Never held hands with a girl. So tonight was unfogettable. My third time out. Went to a dance club with a wing I met online.

This is a field report with many questions. Hope you find it helpful and would really appreciate any feedback.


Was waiting in line and my wing started talking to a pair HB8 and HB5 behind us. They asked how we knew each other. To get them interested, we made up a funny story. They really wanted to know and kept guessing.

I did push/pull. I was careful to not compliment the girl unless she really earned it. My friend guessed that she was from country X. The girl said she was insulted. I chided the girl for being predujice. I think this increased her attraction to me beause it showed I wouldn't kiss up. Same with when the girl showed us her ID. We made fun of her photo. Final thing I did well was being non-reactive. I recently started meditation and it really helps.

Here is the mind-blowing part. The HB8 tried to game me. Her hands were all over me. At one point, she even took my hand and ran it through her hair. I've always been too nervous to interact with girls so this blew my mind.

How did I respond? Terribly. I just didn't know how to escalate. Me and my wing were in front of her in line. When we were ready to enter the club I looked at the girl, said “it was nice meeting you, maybe I’ll see you later" and gave her a formal handshake. I could see it in her eyes, “oh, I didn’t realize you were chump to afraid to escalate on me.”!!! The dissapointment was unmistakable. She immediatley switched from attracted to repelled. wanted me to make a move and I blew it.

Problem:
I don't think I was too afraid to do something. It just seemed irrational unintelligent to attempt escalation. Smple reason: I thoughtI had the whole night. Unforutnatley, I never saw her again.

Bigger Problem
If you had told me that would be the last time i'd see her, what wuold I have done?
I could have gone in and danced with her but i can't dance. i could have gotten a drink with her but it was too noisey to talk. Maybe just said "you're attractive, lets go for a walk or something instead of going to the club so we can talk and get to know each other." But I think it would be important for to do a minimum in the club showing i'm a fun person for her to say yes. Plus she had a friend.
So I’m asking what I should have done? And would really appreciate any responses. All my specific concerns are below

Number close

The second I got in, my wing couldn’t believe I didn’t number close. Should I have just said (moments before leaving her???), give me your number so we can connect in a bit? Should I have said “give me your number so we can connect tomorrow”? How important is it to demonstrate sexual interest first before asking for ther number?

Friend

She was with a friend, I thought If I came on too strong, the friend might cockblock. What should I have done?

Kino

The giurl kino'd me,. I didn't know how to kino back. At one point, I reached out to touch her back and missed. She looked at my hand and it was awkward. So I failed with kino. I just didn’t know what the hell to do

Conversation

I also was unable to make the conversation about sex.

Opportunities

Should I have said, "I heard country x has some good underwear models"? She talked about how she dyed her hair. Should I have just said?... “you should stop doing that, you’ll be more sexy” she told me about her job selling heavy machinery. How do I make that sexual? She talked a bit about how she does red carpet events? As pathetic as this is I don’t even know how to make THAT sexual. I thought her name was sexy, should I have said that? At one point she said her friend kees her out of trouble. Was that an opportunity?
And again, was this the wrong time to go sexual given that her friend was there. My wing said I should have just slowed down and looked in her eyes seductivley. Thoughts?

Pulling

My apartment is next to the club. Having been gamed by a girl in that club (which I never thought would happen), I realize this is a great opporuntity. Do I say, hey lets get out of line and go to my apartment. Do I text her 30 min. later and say lets go outside? How do I pull? I also know a cool garden nearby I’d be just as happy taking girls there. Is that a better option?

Dance

I can’t dance. Should I make it a a priority. if I learn how to dance, then next time do I just say, come in with me and who me your moves?

Social Circle

my wing was creepy (not to be mean). I think this was actually an opportunity. the girl gravitated to me because my wing repelled her. i'm in a new city with no friends working long hours. any tips on building a social circle? any tips on gaming for friends when i walk into a club"? Should I try to find wings who are less attractive than me?

one more question: at one point, the girl said that my friend and I would have "done better" if we'd told her up front how we knew each other (I eventually told her). I don't believe this. We cleary engaged her and she was clearly attracted. But I wasn't sure how to respond to her implied assertion that we were trying to win her approval. I was pretty damn non-reactive and I think that's why she was attracted. I think this was a shit-test. She wanted us to admit that we were trying to win her approval. I think I passed by deliberatley misinterpreting what she meant. Is that a good strategy.

Sincere thanks for any responses.