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1. If she tells your girl about the facebook thing that means you have to proceed a bit more carefully.
-If your gf asks why you added her, say that all of yall are friends. Look at her wierd. If she brings it up after that, deny deny deny. Act like she is crazy for suggesting that there is anything behind it. "I have friends on facebook I haven't talked to in years, but we actually go out with Amanda, so I sent a request, quit over thinking this, it's facebook!" Keep that stance.
2. All contacts with this girl either over phone or facebook should sound innocent. All escalation should be in person, period. Don't leave a trail and give your self the ability to deny later in case shit goes down. Its not only that the girl could show it to your gf, it's also that Amanda's BF might see some shit. So keep that in mind.
I've done exactly this thus far. My girl was suspicious and I said we went out with her, I have hundreds of friends on fb, ect.
Problem is, Amanda hasn't accepted the request yet. To message or not to message, that is the question. I havn't asked her about the christmas gift thing yet.
Until she accepts I'd go no contact. Personally I'd let this die down a bit, and the only contact I'd have with Amanda is if your girl wants to invite her out again.
And seriously, put your foot down with your girl. Adding someone on facebook? Adding a girl you actually hang out with and has a bf on facebook? That should not be suspicious. Did she ask about it innocently or did she act like what you did was wrong?
Either your girl is extremely perceptive and can smell this shit a mile away or she has jealousy issues.