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Your right. Its easier said than done. Look at it more as is easier to say than to accomplish the end result. Its easy to speak to yourself positively. Think of what you desire more than what you don't desire. Its that simple but if your looking for a quick fix to the problem then you'll become accustomed to the "easier said than done" way of operating. When you say you find out they are a flirt you mean they're only leading you on and they aren't interested? Maybe you need to examine the way you go about furthering things once you get the initial interest. Since I don't know what you do that causes you to get flaky responses I'll give you a bit of general advice. Lead the woman. Don't ask her questions about what she wants. She wants to be led. Seduction happens between the things that are said. Solidarity and safety will kill seduction.
"When you say you find out they are a flirt you mean they're only leading you on and they aren't interested?"
Exactly,
I do escalate as physically as possible. But I do the simple things sometimes such as holding their hands but I have never really gone for the kiss confidently (and I stress on confidently) when I talk to a girl I usually ask open ended questions that make her think so as far as conversing goes I am fine especially when I am feeling real good