New to PU- One-itis has made me question who I am?



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:58 pm 
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New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:14 pm
Posts: 4
Location: San Diego
Hello all,
Im Eculeus I'll get the usual intro out of the way.
*I am Currently Located in San Diego
*Im 22
*I just read Niel Strauss "The Game"
*I can't say I have ever studied Pickup however, I have never had a huge problem with girls until recently.
*Hobbies/passion: Drawing, Hunting
*Goals here are to just be overall good with people. And obviously meeting/attracting women.


Ok so my backstory: I grew up in a small town where It was pretty easy to be alpha. During Highschool (like I said small town) I knew every girl there and I had the higschool girls down, so sleeping with them was easy. Even in other small towns it was really easy to go and pick up chicks. My Junior year I started dating a girl from my town, we hit it off and I was in complete control, looking back I was manipulative I just don't think I realized it at the time. She fell hard for me, and I loved her too but at the time I didn't care, regretfully I cheated on her several times.
Due to my occupation I was obligated to move to San Diego. This is where things fell apart for me...

This girl and I continued to date, even though she knew I had cheated on her. Then it just got harder and things went off and on... I really started to fall hard for this chick. During our breakups I met a few girls in San Diego. I dated a couple, broke them off when they pulled out the L word. At this point I compare every girl to her, and can't get over her. Had sex with 5-6 girls during the year of the Breakup.

Fast forward another year, I have to leave the states for a few months. I visit home before leaving. And end up seeing her, we hit it off again. For 3 weeks its like nothing had changed and everything was great- BACK IN LOVE!
I neglected to ask if she was seeing anyone at the time, I assumed we were back together. So I leave the country for a few months.

Month 2 of being away I find out the whole time she had been dating someone. And she say's she cant talk to me. "Ok this sucks" however I have to do my job, so I break off contact with her.

I return in 2010 I visit home, shes still with the guy, her and I end up hanging out: Same story, but this time everything is sneaking around having sex in cars, bathrooms blah blah.. I leave no one finds out, we stay in contact.

I leave the country again. No contact until January of 2011... I find out she has broken it off with her boyfriend, and like an AFC I ask what about "us" she tells me she doesnt have those feelings for me anymore. This just crushed me...(I need explainations, why do I feel like this??) The last few months have been pretty low. I used to be able to do anything and this girl would still love me, now not so much.

*SORRY THIS IS SO LONG*
And finally reach now... As it seems very clear this is a prime example of one-itis Sob Fucking Story. A friend out here loaned me the book the game, I read it and immediately knew I had to find out more. So I jumped online and found several websites that discuss PU but, this one grabbed my attention the most. I feel like I haven't dealt with women in forever, and im headed back to the states soon, I just don't want to be an AFC anymore (that is really hard for me to admit) I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore, back in the day I would have said "whatever" and moved on.
So here I am, willing to learn, however I am not able to go out and use anything at the moment. This will mostly be theory and learning until I return home!


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 5:38 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:07 pm
Posts: 195
Hehe, don't worry, you're still yourself. It's natural for all human beings to evolve with age and time, and you have as well. You are now aware that you are capable of having true romantic feelings for a girl - that's healthy.

What isn't healthy is dwelling too long on nostalgic memories with a girl, and glorifying her. This indeed does sound like oneitis, and not so much love.

My advice:

Make peace with the past, and be hopeful about the future. Be thankful for the great moments you had with this girl and move on in search for new ones.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:26 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 3:30 am
Posts: 209
Location: Eastern U.S.
Welcome to the site!

Yeah, I'd definitely move on to someone else.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:50 am 
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New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:14 pm
Posts: 4
Location: San Diego
Thanks Gentlemen, I am eager to get out of this state I'm in and move on. I keep thinking it may be the fact that I have had little to no interaction with women for long periods of time. I'm excited to get back and just socialize with the opposite sex!


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