Hey guys,

it was our first date and we were talking about a certain coffee shop and the girl mentioned that her and a ex use to go there.

then on another topic about her parents being strict she stated that "her and her boyfriend use to lie on her bed and her parents wouldn't care"

she mentioned 2 exes on the first date and i was wondering if this was a bit too much since it was just a first date and all

any advice guys?

Cmon guys im in need of some advice :S

Back in the days in my first date I would get annoyed and the girl would stop talking bout that but I don't remember having any results haha

Nowadays I'd probably go into some Style routines about exes but I don't think that would work either.

I don't have loads of exes so I'd rather ignore it.

That's the best I can think of hope I helped you but i really don't think i did lol

Who cares?

Did you escelate? Can you close?

If yes, again - who cares?

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

If she has spent a considerable amount of her life in a relationship or something like tha t then some of her stories are going to involve past ex's, I wouldn't really see it as a negative I would just play it cool
And also I agree with Rodeo...who cares if your getting IOI's and escalating

_________________
here for the game an all the pussy that come with it

Dont care about it, tell her some stories that show value about YOUR exs, if you dont have, create them.

But I agree with some above posters: dont take it too seriously. Overanalyzing is not good, on a normal chat people talk about that kind of things, especially when theyre knowing each other, just laugh about it or reply like if it was something normal, dont give it too much importance.

What's wrong about her mentioning her ex? Aparently she has some experience in life. Since i look at pick up as a journey i personally am very attracted to girls that have more life experience than me. You'll learn and progress much more from a girl that is experienced with men than some unexperienced virgin.

My exgf that i still have contact with, dates other guys and she always tells me about these dates. She always mentions me in the dates and there are two types of reactions these guys have.

AFC reaction (she looks at the guy as a child)
- Don't want to talk about the ex (you come across as insecure because you are afraid of competiton of her exes)
- Tell her you want to call her ex. (you are clearly effected/threatened by her having an ex)
- Convince her you are better than her exes (You apparently have something to prove to her)


A MANs Reaction (She's attracted to these reactions and thinks about you as a man)
- Don't fear the topic of her exes.
- Let her be herself around you and accept her history with other guys.
- Don't feel threatened, ask questions like; "why did you break up?" and "What kind of a guy was he" and "What did they like about you?"(gives you info about her)
- Look at her as a source of PU information. What did her exes do right/wrong is gold to you as a PUA

I'm personally very interested in all the story's girls have about other guys. You learn so much from them. Many girls start to notice you are interested in them and are intelligent enought to understand you use them too improve yourself. What happens is they stop talking about it even if i insist they talk about it.

Enjoy her presence! And remember they are EXES for a reason. No competition! You have nothing to prove to her. Don't even try to prove you are cooler/have more experience in life. Just assume you are an addition to her life!!!

_________________
HI

Yeah i know what you guys mean, probably just reading into it too much i appreciate the comments and help though
so thanks guys!

your question is legitimate!
good luck!

_________________
HI

A general rule in dating is to never mention an ex, especially on a first date. It's something that all (AFC) guys & gals are more or less taught by society. If she kept mentioning her ex's she is probably immature or damaged goods.

And you should NEVER ask her why she broke up with her ex's, to do so introduces a wellspring of negative emotion into YOUR date....yeah, that will work well. It will make her angry, maybe even cry, and then she'll hate you for delving into the matter. Did you ask her out so she would tell you about them? That's probably what she will be asking herself after your date. Investigating negative subjects like the things her ex boyfriends did wrong simply will not put her in the mood for sex, any type of kino/excalation will be completely worthless when she is in that state, and it will make you look creepy.

The fact that she kept bringing up the subject suggests she's either not over her ex's, or she is carrying one hell of a grudge. The ground has been salted, there's very little that will grow in that garden. Meanwhile, there was probably many other approachable women around that didn't need any type of special care like she did.

You should also try to get out of the whole "date" process, because it's a pre-PUA concept. A PUA does interesting things, and if a woman proves herself to him she may be invited to join him. A formal "date" brings with it all types of preconceived notions in a woman's mind, such as the idea that a guy is going to try and get into her pants. It's better to have her meet you somewhere where the PUA skills can be deployed, so you thinks that "it just happened" or "it was magic" or you "swept her off her feet."

I tend to avoid all kind of conversations about the past, including ex'es, especially during first dates...

The past is the past, it's history. And usually, the girl you're dating today wasn't there. So talking about something wherein you can't include her, only creates distance.. that's no good, since your goal is to get closer together.

I prefer talking about current and short term projects and if she appears to be interested in them, i bring it up again while walking home, saying something like: "Do you want to see the prototype of that thing we talked about, it's really cool..." Before she knows it, we're mixing drinks in my kitchen en getting comfortable in the living room...

Blue paint and a brush, to project a blue skyed future.. are two items in my bag of tricks and they seem to work for me..

Her perception of your past and vice versa can fuck it all up...

I think you may be missing something here, I've had numerous conversations about ex's with girls and what you're missing is that her emotions go down, but what if you then bring her emotions way back up?
She'll then be associating you with making her feel better when she is down. Very powerful. What does everyone love? Someone that can bring them out of a bad mood/negative feeling etc. Now of course some people don't like to talk about those situations, if she doesn't want to talk about it, she'll tell you "I don't want to talk about it", but that doesn't mean she isnt' thinking about it, if she's brought up the ex then she is already thinking it.
Also you're forgetting that having told you history of a previous relationship, you are getting deep into her emotional core and she'll feel a closer bond to you because of this.

_________________
"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

really just depends if she seemed into you or not

if she recently split up with him, then chances are he was the main focus of her life and that is mostly all she has to talk about, as he was probably her main hobby

I wouldn't read into it too much or be worried as long as things are going well and it doesn't seem like a shield to keep you away (lol I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!)

First of all I love when girls talk about their Ex. Why? you may ask? An ex is a example of somebody who you do not want to be with, somebody who broke your heart, and hurt your sensitive feelings. What does this mean to you? First you can immediatly bring those emotions back and the girl will immediately be "hurting" and can result in a hug (re-assurance) furthermore you can let her blabber on and on about that pointless bs (her x) and then be like "wow thats crazy thats definetly not my style" and im sure at some point she will become interested in knowing more about you. it will bring you too together and it'll feel as if you guys "know just everything about each other"

-Also include jokes in the convo, don't keep it so cut throat. For instance when she speaks of her ex's and mentions something terrible that the guys done to her, say something like

"sounds like your talking about me hahahha"

He cheated on me
-I do it all the time, i thought every guy does it on the weekends?

just bs to make her laugh and let her know your aware of what other guys do but "mature" enough to not act as such

Ignore it, but don't avoid it... Basically don't talk about it. But when she does, don't immediately change subject. Reply with just oh thats cool... Don't add anything. If she asks about your exes say that your ex was a good girl but it doesn't work out and you prefer to live in the present not the past.

Was in this situation only twice... This worked for me. But It's far from fail safe.