HB9 broke up with me today, as apparently due to the fact I sometimes throw up in the morning it brings back her feelings of anxiety she used to experience when she suffered from that and depression. Apparently too, as she knows I suffer from depression, my mood can also get her down - even though I have never let it show to her to any extent my negative feelings / outlook. I go to therapy every week to keep it at bay and learn to manage it, and am conscious of never letting it show.

She ended breaking up with me by asking how I wanted to leave it, i.e. Us keep talking as friends or understanding I may not want to keep talking to her. We had a big pregnancy scare about a month ago which she naturally panicked, however as we expected it was a false alarm. Last week I called her out for not seeming to make an effort to see each other, then she told me it was difficult to maintain interest in me when I'm not in contact much and am not exactly "forthcoming" with my emotions. Which is ironic, as she is a closed book as far as that is concerned. Her sister is a model and thus the HB9 does seem to have some self esteem issues.

I do know she has father issues which she was always reluctant to talk about. She was always the one texting me first and arranging to SPAM me at uni though which is strange, as I was the one trying to arrange us meeting up, admittedly by persuading her to come up to me.

Anyway, Saturday morning I woke up at hers feeling ill, puked then she went off for a bit then told me I bring back her anxiety when I'm ill - despite doing it privately in the bathroom with no mess, and that my mood is negative afterwards. It's not - I'm just recovering from vomiting.

We were on the phone yesterday for an hour as I tried to persuade her to continue the relationship, however she seemed somewhat indifferent and pragmatic. She felt it had been too stressful already despite it not having gone on long (we have been dating since January).

She told me to text her in a few days when I knew how I wanted to leave it, however I'm really not sure what to do. I have fallen in love for this girl, whilst realising her imperfections and all. I want her to come back to me, and will do whatever is best for making that happen.

I'm going to make an effort to meet new people etc, I just really do like this girl.

Thanks for any help guys.

Just out of curiosity, why do you vomit in the mornings sometimes? That doesn't sound normal.

Despite all of the messed up shit you went through in this relationship, it's great that you don't seem really bitter or angry about it. That's what I can guess from your writing, at least. You've got a better start than lots of guys getting into pickup.

However, you need to let go of this girl 100%, at least for now. And don't let that process turn you bitter, either. Anger will only be a hinderance.

Try to keep an open mind when meeting new people and avoid making comparisons between the new women you meet with your ex. Everyone has their own form of value that you won't be able to fully understand immediately.

The throwing up isn't as much of an issue as she made it out to be. She just wasn't feeling the way she used to and so she's looking for a reason why. She'll point to this today, and if you guys continue she'll point to something else tomorrow.

Your emotional state is the main issue. You currently want her more than you want to feel like yourself again. She's become more of a priority than you standing independently. That would mean you're leaning on her. You want her to come back so you can feel better again. And women aren't exactly great at being leaned on. They're usually looking for someone they can lean on.

You want the girl? You're going to have to show yourself that you can be okay with out her. You have to detatch. Until that's done she'll be out of reach. You have to let go. It's hard and it will hurt. I wrote an article called " Going Through A Break Up? Read This Now" that I will post on the forum for you a little later.

But in the meantime just stand clear man. I wouldn't contact her in a couple days. I'd wait until I got myself emotionally independent, because that's the only way to make the impression that she will want to return to. She doesn't want the guy you've become. She wants the guy you used to be. The guy that wasn't sulking and posting on forums. You have to find him. He's not here. He's inside. Get back to the behaviors you were taking part in when you met her. Those holds the answer you're looking for.

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Thanks for all the help guys. Felt a little better the past few days but today I feel like I have currently relapsed and am feeling quite depressed. I feel that everything I'm pursuing in my life i.e. my degree, bodybuilding are shallow pursuits taken up to get girls etc. Although I do enjoy going to the gym. I really miss this girl, but still haven't contacted her. I'm in the frame of mind to do whatever is most likely to work i.e. get her back in a healthy way.