Been dating a girl since november. Had a great start. Havent seen her in 5 weeks. Issues at work etc. ive lost my job and havent been myself. Neither had she. Had a bit if distance. Sent flowers to her for valentines day last week, thiught to restart this. We set tomorrow for a date. Been really excited. Then she sent this:

"I tried calling earlier, I'm putting dating on a hold at the minute, not sure what i want. I don't want to mess you around so thought I would let you know"

How do i respond??

I need your help please?

She just gave you the classic, "It's me not you." She's doing this because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Realistically, if a girl finds a guy that she wants to date or potentially wants a relationship she isn't going to let him get away so she can figure out what she wants.

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He's right.

Last week just before valentines she text me this:

'We haven't really dated have we? I guess we started'

What does that mean?

She was so into me man i dont understand. I tried to stay so un needy and cool. F**kkng cant believe this man
Seriously hurts

Doesn't sound like you weren't on the same page as her.

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As in she didnt know we were dating or not dating? The great start was amazing chemistry everything. From november to xmas, then she bumped into her ex. From jan onwards saw each other once then 5week break til now. I tried to play it very cool. I thought she was just so badly hurt from her ex a year ago.

What can i do should i message her, call her? Ignore her? Any smart ideas?

Is there a chance me being uit unavailable to her could have done to?

Did you hump her? I'm guessing no.

On the second date yeh. But she lives far away over 1hr drive and she works in central london. It was hard seeing each other then getting somewhere to do it. We both live at home

What if i just reply suprised like laugh and say 'what! Were we exclusive?' In a funny way like i had other options. What do you think?

Sometimes silence is your best option. Something tells me, that's not the option you want.

If you really want to work things out, you have to find out what's going on. The best way to find out is to talk to her like a friend. Say something like, "Sounds like you have a lot going on." If she responds with a "yes" or something to that nature, ask her what it is. If she doesn't want to talk to you about it, she's trying to blow you off. If she starts opening up, try to understand where she's coming from and be comforting(Hey, comfort is the second step in seduction).

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You're doing it all wrong lol

What do you mean? What should I do?

You should not reply, go NC and move on with your life. That's what you should do.

What you should not be doing is sending a girl you haven't seen in 3 weeks flowers for vDay.

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I just thought she thought i didnt like her. Thats why I sent the flowers. Long story but she acted suprised like 'why would i like her' at times. And i played the whole thing very cool and uneedy. Shit man this hurts...

She mentioned her ex a few times. Thought she has been realy hurt and keeps her distance to avoid pain

I cant grasp this man. All these emotions, reading people, its so bloody complex i never know the right move or thing to do...

Always get hurt

And before anyone says the whole 'needy' and abundance thing, im dating another girl and messaging two others i flsked on another. But i just really fallen for this girl.