They Say Americans Love a Good Comeback Story...

"Shut up about your circumstances and TAKE ACTION!"

We've all heard this dozens of times as the pua mantra, or just rhetoric spouted by any "human potential movement" guru.

It is nice to think that we could just just do a turnaround/comeback like this.

He decides to TAKE ACTION and make a difference:

He commits to a sports / workout / Scarface montage like you see in the movies, where, while a song like "Take it to the Limit" is playing in the background, you see:

- He's lifting weights, and getting bigger and more cut in every shot.

- He looks at a bookshelf of books that have titles like: "How to Give Women What They Want", and "How to Please Your Woman, and be Happy Too!" and brushing them all away and replacing them with books titled: "How to Get What You Want as a Man", and "How to Get Yours."

Then he emerges 90 days later as the real man he intended to be, and was meant to be, and he just goes about his life, talking to girls at Starbucks, catching them on the street if they look familiar, chatting in elevators, and somehow things are just working out better now for some reason. He's getting laid a whole lot more.

As Penelope Cruz says in Vanilla Sky, do you really think "Every passing moment is an opportunity to turn it all around"....??..!!

Is it really?

Guys who've been out in the field for a few years now, and had to deal with the tides and turbulence of life, not to mention the challenge of the game itself, feel free to chime in...

Does this really happen? Aside from anecdotally? Yeah, 1 out of 10,000, sure, but the average beat-down schmo, really? Could even a Tony Robbins pick a guy like this back up?

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Wow, not one response. I don't know if this says much about that "build an amazing life" stuff that's pushed by the community so much, but it's certainly not encouraging.

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Http://Dating-Musings.com

Lol nothing comes easy, if you want to be succesfull at anything in life you gonna have to work for it and take the risks. Something the average Schmo would never be able to do. You're asking the wrong question. It shouldn't be is it possible for the average beatdown schmo? But am i a average schmo or am I the guy that won't take failure as a possible outcome and will i give my absolute all. The fact that you're even asking this question, shows that you lack believe in yourself and your own posibilities. Just go out there and proof yourself what your made off, or don't you are the only one you have to awnser to.

Have a nice day, Beast

Yes., actually it can work like that. I transformed my appearance seemingly overnight in the gym and i improved my game by leaps in bounds reading books, forums, going out regularly, online dating, etc. and I am a completely different person than I was a decade ago.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

sort of, you are what you do and all things are transient
does it happen is sort of a statement that assumes an absolute, can change happen in a person? sure, a person can start to tighten up his life and pull it together or let it all fall apart

once again we more or less amount to what we do in the day to day, if you don't have a habit today to do XYZ then you probably won't have a habit tomorrow to do XYZ and it's easy to see how quickly ''I'll do that tomorrow'' turns into never
sure, but really the degree of improvement is always going to vary between people, the vast majority of people are going to have trouble finding the will power to really want to change anything about themselves, it's way more comfortable to conform to your regular impulses and repeat the same old habits, doing the same things daily and routinely, but in regards to pickup, yes some guys can just form a lifestyle where they routinely just talk to women and think nothing of it, some to a very large extent, and some guys can just gain a bit more confidence to actually go out and meet a girl here and there when they didn't have the know how before, but everyone's different and it's just like going to the gym to get swole, the vast majority are not going to want to put in effort to change, the vast majority are not going to want to get out of their comfort zone and develop new habits that they are not immediately comfortable with and the vast majority will give up eventually without really making any lasting change, not everyone who gets a gym membership will turn out lean and ripped, and not everyone that gets into pua is going to even get better with women even when making a commitment, because most people resist change and want to stay with what feels comfortable

in the end, the onus of responsibility for your life is in your hands, what you do with that responsibility will be defined by the decisions/actions you make, if you want to change and really work hard, set out a plan and follow that plan to achieve a change and keep at it because you want to change, you probably will, if you are not putting wheels in motion with a solid plan of action and are not actually wanting to change, you probably won't

Pumpington made an awesome point. Changing is difficult and requires a certain degree of will power and responsibility. I think however, changing also requires a certain level of maturity and honesty. Sometimes changing is painful, especially in terms of appearance or with people. Because we often get trapped into negative habits that "protected" us over the years, and also made excuses for these habits. It's hard to give something up and admit that I've done it wrong. It can hurt the ego and make you feel less of a man sometimes. But admitting that "I've been doing things wrong and it's time to move on", is a powerful first step. These things happen to all men, what separates some men from others is how they deal with the issue of hurt and move on from it. Most people cave when things become tough or difficult. Everyone has done it at one point or another. But it's those men who can admit that I'm hurt, sad, but I have to do this to improve that end up succeeding in life. With women as with anything, there will be highs and lows. There will revelations about things which you never understood, or the painfully obvious things that you knew you should've changed.

I don't believe that being a "good guy" is the goal to shoot for. It's so generic and disingenuous. Everyone wants to be a good person or the best person they can be. The truth is, is that all humans will never truly achieve everything that they've ever wanted to do. We all fall short in some way. Even the most successful of humans. But that's what makes life so awesome. You realize that you don't have forever to do everything. You only have a limited amount of time to achieve a few things. So then you have to make the decision whether or not to continue with certain objectives, or to move on to new ones. The goal in life (in my opinion), is not to become a "good person" or the "best me I can be", but how do I use my natural talents to achieve the "most effect"? How do I use my skills in the "most effective" means to achieve the "most"? These are the true questions. And the honest answer is that it will require a lot of soul searching, growing, and making hard decisions. Because that is what a real man does. He makes some tough decisions and moves forward. Once you understand what you want to do, you're ahead of about 60% of men. Because you have your mind made up and you're moving in some direction.

Yes you can change. I changed over the summer. Completely polarized my poor attributes.

Okay, I understand what you're saying.

But the only thing is, in reading this, it kind of comes off as "settling"; maybe that's how I've been raised / taught - I don't know.

It sounds like, and correct me if I'm wrong, that I'd be saying, "Hey, I know I've got these ridiculously handicapping imperfections; sure, I can overcome them, but it would take more effort than 99.98% guys are able to commit. Maybe it'd be best to just give up, accept my extreme disabilities, and make the most I can, as fucked up as I am."

Yeah, I can go to the gym; I have one at home. I'm not in the best shape right now, although not overweight (yet). Going to the gym is very difficult, and it's always been a tough routine to keep up.

So couldn't it be argued that my time would be better spent at the office, doing a job I know I'm good at, and making even more money? That could sure sound like "maximum effect" for most people."

I can put a lot of shit on the line in a couple years and start a business. Yeah, if it takes off, I could be a multi-millionaire. It could also easily crash and ruin my life.

I could just as easily keep showing up to work every morning instead, and still make about $100,000 a year.

What is "maximum effect"? What kinds of things are we supposed to be giving up? - Anything that anybody, anywhere tells us is a "pipe dream" is something that we should cut loose and instead focus on succeeding in a mediocre existence, (mind you, the good job I have right now was denigrated by people close to me, including family, as a "pipe dream."

Just curious. What would you think about my questions about "most effect."?

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Life is all about those choices you make. Whenever you decide to do something your 'opportunity' cost is all the other things you aren't doing. You want to become a PUA? Learn how to pick-up women and work on that skill. You want to start a business? Learn about how to start and take risks.

You can't know what will happen, but what I know is that if someone just keep talking about stuff and what implications they might have and what risks there are to his dreams... he doesn't get a lot done. Worst that can happen is an experience in life and knowledge on how to get better. Nothing awesome comes easy in life.

I was looking over some old posts and saw this. I've been thinking about this some lately. We're basically saying the same thing. You have to be realistic about what you're good at. You can burn years practicing and training for something that just isn't you, or you can put anything that comes easier to use and get a lot further. You can call money superficial all you want, but anything that lets you go home with the most money after 40 hours, compared to anything else you could be doing, - probably might be worth taking another look at.

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Interesting. I would say that the answer is NO. There is no sudden comeback, that stuff doesn't happen. The whole reason that "Take it to the Limit" montages exist in movies is because the director needs a mechanic that shows character development without spending all that time on the actual process. For every second you see Rocky becoming more cut, or Tony Montana becoming richer they leave out an hour of him lying face down on the floor weeping while his shattered body attempts to mend itself. People in the real world aren't prepared for this kind of arduous process and that's why very few people ever succeding in coming back.

If you want to improve yourself in a short space of time then by all means do. It more than likely wouldn't take longer than 90 days either. But be prepared for those to be the worst 90 days of your life. Personally I can say that I am a much better person than I was two or three years ago but those improvements mostly came about from surviving extremely negative experiences. That, buddy, is not an 80s movie.

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Now, bring me that horizon!