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hey dude,
you say you can not get dates?
how many women have you asked out?, how did you do it?, what happened as a result?
I've tried a few different approaches. I've tried meeting an interesting girl and immediately asking her out at the end of our first conversation.
I've tried hanging out with her for a while and being friendly before telling her I was interested and asking her out.
One girl I met at a charity auction. (She worked at the art gallery.) She posted on Facebook that she really wanted some silly cheap toy and would love anyone who brought her one. I came in to where she worked with said toy and asked her out after some flirting and etc.
I probably am not asking people out enough in general, but I don't find many women that are interesting to me in my every day life. It's better at my new location and I'm meeting a lot of new interesting people. All told though, I probably asked out less than two dozen girls in the last few years.
well here is your main issue, start practicing and testing your ideas on a good sample size of women
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have you ever explained your situation, or asked her for help or asked her to wing you or anything?
Yes actually, and I think she is going to start winging for me. This arrangement should be profitable. I've also gotten over my "crush" on her. (Although I would still probably fuck her if the opportunity arose.)
cool
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I'm actually very open minded to many sexual things and differences of opinion. My problem is with "the game". I don't like that I have to play a stupid game and deceive women to get sex. I think that any two consenting adults who trust each other, care about each other, and both get horny, could have sex without regrets. It frustrates me that women who trust me implicitly and are single are horrified by the idea of having sex with me because "it would be wrong" and that I am going to have to learn to play games and trick them if I want to stop that from happening. (Because yes, I have asked most of my close female friends for sex at one point or another. I feel like two people who care about each other and are both horny should take care of each other's needs.)
also, you seem to have some sort of misconception about game (assuming you are speaking about the mystery method in particular), it's more or less just a guide to flirting for guys that are clueless, it has nothing really to do with tricking anyone, if a girl is not interested in having sex with you, trust me, she won't have sex with you
if girls are telling you they don't want to have sex with you because ''it would be wrong'' then they are simply lieing to you, most girls have trouble using the magic word... ''no'', they just can't say it for what ever reason, they would rather dodge that and give an excuse remaining passive, rather then just coming out and being honest and straight forward about it, in my opinion it's because they like to rationalize that they are not hurting a guys feelings by giving him a reason that is not ''I don't like you''
some girls have chatted with me about it and the way I have had it explained to me is, they just feel it is ''mean'', and they don't want to be ''mean'', sometimes they like a guy but just not enough to want to take it further then flirting, so they just keep flirting but don't let it get further, so they just don't cut it off at any point so that the guy doesn't hate them (or at least that seems to be the female goal), but realistically I don't like it, if you don't already recognize this pattern of behavior it can be confusing and some guys can get lead on easily thinking a girl likes them, cause the girl keeps saying so and keep giving them false hope cause she doesn't want to be ''mean'' instead of just telling the truth so he could use his time more efficiently to meet other women, I like to call these girls ''time wasters''
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This is not the problem. I have no problem opening myself up to others and getting them to do the same.
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All told though, I probably asked out less than two dozen girls in the last few years.
these ^ 2, don't add up, your post suggests you are a social guy and have that aspect down, but I get the sense that you are not quite pro-actively expressing how you feel to every girl you come into contact with that interests you, from start to finish girls should feel that you like them and find them attractive, and either overtly or covertly you should be flirting with them and moving things more towards sex if that is your short term goal, both logistically and compliance wise
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I'm learning the skills. Was there a purpose to this paragraph besides to attempt to insult me?
do I seem like I am trying to attack you, or help you?, there is more to getting girls then just social skills, social skills are a large part of meeting the girl, making a connection, and closing the deal without cock blocking yourself, but looks, your actual social status, and your lifestyle all effect how much women will actually be interested in you, obviously I could be wrong since I have very little to base this on besides a cold read off your post, but I get the vibe you are very picky about the way a girl looks, wanting high quality girls that every other guy and his dog also want, yet you are not willing to work on anything besides your social skills, there is more to it then that, attractive girls tend to have more male options then unattractive girls and you can bet they could get laid at anytime, if you want that to be you laying the pipe then you should be in the top of the line of her picking order and since you have stated that in the past few years you have probably asked out less then two dozen women, this makes your goal (if it is to score a mega hottie) even more seemingly unrealistic, in my opinion a guy who is absolutely on top of his shit, who can sleep with 1 out of 4 women who are realistically physically attractive, has an amazing game, and social skills are only a piece to the whole orchestra that is the game you play, everything matters, girls are picky and guys who claim to do better then 1 out of 2 are most likely either terribly insecure and lieing to try to impress people or make money, or simply not sleeping with women that are that sought after, and personally It is my opinion that holding some sort of superficial success rate is irrelevant, getting the kind of quality girls you want and having the sort of sex life you want, outweighs how many girls you fuck out of how many girls you talk to, if you simply want to up that success ratio, go bang fatties galore and you'll be a huge fatty pimp, however if you want high quality girls you should be willing to do what it takes, do as many as it takes to reach your goals, and become as high quality yourself as possible in every aspect of your life possible, not just social skills, get your game to a 10, get your looks to a 10, get your finances to a 10, get your popularity to a 10, get the amount of options you have to sleep with to a 10, get your whole life to a 10, not just one aspect, become as high quality as you possibly can achieve
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both the inner and the outer aspects of your self and your life can be improved
This one aspect of my life needs work. Other aspects are developed as needed. I am very happy with the person that I am and I don't feel great need for improvement beyond in this area. (Which doesn't mean I won't continue to learn and grow in many areas, just that I'm quite happy with the person that I am now.)
this is what I am talking about, there is more to women then just your social skills, you either become a dime piece to get dime pieces with less effort, or you have to approach alot more dime pieces and develop an efficient way to screen them, and put in more effort, if your life is a 10, and your game is a 10, you will get 10s, if you game is a 10, and your life is a 10, you can get tens, but it won't be as easy or as consistent
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I don't care about getting a perfect 10. When I say I have high standards, I mean emotionally. I want to find a girl that I have some amount of trust for and/or one who has at least two brain cells to rub together. My roommate is probably a 6 (saggy boobs and slightly overweight). My friend who is engaged is probably a 5. (A bit overweight and not a very pretty face.) Although the engaged friend always looks like a 9 when I'm around here because her personality is so amazing and overwhelming, she seems more attractive than she is.
ok fair enough, figure out what your perfect 10 is anyways so you know what to look for in your ideal girl, both physically and personality/lifestyle wise, this is a good start for you to screen girls out more early that you are talking with for girls that are more likely to have chemistry with you, dis-guard the ones that don't show promise, do your best to get in and commit to running your game with the ones that do, and just because you should improve yourself in all possible ways, doesn't mean you should not approach the girls you deem the most attractive, always shoot for your ideal situation, always go for the gold, challenge yourself
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I've got some results to report and some more questions actually. I've been meeting people around campus and I went to a party and met more people. All of my results have been positive and I've had no problem walking up to strangers and introducing myself and having conversations. However, I don't know how to proceed after chatting for a while. How do I advance the situation? How do I close? What kind of close should I be going for? Not knowing how to proceed, I've basically just left with first names when it was time for class. (And again, the responses have been positive and I'm sure I could resume communication with these women at a later time.)
chiefs-guide-to-outer-game-vt75887.html
this ^ can help you with the basics, to advance it depends on the situation, it depends on how much compliance you are seeing, it depends on what you want to accomplish
closing mostly comes down to what you want in the situation, as well as logistics, if you are simply talking about numbers, you just ask when you think you have the compliance, if kissing, you simply kiss when you think you have the compliance, if sex, you simply have sex when you have the logistics and think you have the compliance
what kind of close, also depends on your logistics, and the level of compliance you believe she has, you should also be learning how to screen girls, screen girls for qualities that interest you, as well as for sexual interest
before you are taking them out it's useful to know if it is more possible then not to end in sex, and it is also useful to know if it is more possible then not that you and the person are really going to get along well if you do end up having sex, after the sex gets boring
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Some examples:
-At lunch I sat down at a table with five girls and asked "is this seat taken?" I proceeded to talk to them and eat for 45 minutes and they invited me to each with them in the future. The one I was sitting next to was interesting to me and I would like to get somewhere with her, but I don't really know how to proceed. I kept them laughing at lunch and I'm sure that they will be happy to see me again.
you want to get further with that one girl? ask her out to do something, what ever you feel comfortable doing while out with her, try to push yourself to go a little beyond that, work on building compliance, having a good time, and getting to know the person, seeing if they screen up well for you
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-At another lunch, I sat down with one girl by herself. We had a few common interest and talked about college stuff. She told me about a game of Humans vs Zombies that will be starting soon. However, I ran out of topics and got a bit flustered. (Pretty uncommon for me, I'm not really sure what happened. Although she was quite hot.) She seemed bored and left "to go to class". I hope to see her again at the game, but this was by far my most negative experience of the week. I doubt I could salvage this one into anything more than casual friends.
often I find when I am really nervous around a girl I find exceptionally hot, I get a bit self conscious, this forces me into introspective thinking mode, my mind starts thinking of what is the best thing to say here, what would get this girl to like me, then lots of things race through and sometimes I just blank out and can't think of anything, the truth is, there is no best thing to say, often just taking a deep breath, relaxing, focusing externally and just letting go helps alot, just lower the pressure you are putting on yourself, you don't have to get anything out of the girl, and you can talk about anything, as long as you are thinking from an extrospective point of view and you are feeling good, she will start to feel good also, the content of the words are not as relevant as the emotional content and body language of the exchange, if the actual threads you are choosing are not to her liking while you are doing this, chances are you don't share the same interests and as hot as she is, it would be a bad idea to hook up with her (but no worries, there are plenty more hotties out there to get to know as long as approaching doesn't bother you, and you enjoy the company of women)
also a nice little trick I use, is when I open a girl and I am really nervous and simply can't clear my mind and get back to that extrospective point of view and I litterally ''run out of things to say'', I just ask her out, even if it has gone shitty, I just tell her that she seems cool, or interesting, and I want to take her out, then you just see what she says, if she agrees, get her number, and you can contact her when ever you want to get to know her better and gauge her further for interest and chemistry
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-I have a class with a Chinese exchange student. She doesn't know anyone. I talked to her or a few minutes before class and she asked me to sit with her in the rest of the classes because she wants to be near someone she knows. This girl isn't seriously my type, but I am willing to pursue it for experience purposes. How should I proceed from the friend she is clinging to, to some kind of more physical relationship?
make your intentions more clear, let her know you find her attractive and ask her out to do something, if you want a more physical relationship, act like you two already have one, just assume the roll and see if she plays her part
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Best for last:
-I had dinner with some friends and met a girl there. (Gonna call her Girl X) We chatted for a while in the group setting and I got a few IoIs from her. (Some touches and looks. Girl X walked up behind me at one point and hugged my arm to her chest while she talked to me.) Then she and my friends smoked some pot before leaving for a party. (I don't partake, so I played a video game with another guy while they smoked.) When they came back, Girl X seemed more interested in me. She tried on a bunch of different outfits for the part and I flirted while giving her opinions of her outfits. Before we left, she asked if I was single. (I assume that's a very large IoI.) She also pointed out to all of us that she was going to the party in a short dress and leaving her underwear behind.
So then at the party things didn't go as well. Girl X was off getting drunk and I lost track of her. Other guys were also all over her and I didn't really have a chance to talk to her much. I dominated at beer pong and met some friends. (No interesting women though.) One of the people I went with hit his head and had to go to the hospital, the others went with him except for Girl X and I. By this point though, she was being "guarded" by a guy who was interested in her and who she seemed to like. She also seemed to be having some kind of problem and was crying at one point. (I don't know what was wrong, my other friends who knew her apparently were in the know, but I was not informed.)
I caught back up to her at the end of the night and talked for a few minutes, but at that point she just wanted to go home. I offered to give her a ride, but she wanted to wait for the other guys. (Who were still at the hospital.) I ended up leaving without even getting her number. After the crying and the interference from the other dude, I didn't really know what to do with her at that point or how to proceed. (Especially since I had spent very little time with her at the party.) I ended up leaving.
That party happens every week. I can't go this week, but I imagine I'll see her next week at the party. How should I proceed when I see her again? (Two weeks after first meeting with no contact in between.) How should I proceed if I run into her in the meantime? (It could happen, all the friends she was hanging with are my next door neighbors.)
you should be more proactive in getting on top of what you want, set a short term goal that is related to the present moment in time, figure out what you want to accomplish, then set out to accomplish that in what is the best way in your opinion, then after your plan of action has been set in motion, reflect on the outcome and how you could improve the plan of action
in that particular situation, that girl was showing overt interest in you, the most common ioi's that are easy to pick apart are
-girl laughs at alot of the stuff you say, with little to no effort on your part
-girl trys to engage you in conversation on her own
-girl touches you
-girl follows you around
when you are seeing positive attention from women, test compliance and build it from what point you think you are at (see the link posted way above for the basics on compliance momentum, or a ''compliance ladder'')
also, when there are guys around, don't worry about them, most likely they don't fit into your short term goals you have set for yourself, don't focus so much on them, focus on the task at hand and pro-actively meeting that ends in the most efficient way possible, anything that is not conducive to your ends, should be disregarded, don't get distracted from the task at hand
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I have also had numerous brief encounters with people I meet while studying or walking between classes. I've just been introducing myself and talking for a few minutes before leaving, because I don't know how to close or when it's appropriate to close.
this is great, start asking for phone numbers and facebooks from people (assuming you have a phone and a facebook), ask both guys and girls, make friends, meet girls, meet guys, make social connections in general, the more the better, and practice your ability to do it with efficiency, focus on forming a deep meaningful connection with the actual kind of people that you seem to click well with, really get to know them as people
GOOD LUCK