and totally unapologetic for whatever it is that I want.

I met a girl that I approached the other day in my city. There were positives and negatives to this interaction. On one hand, I am pleased that I was working to a more concrete logistical framework than my last date and that I got the reference experience of bringing a girl back to my apartment. On the other hand, I was freaking out way too much over violating personal boundaries, too much sexual aggression without light hearted humour / charm and the interaction was too cold / logical. I tried to escalate emotionally, but the emotions I was trying to convey were too heavy / austere for the girl to feel secure enough to ride with. I talked and walked very slowly, created lots of pregnant pauses, made heavy eye contact and at multiple points directed the discussion towards values. However it was too much and she became too discomforted.

My logistical outline was to take her on a picnic, first getting her to my place to take the trays and food and stuff outside. The kino was, unfortunately, 'off' from the start. She was a little late arriving and when she approached me, she did so from the side, taking me by surprise. I was originally going to hug her so that we could walk and talk hand in hand to my apartment. But she freaks out when I go to hug her, so I just put my hand on her shoulder instead. We walked and talked a lot of the way and when I got to my place, I said to her,

"I'm just gonna get my stuff."

She seemed slightly edgy, after all she doesn't know what I might be like, so she says.

"Oh, ok ... I'll just wait out here."

"Uh...no problem, I was just wondering if you might be able to help me carry some of the stuff."

"Oh, uh, yeah sure no problem."

I leave the door open for her so she feels secure and she walks in. Then she is standing in the middle of the room, and it feels incredibly sexual, but I am too rigidly focussed on the task - get all the food together, then carry on with the picnic - than I am on HER. For the most part, I am awkwardly avoiding eye contact, and just making fluff talk, really. She can see quite clearly that I am after one thing and one thing only. But then again, I am not exactly trying to hide these intentions, I just want to convey them in a way that is a lot smoother than the way I'm going about it.

Then we carry the food outside and enjoy the picnic in the sunshine. I want to DHV a lot and I try to just let my stories flow out naturally with the interaction but it comes across as too braggy. I am mentally exhausted because I didn't get much sleep last night, so almost everything I say comes across as sexually aggressive, macho and authentic but in a really overly serious tone. I punish her with pregnant pauses if she interjects into what I'm talking about but this isn't even intentional. It's purely coming from a place of fear, tiredness and sexual frustration. I just want to take her hand, lead her back to my appartment and fuck her brains out. Every time I am talking about free weights or martial arts, she is redirecting the convo to outdoor exercise or her work in a charity shop - but we soon end up back where I started, regardless. I just find it hard to balance my yin with her yang, and I get the feeling she is intimidated by me, but I don't want to lose face or frame control by suddenly shifting the conversation to something more lighthearted and flirtatious.

In short I am having a hard time getting that balance between sexual escalation and comfort. And I feel guilty as hell the whole time because I don't want her to feel pressured into anything. I am making the mistake of putting her on a pedestal: she is a precious flower and it is important not to damage the petals. I suggest we watch a 'movie' on my laptop and she defuses this advance by suggesting that it might be nice to go to the cinema instead. We move the stuff from the picnic back inside and I make the suggestion another time but she restates her preference for watching a movie at the cinema. I'm being too creepy.

I'm having a hard time concealing my frustration but I try to remain positive because like I say, I don't WANT her to feel guilty or anything like that. But this is the vibe my non-verbals are giving off. I compensate for this by being a gentleman and walking her back to the original meeting point. This time I make sure to give her a hug as she leaves. I suggest another date and she agrees but she wants it in her city. This is a clear attempt to establish boundaries, so I can't see things getting sexual any time soon but it is good to at least have ONE person I am dating. For this reason, I might consider meeting her again, just for the experience if nothing else. I will try and be more relaxed, more myself if we do. There will be no rigid plan as such, I will just meet her for fun this time. Still, I believe that I could have executed the logistics a lot better to have sex if I was a bit smoother. So I will use this plan for dating more often in future. I will just have to make sure there is more freedom from outcome in the future.

OVERALL:

- workable logistical blue print.
- too rigid sticking to 'the plan'.
- too braggy in DHV.
- failure to lead interaction in a smooth, charismatic and positive manner.
- sexual escalation was not balanced with comfort.
- failure to identify and respond appropriately to discomfort.
- failure to execute overall logistical transitions

Who knows, maybe this is all bullshit: it's possible that I should have just been more verbally or non-verbally direct in my sexual intent, i.e. taken her by the hand and led. Or I could have simply said, "you're sexy, I want to fuck you." One thing is for certain: I need to man the fuck up.

Bro, lighten up! All I see in your analyses are, "failure to do this, failure to do that, I was too this, I was too that". Look at the positives of what you've done as well, look at the progress you've made and be proud of that. You got a girl back, she was comfortable enough to spend that 1 on 1 time with you, that's a big step. Forget the sex and just focus on progress. You want that sex too badly, and she can sense that you're uncomfortable because of that. If you're just happy either way, it'll take all that tension off and allow you to escalate without being too rigid and awkward.

_________________
My Pick-Up Journal

Thanks dude, sometimes I take the whole 'be your own harshest critic' advice too far. The best part of today is, I've learned how fucking easy it is to take a girl back to your place. Next time things will go much smoother, and if not the second time, maybe I will get a third time lucky. Just trying to figure out if I should arrange to meet up this girl again. She said she would prefer to do the date in her city next time which means she is asserting those personal boundaries and would like things to progress on her own terms and conditions. She lives with her family so sex would be a big fat no-no under those circumstances. I've just got to figure out if it is worth pursuing her for a more long-term / indirect approach, or if I should simply move on.

After she went home today I went out and did some cold approaches with SAG. Everything is much smoother now, even though I was so tired all day. I guess those conditions force you to relax a bit. There were literally three girls that I bumped into from before, so this is a weird situation to be in now because my reputation is beginning to precede me. I didn't get any numbers, but one girl insisted I put my number into her phone even though I tried to game her into putting it on my own. I should have persisted harder because now I'm in a weak position where she can call me or not. She even said she wasn't sure if she was gonna, lol.

Relax.

This is good. You got a date from a cold approach, if I understand correctly. That's very good.

Now, she was obviously a bit nervous/uncomfortable. The important thing when dealing with women is that your emotional frame MUST be stronger than hers. If she's uncomfortable, you mustn't allow that to shake you or get you uncomfortable. You should continue to make her feel comfortable by acting NORMALLY and not trying too hard to make her comfortable. Bust her balls, have fun, and just generally enjoy your date. I'm NOT saying to overdo it but remain calm, relaxed, and don't let her uncomfortableness shake your frame. Then she will start feeling more comfortable, and enjoy yourself. You have just done HER a favour by being able to relax and enjoy the interaction!

And what Unfazed said - don't worry about it too much, first times always get a little bit shitty, continue to learn, continue to grow, and don't be too hard on yourself.

Thanks bud, the main problem was that I was too outcome dependent. I mainly just wanted to get the reference experience of bringing her back to my place so that I would know what to do in similar future situations. Next time, things should be a lot smoother since I didn't have much problem getting her back to mine. In fact I'm meeting the same girl later this week, initially she wanted me to come to her city but now she is fine coming over here, so the logistics are more favourable. Hopefully I will be able to relax more, otherwise I still have a few day game numbers to work with.

Well, I might as well post up on night game. I'm finding the shit tests are racking up a lot all of a sudden. I have a stronger frame to deal with them now though.

For example, the first approach I did, the girl said I looked like I was on drugs or something because of how chill I was. For this reason, I stop acknowledging her. Sure enough, she feels guilty and starts trying to make more convo. I probably should have progressed a lot harder with this interaction.

But on other sets I'm trying to get compliance, e.g. on a dance floor set I am trying to engage a 9/10. Her mannerisms and charisma are smooth as shit, these girls can be highly receptive but also take a lot of game: building sexual attraction, moving back and creating comfort and so on. With her heels she is also my height which has it's pros and cons. On the plus side, I can speak to her on the same level and don't have to pull her in / lean over to hear her. On the negative, it's harder to be dominant I pull her in close if she can't hear me. Sometimes I have to create comfort by taking a step back. And occasionally I have to aggress / step forwards to progress with the interaction. Basically the interaction is moving backwards and forwards like this. Then I tell her to show me her dance moves, but she won't do it and insists I have to show her mine. Eventually I cave in to pressure and show her a cheeky little skint, and her friends tell her that I look gay.

"She says you look gay."

She tells me. So I tell her that's a good thing, means I've got style. But she keeps on persisting with this, telling me she's not prejudiced or anything against gays. I tell her being gay is a good reason to speak to hot girls but she doesn't listen, just persists with the 'are you gay' shit test. At one point, I relax in my posture a bit, letting my hips slide to the left and her friend laughs at this. Eventually I get tired and leave. I probably should have busted her balls a bit and demonstrate my readiness to leave earlier than I did. I'm realising more and more that it's just as important to leave a set with presence as it is to enter one. This shows my time / value is scarce, something she is likely to be attracted to.

I see an absolutely stunning girl with dyed red hair and tell her that red is the colour of the devil. She tells me that she's a Christian so I bust her balls on that. She shows me her tattoo on her hip and tells me that she wouldn't have a tattoo like that if she wasn't. Obvious b.s. I look at her tattoo perhaps too closely - it's a sword. I tell her that it's cool we can have a monogamous relationship, get married. She says she's not ready for marriage just yet. I tell her we can chill out a bit while she reads me bible passages. She laughs.

I meet her outside the club again with SAG, and she is with a friend who I worked some dance routine on earlier during the night. One of my wings is trying to chat her up, she blows him off because he can't remember her name, Sophie, but I can remember it because we spoke earlier. She is just like, "oh you've been listening." I bust her balls:

"Sure, what can I say, I'm a good listener, like, hey what's your name? Oh Sophie? That's a nice name, Sophie. Tell me more about yourself, Sophie."

SAG is dominating this interaction, but I'm more involved than the other wingmen so it's alright.

Later on, SAG wants to show me a dancefloor move, so he goes over to a pretty blonde and tells her to give her his left hand. I quickly say, "SAG's gonna show me his sexy dancefloor technique" because I don't want to get sidelined into getting puppy trained. She doesn't want to give him her hand but he blags his way through the interaction. He tries to justify a lot though, like he will explain the reason he wanted to take her hand as being, "oh, I just wanted to show JHA91 this dance move", rather than saying something like, "I'm taking your hand because you're sexy" or something.

The girl to my right is way older and not my type at all, but she keeps shooting me glances as if to suggest I'm the nice guy or something. I just kinda out-stare her and act like she's right. They start to get pissed off at SAG, although I can't really hear what they're talking about, they tell him that he's just after sex. He insists it's not true, he just wanted to demonstrate this dance move to me, then I say,

"Yeah, I'm not interested in random club girls either. You've got to wine and dine me first."

And they are charmed, even though they can see it's B.S. I'm not even trying to capitalise on his errors or anything, it just kinda happens that I say this shit. After a bit the girl to my right threatens to punch him in the face she is laughing when she says this but I can see she's dead serious and my frame starts to wobble a bit while SAG is trying to rationalise his way out of this. But eventually the set walk away, in spite of SAG's persistence.

In the club, I am with a girl in blue and SAG distracts her friend. I am trying to use a dance routine where I spin her round and sweep her off the floor. But I'm too scared to just go in for the kill, so every time I go to sweep her off the floor, she's freaking out and I stop. But I keep her attention, using push-pull. We are talking random stuff and I keep putting her arm round my head and back off. Walking closer and moving away, etc., etc.

I tell her things like,

"Come on, it's cool, I'm a nice guy."

I love saying this because it's total b.s. Just lying in general is fun. I try to sweep her off the floor again and she freaks out. Then some random guy interjects and I think it's going to be her alpha male boyfriend or something but it's just some smiley nervey older bloke, and he says something like,

"Oh, oh, I've been watching you and, and uh, uh... nice job and all but uh..."

Then I suddenly get pissed off and I'm just like,

"Sorry mate, what do you want? Do I know you?"

And he ejects:

"Oh, oh, no ... no ... I'm just, uh, uh ..."

Then I turn my attention back to the girl I'm with. This interjection actually works to my favour because I was about to fuck off, and I can continue with escalation. She asks me who he was, I just say,

"Oh I don't know him, he was just some random guy interrupting in our conversation, he wasn't welcome."

"Well, he's gone now."

She replies. I keep moving back and forth with her, I don't try and sweep her off the ground again, but eventually I say something to fuck up the interaction with the girl I'm gaming and SAG does this with his girl at the same time and the girls exchange glances and say,

"Let's go get drinks."

Anyways there's a ton of other interactions, but hard to analyse in more detail without being able to remember what happened exactly.

DAYGAME 08/06/2015

Today was so-so. Didn't get any numbers although I did come close. Met up with SAG and another two wings that I've met before: SF (sixth form), & ZG (zen guy). I call ZG that because he is so totally calm and collected. SF is still at school but he is 18 and in his last year of sixth form so it's cool. I want to tell him to stop wearing the rain proof coat he wears but I'm not rude enough, lol. BT has been out of the picture for a while, but then I hang around with him so often it's good to meet up with other wings just for my own sanity since the guy is just so fucking alpha and aggressive, lol.

SAG was late arriving so I did some cold approaches with SF and ZG. Something I'm realising more and more is just how dependent a lot of these girls seem to be on validation from their friends.

One of the first sets I approached the girls were all in their leather jackets strutting around like they own the place. They are walking in my direction but there are too many people in the way to approach so I have to change direction and avoid a few people before I walk over. As I turn around to state attraction, I say,

"Hey. I just wanted to stop you to say hi."

Her friends are quite loud and aggressive. They start balking and walking away and the girl I approached is about to follow them, so I make a follow-up.

"Wait ... stop ... stop ... stop."

All of a sudden her friends change their mind.

"Well stop and talk to him!"

She looks really confused at this point, like she doesn't know what to do. Of course to me, this is simple: stop and talk if you are interested, walk away if not. Do not rely on friends for validation.

"I just wanted to stop you to say hi. What's your name?"

She tells me her name, so I ask her to tell me something interesting about herself. She is hesitant and it is like she is looking to her friends for the answer to this question. At this point something really weird happens, I know that I could physically drive the interaction forwards and get her number but there is something psychologically preventing me from doing it and I'm not sure what:

- fear
- repulsion (because she is just a little girl relying on her friends for validation)
- my ego within me doesn't want me to be successful

For whatever reason I quit at the last hurdle and walk away. Her friends are shouting at me to get her number but it just doesn't have any impact. I can't psychologically progress with the interaction. I don't even feel nervous, I am quite calm and collected. I either simply can't or don't want to move forwards.

I experienced the other side of this phenomena when I approached a girl in the mall. She was with her friends and about to part ways when I came over to stop her. Her friends begin with,

"Omg, don't talk to this loser"

Shit / compliance test. But I can see this girl is a bit more firmly rooted in her own reality, i.e. she makes her own decisions. However it seems like she is going to reject me anyway. I ask her if she is some kind of professional - an entrepeneur or something - just because I am curious how she is able to adopt this demeanour. But the way I say it comes across like a cliched question or something and her friend drags her away, saying something like,

"Yeah, she's got a boyfriend. I don't think he would like you too much."

I am talking with SF and ZG later and they ask me what my sticking point is. I've been asked this question a lot and to be honest I don't really know. I've always had an uphill battle with the verbal element of game - i.e. making interesting conversation - but PUAs always seem to look down on this kind of response to the "what's your sticking point" question. So I tell them my problem is with persistence, e.g. I don't tend to approach the same set a second or a third time and I don't always drive forwards just as it seems a girl seems to be getting interested in me (like the first set that I described).

SAG comes later and he does fewer approaches but he always keeps the girl in the set longer than me. ZG suggests a three set that I can approach and he will wing me for. I move in to tap the girl on the shoulder when I suddenly realise I spoke to the same girl earlier,

"OMG, it's you!"

I say, and I walk off. Then ZG reprimands me.

"She was going to stop for you this time."

He says.

This is a prime example of how persistence - i.e. moving forwards with an interaction beyond logical / emotional barriers - is a sticking point for me.

Me and ZG engage a different two-set. ZG moves in first and then I interact with the girl who is to the left of the girl ZG is gaming. I try standing slightly to her left to divert her attention away from ZG and her friend but this isn't having much effect. I can't remember what I do next but I kind of lean forwards into her zone and then take a step back. ZG reminds me that I did this later and tells me that it had a positive effect at the time.

ZG asks the girl he's talking to where she comes from and I am asking my girl a different question but she ignores me to answer ZG's question (not directed at her). At this point I tell her to answer the question I just asked her - to tell me something interesting about herself. She hesitates with her response, so I tell her a few interesting things about me. Then ask her to think but her answer is really boring - she studies geology. I try to create a positive vibe and see the interesting side to most of the questions she is asking me but I am just getting absolutely zero effort.

ZG's girl is basically the same and neither of us get the numbers, but ZG is making more statements than questions which is what I should be doing.

I didn't really like the energy or vibe I got from this girl but nonetheless, the failure of the interaction is always on me, the PUA. To summarise:

- failure to snap her out of her bubble
- failure to assume the burden of the interaction (trying to hard / too soon to get her to qualify HERself

Later we are with SAG, I see a set approaching and I am trying to consider whether or not to approach, then I see another set that also looks approachable and in the end I decide not to. When SAG asks about my hesitance, I simply tell him I pussied out because it is better to say this than to look for rationalisations. However, his perspective is that there were too many available alternatives clouding my judgement. This is perfectly possible.

OVERALL

- Persistence is key.
- Need to overcome own psychological barriers and false illusions for not making an approach or persisting with an interaction.

DAYGAME 09/06/2015

Was going to meet BT today but he had other plans. I was in town just chilling drinking a fruit smoothie when ZG comes over to me with a wing I'd only met briefly before - SH (shaven head). Taking me by surprise, he says,

"Hey, I just had to stop you and say hi. You look kinda cute."

I was literally in hysterics.

I agree to do day game with him and we are talking for ages. He is talking about how he meditates and stuff, so I guess zen guy is a fitting nick name for him. Throughout the day, SF comes along, SAG joins us briefly and two other wings I hadn't met before - SS (stripy shirt) and DJ (denim jacket). I have this odd moment with DJ where we shake hands and we both go to hold hands as long as possible. I eventually let go, but he is funny as shit so I let him off with it. I make a pretty decent approach when SS arrives where I get the girl to stop in her tracks and persist a little.

"Nice."

Says SS, then fucking with me a little, he goes on to say,

"How old was she ... 12?"

She wasn't that young, honest

Although I do get that problem sometimes, heh ...

I did so many fucking approaches I lost count but it's always easier when you're surrounded by a pack of wolves who've read all the same mind manipulation and psychology of body language shit that you've read.

On that note, I should probably actually READ more stuff like this than just skim reading books / articles and watching youtube vids.

DJ reminds me of the Juggler from the Game although - shock, horror - he hasn't read the book. I love the guy, we are talking for fucking hours and he tells me all this stuff about bioenergetics, taoism and philosophy of pick-up. When BT leaves in a few months, I think I want this guy as my replacement wingman.

I was in quite a long set today, as I approached two girls (Swedish) by the fountain. I can't even remember what I was talking about for the most part but they were pretty receptive to talking to me. She kept busting my balls for talking to strangers, she said,

"Do you always talk to Swedish girls on a sunny day out?"

I told her I always stop and talk to hot girls when I see one. Then I talk about some pseudo-Zen philosophy about how you've always got to seize the moment when life throws an opportunity in your face.

"Of course, of course."

She is almost mesmorised by what I'm talking about but there is that casual element of disinterest. I'm a minute or two in to the set and I'm enjoying this a little too much not because the conversation intrigues me that much, just because most of my sets barely last 10 seconds. I try to get her number but she starts hesitating,

"I don't know should I give my phone to you? You are a stranger!"

"Yes, do it. Just put it in. Put it in."

I command.

She starts dialling the numbers in, then she hesitates again and asks me for my facebook instead, she says it is more personal because she can see a picture of me or whatever.

I can't really be bothered with games at this point, so I turn to her friend who is hotter.

"You, put your number in."

She is too coy to my manipulation tactics.

I walk off, and the original girl is still trying to explain why she wants my facebook addy, but I just ignore her and she calls me a dick.

I just love it when girls call me a dick / arsehole / whatever. I don't think they realise quite how much it rubs off on my ego

I stop so many sets today it's not even worth talking about. If I see girls with headphones I walk over to them and gesture with my hands for them to take the headphones off. It works a treat every time, and the power rush from getting a girl to stop in her tracks and talk to you is phenomenal.

I did this to one girl, then I said something like,

"excuse me."

Which I have learned is a weak way to open. She looks like she is about to move, so I just say,

"Wait."

And she stops.

It's a powerful feeling.

OVERALL:

A few logistical / body language issues, still.
- I tend to point at the girl sometimes, especially when I want her to stop.
- Sometimes I spread my legs too wide when I am trying to move into a set from the side.
- Vocal projection could still be better, (this was part of the reason DJ suggested bioenergetics).

More frequent approaching and less hesitation in approaching.

DAYGAME 10/06/2015

I was a bit hazy in the details yesterday since I didn't post up until an hour or two after daygame. Plus I was out for ages, so too many approaches to remember accurately. Today, however, I should be able to provide a sharper analysis, since I was out with BT not long ago.

So, some bad sets and good sets as per usual, really. Often with the bad sets, I'm the one that gets repulsed by the personality of the girl. With the good sets, it's usually a shame if I can't end with their number but that's usually my fault for being too outcome dependent -

"hi, I know I've only known you for 30 seconds, but can I get your number?"

One girl I spoke to said she was gay. I just thought it was hilarious and asked if I could get her number anyway just to friendzone her, lol.

One girl, walking quite quickly, barely acknowledged me and BT reprimanded me for not walking with her.

"She was obviously in a rush: I wouldn't stop for you if I was in a rush like that."

I learned from this mistake and the next girl I tried to stop that said she was in a rush, I responded to with,

"Ok, walk and talk."

This turned a few heads as per usual, haha, but I didn't really care. Since she was walking into the mall, I walked forwards and held the door open for her.

ME: So what do you do?
HER: I'm a financial accountant.
ME: Ah, so is that where you're off to now?
(awkward way of phrasing the question)
HER: ... Uh, yeah, I'm going to a meeting.
ME: Ok. Tell me something interesting about yourself.
(this is my screening test to see just how bland or spontaneous the girl I'm talking to is.
HER: Ok! Well, I do skydiving, bungee jumping and kite flying.
(she passes the test. On the other hand I might just be overly impressed because of all the reluctance to respond most girls will give you.)
ME (impressed): ...Well! Ok, I'm into surfing, snowboarding and windsurfing. So there isn't that vertigo element but I'd definitely be willing to jump off something high one day.

My mind draws a blank for the remainder of the conversation which is short since she is in such a rush.

ME: Ok...so since you're in such a rush, I don't want to keep you to long. But can I ask quickly, you seem like a cool person, and it would be interesting to get to know you on a deeper level one day ...

(I whip out my phone)

ME: ... so just punch your number in and I can text you - date, time and location.

She laughs

HER: Smooth move! I would love to but I have a boyfriend.
ME: Nooo. There's no way.

This is just like a gut reaction now.

HER: Hand on heart, honest to god I do.

I say something half-hearted and inside I am ejecting sheepishly even though I try to look purposeful whenever I walk away from a set. The ones I like are always taken. Either that or it's some complicated shit test (if I am to trust all the PUA literature) that I have no way of defusing because I'm just too much of a nice guy to REALLY be willing to ago for the cuckold. I mean, I try boyfriend tactics (just read through this journal) but my heart just isn't really in it. When she says that, I just want to walk away, if truth be known. I've never really been cut out to be a true PUA.

Inside the mall, I get a girl to stop and take her headphones out. I tell her she doesn't need to shop for any more accessories, she looks fine the way she is. She tells me she's getting shoes.

ME: Oh so you must have a whole wardrobe full of them, I bet.
HER: Actually, uh ... no.

Then I go into this long spiel about all the shoes I have in my wardrobe. I'm talking total shit. BT comes up behind me and tells me to meet him in HMV. What I hear instead is,

"Don't give her a lecture."

Which would have probably been good advice, haha.

ME: Yeah, that's my friend, he just can't take me anywhere.
HER: I bet.
ME: Anyway, look, I have to get going now ...
HER: ... Yeah you probably should ...
ME: ... but I was just wondering if I could get your number hang out some time.

Ok, probably being a bit to nice in this set. But persistence is good, I guess. She ejects from the set.

I can't tell if I'm genuinely accepting the negative emotions from all of this rejection and that is why it doesn't seem to bother me much any more ... or if it is all contributing to some colossal ball of pain that's kind of been ignored and just numbed down. If it's the latter, I can't say I'm really looking forwards to experiencing it's full manifestation. Why are girls so mean? People keep saying, that

"Oh, it's just a defence mechanism."

And,

"Oh, they just want to be wooed."

Or whatever, but I just can't relate to or understand things from their point of view anymore. I mean, I can understand some of the anti-slut barriers and logical reasons that they have for acting the way they do, but their mindset is simply not something I can process or empathise with on a deeper level. The only thing I can understand is my own experience of rejection and pain from this and it is probably the main thing preventing me from getting the results I want. Even if I do become successful at some point in the future, I don't know if I will ever truly be able to see women in a more positive light.

Anyway, this is just me going on a typical negative spiel. I guess I just have more shit to get off my chest. Which is weird, because today was a relatively good day for pick-up and I generally enjoy being around BT, so can't understand where this tension is coming from. I guess it's a good thing to just blow some steam out once in a while.

On a slightly unrelated note, I had a weird dream last night where I approached a girl with her mother at the mall and they told me to fuck off. Then I went to my parents' house and my mum asked me to drive a car to drop something off to a friends house and then walk the dog around the park. This is in spite of the fact I can barely work the gears on a car.

I end up driving on a busy road and when I get near the traffic lights, I pull in front of some learner scooter drivers. I'm freaking out big time because I can barely handle the steering and the scooter drivers start revving their engine, beeping their horn and as they drive past, they are shouting at me,

"Hey, take it easy, we're learners - see, look at the L plate."

And I'm just thinking,

Yeah, I'm a learner too, I just can't tell you about it because I'm not carrying an L plate and it's actually illegal for me to drive my car like this.

It's a really weird dream, but when I wake up, I realise how close the truth of most of it is to my pick-up rendezvous. The pick-up community has basically taken over my social circle (well I didn't really have much of a social circle since I graduated from uni anyway) and now, it's almost become part of my life to approach women left, right and centre in crowded / public venues. Because I'm inexperienced with women in general, inside I'm freaking out but at times, it feels like I have to play things out like I'm this smooth, charismatic player when nothing could be more alien from the truth. It is literally like trying to drive on a busy road with arseholes beeping their horn at me behind, and I'm totally freaking out because I'm getting ready to take a step into the wild and drive down the motorway (i.e. have sex - it can't be too far around the corner now). Will I survive the ordeal, or will I totally crash and burn? What's my subconscious trying to tell me? Just quit before someone gets freaked out and tries to mace me, most likely.

Well, I'm getting towards the end of my journal now, so I'll have the opportunity to take a step back and analyse where I'm going with things in my life and if I truly want to continue with pick-up. There can't be much more negativity to work my way through. And I am sure that if I survive it, I will come out a more positive person, hopefully. Slightly scarred by my experiences with women, no doubt, but an optimistic go-getter that persists through emotional and logical barriers even when progress is slow. It was all worth it for the self-improvement element if nothing else.

So this girl texted me a few days later saying that actually she would be ok meeting in my own city after all. There was almost a pang of guilt in that text. Whatever the case, I was kinda glad she was willing to meet up once more and I decided I wouldn't try to push the boundaries too hard this time.

DATE 11/06/2015

I arranged to meet a wingman for three hours after my date. I figured three hours would be longer than I needed. Wrong.

When I met her at the train station, I went over to hug her. It was a little awkward because she wanted to start walking straight away. She's a cute girl but quite nervey / twitchy in general actually. I have to be extra sensitive to make her feel comfortable and I'm not claiming to be smooth or anything. It's not easy.

Since she came to my city, I had thought earlier, she might be more receptive to coming back to my place. I decided that, based on last time, though I wouldn't push for it. If she hints that she would like to escalate the interaction, I will suggest we come back to mine to cook something. But that is plan b, plan a is to just get a coffee and go on a normal date.

Yeah, I overthink things, I know.

When I arrive she is already holding a coffee in her hand which means there's basically no venue we can go to until she drinks up.

I can already smell those onions I bought for a cooking date yesterday frying on the stove.

I ask her what she wants to do and she says she is just happy to walk around. I ask her if she wants to cook spaghetti bologneise around mine - just can't help it - and she agrees.

It's like I've just thrown any honest intentions I had prior to the date out the window.

We are chatting and I'm doing most of the talking. This sounds bad and for 99% guys it is. But I'm usually so bad at thinking 'what to say', so those times I'm spitting the words out are valuable for me. Besides I'm still asking her questions about herself and trying to relate my interests to hers. It's not as if I'm being socially retarded like the last time and talking about martial arts and shit.

While we are walking to my place I buy a coffee myself.

Suddenly we have this weird awkward silence. I don't really get intimidated by these like I used to but it's kind of weird all of a sudden and then its like she suddenly feels uncomfortable walking back to my place and she suggests we sit down to finish our coffees.

Ok, cool. I can slow things down. I just ask myself what my intentions were before the date: take things steady and don't push for sex if she doesn't want it.

We talk for a bit, then I suggest we go take a look around the art gallery that we happen to be sat opposite. It's free, after all. So she finishes up her coffee and we walk around a bit. I usually hate art galleries but I'm determined to find something that will interest me. She uses the ladies while I have a flick around. She has a quick look herself but all of a sudden she wants to leave. I'm thinking that she means go to a different gallery though, and so she comes with me.

My interests are lit up when I see the bayonets and world war one weapons and I go over to look closer, when I suddenly realise this isn't something she would be interested in. For this reason, I say,

"Yeah ... it's dreadful how all these young men were pressurised by society into conscripting during the war."

She agrees. Then we go and look around the clay pots. Eventually I get the vibe that she is ready to leave - I've built her comfort levels back up already. I wait for her to make that suggestion, though. We go, and leave back for my place after the casual detour. For the most part, I am able to keep the conversation going although it's something of an endurance task, I won't lie.

When we get back, I get my laptop out for some music. I want to put on dubstep, but I can see it's not really her thing, so I put on Bob Dylan for a bit, while she sits down.

Now I have a choice:

- move forwards with sexual escalation, e.g. sit down next to her, show her something on my laptop. forget about the fucking spaghetti bologneise.
- go ahead and cook the spaghetti bologneise and try to progress from there with indirect escalation.

What do I do?

- go ahead and start preparing the spaghetti bologneise like a fucking shy pussy.

Actually, I don't think it's because I'm shy I do this. I think it's just because when I get my head stuck in a task I have to move forwards with it, like some obsessive compulsive fruitloop. In other words, I'm making the same mistake as last time: being too rigid with the logistical blue print. It's just a fucking blue print after all.

There is also this persisting idea in my head that "women need to be wined and dined". It's that socialised attitude that tells us women give us sex out of a sense of obligation and is antagonistic to our animalistic intuition that women simply enjoy sex and there is no need to beat around the bush in this way. If there is one grand mistake throughout the escalation it is my own failure to stick to the gunwitch method like. fucking. glue.

In any case, I get her chopping the onions, while I prepare some of the ingredients.

I'm multi-tasking like crazy: trying to prepare the food, move things around in my cramped apartment to create space and trying to fix my lousy speakers to play some good music. I think she's somewhat impressed by my efficiency, but the overall vibe is way to value seeking. In other words, it's like I'm putting her on a pedestal, and doing all of this stuff just to get validation from her. The whole time, I have the washing machine on: it's like the racket of that thing is reflecting what's going through my own head.

Eventually the food's ready and I get the tray out for her to eat on. Even then, though, I'm still moving around like a jack ass. The tray is too wobbly, so I move a table in front of her, then I am making tea, then I am having a second look at the music speakers, then I play a tune for her on the piano.

Tiring. Eventually I sit down with her. Even then I have to readjust the bed. The blanket is folded up. I chuck it across the room. It knocks my chair over.

What a fucking idiot.

I suggest we watch a movie, and I start browsing through tons of dodgy streaming sites to find the movie. It's two hours long. We have the laptop in the middle of us. Logistical nightmare for kino.

I end up texting my wingman to call our meet off, because of how time consuming this date is. Not that I'm complaining. The washing machine stops. THANK. GOD.

Occasionally through the movie, I'm trying to make a few sly glances at her: e.g. I make a few comments / observations on the movie and then try to catch her eye. It just comes across as kinda creepy. She is sat near the window, so I ask her if she wouldn't mind closing the curtains because I feel we need that extra privacy. She is about to do it, but then she catches onto my plan and says something like,

"Oh actually, I don't know because then it would be too dark in here."

During the movie, I've make a few subtle moves to get a bit closer and get some eye contact. For example, the way she is sitting is kinda balled up. I suggest she kicks her feet up just so that she will feel more comfortable and I proceed to pull the table over. She doesn't want to though, so after a while, I ball up myself, to mimic her body language. Then, when it feels natural to me, I kick my feet back up, hoping she will do the same. She does but then I fuck it up because I try to pull the table under her for a foot rest so she balls up again and edges away from me.

I get up to make tea and ask her if she wants any, she says yes. When I look inside the ketttle there is only one cup left which is kind of awkward, but I don't mention it and give her the last cup anyway. The way I see it, this is how I would treat a guest but it's possible that this is another instance of putting her on a pedestal.

It occurs to me that she's actually on the other side of the bed at one point. She either wants me to be more direct or she wants to put off sex (anti-slut mechanism). Either way, I'm being too sleazy ... this shit is hard.

An hour into the movie, she suddenly asks how much longer we have to go. She's fed up of my grossly indirect advances. I know she is thinking of ejecting but I'm not going to push her to stay, so I tell her the truth: another hour. She says she has to go get the train.

"Ok, cool."

I say. I'm trying to keep a relaxed / non-needy frame. She is quick to get up, I just keep my cool and lie back. I let a deep breath out just as she looks around and I think there must have been a look of frustration / tiredness on me because she asks me directions to the train station, thinking that I'm going to be an arsehole about not having sex.

"It's no problem, I'll walk you there."

I tell her.

On the way, I want to link arms, just because I've been kinda awkward on the physical escalation so far and I want to build up that comfort - show her that I'm not bothered we didn't have sex. I hold her arm, smile and say,

"Hey, this sounds kinda crazy but let's put our arms through."

She looks freaked out...Smooth (or not).

I walk her back to the train station. A few awkward silences. When we get there I want to take her somewhere away from all the people walking past for a hug or something but she takes the most direct route into the station and waves me good bye.

SUMMARY/ANALYSIS:

I am somewhat sad / dismayed that she feels this awkward around me. I can only blame myself, because at the end of the day, it is me as the man that is trying to convey sexual intent. The burden is on me to make sure comfort and sexual escalation are balanced, and it is my duty to calibrate effectively so that the woman does not feel uncomfortable being around me and so that boundaries are clearly established and not violated. It's also my responsibility to be direct about my sexual intent (non-verbal / verbal) and much smoother in the way that I act on this (through calibrating the balance between comfort and sexual attraction).

However, I'm glad for the reference experience. She's been the only girl so far to come back to my place from a cold approach. I didn't have time to suggest another date as she walked more or less straight off. Last time she said we could meet up only if it was in her city because of the boundaries I tried to push past last time. I thought then that I'd fucked up and would have to persist over a longer period of time. In other words, make her my girlfriend or something. I was feeling bad and going to call it quits, so I was surprised when she texted me again suggesting that we could meet up near where I live.

But I don't think she will text me again and here is why: because I'm expecting it. I think that when we have these expectations and plans about what's going to happen, we say or do something to jinx it. For example, I'd planned to give her a goodbye hug but she was already walking away before I got to that stage because she could sense that my intent was to build that comfort. This time, part of me is expecting her to send me another text saying,

"Hey, we can meet up again, what would you like to do?"

And I will suggest that we watch the rest of that movie. But it isn't likely because reality never pans out that way. On the other hand, I could send HER a text suggesting we meet up again. But then it is possible I will just come across as too persistent and aggressive and scare her away.

I feel like the only thing I can do is ride the storm out and give her the breathing space to make her own mind up. If she wants to meet up again, she will know exactly what my intent is and where I will try to lead her. If she doesn't, then I will have to accept that and move on to the next girl.

IMPROVEMENTS:

Here was how I felt about the last time we had a date and underneath each bullet point, I have commented on whether I felt the situation was the same this time.

- workable logistical blue print.

Logistics were good again this time. I wasn't originally going to get her back to my place but I had that as an option on the table which I eventually capitalised on.

- too rigid sticking to 'the plan'.

Possible too rigid again, since I was determined to make the food, for example when she was comfortable with just sitting down and chilling. On the other hand, my plan was more flexible this time, e.g. I was willing to just have a coffee with her.

- too braggy in DHV.

I didn't talk about the kind of stuff I thought she wouldn't be interested in this time.

- failure to lead interaction in a smooth, charismatic and positive manner.

I felt more positive, since I had better sleep this time. Also willing to communicate to her non-verbally that it wasn't a big deal we didn't have sex. This might not have come across though. Could have been smoother in the sexual escalation.

- sexual escalation was not balanced with comfort.

She looked uncomfortable at some points during the interaction and I tried to respond to this with indirect advances but this just came across as sleazy.

- failure to identify and respond appropriately to discomfort.

See above.

- failure to execute overall logistical transitions

Actually most of the logistical transitions were there. I mean, I had her in my bed! I guess, the problem was that they were somewhat contrived / forced and I was too desperate for sex to happen.

DAYGAME 12/06/2015

I wasn't exactly planning on doing day game today but I was in town anyway so I figured, why not. I've had loads of advice about posture, approaching girls in a particular manner to stop them walking, being assertive, saying "hey" not excuse me, etc., etc. Today, I just wanted to approach in a manner that was more congruent with my own personality and go over to girls that seemed more receptive to communication.

The first girl I approached I just said "I like your hair" (it was dyed red), she said thanks and walked away because she didn't want to hear anything else.

The second girl, I was about to walk past when I sensed something about her presence.

ME: Hey can I get a bite of that?

She was eating a breakfast bar

HER (misunderstanding me): Oh, I got it from Holland and Barrets

She's not English.

ME (chuckling): No, it's just a joke ... I just saw you and had to come say hi.

HER: Oh, hi.

ME: What are you upto?

HER: Oh, just shopping you?

ME: Same.

I ask her where she's from and she says Sweden. I can't remember what else we talk about but I use a Julien Blanc technique where he puts the phone down low, kinda secretively so that she doesn't seem like a slut in front of everyone else for putting the number in.

Err...it comes across a bit clumsy the way I do it and there's not really any need because she's not with her friends or anything. There is just a random man nearby sat down on a bench. She puts her number in any way and I ask her if she's got Facebook because the number is Swedish. She gives me her addy.

The third time I do it, I see two girls in a cue next to a doughnut stand. This is still in the mall. I walk over in their proximity and kinda awkwardly wait for a pause in their conversation then tap the nearest one on her shoulder. She turns around and I tell her she has the most adorable back pack - it is red and white, kinda like Dennis the Menace. But I don't say this.

HER: Oh, thanks!
ME: So what have you been upto?
HER: Oh just shopping, you?
ME: Just drinking my fruit smoothie

I am standing there with my fruit smoothie


HER: Oh, haha yeah.
ME: So what doughnut are you gonna get? Are you more of a jam doughnut girl or do you prefer chocolate doughnuts?
HER: Uh...I think I'm gonna go with chocolate
ME: Oh, cool. Yeah I guess I'd choose chocolate as well. Although I personally prefer the doughnuts without the gap in the middle and jam inside. Then you can just put them in the microwave and you get the hot jam.
HER (relaxed smirk): Nice.
ME: Awesome, listen I've got to shoot off soon but it's been nice talking to you and you seem cool -
HER: It's been nice to meet you.

Ok, I think this is a subtle form of rejection but I feel I need to push through to get a more definite no anyway.

ME: ...and, uh ... it would be nice to get your number so we could, uh... meet up sometime.
HER: Oh, no ... sorry, I'm kinda seeing someone at this point.
ME: Oh, ok ... no problem.

It just occurs to me at this point that her friends who hasn't said anything yet has been giving me the eye. I look over in her direction to make sure and it seems like she is being flirtatious. However, I'm not feeling brash / cheeky enough to ask her for her number AS WELL as her friend. So I politely eject.

I talk to a few other girls, but these were the main approach attempts that were worth discussing.

OVERALL:

Not much point analysing today from a game / PUA perspective, because I was trying to avoid using any techniques. If I watched it from a video, I would notice about a dozen things wrong from this point of view. But I was just trying to be low key and non-invasive because it's hard constantly throwing yourself in the deep end with cold approaches.

DAY GAME 13/06/2015

Did 6 approaches today ... and I'm doing night game later, so tonight will be my last field report in this journal. It's been fun though.

It's funny how I don't even remember these approaches anymore. They are becoming more and more second nature. At the start of the journal, I would remember every word, more or less, just because I was so wrapped up in my own introverted reality and over-analysing every interaction.

When I do solo approaches now I walk around looking for girls that I don't think are gonna bite my head off. I'm more aggressively persistent when with my wings but that's mainly because of the group dynamics.
Today, I go to the usual mall that has become my most common hunting ground . I see a cute girl in baby blue stripy top and jeans. I'm about to pass her by, but then I get the sudden inclination to stop pussying out.

ME: How long have you been waiting?
HER: Uh...5 minutes...
ME: ...for the right guy to just come along and sweep you off your feet?
HER: Oh ... uh ... heh. I'm just waiting for my friend.
ME (small step back): Cool. What's your name?
HER: XYZ
ME: Oh, nice to meet you, XYZ. I'm JHA91. Listen, XYZ, you just caught my eye and I had to come over to meet you: there's something about you that is interesting.
HER: What's interesting.
ME: I was going to ask you!
HER: ...
ME: I guess something about ... your top ...
HER: ...
ME: ... that blue ... yeah, and your jeans too ... blue. It's interesting that you have matched your colours. Most girls wouldn't ...
HER: ...
ME: Most girls wouldn't take the time to put that kind of thought in to their appearance.

this part is obvious b.s.

HER: Oh right, well, thank you.
ME: Ok. Well, it is obvious that you are not impressed so, uh ... have a nice day.

Ok, not so smooth. I walk around the mall a bit and grab a smoothie, 5 minutes later, I'm walking past a massive commotion involving security guards. There's a crowd of onlookers, but I'm not really the gawky type so I just walk past all of the commotion and nearly walk straight into a pool of blood: there's been a fight and somebody has had a nosebleed in that spot.

A few yards ahead, I see two cute girls in black and there is a delay again in my approach attempt. I kinda see them, decide not to approach and then after reflection suddenly decide to approach again.

I don't try to stop them in their tracks like I know a good salesman would. It's because I'm kinda bad at it. So I just change direction and walk with them a little.

ME: Excuse me, I just had to stop you and say hi. You're adorable.
HER: Oh, thanks.
ME: What's your name.
HER: XYZ.
ME: Oh, that's nice I'm JHA91.
HER: Oh, nice to meet you, JHA91.

It's like she is throwing the puppy a little treat.

ME: Did you see the fight?

This is a canned line that I learned from PUA opening material. I just couldn't help using it in this instance because I find it funny that I'm using a canned line based on what has actually happened. But it's a mistake for me to use it.

HER: Oh, so that's what all the commotion was about?
ME: Yeah.

I can't remember what else she says, but inevitably, I eject.

I go over to a third set that are sat outside of Debenhams. I sitting next to them hoping to get their attention that way. But I'm not as smooth as I intended to be and she is in conversation with her friend and doesn't notice straight away, then her friend notices, and she kind of turns around slowly.

ME: So how long you been waiting.
HER: Uh...20 minutes.
ME: For the right guy to just come along and sweep you off your feet.
HER: Oh, uh ... I'm kinda in conversation at the minute.
ME: Uh ... ok.

I walk off. My logic as a guy is that if a girl came over to 'interrupt' my convo it wouldn't really matter if I find her attractive. So looking at it from a guy's point of view, the girl probably is not that interested ... but then, who knows how women think. This is why persistence is so highly rated in the pick-up community.

I guess I could have said,

"so what? Hellooo, hot guy right here ... you're conversation can wait another day."

Then again, maybe I'm not that hot. Otherwise I would have had better results ... probably. Then again, it's confidence, not looks, I guess.

I dunno, I'm confused. Who truly knows what women think attracts them.

Ok, it is a little later after I've had a bite to eat, and I'm walking down the high street with a coffee. I'm thinking to myself, maybe my problem is I'm just going for the wrong type of girls. After all, I don't really seem to hit it off with all these bitchy chavvy girls that have the emotional intelligence of teenagers. Some of them might still be teenagers, actually it's kinda hard to tell sometimes.

One of the advantages of night game: the girls get IDd before they go into the club.

Well, anyway. I suddenly see someone who looks like they might be a bit more emotionally mature, so I tap her on the arm, and say,

"hey, I just had to stop you because I wanted to meet you."

Or something, I can't really remember what I say anymore. She starts laughing to her friend: just goes to show that you can't really tell until you make that approach. I try to see the funny side,

"don't laugh at me like that."

I say semi-humorously. But she doesn't stop laughing.

"wait, stop. What's your name?"

She ignores me and continues walking with her friend.

Whatever. I head back to the mall and see a gang of girls headed outside. I stop what looks like the alpha female walking at the head of the pack and say,

"excuse me I just had to stop you to say hi."

The way she stops is so slow and gentle, she is like some kind of cat. But it is not a passive vibe I get from her. More cautious, and maybe a little intrigued.

I can see her eyebrow start to twitch, like she is going to pull a kind of scowl I see a lot in girls. I'm about to reprimand her and say, "don't pull that face on me" and then there is this weird moment where it's as if she notices me noticing and she quickly stops that face.

It's an unusual moment and catches me off guard because now I can't tell her off anymore, hehe.

I shoulda just said,

"Something about you intrigues me, I want to know more"

Because girls of that calibre don't respond to compliments as anything but the ego back scratch they already get enough of.

But like I say, I find myself in an unusual situation and don't know what to say. So instead I say,

"You're absolutely adorable I had to come over and meet you."

Then her friend decides my approach attempt was no good and I don't hear what she says but I think she condescendingly imitates the line I used.

It's kinda weird the way her friend walks in front - she is clearly not the alpha female, but it is like she is pretending to be the mother hen shielding the swan from that rascal fox that wants to play. Then the swan makes a conscious decision to beat it's wings and slowly stroll off by her own accord while the fox just observes from a distance with feelings of slight contempt.

But then, there are worse forms of rejection, I guess.

OVERALL:

Next time I go back to daygame, I need to go back to the more aggressive salesman style of stopping girls in their tracks. No more, "excuse me". Anything else comes across as weak, beta and passive and is quite literally being ridiculed by the girls I am trying to stop.