A different kind of Push/Pull.



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 3:51 pm 
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I hope you guys can help me with this problem.

I've dated beautiful and popular girls. When we see each other I use push/pull, which works and I have had sex with the girls. The girls text me several times a week, and responds when I text them. But the problem is that it is ALWAYS me asking them if they want to meet up. The girls almost always say yes, but I still feel that I lower my value, since it is always me who takes the initiative to meet. I've tried to wait a few weeks where I do not ask them, but they still do not ask me if I want to do something together with them. The girls are quite popular and after a few weeks I ask them if they want to get together because I am afraid they might lose interest and just find another guy.

I have experienced a girl that lost interest after a few months. I used a lot of push/pull when we saw each other but I was always the one taking the initiative to meet up. Thus, I chased her and I think it was the reason she lost interest and left.

It's hard for me to use push/pull in this context because I do not get the opportunity to use push, for example by saying that I can not see her on a particular day she wants to meet. So should I wait even longer to see if they will ask me and thereby risking that they never ask and instead lose interest? Or should I ask them if they want to meet and accept that I then lower my value and may then lose the girl? What are your experiences and thoughts about this kind of push/pull?


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 7:52 am 
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You don't lower your value when you ask them to hang out or go on a date. Women expect you to take the wheel, and lead the way! If they come up with a bullshit excuse or flake, and you continue to ask them out only to get shot down, that lowers your value. Sure, after you've had a couple of nights with them and get them hooked, it's not unexpected that they text you for a booty call, but you shouldn't think too much of this. Continue to take the initative, just don't be needy about it!

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Alea iacta est - The die has been cast


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 1:49 pm 
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Ok, thanks! I have probably just over analysed this hole thing. :D


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 12:09 pm 
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It's true that you in some sense are "supposed to lead". But your gut feeling that something maybe isn't quite right still has some validity. The question probably still frets your mind - why doesn't she chase you? There are a few possible reasons I can think of:

1. She isn't interested. Being the leader here doesn't take you anywhere.
2. She is interested, but not enough.
3. She is shy and timid. In this case, just take the lead!

As you probably understand, case 1 and 2 all boils down to one thing - making that impression that lasts! It sounds to me as if you make a mediocre impression on the girls, so you probably need to work on that. Try to give a girl a night she will never forget (in a good way)! When I have made an impression, the girl can't wait for me to call her. Instead, she is all over me, texts me all the time, calls me all the time etc.

Doing such an impression can require tremendous effort. It's all about getting into state, or "in the zone", which in my case can be as hard as turning an oil tanker by giving it a push with my bare hands. But sometimes I'm just there without knowing how I got there. So don't blame yourself if you don't succeed everytime. Here are some things that make it easier:

1. Being in the right company, with people who give you energy, stimulate your mind and make you feel good about yourself.
2. Talking to girls who you have chemistry with, and makes you feel good too, and ignore other girls.
3. Gain social momentum by going out frequently. My best pickup ever was after going out every day for a whole week. I got better and better results with every night out.

When in state, my brain goes Speedy Gonzales and girls find me very funny and stimulating, and I have to step on the breaks and hold back. If I don't, things go out of control. This can be good to keep in mind. ;)


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 1:42 pm 
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Taking the lead and pushing to meet up or make plans isn't DLV.

Some girls just don't do that - they wait for the guy to do it... and that's fine.

If they're consistently saying yes, there's nothing to worry about... means they want to be there, regardless of which one of you asked.


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