Now Ive been walking around and say I spot a girl I might like to know either on the street or say a shopping centre. Now I'm not that bothered by AA and I know that if I felt like it I would just walk right up to her and start talking.

I'm aware of the issues some people have with one-ittis and won't fall for it, and even if she's not interested or rejects me it doesn't really bother me because Ive read the MM book and understand the principles behind it.

However I still don't open because I don't see the point. Most likely she will be polite and make small chit chat but it usually wont amount to anything.
Also girls are not stupid, most PUA guides think they can pretend the guy just happens to be there asking for their opinions on something or by just useing a situational opener they can secretly work there way in.

Cmon when a guy approaches a girl for whatever reason she pretty much knows whats up, lets not kid ourselves.
The reason I'm don't open is because its that I feel kinda lame, trying to start up conversation with someone I never met before. She knows what I'm trying to do, she will probably be polite reply to a few things make a bit of chat if you drive the conversation forward ect.

But will it lead to anything? and will she give you her phone number? or even bother to meet with you again? usually not. Most likely she wont show any interest back, your little conversation was done and now its over and you havnt really gotten anywhere.
Plus I just feel so lame chasing girls around, people know what your trying to do, and really for her to like you back in that instant is very slim because you could be anybody, even a burglar.

So why should I open when most likely it won't amount to anything, and I will end up looking lame infront of her and maybe to other people who were secretly watching. (yes we know some people will be watching and be pretending their not).

Is my game broken or have I gone and got the whole mentality thing wrong? because I think Ive lost alot of motivastion to run game.
Buts its also lame to be the only guy not to have a girlfriend when everyone else you know has one.

Am I looking at this all wrong? I just don't wanna approach....look pathetic...converse...then she leaves ect....and repeat ect...and not really get anywhere.

Any thoughts on this matter, I'm not sure if I'm right or am I just playing the game all wrong?

_________________
Now looking back at all we've had...
we let so many dreams just slip through our hands...
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?

THIS IS CALLED AA...first of all
Ok, now ur very paranoid about what other people think here. Ur not just concerned about the girl's reaction, which would be reason enough to have AA. Are u that concerned about what some random bystander that u'll never see again thinks about ur approach to a woman? U've gotta get over that at least dude. Who cares.

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Its not actually AA its more like reasoning. Cos here I make my decision on reasoning not on how nervous or scared of rejection I am.

And no I don't really care what other people think about me, I do care though on what I think about myself and how I will come off I did try to game her.

_________________
Now looking back at all we've had...
we let so many dreams just slip through our hands...
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?

Here's what I've seen from your post... don't take it personal, because we all need to be honest with each other here.

You've demonstrated low self-esteem and guilt complex.

You feel like you're doing something lame by hitting on a girl. You're not - you're paying her a compliment. You just made her day. Were you ever insulted when a girl tried to flirt with you? Even if you weren't interested? Of course not! It was a boost to your ego. It's nice to have someone find you attractive, and that made a positive impact for the rest of your remaining day.

And if talking to her amounts to nothing, so what? What did you really lose from it? A few minutes of your time? What if it DID go somewhere? What do you gain? A potential date? Maybe a relationship of some kind?

You're right. The girl isn't stupid and knows what you're trying to do. That's no reason not to hit on her. If you provide stimulating conversation, she'll enjoy it.

If you see a girl you find attractive, just go sarge her. Don't wait for all these reasons to crop up in your head. Your mind will start finding reasons for you NOT to talk to her, because it's trying to validate any fears you may be feeling.

Hope this helped.

Wow your good blak000 your grasp of the game is better then mine for that I gave you some rep points. Thanks for sharing your opinion with me you shed some light on the muddle of confusing in my mind.

Ok so its true I would be flattered if a girl tried to flirt with me, but does the reverse hold true? I don't know why but I get the impression that girls get annoyed when you try to hit on them, like "oh no another guy what a bother" kind of thing.

So which is it really do they like the attention or are you just getting in their way? I'm not sure.

_________________
Now looking back at all we've had...
we let so many dreams just slip through our hands...
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?

They'll be annoyed if you use AFC material (lame lines, act all nervous around them, etc.). If you act confident and funny, they'll love you for it.

If they truly didn't want guys to hit on them, they wouldn't take the time to dress nice. Remember that. They want attention.

Hmm while that does make sense blak000 I'll like to de-mystify some things. Ok brace yourselves now.

Girls dress nice because it makes them feel more confident. The main reason they do this is not because they want to attract attention from men, it is because they want to attract attention from other women! they are litterally competing with each other.

Didn't you ever feel better when you see you have a better car then someone else? or when you have bigger muscles? what if your a manager and most of your friends just work in a warehouse? it subconciously makes you feel better about yourself and you just feel good. Its the same with girls in the looks department.

Most people don't relise why girls like to dress up but this is the real reason unless they are specifically out looking for a man.

_________________
Now looking back at all we've had...
we let so many dreams just slip through our hands...
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?

Interesting point.

Everyone is different, though. We can come up with all the theories we want, but we'll never truly know what motivates each individual girl to dress the way they do; we can only make broad assumptions. I don't want to make it sound as if I'm saying you're wrong; your argument sounds perfectly reasonable, but I'm sure there are some girls who do it also to get attention from the guys.

Regardless, I still believe that they will find the experience enjoyable if you hit on them properly (not like an AFC). The past few years, I've been an AFC (aftermath of dating a HB behaviorist for 4 years - she rewired my brain). There's been some times when I've crash and burned - and skidded a few feet afterwards - but it's usually because I approached it all wrong. I'd feel guilty about hitting on the women, and it would translate itself through my posture and body language.

Before that, though, I used to be a pretty big flirt with women. I used to be ridiculously cocky, and spit game on every girl I saw. Judging from how they reacted, I honestly felt like they all had a good time. They would laugh and flirt back, and a few would ask me to meet them after work. I think the reason why I was successful then was because I KNEW they would enjoy it, even before I said anything to them. It was a big joke between the girl and me: I'd tease her about how much she wanted me, and she tease me back about how she didn't. If you spit game well, none of them take offense at it.

Everyone enjoys meeting new people. It's an enriching experience. Nobody wants to meet someone who they find annoying or a potential burden. Girls view AFCs in that way. AFC's are just lame dudes who try to spit weak game and throw lame, cheesy lines at them. They're the ones that make girls roll their eyes and think, 'Oh God, not another one.'

But an intelligent and confident guy? Why would any woman object to that? When one of those kinds of guys hits on her, it gives her something to brag about for the rest of the day (and you know she will). Once I realized that, it translated through my body language, and I started getting a positive response again. I truly believe it's all about HOW you hit on them that decides whether they'll enjoy it or not.

Just my 2 cents.

Dude, ur gay. And that's not a bad thing in and of itself. But when it leads to you having a shitty nick like urs, it is. Change that God damn thing. You are a beast in training. Your game is PROGRESSING!

Alright game.... That's your new name. Just "Game". First of all, in my eyes, the only reason you do anything as a PUA is to increase your attraction level. Whether you're portraying it to your target, to the targets friend, to the fat lady at the pizza counter or just (and most importantly) to yourself, it's all about increasing your attraction level.

That is the whole purpose for opening, because it gives you a chance to portray the other awesome aspects of your character.

Next, if the girl knows why you approached, I (and this is just me personally) consider that a failure. You've already projected interest. When I open a set, the chick has NO CLUE why I'm talking to her or her group. My friends, they have come to know that I will talk to anyone for any reason. Because as long as I'm showing that I fucking run the show, I will decide who I talk to and who I don't, I'm increasing my social value and thus my attraction. And, it makes it totally natural for me to open a hottie if I'm opening and talking to everyone anyways.

Here's another thought you need to keep in your head. "This moment doesn't matter." In other words, who cares what the fuck happens right now? What matters is where your game is going. If you're so focused on NOW you might accidentally get laid and assume your game is tight, only to find out the following night that you're fumbling again. If you're always thinking FUTURE, in that "What I am doing right now will make me a better PUA tomorrow or in six months or in 10 years" you are always doing something important. Even if you choke or fuck up, it's like, "Shit, I'm learning and I'll remember that shit. It won't happen again."

Good luck Game. You're a pimp in there somewhere.

well if you dont want to approach, you dont really need this forum. rely on social networking to find a girl. unfortunetly i dont have a large network of friends so i have to sarge.

how about you just approach if you get an IOI. then u will know that shes attracted to you, and it wont feel so pointless opening her

there are still people out there who talk to strangers (male or female) just because they like to, not because they are trying to pick that person up. just pretend you are one of those kind of people, and u can approach anyone

Ok so the guy is saying its not AA, its just rationalization.

DUDE, YOU'RE RATIONALIZING IT FOR YOURSELF AS A REASON NOT TOO APPROACH, STOP BEING A DOUCHE AND DO IT!!!! I used to have AA BIG TIME like OMG, and I would do the same stuff, just tell myself that she would see it and play nice for a while and that's it. The point of the game is to be attractive, cool, fun, and confident. Girls love this shit and will always be attracted to it. If you display these characteristics well, girls won't care if they can see your shit or not. WHY? You ask? BECAUSE YOU'RE A F%$&ING COOL GUY YOU DUNCE!!!!! Stop kidding yourself, come up with some openers that you see as "not corny" and do it already. I can't say much because I did the same thing, but I'll tell you the same thing people told me, STOP BEIN A POON AND GO OUT THERE AND GET SOME!!! Have a good time

Pill

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I've made a promise I intend to keep.

replying to my_game_suxs

Yeah. Your game is broken. If you do something wrong but are willing to repeat a thousand times, will you get the result that you want? Hellz no.

Go open 10 girls, use a different opener every time. See what happens. If that doesn't work, it probably cuz you have poor body language. But at least learn from your failures.

Thx for the comments guys, I'm short on time and I'll reply properly later. And yeah good point I better change my nick.

_________________
Now looking back at all we've had...
we let so many dreams just slip through our hands...
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?

Okay first, you handle/tag sux. Talk about an affirmation, if I were you I'd change that. Yes this is AA, you are just a very analytical thinker. You may be used to the situation and no longer recognize what most people would consider AA. OR have you conditioned yourself not to approach so well that you won't feel anxiety since in reality, you aren't even close to approaching??? I am also an analytical thinker, real visceral AA is fucking awesome and I love it, but in reality like you I used to reject myself (WHICH IS WHAT YOU ARE DOING) with my own internal dialog that sounded frighteningly like yours. Fact: you have low self esteem, despite the many interests that you may have, you do not feel that you are interesting,or have something to offer. There is a psychological term with this (that my shrink gave me lol). I feel like I don't have anything to offer but I know that's not the case.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THINKING, FEELING and BELIEVING ARE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS

I also have one final possibility, if you don't have AA but you aren't approaching. Maybe you don't want to do PU. Not all people have to do pick up.

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and I think... I think too much

Ok think about it like this. Theres a girl, she attracted to you, but too shy to show it, and theres no chance in hell she's gonna approach you. So if you dont approach her how are you ever gonna get together.

Yeah they know or suspect, its part of the game to not make it obvious. If you're good they wont know, or e.g situational opener. Then when you neg or disqualify they'll think your not intrested.

Just go for the # close and see what happens. If your game is tight, you should get the # most of time.

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To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.