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Long time reader, first time poster. I'm probably not the typical person on here, so I'll give a little background before asking my question. I'm 37, married, in an open relationship, and have been an active participant in the BDSM community for the past 15 years or so, and identify as a dominant. I'm pretty good with women, even though I have almost debilitating AA when apporoaching in public. Most of my 'dates' come from one particular social media site that caters to the BDSM community. I've met several young, attractive partners there, and am overall happy with my current relationship(s) and sex life. About a month ago I started talking to a 21 YO girl on the site who lives about 2 hrs from me. Being from central iowa, this is typical and I don't mind travelling for the right person. Conversation was going well, we were building rapport, and I was escalating, although slowly because she is new and expressed that she was really nervous. She also had a lot of aggressive and overbearing men (which is typical for the site, unfortunately) so I didn't want to scare her off. It usually took her a day or two in between responses. When I mentioned this, she said she was in the middle of moving, a new job, and just started in a nursing program so couldn't get online much. I gave her my cell number and said she could text if it was more convienent. Then nothing for almost a week. I followed up with another email saying that I hope it didn't scare her off by me giving her my number. She responded and said she wasn't ready for that and we picked up where we left off and traded a couple messages over the next week. Then one night I got a message from her at 3 am saying she was all moved into her new place and was looking forward to meeting eventually, but she was really scarred about her feelings of being submissive and could only talk about it when she had been drinking. She also sent a text at the same time, just giving me her number. I responded by text the next day just saying good morning. She says: whose this? I told her and teased her about forgetting she sent me a text in the middle of the night. Then no response. Later that night I sent her another text saying I would respond to her latest email and hoped she was having a good day. I responded on the site as well and have heard nothing since (5 days ago). I can tell she has been online at least once since then, but no repsonse. Now usually I would say Fuck it and move on, but she's a solid 9, and we share a lot of the same kinks, and she can actually hold an intelligent conversation. My theory is that she's just new and nervous, and probably embarrassed by the drunk text. But maybe she's found another, or just not interested. So my question is, where do I go from here? I really want to peruse a relationship, but dont want to come across as needy or pushy. Any advice about next steps, or even where I might have gone wrong would be greatly appreciated.
There is no relationship to peruse, never was. She's a young horny hot girl that expressed a little fantasy got cold feet, and ghosted. End of story.
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but she's a solid 9
Her and her 100 million twin sisters.