Well I wanted to give you guys an update. After my last post things were going pretty dam great. She was back at texting me a great deal with cute messages. Following few days went like this,

Friday night - She went with her girls to a going away party. I asked if I was going to be going with her. She said "Sorry babe, but its not really a party and I dont want to overstep my boundaries by just taking anyone they dont really know." This kinda ticked me off because im supposed to be her boyfriend. But I didnt let it get to me completely and I brushed it off.

Saturday morning - I went over her place and surprised her with breakfast. It was a little awkward as her bestfriend had spent the night because she had drank a bit to much at this supposed "going away party, that wasnt really a party"... Anyway, I didnt let it phaze me. My girlfriend had misplaced her phone when I arrived. I went to the bathroom to take care of business and low and behold her phone was sitting on the sink. Immediately she began knocking on the door asking if it was in there. I said yes, let me finish up and ill give it to you. After this she immediately began accusing me of taking it... :/ I felt things going back to square one as now its pretty obvious she still no longer trusts me. I didnt defend myself, i simply told her that the phone was in there when I went in. Thats it! I asked her to drop it because I wasnt going to argue and allow her to accuse me. Later that evening she had to attend a basketball game with her boss from work. I was invited at first by her boss but unfortunately he was not able to pass up the ticket after all as he was a sponsored guest. This meant that my girlfriend had to still go as it was considered a work event... Here came my jealousy and insecurity creeping up on me all over again. I did whatever I could to forget about it. My girlfriend went on to tell me that after the game she wanted me to still go over her place to just relax and watch movies with her and her son, even if she was to tired. So I was happy about that. Later in night I noticed the game was over so I decided to head to her place and I thought I'd pick up some dinner for us. On my way after picking up the food she texted me so pulled over.

Her: "What are you doing?"
Me: Im on my way
Her: "Why? Dont leave yet."
Me: Because you told me to go over even if you were tired babe.
Her: "Yeah but what If I dont feel like going home yet?"
Me: What do you mean? You said you were just going home immediately after the game.
Her: "yeah but what if I dont want to? What if I wanted to do something after. What If I wasnt going home yet?"
Me: Well... Thats true but I assumed that wouldnt be the case after what you told me. So I decided to pick up dinner and surprise you.
Her: "Well I just wanna go home and spend some alone time with my son."
Me: But Im like, pretty much a few blocks from your house. You really want me to just turn back with the food I got us?
Her: "Thats not really my fault. You shouldnt have assumed and showed up unannounced. I just want alone time with my son please"
Me: Really... Ok, fine... Ill just head on home then...
Her: Thanks.
Me: Thats really messed up, im pretty hurt by this.
Her: "Ill call you later before bed ok, im not being mean. I just want alone time with my son. I havent seen him for almost 2 days"

Of course I got no call...

After the above I went home extremely pissed off and surprisingly very very hurt. Not to mention paranoid because it seemed so fucking shady... So me being me, I called her cousin whom was taking care of her son and he pretty confirmed, she got home, settled in and went straight to her son. I realized I was pretty much backsliding back into "Beta" So I just decided to call it a night.

Sunday - I woke up extremely pissed. Called my buddy to let him know about how she acted out. Him being my bro, he pretty much tossed more fuel to the flame. I got my shit, went over to her place and let her know exactly how I felt. Told her that I was just done with these constant changes with her attitude. That I felt so under-appreciated and dragged along simply because she doesnt wanna lose a good guy. Talked to her about messaging her friends all the time blah blah blah... I totally blew up and didnt give her a single chance to explain herself. I walked her to her doorstep and told her to tell her son I said sorry. She looked at me pretty upset and I walked away a bit teary eyed... I knew I had just broken her heart.

Later in the day she messaged me asking where I was, I told her at home and asked if she was ok. She said "how do think i feel? You broke up with me." She asked if I'd go over and I let her know that I wasnt driving all the way back out there unless she gave me good reason too. She said "You know I will" So I decided to go and actually not be a dick and hear her out. When I got there she looked at me and said "I understand why youre upset, im sorry I made you feel that way. I didnt mean to hurt you and no one should ever have to go through the stuff I put you through. Im just different, I grew up early because of my child. I like to have my personal time with him. I like to have weekends to myself too, im not the type to just attach myself to someones hip. Im sorry if I hurt you or seem mean or grumpy. I wanna work on that. I wanna change that about myself because I dont wanna give up on us". After that we had great sex and got a pretty bad ass BJ as well... lol

I just realized afterward though that I just probably fucked up hardcore and went straight back to a beta bitch... I was obviously playing the chick part... Anyway, so thats were Im at right now. We decided to give it another go and see if any change does help. Yesterday she went back to being affectionate. Hopefully we can work through this, im gonna go back to limiting my contact to try and get things balanced again.

Comments or suggestions are always much appreciated, even the ugly ones guys.

Thanks

If my instinct is correct, she will do those bad behaviors again. Okay, now it's time for you to detach yourself from this girl no ifs or buts. Forget what I said about Mikemight's advice. Take it. Treat her as such. At least now you know from experience that this girl is being a retard. I will post it again. The only reason I disagreed with MikeMight in the first place was because I thought you would know how to play her. I thought you would know how to play the game, but I thank you for posting an update so we, the community can help. Instead, you were using logic to solve your relationship problems. Bad move, especially when she didn't give two shits that you drove to surprise her with dinner. Big no no in my book, ACTUALLY a huge no no.. You have to give this girl the feeling of loosing you. I thought you would uphold your law but you let her use sex to take you down. Never let sex persuade you.

This is your text to her, read it to yourself and see how it sounds: You aren't holding any fort right now.

Alkaline: Thats really messed up, im pretty hurt by this.



In my opinion, I urge you to game other chicks at once. Keep them on the side.

An example of setting boundaries when you are the prize:

For example: One of my girls tries to use sex as a tool against me from time to time. LOL in my book. I pass these lame tests. Other time a chick told me one time that she was too tired to have sex...immediately called her out on it for thinking I only come over to have sex (I knew that was a bullshit reason) and did a takeaway. I didn't explain myself, but I vaguely placed a seed in her mind that she better not get too comfortable with me and walked out on her without saying much or arguing or trying to find out why she was tired...I am not having it. Next thing you know, she texts me the next day telling me to come over. She hasn't acted out since. And when she does, I will reassert myself again and again, and again. Girls will always test you bro, it's your job to remind them that you are still the man they fell for in the beginning. Other girls want you. Make it known that you aren't going to be around forever. Put yourself first.


Read the material here:


http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php? ... -old-forum

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before getting to page 5 i was already in agreement with mikemight (while mostly ery1 else was not).

the ONLY reason she initially came back after the few days of NC was because 3 months is too short for her to feel sure that you were the AFC type that she doesnt want to be with.

she had some doubts, probably still does.

but seriously, the ONLY WAY around this is to be single and work on your inner game. the way i see it, you have massive AFC tendencies and as much as you thought you had turned it around with this broad, you landed back in the same spot because you were way too nice and way too AFC.

again the ONLY way around this is to hold onto the only thing you got which is your pride and DISMISS this woman. like seriously she is making you look like a joke and is playing you like a toy.

she is calling the shots, its disgusting.

you have alot to work on and IT MUST BE DONE ON YOUR OWN. and it takes time.

whats surprising is that you said you were single for 3 years prior to this. you would think that you wouldve learned a lil more than you are demonstrating with how youre dealing with this broad

That is exactly how I feel. For 3 years I was dating and turning down chicks like mad after I was done with them. Now I meet this girl, she made me feel so different. Now... Its like all that Karma from me nexting so many girls has finally come back to haunt me. Essentially I feel like im on the other side of the stick now, knowing what it feels like to be played.

Cut this girl out of your life. Game other girls immediately or at least start working on your inner game a.s.a.p. or you can practice building an immunity to her shit tests while banging her brains out and leave once you are done. Actually, I recommend cutting her out completely, she may remind you of negative thoughts when you see her.

Mr. A.

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Are you able to call out any shit tests from what I've posted so far? If so, can you pin point them for me so I can recognize them?

after your friday night outing where she told you to eff off and not come to the party, you said it yourself that you were ticked off and whatnot.

THIS IS A SHIT TEST. she is curious how you will react, to her brushing you off, etc etc

the very next morning you show up surprising her with breakfast ?? are you FUCKING INSANE????

you keep saying things like "i didnt let it phaze me, i brushed it off " etc. but are you really?

or were these things actually bothering you? i think its the latter, and SHE FEELS THIS. these are the shit tests you need to be passing but instead you showered her with more attention and neediness which turned her off.

in a perfect situation you would have had your own plans friday night, she would asking YOU if she can join YOU, and the next morning shes wondering where YOU ARE etc etc you get the point.

then the text exchange is even worse. shes trying to give you hints to eff off once again, but you force her to explicitly explain to you that she doesnt want you to go.

these are more shit tests; you are proving that you are not at her level; you dont lead; you dont understand her etc etc

Personally, I'd have just walked away the moment she started accusing you of taking her phone or what the hell ever happened in her bathroom... You brought her breakfast and she throws this fit. Wonder why she wouldn't want you checking her phone by the way... Perhaps something to do with her flirting with boys again?

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Now that you've tried suggestions (although not to their full potential by being beta) END IT. It's over man. She's not your project to fix either so don't make it that kind of situation. If it's that rough in the first three months, think about long term. Grow a pair and end it. I did two years ago and it's been better for me ever since.

Well I did it. Ended things completely. She was understanding which didn't surprise me one bit... I could totally tell she had been waiting for it to happen unfortunately but now im off to bigger and better things! Back to being a PUA in training.

Good.

Advice for the next thread you post: follow the directions to the T next time. I'm no expert but I know these guys on here know what they are talking about. Get back in the game and look forward to the future!

Definitely going to. I tell ya, the one thing thats bugging the shit out of me so far is that she was so fucking aloof about it. Like she just didnt give a shit after all... Anyway, not worth thinking about anymore.

Thanks again guys.

Well its been a week and I miss the shit out of her. :/ Totally... Sad part is I think she doesn't really give 2 cents. I really liked this girl and would have liked to have seen things get better. Anyway, time to try and move forward.

I want to get out and start meeting women but I just dont feel it. For example, this morning I awoke from a dream of me and her talking and hugging. I awoke happy but immediately realized it was a dream and felt like vomiting. Felt like I got kicked in the chest and just tore me down. I've been feeling shittie all day.

Any advice? The usual "dont think about it, get a hobby, talk to other girls" just isnt doing it. I feel zero motivation right now.

Set yourself some objectives for each day with regards to school, work, working out, etc. Give yourself a mission. Eventually you'll be over it... The biggest healer is time.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Totally trying. Im in the biggest hurt I've been in, in years. Its pretty much changed my point of view about dating single mothers. Before I dated her my uncle had mentioned to me that "if things go bad and you guys split up, you'll be hurting man. Youre gonna feel the pain of losing 2 instead of just one. Thats the reason I only did it once. Its not worth hurt if you wind up being the only one serious about it."

He was totally right. Today I saw a commercial for a cartoon I'd watch with her son. Again, total kick in the chest. I just cant believe she was able to flip the switch the way she did... Like she just doesnt give a shit.