Hi guys
Well, I've already posted before around 3 weeks ago here:
so-what-s-the-deal-here-help-required-vt167132.html but as with all things in life, things have changed up again once more and I'm curious as to know how to play it.
Basically, if you're bothered enough to read the above post I made then around 3 weeks ago (I don't blame you if you don't, but a quick skim of it would give you the background situation), I made the cardinal sin of telling a girl I liked her and therefore showing my hand. I knew I shouldn't have and it was an amateurish mistake... especially so, as considering the level of interest in me I had which I could have continued to play around with.
Anyway, to summarise since my last post, I decided to go into work Monday (after ignoring her during the weekend and her attempts to contact me) and act completely normal. I text, decided to retract what I said to her and tell her that in the company of her and her friend, I got a little excitable - just like some men do. She apologised too, and we continued to chat, talk and laugh as normal. Later, she initiated conversation via Facebook and we talked and bantered until we both went to bed.
The same went for the following day, Tuesday until she ended the conversation - which was fine. We continued to go about business as normal at work, though the flirting at work had pretty much stopped. Despite this, she insisted that I "go to a gig" with her and hangout around her parents where we can have a "competition" (something we'd been jesting about, for example, like a mini Olympics to determine who was strongest).
On the Wednesday I thought "f()ck this sh1t" and decided that I'll test how interested she is. I decided to not make any attempt to initiate conversation with her and only talk to her when I had to. No bantering, just a swift, decisive and cold withdrawal to starve her of my "attention".
It was hard, but I done it. She didn't really notice at first and Wednesday went by without too much trouble. She text in the evening asking me to recommend where she should stay on a holiday she's going on next year. I gave it a couple of hours, then text back "Hiya, try San Antonio". That's it. The Thursday and Friday after she started to twig, and she then began attempting conversation with me again, to which I went participated reluctantly, giving short, terse answers. She asked when we'd next go out again and I said I'd probably give it a "wide berth". Then she rattled on about the profile picture she had of me and her and how her mother phoned her and asked if I was her new boyfriend. I acted uninterested, backed away from her, being polite but not really giving a sh1t. Eventually, I managed to back my way out of the door and away from her and her conversation.
The past two weeks has seen the following action; she began to hover for a while around me and whenever I'd enter the room she's in, I could see her out of my peripheral vision staring at me. If I look, she looks away and so forth. One time, which was amusing, she walked from behind me to infront of me in a half-moon just glaring at me (wasn't smiling, wasn't frowning... just.... eyeballing me). I locked eyes, held, then look away. It was possibly one of the strangest looks that I've ever been given.
At the weekend, she text me past midnight (I think she saw that I was online late on FB and knew I was awake). She said she was drunk, to which I was reciprocated and said I was too. Bearing in mind we'd barely spoken at work, she then tells me her friend had slapped her ass and it had left a handprint. My reply was simple;
Me: "Pictures?"
Me: "Ha, joke"
One minute later, I've got a picture of a girls arse with a huge handprint on one side of her cheek. We bantered a little more and I suggested that someone should slap the other side, making it "even". She said someone already had and I countered whoever it was were a lucky bastard. Then the texts from her abruptly stopped. I sent one more wishing her a safe journey home and that was that.
So, the next week at work I kept up the pre-tense and as above, the hovering/staring continued. Latterly (in the past week), she's been attempting to jump into my conversations, ask me questions and is still laughing at the things I do. She's sought me out specifically twice to "tell her a funny story" (something I always used to do but have retracted) and in one incident, followed me, asked me to tell her a story. I refused point-blank. She then said "is that it then?" I said "yes" and she curled her lip, turned around and went off in a complete huff. As amusing as this was, I am beginning to wonder how long I can keep this up for.
This week also, she offered me the opportunity to go to her outside work activity, offered me a lift to somewhere I needed to go to after work and even asked a co-worker whether they knew if I was "meeting a girl at lunch". Other little things she asked was whether I wanted to see more pictures from the night she had out that her ass got slapped as they were far more explicit (I declined) and that she is "thinking of changing her hair colour" (note: she's just gone blonde to brown, so she wasn't jesting).
My problem is that I've another dynamic at play here. Previously, I mentioned my colleague/friend. Well, it's fair to say that he's definitely not the guy I thought I knew and trusted.
Since I told him about a month ago that I liked her, he changed. He's in a happy relationship with the girl of his dreams but unfortunately, he is the complete alpha-male. Ex-military with incredible confidence and with that, charm. He's upped his game like never before and despite his protestations to me that he's not flirting and is perfectly happy, he's now hovering around her at every opportunity absolutely bossing it.
Thing is, his experience far exceeds mine, hands-down. Half of his life he's been bedding women and he's got every single seduction technique down to a fucking tee. Obviously, I know this as I'm watching all this happen in front of me and ticking off the signals she's giving and everything he's doing... and whilst I'm witnessing this, I'm getting pretty fucking wound up about it. It's got so bad that he's now wormed his way into her outside work activity with one of his business ventures and had all her girlfriends fawning over him in their brief meet with him.
Now... I've tried to be pretty mature about this and let it ride and pretend I'm not bothered but I confronted him last week about what he was doing and told him to "put me out of my fucking misery and just bang her". He was taken aback, minced his words then walked off. He said he didn't know he'd been doing it and that he "can't help it if women like him". No offer to step back out of the limelight, just a shrug. The guy knows what he's doing as I've seen a concerted effort by him over the past four weeks by him to get her attention - and he has.
He's played it beautifully, unfortunately and because he's out of the office most of the day he gets to sweep in for an hour, crack jokes and leave a positive, lasting impression that she now always associated with him.
OK, so I'm in a complete catch 22. The truth is, I've kind of messed up myself. At the height of the interest, I had her attention to myself until about a month ago. I'd played the "ignore" game well but whilst distancing myself, he's swooped in and made himself the favourite... and despite his protestations to me (and latterly, a mutual friend that he isn't flirting etc) he's absolutely putting me out of the picture. To be fair, she's not my territory but he knows how I feel and seems like he's just doing this as he's a complete natural, enjoys the attention he's getting and getting a kick out of "beating" me. He's also now encouraging her to "do" things with her boyfriend etc etc... basically, he's being a cunt.
So, errrr, yeah, someone I have know for over 15 years as a friend is doing this to me and the irony is, I got him the job... what the fuck do I do now!!!?
PS: I've been "meeting" other girls in the meantime to keep myself in the game and practice, so it's not as if I'm hedging all my bets on this girl but... I've started now, I like her and I want to finish!
CHAT