Hi guys,

I know this must be the ten thousandth time you've heard this topic, but I'll say mine anyway:

I met this girl, Jen, last year at a sporting event. We are both members of a club that has random events around the country and so we kind of have this social circle thing with people from around the country. Jen was REALLY into me when we met, I mean she was totally head over heels for me, and we kept in contact thru text/SPAM as she lives in Sacramento and I live in Phoenix. Anyways, we kept this up for about 4 months and everything went awesome, she really really wanted me to come visit her in Sacramento but I was really busy with work and couldn't. Finally, after I saw that she was not responding as often as she used to and was acting cold/distant, I broke up with her.

Two weeks later, I was really missing her and decided to go to an event in Philadelphia where she would also be, and I tried to get back together with her. While I felt that she really missed me too and was giving me IOI's, she was still pushing back. I, of course, went total AFC on her and started acting totally needy/desperate, told her how much I loved/cared for her, and all that jazz. I felt she really liked me too, but was probably still hurt because I broke up with her and still was emotionally hurt by it. So we left the event and I called her a couple days later saying I would come visit her in Sacramento that weekend. She agreed to SPAM me and it was then that she told me not to come to Sacramento, even though I told her I wanted to visit her when we were at the event and she never objected then. I even gave her my hat to hold onto and told her I'd pick it up when I came to visit her and she smiled.

I'm totally bummed by what happened as I still have strong feelings for her and I know she does too, but I'm not sure what else I can do to get her back. I did no contact for about 30 days after she told me not to come to Sacramento. Then just a couple days ago I Facebook messaged her telling her how sorry I was for the hurtful things I did/said to her and told her that I was ok with the breakup. She responded and said she was also ok with it and not to worry because she's not hurt and everything is fine.

So here's my question guys: Is there still a chance for us to get back together? There will be another event in March where we will meet up again and I'm wondering what to do. I'm not the type of guy who finds it difficult to get women, I'm usually very good with the ladies and always have a bunch of girl friends who I talk to and keep in touch with. In fact, I'm one of the most socially savvy guys in the club. BUT I really like this girl, and although I know that's AFC talk lol, I still would like to know if there's a way to get back with her and what I should do at the event in March.

Any help you guys could give would be greatly appreciated! Thanks

Girl is done with you man. She's being really clear about that, too, so I'm not sure what to tell you.

Continuing to push in a really needy way, like you are, isn't going to get you anything but more worked up.

She doesn't want to work on things with you. She doesn't want you visiting. To me, it also sounds like she may be with someone else now, too.

Start dating others. You say you have no problems with this - so go to town...

Your best bet with this girl is a jealousy angle anyway... You're FB friends? Make sure she sees what a great time you're having with other hot girls.

"I'm not the type of guy who finds it difficult to get women, I'm usually very good with the ladies and always have a bunch of girl friends who I talk to and keep in touch with."

Do/did you have sex with these girls ?

I'll tell you like I told another forum member.

You care about her more than you care about yourself and because of it you've become a burden. You've become a weight on her shoulders and this is why she now resents you. You're draining her. You're free loading off of the energy she brings into your life. Who wouldn't be numb to a free loader? She's lost respect for you because you've put her desires too far before your own. And once a woman loses respect for you; her love for you goes right out the window. It happens to the best of us so don't be so hard on yourself. But you must fucking chill. Any action you take from the mindset that you are currently in is going to push her further away from you than she is now. If you make absolutely ZERO attempts to reach out to her again she WILL come back when you least expect it. But remember I said ZERO! So before you do something stupid like send her a 500 word text or give her a call remember that the action will ruin the 100% guarantee that she WILL return if and ONLY if you make ZERO attempts to contact her again.

Every attempt at contact after that point reduces the chances of her returning by 50%.. But as long as you do NOT, you have a 100% chance that she will return. I swear to you before God.. No woman is special and they all do the same shit.

Work Out, read books, and go hang out with buddies. It's tough to read with a broken heart i know. Its tough to work out with a broken heart also, but you must power yourself through it man. Its the only way. Just power yourself through making improvements and SHE WILL return when you least expect it.

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Great post Eddie, lots of respect you my man - that's probably the most logical way in which I've read how to deal with such a scenario

Thanks alot guys! Deep down inside I know you guys are right, and I have immense respect for the pickup community which has taught me so much over the years. I've been acting total AFC with this girl, but I know now I have to just let her go. When I see her in March, I'm just gonna treat her like a friend and that's it, nothing more. Who knows? I might even meet someone else there and do the same thing that guy from Swingers did, not even call her back when she calls me