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I've gone out with this girl 4 times now with the 4th being tonight. We haven't banged yet. Tonight would have been the night but I didn't have a condom. We grabbed dinner then went to a bar and drank. The night went really well, she was all over me and me all over her. The night ended with us in the car, she blew me and we were gonna fuck but I didn't have a condom so we stopped. She was sad I didn't have one and said next time don't forget to bring one. I told her I was gonna go buy one but she started to get emotional.
Not once in that paragraph did I see the sentence, "I made her orgasm".
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She told me she didn't want to have sex because she is staring to get way too attached to me and she doesn't want a relationship right now. She said sex would mKe her get even more attached. Then she kept saying this is a mistake and that we shouldn't hang out again.
Haha, always have a condom on a date. Women lose their shit when they're about to fuck a guy for the first time and the "no condom pause" happens. If anything, this just shows you how "in the moment" women are. Once second they're ready to be yours, and the next their in a negative space because of a pause.
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I told her the reason why I keep hitting her up is because she's a fun person. She's fun to hang out with and when I go out with someone I don't have any expectations other than to enhance my evening and have a fun time.
Jesus, what a load of shit that is.
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Now I would like to make this girl my lady. I don't know the next move with her. She's very clearly and overtly into me but doesn't want that commitment of having a boyfriend right now. Should I pretend this never happened and still ask her out next week? What would you do if you wanted her as a girlfriend? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Any socially valuable woman doesn't want a commitment/relationship right away. That is what cougars, whose social marketplace value has plummeted do, or 6's and under.
Everything you've told me about her is a good sign...a sign of a strong independent woman who knows what she wants, and who has the patience and the emotional intelligence to wait for a relationship to blossom organically.
With that in mind, get "I would like to make this girl my lady" out of your fucking head. It's a desperate starting point, and completely in-congruent with what she's told you (she DOESN'T want anything serious).
So right away you're way over-invested compared to her.
If you really want to make a girl "your lady", you don't have a "talk". You live in the moment. You avoid Debbie Downer meta-relationship talks, you make her orgasm every time you hook up. You're dominant in bed. you don't over-contact or smother her. When her phone lights up, she thinks "fun", not "Stage Five Clinger". You go to the gym and keep fit. You focus on your career.
you do not send novels of emotion via text. Light. Fun. Playful. Simple. And when you do this long enough, a woman will have "the talk" with you.