I just came back into PU and the forum after a long hiatus and this is the first thread I saw. Gutdamn bro, I swear your every sentence you type follows the same structure, (word word K-close word Kclose word F-close) You're fuckin clearing house! Damn Impressive. You've given me the motivation to get back into this. Thanks for that. hahaha
I'm curious though, how the hell do you get such consistent closes within 5 minutes or whatever? How do your typical conversations go?

So far from what I've read (or skimmed through if I'm being honest) you open with anything and end with your K-Close routine.. the French Goodbye, I'm stealing that one by the way

But what do you say to fill up the conversation and get things moving fast?

I'm asking because I want to minimize my time between sets and do quicker bounces. My usual MO before the hiatus was street game and I used to spend nothing less than 20 minutes talking to a girl I meet and even then I wouldn't K-Close but I would get a number and meet at a later date where I would then bounce her to my place.

I'm used to longer, get-to-know-her a bit type of conversations and it has worked out decently for me but sometimes I feel I can minimize that time and even achieve same day lays and K-Closes which you seem to be good at.

So back to my original question. What sorts of conversations do you have that let you minimize your time with them while still being able to bounce them the same day? Is it just random shit and then K-close routine or do you have a pattern you follow? Don't know how to phrase this better.haha

I hope the question made sense.

Thursday, March 27, 2014
My test got pushed back to Monday, which is bittersweet--it gives me more time to study, but now I feel compelled to stay in and study the whole weekend (god forbid I go out gaming this weekend and end up failing my retake exam, I would feel too guilty). Prior to today, I spent the past three days inside my apartment, with the blinds closed (I have not been outside my apartment since Monday afternoon). I did not see another human being for three days! (Goddamn, this has been a dreary week.) Last week I kept telling Enso how awesome my life had become, how great I felt and in state. These past three days I have felt like Walter White at the end of Breaking Bad, cooped up alone in a cabin after a wild ride. Today I had enough of pretending to be Howard Hughes so I left the confines of my apartment and went to a bookstore to study. As I studied at the bookstore coffee shop, I heard one of the baristas start a conversation with some girl. He asked her what T cells did. (I guess she was grading papers, judging by the conversation. It was obvious he wanted summa dhat booty.) I wanted to chime in with my med school knowledge and commit the robbery, but, when I turned to look at the girl, she was not good, not good at all. So I reburied my face into my monitor and learned about Wegener's granulomatosis (about as far as you can get from game). Shit sucked.

I'm DEFINITELY missing the game, and it's only been four days. That's how addicting this shit gets. Haha. Shittily enough, three girls who flaked on me the past few weeks texted me out of the blue. The first wanted me to hangout with her Tuesday night. I declined because I had to study. The second said she was drunk at her parents' house, but that she would be down to hangout afterward. I told her to come study with me, that it would be fun because I study naked, but she just replied, "lol". I didn't push any further because I had to study. I arranged a day two with the last tomorrow, but, after learning today that my test had been postponed, I texted her and told her we would reschedule to Monday or some other time next week. She'll probably flake now, but oh well. Splits texted me about an hour ago: "Thirsty Thursday?". I told her I had to study for an exam. I miss my girls. I miss game! Definitely looking forward to getting this bitchass test out of the way and enjoying my spring break next week. Till then, players...

If I have anything come up before then, I'll post. Ooh, ooh, the exogenous lipoprotein pathway!

Friday, March 28, 2014
I wasn't going to go out tonight because I have been cramming like a motherfucker, but I texted Enso and he said he was at a music festival pretty close to my apartment. I figured fuck it, I can take a break for 15 minutes and go say what up. I left my apartment, unshaven, hair not freshly cut, wearing a T-shirt, sport shorts, and flip-flops and met up with Enso and another wing at a bar down the street from my pad. As we were talking on the street, Enso spotted a two set walking in our direction. He said he had to open. I said I would do it because I hadn't opened anything in the past four fucking days. He wanted to watch so I rolled up on them. I think I asked them what they were up to or something, then I just started spitting out whatever popped into my head. I had one girl targeted, and I told her we should grab coffee sometime, but she said she was married with a kid and even showed me the ring to prove it. So, what did I do? I immediately switched targets. My other wing was in set at this point so I knew he could keep my original target occupied as I sneakily swapped. Enso was hanging back admiring my mad game (more on this later). My new target said something like, "Oh, you're just going to switch like that?" I said yeah, and kept talking her ear off. I ended up number-closing her and arranging a coffee date in the near future. I went for the K-close with the French goodbye, but I got the cheeks.

I went back home to study, but after about 30 minutes, I said fuck this shit and texted Enso. Enso and my other wing came by and scooped me up, then we headed to another bar not far from my place. It was pretty weak, but Enso and I hit our three approaches. One of my opens was a girl standing by herself against the wall. Long story short, I number-closed her, tried to K-close but again got the cheeks.

Enso and I left that joint because we weren't feeling it and we wanted to game so we bounced from Downtown to head to our usual gaming zone. While we were on the light rail, I got a text from the first girl I met tonight asking how the studying was going. I told her I took a break and ended up going out after all. She was still in Downtown, and she wanted the tip. But I wanted to game so I wasn't going to go back to her. She said she wanted to study with me tonight though, and I told her to come to my apartment at 2 a.m. She said she really wanted to study (i.e., she really wanted the tip) and that she would be down for it if she was still awake at that time. Ah, fuck me. I knew it wasn't gonna happen. We got to our gaming zone and did three approaches at the bar we usually go to to pre-game and one on the street between each venue. We headed to one of our usual bars. The line was long. As we waited in line, Smith joined up with us. Enso K-closed two girls with his new Sour Skittle opener. He did it in front of my fucking face because he wanted to outgame me. I'll give him credit for those opens, I will, but I knew I had to go hard once we got inside to reclaim my throne for the night.

I opened a lot of sets inside the bar. I opened one in particular. I didn't like her, but I told Enso if he got two K-closes and I didn't even get one tonight that I would dedicate every one of my future FRs to him. I couldn't allow that to happen. So I number-closed this chick (I think) and then K-closed with a peck. Weak. But it counts.

Enso opened a two set and led one to the dance floor. I grabbed the friend's hand and started dancing with her. I didn't like my girl. She looked like http://blogs.abc.net.au/.a/6a00e0097e4e ... 970b-300wi. But whatever, I figured I might as well try to bust. I think Enso's girl said she wanted to go to a country bar so he said we'd take them to one. We started mobbing out. I grabbed my chick's hand to pump up dhat kino. As we were walking on the street, my girl said her feet hurt. I told her I'd give her a piggyback ride. She climbed on my back and I walked her the rest of the way. I peeped Enso in my periphery carrying his chick like he was saving her from a burning building. I made my girl high five a two set as we walked by. I thought that would be a unique way of getting in my one approach on the street.

We got to the bar. As we were in line, I number-closed my girl and tried to K-close, but she said she had a boyfriend. I told her relationships suck dick, and she said I was right. She also said she was mad at her boyfriend. Enso got the makeout from his girl. Now he was at three makeouts, and I was at one measly-ass peck. I knew I had to put in work. I was going to go for the K-close from my girl again later in the night, but I bounced from her as soon as we got inside. Didn't want no part of dhat shit.

I saw Smith talking to a two set on the bar patio. I think he got blown out so I wanted to show him I had mad game. I opened them and isolated one of the girls, a blonde chick, in the corner of the patio. Enso rolled in and started talking to the friend. I ended up number-closing my chick and K-closed her with the French goodbye. She wouldn't makeout though.

I bounced from that set. Smith opened another set on the patio. That motherfucker is built for approaches. I talked to one of the girls, number-closed, and told her to French goodbye me. She wouldn't do it, but I persisted. I had to at least tie Enso with three pecks. Motherfucker. I looked her deep in her eye and said, "On the cheek again." As I did the cheeks, I turned my head so that my lips landed on hers. She laughed and said I was bad or some shit like that. I told her it already happened so we might as well go all the way. She obliged at this point, and we madeout. Enso, you dirty tramp, ask Smith for proof. Hahahahahahaha.

Last but not least (I guess), I opened a two set on the dance floor. I targeted the hotter one, but she bounced out of set and told me to talk to her friend. The friend was a'ight, but I wanted to beat Enso with K-closes. I danced with her "for four seconds" (what I often tell girls before dancing with them), number-closed, and madeout with her. After the first round of making out, I told her to do it again. I made sure to use a lot of tongue. Enso wasn't with me at the time so I couldn't do it in front of his face, but I was showing off for his spirit. I'm sure wherever he was at the time, he felt an uneasiness, like a weird, tingling prick surge through his body; and I like to think he knew it was happening because I was tongue fucking some random chick and beating him out on K-closes in the process. It's hard to outgame the master.

It was close to closing time at this point so I rolled out and caught the light rail alone. Weak. I wanted to bang something because I have gone the past six weeks getting new pussy, and this week will fuck up my roll. Goddamn studying. While I was on the light rail, I called all of the numbers I collected. Three girls picked up. I told them all to afterparty. One said she lived kinda close to my place, and I told her it was perfect then. Two of the three girls who picked up said they would maybe come afterparty, after dropping off their friends or some shit. (They had like the same exact story.) I knew they were going to fall asleep though. I texted them my address. I got off the rail, walked home, and fell asleep in my for-once clean apartment.

Overall night: Many numbers (not sure how many), four K-closes (two pecks and two makeouts, which puts me at 84 total so far this year. Enso beat me on the makeout part because he got three, but we called it a tie overall since I beat him in quantity.), no F-closes. I can't go out the next two nights because of this weak-ass studying, but I'll be back first thing Monday to game like a mad man.

Hey man, thanks for the comment. Let me know if you have any questions or anything. Stay tuned.

Thanks for the comment, dude. I don't follow any type of routine. I pretty much just open sets and say whatever pops into my head. If you're cocky/funny while doing it and the chicks are feeling you to at least an extent, that's all it takes. I don't like to spend a lot of times in sets unless I can tell outrightly that they're dtf. That's why I do approaches so quickly. As a general rule, try to K-close every girl you open. If you can't K-close (i.e., she rejects it), then go for the phone number as a last resort. Say whatever you want to say, be aggressive, and go for the K-close. If you get that, then go for the F-close. Game on, my man.

Saturday, March 29, 2014
So I lied at the end of my last post when I said I wasn't gonna go out the rest of the weekend. I made plans with the first girl I met last night, the one I opened in my sport shorts and flip-flops, to meet up at 8 p.m. at my go-to bar two blocks from my apartment. I met up with Enso a little before 8. He was at a music festival a few blocks away. He tried to get me in, but the ticket he gave me had already been scanned so I wasn't able to. He said he was going to pull 20 phone numbers at the festival so that he would be on my level. I don't know if he did or not. I forgot to ask him later on.

Anyway I bounced from Enso at the music festival and walked to the bar to meet up with chick. I showed up a few minutes late, how I always do, because I wanted her to sweat. The meet-up was cool. We got drinks. Midway through the date, she said something along the lines of "I know we're going to your place afterward" or some shit. I don't remember exactly what she said, but she said she knew what was going to happen when we went there. At the end of the meet-up, she paid her tab, and we walked outside, then to my place. (She wouldn't drive because she had been drinking.)

She played music on my laptop when we got back. I tried going for the lay after about 10 minutes of being inside. She kept turning her head when I leaned in to kiss her though. I kept upping the kino, rubbing her up everywhere. After a while, I got tired of bullshitting (and I had to meet the wings at 10) so I took off my clothes. Seriously works almost every time, guys. Last resort for breaking LMR. She got the message and started making out. Then it was fairly easy to bust that ass. I hit from the back with the lights on again. As soon as it was a done deal, I went into my bathroom and got dressed to go out. I came back out of my bathroom, and the chick asked if I was going somewhere. I said I had to meet up with some friends. She got really quiet. I didn't really care if she was mad, but I was gonna try to use her for a ride. So I started pampering her ass and ended up telling her that I wanted her to come with me and that we could cuddle at the end of the night. Weak, but I wanted that ride. Shit worked so we mobbed out, back to her car.

We got back to her car, which was at the bar where we had met up earlier, but of course she didn't walk back there to drive. She walked back to take shots of whiskey in her back seat. I guess I was game so we got in the back seat and took a few. Then we mobbed out and walked to the light rail station. Had I known I was going to take the rail, I would have never asked her to come. But whatever, I figured I would just take her out to a bar and then ditch her.

We got to my usual part of town around midnight. She wanted to meet up with her sister at some bar so we headed in that direction to meet up with her. As we were walking there, a car pulled up on the street and Enso popped his head out of the passenger window. He was with my other wing, Guru. They said they were going to a different bar down the road. I told them I'd hit them up in a while.

My girl and I met up with her sister. She had a few drinks at the bar, and she was getting pretty fucked up at this point. We bounced out of there to go meet up with Enso and Guru. We met up with them at the regular country bar we always go to. Smith was with them too. I didn't run any game since my chick was around. I still wanted to ditch her, but then I realized I had actually enjoyed fucking her and I've been trying to build the roster so I decided I'd let her stick around. Anyway, around 2 a.m., she suddenly peaced out of the bar. I'm not sure why, but I think she was just really drunk and wanted to go back to my place. I didn't follow her, and I figured that was perfect because I got to get away from her and she was the one who peaced. So I knew I could keep her on the roster without her being mad.

By this point, I wanted to bang something else so I called up Splits's drunk ass. (She consistently comes through in times of need.) She was in another part of town, but she was down to hangout. I told Enso I'd slip him a 20 if he went to pick her up, and he was game. So we bounced to go pick her up at some address she texted me. As we were driving, the girl who peaced out texted me. She said she was sitting at the light rail station alone, and that I didn't care. Lol. Too late for that, chica. I also got a text from my other regular, the one I went to San Diego with, telling me to stop sleeping and come over. Girls just can't get enough of the D.

I am a god.

We got to the address Splits had sent me (it was an apartment complex). I called her to ask which unit she was in, but she didn't pick up. I was worried she may have fallen asleep. We drove in the parking lot looking around. Then all of a sudden, Enso yelled out, "Wait! Is that Splits?!" I turned to look, and Splits was tongue fucking some motherfucker leaning against a tree. I got out of the car and ran up to her. She looked like a wife caught getting dicked down. Likes I gave a fuck. Homeboy rolled out. He knew he was getting robbed, but he probably also smiled inside, thinking, Oh, this is this chick's boyfriend, and I just tongue fucked his bitch. Nah nah, player. I suppose I did commit some form of robbery, albeit the lowest, nastiest, cheapest kind of robbery possible. I felt somewhat disgusted knowing I was gonna fuck a chick I straight up saw making out with another dude. But of course I knew I would just bang without kissing her. Game has to be done, and I am a goddam sex addict after all. http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=htt ... =0&ndsp=13

I got in the back seat of Enso's ride with Splits. She passed out almost as soon as she got in. Enso hated hard. I can't blame him after witnessing what we witnessed. I just told him I wasn't going to kiss her.

We got back to my place, and Enso told me to get the fuck out of his car because he was disgusted by me. Hahahahahahahaha. The first thing I did when we got inside my apartment was have Splits finger-brush her teeth and mouthwash. I still wasn't going to kiss her, but I didn't want some nasty motherfucker's saliva on my dick. *Shivers*

I got down to business pretty quickly. Splits knows the drill, and she's down as fuck. I hit from the back, lights on, then posted her up in her splits position. I enjoy banging her, but she bites so fucking hard and scratches the shit out of my back every time. Shit hurts. We cuddled somewhat afterward, naked as fuck, and fell asleep.

Overall day: one new F-close and one F-close from my regular, Splits. One K-close (from the new girl I F-closed), which puts me at 85 total so far this year. I'm glad I got my new F-close because it kept my streak going. It's now been seven weeks of getting new va-jay-jay each week. Nobody can outgame me! I'm well on my way to hitting my goal of 50 lifetime lays before the end of this year. I pulled that double lay (lays from two different girls in less than 24 hours). One more day of studying, and I'll be back in full effect. Stay tuned, players.

Sunday, March 30, 2014
Woke up around 11 because Splits was tapping me on the face. She asked if she could shower. I said yeah and fell back asleep. She came out after showering, wearing a towel, and woke me back up. We chilled in my bed for a while, maybe an hour. I don't mind her company so it was whatevs, bruh. Last night she said she would gives da dome when we woke up, and you best believe I was gon' hold her to dhat shit. After an hour of small talk (and her telling me how mean and arrogant I am), I told her it wasn't gonna suck itself, and she proceeded to fulfill her promise.

I took her home around 1 p.m. without kissing her goodbye. I went home and studied. Enso texted me up later on in the day and said he was gonna pull a chick to my pad. I quickly cleaned up the pad, complete with removing two used condoms from my floor. Enso showed up at my place around 8:30, and I gave him my key. I went to my apartment lobby to study.

He texted me while he was chilling with chick in my jizz-covered bed, said they were watching Limitless, and that she was actually paying attention to it. This is completely normal. Most girls, when you pull them back to your place (or wherever it is you pull back to), will get zoned in to whatever you play up for them. There's no secret to it. There's no finesse to it. If you want to bang, you simply grab the girl's face, when you're ready for it, and start making out with her. If a girl comes back to your place, she knows what's up. At the very least, the pull is a possibility. You just gotta have as much game as me, and you'll bust through any resistance just fine.

Enso texted me a little later, saying, "Game is not game". Fuuuuuuuuuck. I met up with him. He said he didn't have the courage to make a move. Li'l bitch. Our nerdy wing Smith has more game.

He wasn't done for the night. He suggested going to a strip club, and, as I had been studying all day, I said fuck it, let's go. We mobbed out to one joint, but it wasn't good so we decided to go to our usual Sunday Funday part of town, which was not good either. We only hit one bar. Nothing there. We managed to do our three approaches. Then we bounced.

We mobbed down the street and hit up a strip club, which cost 10 bones to get in. We chilled at the club for maybe 30 minutes. No strippers approached us. Weak.

We bounced out and called it a night.

Overall day: got head from Splits, no new K-closes, no new F-closes. I have plans to chill with Fat Ass chick tomorrow and some random girl in my phone (I can't remember who she is). I'm on spring break this week, after I murder my bitchass exam tomorrow morning. I'm planning on gaming harder than I ever have before.

Monday, March 31, 2014
Woke up after two goddamn hours to cram in that last-minute knowledge. About time the shit came. I've been studying so much the past week I feel I'm starting to develop a dowager's hump. I walked to my school at 10 and absolutely slaughtered my test. 97%, brah. Which taught me what? That I have to start working hard in school again? Sure. But more than that, it reaffirmed how fucking easy medical school, and life in general, is. There's always a second chance. Goddamn, I'm going to be a successful bastard. It's fucking awesome. I am the bad boy of my med school class. I don't socialize with any of my classmates anymore. I'm a ghost, which makes me mysterious as fuck I'm sure. I rarely show up to class (even mandatories), and whenever I do show up I'm usually tired as fuck, hungover, and covered in hickeys. If that's not high value as dick, I don't know what is. Anyway I'm a free man now, on spring break the next six days. 'Bouts tah game harder than I ever have.

I got out of my test around noon, walked back home, and got ready. I met up with Fat Ass chick at 1 o'clock at my go-to bar two blocks over. She looked pretty cute. If she were only taller... I was kinda hungry as I hadn't eaten anything the past two days except two spoonfuls of peanut butter. Fat Ass chick wanted food too so we ordered Mediterranean bruschetta, and a few drinks. We chilled at the bar for maybe 40 minutes. Then she paid the tab. Chick supplicates hard.

We bounced, headed back to my apartment. Got inside, and I put on 500 Days of Summer. (Already watched Superbad, brahs.) I felt no need to rush--she a done deal--so I posted up and watched the movie. Around the scene in the movie where Tom punches homeboy from the Twix commercials in the face, Fat Ass chick turned to me and started making out (she was lying on top of me as we were watching the movie). I figured we might as well make shit happen and get to bidness so I kept the macking going on. I got off her shirt, but, sure enough, she put up some LMR. Goddamn, seriously? At this point, you think that shit'd be done with. Whatever though. I knew I could roll with it. She said something like her new rule is that she can't have sex with me. I asked why, and she said it was because she knew I was having sex with other girls. I asked her why she thought that. The gigantic hickey on my neck (from Splits two nights ago) didn't help. She said she could just tell. Everyone can tell I get laid now--my girls, my classmates, my professors, my doctors at my clinicals, my patients, my parents, my grandpa, the people working at my apartment complex, gas station attendants, bartenders, bouncers, random people walking past me on the street or in the mall, everyone. She asked me if I honestly was having sex with other girls. I kept avoiding the question, then finally remembered that I had read somewhere that the best way to handle these questions is to give an absurd answer. So I said yes, I'm currently hooking up with 1000 different girls, and that she'd be the 1001st. She laughed and said that's why she couldn't fuck me. I didn't stop escalating when she told me she couldn't fuck me anymore. I knew I would clap dhem cheekz so I kept making out with her and feeling her up. After a few minutes, I got naked. She started with the HJ, then you know she was down. She said, "Okay, we'll have this sex this time, but this is the last time." I said sure. We gots tah fucking, and you best believe I spread dhem cheekz, bruh.

Game.

I cuddled her for maybe 20 minutes afterward because she's in love with me and I give my girls what they want. Then she said she had to go home to workout so I walked her out. I came back up and took a nap.

I had plans to meet up with some random girl at 7. I woke up from my nap at 6:20 and saw that she had texted and pushed back to 8. So I fell asleep for another hour.

Got up an hour later, got ready, and headed out to the same bar I had taken Fat Ass chick to a few hours before, the one I always meet my chicks at. I didn't know who this girl was. I couldn't remember when or where I met her. It's exciting sometimes to meet up with girls you can't remember. It's like blind dating or some shit.

I went inside the bar and grabbed a table. A minute later, I heard the door open and heels clanking across the floor. I turned to look. It turned out to be the chick with the fat ass who I madeout with a little more than a week ago (see the March 21st post). She's good, but I was a little disappointed. I already madeout with her, and I wanted a girl I hadn't madeout with yet so that I could add another name to the list.

We got drinks. There was a different staff working by that time. It was too bad because I wanted the workers from earlier to see me pull two different chicks on the same day. The girl was hungry. We shared a sammich. Midway through the meet up, she told me to guess her ethnicity. I said Pakistani. She said she was half and something else, that her name gave it away. I couldn't remember her name so I kinda stumbled, but nevertheless my quick-witted mind played it off and I just said your name is Megan (it's not). She acted offended, jokingly. I told her I was gonna call her Megan for the rest of our relationship (I also told her we were engaged but without a ring). She's a pretty cute girl, but she also seemed too good. I was worried about the pull. Regardless I had to go for it. I'm not Enso. At the end of the meet up, the bartender brought us a single check. I turned to my chick and was like, "Yeah, we'll split this." I wasn't about to pay for her drinks and half of the sammich.

We walked outside. I shot in with the go-tos: "Do you like movies?" She said yes. I asked if she wanted to watch one. She said where, and I pointed to my apartment complex two blocks over (it's a tall, impressive-looking building, and you can see it from the bar, which makes it easy to show girls how close it is. Everything's tactical. ) She laughed and said I planned that out. Of course I did. She asked if we could just go to a theater. It was only around 9:30, but I lied and said there weren't any nearby (there's one right down the street from my apartment). I told her plus, I wanted to watch Superbad with her. She said fine so we mobbed back to my complex.

We got inside. She was surprised that I didn't have any furniture. They always are. (All I have in my studio is a bed and a table. At this point in the game, I refuse to get a couch because it makes it so much easier to get girls in your bed when it's the only thing you have to sit on. ) I put on Superbad, changed into sport shorts, and told her to get comfortable. She wouldn't lie on my bed so we just sat on the edge of it. About 15 minutes into the movie, I turned to her, grabbed her face, and started making out with her. We kept going, and I pushed her back onto the bed. We were then lying down, making out. I started feeling her up and pulled dhem breasteses out of her shirt and slurped on 'em. This went on for maybe three minutes, then she pulled back from making out. Ahhhhhhh, god. She said, "I'm gonna go now," and laughed. Nothing I could do about this one. I didn't even have time to pull my get-naked maneuver.

I walked her out of my complex. The security guard Enso and I chatted with last night as we waited for Enso's chick bumped fists with me as I was walking her out. I walked her back to her car and kissed her goodbye, then told her she'd probably never hangout with me again because I'm too much of a manslut. She laughed and said we'll see. I don't gives a fuck whether I see her or not. Plenty of other opportunities, brah. When I walked back into my apartment lobby, the security guard said, "Niiiiiiiice." He's going to know, sooner or later, what the fuck I am, when I'm walking multiple girls in and out every week. To guys into PU, I'm a god. To guys out of PU, I am God. I went back upstairs, watched the rest of Superbad, and fell asleep.

This week should be a good week. I'm completely off so I'll be gaming as fuck. With all this time, I may even write the Ulysses of game or something. Anyone reading this who still hasn't found out for himself, trust me, there is nothing, nothing better than game--well, maybe playing Diablo 2 and reminiscing about seventh grade, but other than that, nothing.

Overall day: fucked Fat Ass chick, madeout with a girl already on the list and sucked on her titties, no new K-closes, no new F-closes. No game, but whatever.

I'm back, motherfuckers.

So beautiful. You're like the Ernest Hemingway of 2014.

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

Only difference is Hemingway was high status and not in constant need of validation
And also he had chicks in love with him. Fact...chicks who are in love with you don't give you LMR.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Not much game to be had today. It's a Tuesday. I thought it would be kind of nice to have a laidback day. And I haven't texted any of my girls for a while so nothing was lined up.

I went to the bank this morning to get a money order. I figured I might as well pay my rent this month. There's one girl who works at the bank. Suuuuuuper cute. She's a bank teller. Typical good girl job. She has helped me before in the past, but I didn't try for her number at the time. Well, I waited in line today, hoping I'd get stuck with her. But then the PUA gods fucked with me, and I ended up being helped by some chubby married chick. I could honestly tell the cute girl was a little let down. Sometimes you can sense that shit, for real.

I would have gone for the number had I been helped by her. I really would have, no matter how awkward. But whatever, I'll be back to get another money order next month. I think I may go back in a few days as well to withdraw money or some shit so that I'll get another chance for dhem digits.

Anyway I went to my parents' house after that and chilled there the rest of the day. Enso hit me up to run day, but I didn't leave my parents' till late so we didn't run any. While at my parents' house, my mom spotted the hickey on my neck and started lecturing me. She knows about my man whoring and doesn't approve of it. My dad, on the other hand, thinks I'm the shit. (Except he doesn't want me to let anything interfere with my school/career, which, after failing my second cardiovascular exam, game definitely has. Can't let him know about that.) My mom asked me what I was doing to myself, and said I shouldn't behave the way I do "since [I'm] going to be a doctor and need to start acting like it." Ahhhh, sorry, Mom. I GOTTA GAME! Before I left, she gave me a coverup stick so that I could cover up my hickey.

I went home and decided to have a chill night. Played a little GTA V, rented The Wolf of Wall Street. It was a good movie, and I felt like there was some game in it. Except, long phone calls and shit? Busting after 11 seconds? Come onnnnnnnn. Enso has more game than that. But whatever, still, I am the Jordan Belfort of game, The Wolf of Game. (Minus the Quaaludes.)

Game on, players.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Enso hit me up and said he needed to use my pad again. He had a day three lined up with a girl we met a few weeks ago (the friend of the girl who gave me an HJ, who Enso and I swapped. See the March 8th post). She looks like Shakira, and that's the nickname we call her by. So he showed up around 7. I gave him my key and went downstairs to the lobby to chill as he fucked a girl in my bed. Goddamn, what has life become? Anyway, an hour or so later, he texted me, saying "Game is game". Nice.

I met up with him again and got ready to run some night game. Smith said he was going to be out, and I wanted to game with him. But he texted me a little later, saying he wasn't feeling well and that he wasn't going to be able to make it. One of my other friends, this Brazilian dude I met a few weeks ago at a bar, hit me up and said he was down to mob out. So we scooped him up, and then headed to our usual Wednesday night spot.

It was pretty dead when we got there, which is unusual for Wednesday nights. We stayed for a while, and we opened a few sets. Enso ran into this dude we know, one of Smith's homies. I think Enso refers to him as Captain RSD. We chilled with him for a while. There were two girls I kept seeing around everywhere. One had bright red hair. The girls got hit on like a motherfucker. When they were done being approached by two lame-ass dudes, Enso rolled onto one of them. I approached the one with red hair. I talked for a minute, then told her I wanted to dance with her. She turned to her friend and, I guess, asked for her approval. Her friend nodded her head so I grabbed my girl's hand and led her to the empty dance floor. We danced for maybe one minute. She wouldn't grind, and I didn't like that shit. So I was going to peace out. I don't waste my time on shit like that. Can't she sense my abundance?! I told her to put her number in my phone, but she said I had to dance with her if I wanted it. Yeah, you're one of billions, honey. I said, "a'ight, I gotta find my friends. Give me a hug." I didn't let go when I hugged her and said, "Okay, three kisses--on the cheek!" I kissed both of her cheeks, then leaned in for the mouth, but she pulled back and said, "Nooooooooo." I walked away without a number, kiss, finger, or fuck.

I approached and danced with some other girl during the night. I was getting kind of drunk so I don't remember everything I said to her, but I ended up getting her number and pecked her twice goodbye.

We were tired of this lame-ass bar so Enso, my Brazilian friend, and I mobbed out to another bar. We did a few approaches at that place and then also peaced out. We went to another bar that we sometimes go to. We knew we had to do three approaches apiece as it's our rule. The bar was pretty dead, but we managed to get our three approaches. For my final approach, I opened these two hot blonde chicks who were sitting on an outdoor couch. They blew out immediately so I said fuck it. We were just about to bounce when some random bald guy came up to us and asked, "Are you guys doing good?" I said yeah, then he fucking punched me out of the blue in the right side of my chest. What the fuck! I stepped back and set my beer down. In case fucker was going to roll with the punches, I was going to be ready. I should have clocked the motherfucker with my beer or slammed him in his goddamn temple and KOed the bitch. Enso said he was kind of a big dude. I guess I didn't really get a good look at him 'cause I thought he was kind of small. But whatever, I'm not a small dude either. I'm 6'2 and about 180 so shit could have been on. But I'm not really into fighting, and I'm always terrified I'll get arrested if I get into a fight. If I got arrested, I would seriously get kicked out of medical school, and I just don't think proving my machoism is worth being dismissed from med school. Neither is proving it worth getting my pretty face potentially fucked up, or getting shot or stabbed or some shit 'cause you never know what pussy motherfuckers are packing. Shit did fucking piss me off though. The punch didn't hurt or anything, but I was still mad as fuck. One of the security guards approached us and asked what happened, then led us through the kitchen and out the back. I had grabbed my beer before we left and I realized I still had it when we were outside, in public. I downed that shit and threw it against a wall, and it shattered. I was pretty fucking mad, which I didn't like. I don't like getting mad, and I rarely do, but that shit would make any dude pissed. I don't know what the fuck was with homie. I hadn't even seen him before he came up to us, but I guess Enso said he was spotting us when I talked to the two blonde girls. I don't think they were with him though. I didn't see them react in any way when the little altercation kicked up. Whatever. I was mad and kept apologizing to Enso for being pissed. I finally just said fuck it, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters so I calmed myself down and got back to my typical carefree attitude.

I don't understand why dudes have to be little bitches though. Even if those were his chicks, he saw me get blown out immediately. What the fuck was he worrying about? If I was with a chick at a bar and she got hit on, I would deflect the CBer by pulling away my girl or something, but I would never just punch some dude because of it. What the fuck is that weak shit? I would have winged this dude. Seriously. Had he just come up to me and asked to talk to some girls, I would have been like, fuck yeah, dude, let's do it. I'm a pretty friendly guy. But whatever, not every person is like that. Enso and I said we're going to start recruiting big dudes so as to kind of have body guards with us when we roll. When you're gaming as hard as we are, you have to know that you're going to get into some shit eventually. It's just another part of game. I really don't want to get in a fight, but next time a motherfucker touches me, I'm going at him, I don't care how big.

Anyway we called it a night as it was around closing time then. Enso took me back to my crib, and we had our routine end-of-the-night deep, quasi-philosophical discussion. I told him I was gonna cure death. (I do research on consciousness as a form of life extension, brahs!) This isn't really related to game, but I thought I'd just drop it in. I guess you could formulate to game somewhat. Like I could use my other apart-from-game interests to kick up them conversational skills with the ladies. But it never seems like that many girls are "deep" or anything, at least not when you meet them at a fucking bar and they're drunk as fuck. If I found a girl who was tall, modelesque, had a pageboy, liked the same type of music as me (I'm talking house, old school hip-hop, nu-metal (P.O.D. and Linkin Park), and post-punk), was interested in literature and philosophy, was nice and sweet and loyal, came from a good family and didn't have any brothers, smelled good, had nice teeth, had a fat ass and long legs, was a virgin, never swallowed before, liked critically-acclaimed movies, was actually intelligent (i.e., she had the ability to truly critically think, not just the ability to perform this bullshit "critical thinking" that education in general and medical school attempt to ingrain in students), liked going on trips, ate good food, lived a life of comfort, was educated and wanting to go somewhere, and allowed me to game on the side, I'd dropout of game for good. (Haha. Nah, if I actually found a girl like this, I wouldn't game anything except my love for her.)

What the fuck am I saying? Hell no, I'm never going to settle down! I am a man slute for LIFE! I am the animal! Fuck this shit. I'm gaming till goddamn death, and then some more in the fiery, blistering, agonizing fucking flames of Hell as I scream in horror for the rest of time. I'm gaming goddamn Satan's bitchass and all the prostitutes who overdosed on coke and those 1980s Scarface bitches who did on Quaaludes. I'm gaming fucking EVERYTHING for fucking LIFE. And when I figure out how to cure death, fellas, you motherfucking players better believe I'm gaming on for fucking eternity! There is nothing that can stop this game. Not punk-ass motherfuckers who punch dudes with mad game in the chest. Not hatin'-ass hoes who blow out as soon as you sit down with them. Not perfect girls who "tempt" you to dropout. Fuck all that bullshit. I say game on for fucking ever and ever and ever.

Thursday night, players. Start of the weekend. Time to gear up for game. Until tomorrow, my dudes, game on.

Overall day: one K-close, which puts me at 86 total so far this year, and (I believe) two numbers somewhere, got a punch that didn't hurt in the right side of my chest by some random drunk fucker. I game too goddamn hard.

Thursday, April 3, 2014
I had a day three lined up with the girl from three nights ago (see the March 31st post). We met up at an Irish bar pretty far from my apartment. I told her before meeting up that we could just watch movies at my place, but she said it was my turn to meet her halfway and she wouldn't waiver. So whatever, I met up with her around 8. We chilled at the bar and ate sheperd's pie. I don't typically eat shit like that, but again I'll do what I have to to get that lay. After we ate, I paid all of about $10 for it. I don't usually pay for girls before busting that ass, but she was offering to take me to an arcade for free so I figured that was fair.

We left the Irish bar and went to an arcade at this little amusement park next door. That was actually pretty fun. I haven't been to an arcade since I was a little kid. Shit took me back hardcore to the 90s. We chilled there till it closed at 10. As we were walking out, she mentioned how it sounds like I party all the time and how it sounds fun. She was hinting that she wanted to go out so I told her we should go out. She agreed.

She followed me back to my apartment. I dropped off my car, then she drove to my usual night time part of town. We got drinks at one of my regular restaurants. I slapped hands with two of the bartenders when we walked in. She touched me as fuck while we were drinking. I didn't break eye contact for shit. She has good eye contact herself, which I appreciated. She moved her chair closer to me at one point and then started resting her hand on my thigh. We had good conversation. She's a pretty smart girl, and she has good taste in movies. I'm talking Citizen Kane, On the Waterfront, Bladerunner, Before Sunrise/Sunset, There Will Be Blood, and a lot of other good shit. Most girls don't know what the fuck an Orson Welles is! We also talked about Gravity's Rainbow and existentialism.

After we got drinks, we headed to one of my usual bars. I bumped fists with the bouncer as I walked in. We danced for a while. (This chick really loves to dance. Not my usual stee.) That bar was kinda dead at the time so we bounced and hit up one of my other regulars. Same shit. Mostly just dancing. At some point, I spotted Splits. She came up to me. I hugged her and didn't let her go. I wanted my new chick to watch that shit. I told Splits maybe I'd take her home at the end of the night and fuck her. She said we'll see.

I went back to my new chick and danced with her. At some point, she said she had lost her keys. (She had them in her bra, and they fell out.) We spent about five minutes walking around scanning the crowded dance floor. Real AFC shit. I secretly didn't want her to find her keys. It would have given her no other choice than to take a cab with me back to my place and stay the night. But unfortunately she found them next to a table about five minutes into looking. Fuuuuuuuuuck. We went back to dancing. I saw Splits walk by holding some dude's hand. I grabbed my chick and started making out with her. Fuck you, Splits. You ain't getting the best of me.

We bounced from there and went back to the first bar. Again dancing, dancing, dancing. Gahhh, it gets old after a while. I started upping kino at this point, and chick reciprocated. She kept grabbing my ass and my neck as we danced. At one point, I ran into Smith. He was with one of his homies. I'd never seen this dude before, but he also looked like a PhD student. Real nerdy. I wanted to wing those motherfuckers, but I couldn't really get away from chick. I told her how I coach Smith, and she thought it was funny. She said there's nothing to picking up girls except talking to them. I agree with this actually, but it is somewhat more complex. She doesn't completely understand game.

I led her to one of the open booths in the back corner of the bar. It was time to isolate. She sat on my lap. I started making out with her and feeling her up. I ended up getting my hand under her skirt and rubbing her va-jay-jay for a good ten seconds through dhat thong, but then she removed my hand. Goddamn it. We went back to the dance floor, then peaced out and went back to the second bar we had gone to.

I ran into Splits again, and she was with yet again another guy, holding his hand as she walked past. God, I think I'm never going to makeout with her again when I fuck her. A few minutes later, I ran into another chick I see pretty often. I madeout with her some weeks back and kissed her as well on St. Paddie's Day when I ran into her. I did the same shit I did to Splits, just grabbed her and hugged her and didn't let go. Afterward the chick I was with said I knew everybody. I'm social, bitches. What can I say?

I stayed with my chick at the bar till closing time. Then we walked back to her car. I madeout with her in the parking lot, and she asked how far did I want to go in public. I said all the way, let's put on a show for anyone walking by. She wasn't down though so we peaced out, and she drove me back to my apartment. When we got to my apartment, she parked her car and got out with me. I didn't say anything and just started leading her to the entrance of my building, but she said wait. I turned around, and she said she wasn't coming up. I told her I just wanted to watch The Wolf of Wall Street and cuddle her, but she said that's what I said the last time. I didn't push it that much because I'm done with any kind of resistance at this point. I don't like to waste my time on chicks who aren't down from the start. So I said, "This is your last chance. Seriously." And I somewhat meant it. Today was day three, and she didn't put out. She's getting pushed back to the back burner. When I got inside my apartment, I checked my phone and sure enough, from Splits: "Hmmmm." She knows my game. She wanted me to pick her up, but fuck that. We texted for a while, and I gave her my address and told her to come over. She replied, "Nah it's cool, you had your chance". Excuse me? I had my chance? Who the fuck does this chick think she is? I didn't reply. I'll bang her sometime next week or the next.

I also got a text from the other girl I had run into, which read, "I almost went up And made out with you while you were with that girl just to be a brat". Hahaha. I told her she should've done it, then asked her what she was up to. She said she was at home in bed. I told her to come over. She said she would consider it if I picked her up, but I couldn't drive at this point. I told her I'd pay for her cab (fuck no would I actually have done it). But she said she was sleepy so that was the end of that. I fell asleep annoyed that I didn't close out the first girl.

Overall day: madeout with a girl I've already madeout with and rubbed her up under her skirt, no new K-closes, no new F-closes, no fucking numbers. Weak game, homie.

Friday, April 4, 2014
Enso and I had plans to take a road trip to L.A. for game. We tried to convince some of our other wings, like Guru (member151038.html), Consistency (member150994.html), and a few other non-forum-related dudes to mob with us, but no one else was down. I woke up after four to five hours of sleep and started getting ready to head out. Enso showed up at my place around 1:30, and we started heading out. At one point, he noticed the light for his engine hood was on so he pulled over to shut it. As he was shutting it, he noticed his engine was rattling oddly. We debated whether we should take his car or mine to L.A. My car is straight except the tires are a little shoddy, and I didn't want to have a blowout driving at 80 and die. No game is worth that. We also didn't want to take his car, get stranded in the fucking desert, and get ass fucked by the real life Trevor Philips. We decided we would risk his car and got back on the freeway and on our path to Dirty Big Los.

We got to L.A. around 8:15 and checked into our hostel, Banana Bungalow, in Hollywood. I've stayed at this place twice before in the past, and both times were pretty legit. (Last time I stayed here, I sucked on some French girl's titties.) The hostel was throwing a party tonight and providing a party bus/free entry to a club in Hollywood.

The night started off with promise. I ate some bomb-ass grilled chicken at the hostel, and Enso and I both had several drinks. We met this cool Australian dude who was traveling the states by himself for a few weeks. He was 39-years-old. He didn't look that old. He was a cool dude, and he said he got blown on Hollywood Blvd. the night before by a 22-year-old. That's fucking game right there! We wanted to game with this dude so we were going to mob with him. We also met these other two English dudes who were around our age. We wanted to wing with them as well. At this point, we'll wing with fucking anybody because we're always down to show out any dude and showoff our mad game. Plus, it's fun when you're gaming with new dudes. And might as well game with dudes who have accents when you get the chance. In America, that's a DHV.

Anyway we boarded our party bus around 10:15 and were both pumped as fuck. We had done our three opens apiece at the hostel, and we were in a social state. We also had plans to meet up with two other PUAs we contacted through the forum (though we were never able to find either of them). Enso was drunk as fuck. He doesn't usually drink much when he goes out. Drinking is more up my alley, and I think, because it is, I can handle my alcohol really well, much better than Enso for sure. Hahaha. This was the first time I've seen him actually tossed. And goddamn, motherfucker was yelling my ear off! I worried I would have to carry his bitchass back to the hostel or hold his hair while he was throwing up. Haha. No game.

The party bus dropped us off at one club, Boulevard3, in Hollywood. It was around 10:30 at the time, and, my god, shit was dead as FUCK! There was seriously nobody, not on the dance floor, not on the patio, nowhere. Enso opened a two set at the bar. I opened one of the girls in the set. They were foreign, but I couldn't make out where the accent was from. Anyway they were a fucking dead set and we could tell so we bounced from them and then from the club in general. We lost Aussie homie somewhere so unfortunately we were forced to ditch him, which we were sad to do. We also never met up with the two English homies. They were on the party bus after us, and they didn't arrive before we bounced.

We mobbed around and started hitting up different bars. There was no street game to be had anywhere. We started doubting L.A.'s game. What the fuck? The second biggest city in the U.S. and no game? What the hell is that shit? We mobbed into one piece of shit bar that was fucking dead. There was a two set sitting at the bar. One of the girls was good. Her friend was fat and hideous. I talked to the cute one for a while. She said she was 37-years-old. She looked 27 tops. I tried getting her number, but she told me to give me hers. I said sure, I'll punch it in your phone. I was just going to call my number. (Like numbers matter shit anyway, especially when you're traveling.) But I said something she didn't like just as she handed me her phone and then she said it was okay, I didn't have to give it to her. I was going hard as fuck in L.A. I'm not from there and will never see any of these girls again so what the fuck do I have to lose? I hugged her and told her to give me three kisses. I kissed her cheeks, then went for the lips, but she objected. I bounced. Enso was talking to a two set next to me. I don't think he got anything from them. We bounced out of the bar.

We opened a few sets on the street, but shit was blowing out incredibly bad. It was turning out to be a disgustingly shitty night. Probably the worst Friday I've had in a very long time.

We spotted one of the bars we've seen Tyler pull in in one of his videos. It's on Hollywood Blvd. We mobbed in there. Dead as fuck, but there was a two set sitting at the bar. I opened one of the girls, but she wasn't feeling it so I peaced and started talking to a three set beside them. Enso started talking to the girl I had just been talking to. Long story short with my new target in the three set, I number-closed her, went for the K-close, and got the cheeks. I looked next to me. Enso saw me doing this and started making out with the girl I had been talking to. Motherfucker was rubbing it in my face.

I mobbed outside for a while. I wanted to find some fucking sets, but goddamn, there were none. Where is all the fucking street game in L.A. during the night time? I did get opened by one homeless motherfucker who looked like Eddie Furlong plus 20 years. He was honestly probably one of the cleanest homeless motherfuckers I've ever seen. He wanted to n-close me and show me around Venice tomorrow. I'm too nice to blow a motherfucker out so I wrote a fake number on a piece of paper. (He didn't own a cell phone. Obviously.)

I went back inside, and Enso had hooked his set enough to get them to agree to afterparty at our hostel. We all mobbed out and caught a cab back. It was 2 or so by this time. The friend of Enso's target was a straight up bitch. The girls wanted to drink though, and Aussie homie from earlier in the night had a bottle with him. We were counting on running into him so that we could facilitate getting them drunker and solidifying the pull. We arrived at the hostel. As soon as the cab stopped, I jumped the fuck out and told Enso to do the same. I wasn't about to pay for that fucking cab ride, and I didn't want Enso to drop anything either. But he stayed in and ended up paying the entire goddamn six-dollar fee.

Ahhhh, no game.

We mobbed into the hostel and then into our dorm. We posted up on the floor in the corner, talked for a while, and smoked. What the fuck were we thinking? We're better than that! Some Danish dude, one of our dorm mates, hopped out of his bunk and asked, "How long is this going to be going on?" Haha. Fucking bitch. We should've jumped his ass, but we're peaceful dudes. He was definitely hating on our mad game though. Aussie homie rolled into the room, starting laughing, and jokingly said, "Ah, you mates have to be respectful, man." Shit cracked me up.

The one friend of Enso's target was definitely not down. We could tell she wanted to get the fuck out of there and go on with the rest of her miserable, little, meaningless life. It was going to be a hard pull for Enso. As for me, I was completely fucked altogether. At some point, Enso took the bitchy friend outside for some reason. I was chilling with Enso's target. I'm not going to lie. I definitely was tempted to rob him. And I think I could have done it, as my game is way tighter, but she was kinda fucking busted and I couldn't stop thinking how fucking disgusting it would be to get Enso's sloppy seconds. Ahhhhhh, that shit fucks with me. So I didn't make a move. I'm a pussy.

Danish dude hopped out of his bed again and started with his bitchy ass bullshit. I told him we would go outside. Aussie homie was still laughing. I told the Danish dude I was sorry for disturbing him, and he said, "I know you're not." Hahahahahahahaha. I really was!

I'm not sure why we didn't ask Aussie homie for his bottle. I guess we were both just seriously fucked up at this point. The bitchy friend wanted to get the fuck out of our hostel and kept saying she wanted to go get pizza. We ended up taking another goddamn cab to some pizzeria. I again hopped out of the cab at once, and Enso ended up paying $2. As soon as we got out, the bitchy friend ran into one of her homies. The girls ended up going with their friends, and Enso and I were left to go fuck ourselves. We said fuck it and caught a cab back to our hostel.

When we showed up to our hostel, Aussie homie was outside making out with some fucking BUSTED chick. Seriously had a face that only a demon could love. Goddamn. I wouldn't have fucked her with five condoms on. Maybe I would have. But definitely not with two.

We went inside and went to our dorm. We got in our bunks and fell asleep drunk as fuck. I should have pissed on Danish homie before calling it a night.

Overall day: no goddamn anything. Just a fucking number-close. If any of you guys reading this are still zoned in on obtaining one, two, three, four phone numbers a night, you guys must accept this: YOU ARE LAME AS FUCK! Never go for only a goddamn phone number! Are you fucking retarded? Ahhhh, tonight was a very shitty night. Back home, I would have garnered at least three makeouts. Enso got one makeout from a pretty fugly chick, but whatever, I can't hate. Game is game. G is g.

Saturday, April 5, 2014
I woke up in my bunk because Enso tapped me on the fucking shoulder. I asked him what time it was, and he said it was 11:30. I was still somewhat in a stupor, but I knew it was fuck-it time to game. Or game time in other words. I washed my face and brushed my teeph, put on my leather jacket, and mobbed out. We hit up a Starbucks to renutriate, then we headed to Santa Monica. One of my wings, who used to live in Cali, recommended we check out Bungalow. It took us forever to find parking, but we finally did, and then we crashed the Third Street Promenade for some day game.

We still found ourselves being little bitches during the day. Our wing Guru (member151038.html) swears by day game. We were in a fucking city we're not even from and still weren't cutthroat as fuck. Ahhhhh, without alcohol, I'm NOTHING! We walked the Promenade without doing a single approach, then found our way to Bungalow.

We crashed Bungalow. There were some trendy motherfuckers there. Enso and I pretty much always wear all black and always wear bracelets and necklaces. These motherfuckers were just not up on that shit. So we definitely stood out in either a really great way or a weird-as-fuck way. Probably the latter as we never got opened.

Whatever. I grabbed two expensive fucking Coronas from the bar, and then it was game time. We knew we had to do three approaches apiece. We spotted this dope-as-fuck three set (decent faces, big titties, and fat asses) we had spotted on the street before come into the bar. We knew we had to open them at some point. But fuck it, we had to get warmed up first. (We're not Tyler and Julien yet, though we will be.)

I opened a two set in line for the bathroom after Enso told me to ask her, "Is this the line for the medical examiner?" She laughed, then turned her goddamn back on me and starting talking to her friend again. I actually thought that was a pretty funny opener so FUCK DHEM HOEZ!!!

I then opened some dude who was wearing a shirt from my school. I asked him if he went to school there, and he said he went there for undergrad. We talked for a minute. I didn't have any goals for talking to him, except for getting my fucking three opens so whatever. We separated after a minute.

Enso and I spotted our three set who we wanted to have sex wiff soooooooo bad sitting near the inside bar. We knew what time it was. I downed my third beer (I'm a little pussy still), and we went in to say what up. Enso opened by asking if them knew where the ocean was (Bungalow is right next to the beach). They ended up actually being pretty nice girls. Fuck yeah! Back home, girls who look like them would be mega bitches. (We live in seriously probably the goddamn douchiest of all places in America. In one part of our town, every girl is bitchy and every dude is about six five and weighs at least 230 in muscle mass. Mad competition.) They thought Enso's opener was funny so we continued talking to them. I didn't break eye contact with any of those chicks as they spoke, but at one point in the convo, one of the girls said that the girl who Enso and I were both targeting and fascinating about bustin' nuts all over had a boyfriend. We, at once, both knew ahhh, fuck-these-bitches-bustin'-their-fucking-subtle-let-you-knows-and-fucking-our-game-up shit so we wrapped up the convo pretty quickly after that and peached the fuck out.

Enso opened some dude who straight up looked like Tim Robbins by asking him if he'd ever seen Shawshank. Something about this dude I really liked. I can't say what it was, but he was a nice, cool motherfucker, wearing all black, because it turned out he was a waiter at some nearby joint. Plus, he looked like Tim Robbins, who I've always thought was kinda cool, even though I've heard he's a fucking dickhead in person. Anyway Tim Robbins said we should bounce to [700 Club] at Shangri-La hotel.

We bounced. In the parking lot of the hotel where Bungalow is at, Enso spotted some busted old chick sitting by herself at a table. He told me to walk up to her, tell her she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life and then just walk right away. I did it. I could actually tell she wanted to lick peanut butter off my gooch. Enso opened some other dude in the parking lot by asking him if he was a PUA. It turns out the dude didn't know what the fuck a PUA was. He probably still buys chicks drinks and shit.

I got opened by this hideous fucking two set asking for a lighter. No game to be had, but they recommended [700 Club] as well. We mobbed out and headed to the Santa Monica beach. I wanted to put my toes in the water, which I did. I reflected for a brief moment on the beach, as I had in San Diego a few weeks (or whenever the fuck that was again) before. Game. Then Enso and I bounced to the Santa Monica pier to look for sets. There were none so we decided to mob to [700 Club].

I opened one set on the street after Enso told me to ask them if they thought I was gay. They kind of got offended when I asked them (I could pick up on it) so I lied and told them some girl had just told me I looked gay. They asked what gay looks like. Goddamn it, girls. Give me a fucking break. I'm not a fucking homophobe, I do support gay marriage and equal rights so give me a fucking break. I ended up telling them I think that the [fake] girl had asked me if I were gay because of my eyebrows (I pluck my eyebrows, bruh). Nothing much happened after saying that, and Enso and I peaced.

We got to [700], and the gentleman working the door (There are some fucking nice bouncers in L.A. I'll give the city that.) said there was an hour wait. We said fuck that and peaced. We hit up Bloomingdale's on the Promenade. Enso saw some counter chick he wanted to open but pussied out. There were no sets otherwise so we bounced. We found Enso's car, then bounced out to check out the scene around UCLA. (Back home, we're used to gaming chicks closer to our age--the college crowd).

We hit Westwood (the area around UCLA), and there were absolutely no sets on the street. We went into Ralph's to get some food (I got a sammich). There were a couple sets in there, but we didn't open. We bounced out. The only thing we spotted on the street that was good was this hostess chick at some upscale hotel-or-bar-or-some-shit who had a fucking fat ass. Neither of us opened, as I'm a l'il pussy when straight sober and Enso is in general. There were no other sets so we bounced back to Enso's car and headed back to our hostel to get ready to game.

We got to our hostel and ran into English homies from last night. They were with two Aussie chicks who were also staying at our hostel. The chicks were pretty cute actually. The English dudes kept the interaction short with us and said they were going to Chrome or some shit and for me and Enso to have a good night. Those motherfuckers didn't even invite us! They knew we were a threat to them, and they wanted a for-sure in with the Aussie chicks. Hahaha. Ahhhhhh. I can't hate as I would have done the same, but fuuuuck, we actually wanted to game with those motherfuckers.

We got ready and watched some fucking in-field footage of Julien, Tyler, Cajun, and Alex, which got us in goddamn state. I downed six beers. Enso got started on a bottle of rum. Then we crashed the rest of the rum together. I was trying to get fucked up and go as cutthroat as possible on my last night in Hollywood.

We bounced out of our hostel around 11-something, hit up the W, and couldn't get in because neither of us were wearing button-downs. We said fuck dhis shit and caught a cab to the Sunset Strip. (We had driven through there on our way back from Westwood and spotted The Viper Room in particular, which we both wanted to check out as we're somewhat fans of J Depp and River Phoenix.)

We arrived on the Sunset Strip. The Viper Room was charging $15 cover because the bassist, or guitarist, or some shit from Pantera was there. We said suck our motherfucking dicks and bounced. I opened a two set on the street. One of the chicks was wearing glasses. I took them from her face, put them on, and walked away. I walked back after a few feet because she didn't chase me. She took them off my face. I tried to French goodbye her but got da cheekz.

We hit another bar (I don't remember what the fuck it was called). Enso opened some chick but I guess got blown out after a while. We then opened a busted-ass two set who was sitting at a table. Shouldn't have even fucked with them, but I was down for fucking whatever at this point. I ended up downing my girl's drink (which I always do given the chance ). She was cool, but her friend got mad so we bounced out.

We didn't do much on the street after that as THERE WERE NO FUCKING SETS. (FUCK L.A.!!!!!!!!!!) We caught a cab back to Create, which is right across the street from the hostel we were staying at. (We had seen a decent amount of fallout around there last night, which was actually the only fucking fallout we spotted in all of goddamn Hollywood.)

There was some fallout when we got there. We opened this one two set who was sitting down. My target, the cuter one (Enso was stuck talking to a fucking fat girl), was from New York. Hardcore NY accent and everything. I talked to her for a while. Apparently two homies tried to rob us as we were talking to our chicks, per Enso. I didn't pay attention to those fuckers as I was straight up whitegirl wasted at the time. I never even broke eye contact with my chick. But whatever, long story short, we tried to pull them back to our hostel, which was across the fucking street; and, when they weren't down, I tried to K-close my chick with the French goodbye, to which I got the weak-ass fucking cheeks. We peaced.

I told Enso I had to experiment after all of my fucking failures in Hollywood and ended up opening a fucking disgusting FAT SET. I was NOT going to K-close them, but I wanted to see if they would at least even facilitate that shit. Come on, they HAD to have. But, sure enough, I talked to those nasty-ass bitches for a while, and they wouldn't fucking K-close me! Gahhhhhh, what the FUCK! FUCK L.A.!

We walked through the parking lot of Create, and Enso got hollered at by this chick at a car. She was with three of her other friends. We rolled up on them. Enso spit game at the one who was hollering at him. I targeted another chick on the other side of the car. My girl said she wanted to take shots, and I told her that we should get in the backseat and take some. She was down, but Enso was trying to fuck me, and told her to come over to him. She ended up going over to him (ahhhhhh, that motherfucker!!). Enso and I took a shot each with her drunk ass. Then Enso K-closed her. I should have tried to K-close one of the other three chicks. I don't know what the fuck my drunk ass was thinking. We tried to bounce them to our hostel across the street, but they said they were from Rancho Cucamonga and couldn't fuck with us. Fuck y'all bitchez!

We bounced back to our hostel. Enso was texting that chick from last night, the one he K-closed. She was down to come fuck with his ass. He spotted one of the English dudes with some other chick than what we said seen him with earlier. Apparently English homie was holding new chick's hand, per Enso, and taking her back to his room. We ran into Aussie homie, who had said that he was bouncing out of town this morning to go to San Fran, but then told us he had missed his bus or some shit and was staying over in L.A. We chilled with him for a minute. He said he ended up pulling that busted-ass chick he was making out with last night. Game, I guess. Enso's busted-ass chick showed up. I told him to GO FUCK HIMSELF. Drunk as a motherfucking white girl/frat boy, I bounced back to my hostel bunk and fell asleep jealous as fuck that Enso had not only outpulled me, but that I had not even obtained a fucking K-close in one goddamn weekend. That's the first time that's happened this year. What the FUCK!

Overall day: do I even have to write this? It was the worst goddamn Saturday I've ever had, which contributes to the worst goddamn weekend I've ever had. I got absolutely nothing nothing tonight or last night. I was outgamed by my grandson too--Enso. Everybody at the fucking hostel pulled this weekend--Enso, Aussie homie, English homies. Everyone except me. Gahhhh! FUCK L.A. I'm going fucking HAM next week.