HB9, never had so much drama with a girl in my life. But she's worth it & I'm worth it.

We are both very busy, we work.. we party.. alot. She has her social life and I have mine. We don't get along with each others friends. So when we're together its just me and her.

The chemistry we have is unreal. But she's had a tough past & turned into a dead cold hearted bitch.
She wouldn't contact me or ask me to hang out cause she thinks i'm 2 busy for her. She's so convinced that if she would open herself up to me, that I would break her heart but she doesn't give me a chance to prove to her that I'm not playing around, and that I genuinely would want to spend the rest of my life with her.

It just won't get through to her.. Anyway.. I've made clear to her that I don't wanna play these games, all this drama, its 2 much. I love her and she needs to realise and BELIEVE that. The amount of mind games that go through our relationship is unreal. She fucks with my head, pushes my buttons. I don't show her that sometimes it just fucks me over mentally. But I'm starting to lose myself. My dignity. She thinks that i'm a 'bad boy'. How far do I need to go so she would understand that I would be a good one just for her?

I'm not made out of glass. Glass breaks easily no matter how careful you are.
I'm made out of a finest bamboo.
You can bend me, but you can never break me.

Do I keep being the one to initiate contact? Do I keep being the one who would cancel his plans everytime to prove she means more than just a screw?

I'm lost here guys. I'd rather avoid letting her know she got her roots so deep in me. I've tried having a talk with her, telling her that I don't want to have 2 lifes with her, I want it to be one life. our life.
But she's so closed, I would do all the talking and she would just nod and listen, with this look in her eyes that she's about to cry. Later on she would apologize in a text saying she doesn't want to lose me and she can't live without me.

When is she gonna tell me this face to face? Or just make it public that we are together? Our relationship is on the downlow..Everyone knows that we fuck, not that we're in love. Concidering the fact she's so closed & cold, but saying that she can't live without me, is big. She knows it, I know it, and everyone that knows her would know it.

Fuck. What do I do? Messing this up is no option.

She is a freak by Wolfwood's definition. If you're not familiar, I think he links the descriptions to his posts automatically.

Clearly this chick has fucked you up. You start by saying she's worth it, but by the end of the post you're saying she's not worth it.

If you want to tame this one, or continue to deal with this stuff, my advice to you is to simply ignore her drama. Get yourself out of the mindset that she is "the one." She's not THE one, she's just ONE of MANY. Imagine yourself with an HB8 who is cool, no drama issues, and just makes you a better man.

Now, when your freak starts injecting drama, just remove yourself. If she has a point, then politely address it. If she is out of line or over the top, then politely tell her you hear what she is saying, and you disagree that it's a big enough problem to warrant the attention or concern she is giving it. After doing this, soft next her. When you soft next her, I'm not telling you to go fuck other women, but you should live your life. She should be the one to choose to calm down the drama and head games by choice, not because you tell her to stop. Let her figure out on her own that if she doesn't grow up, she doesn't get to be with you.

@ vhou812

This isn't a standard oneitis, I AM living my life, and she is living hers. Wouldn't be able to get over this one with just banging other chicks or get hobbies. My life is already busy, I keep my mind occupied. I get alot of attraction from girls and this is the one I chose, don't have to imagine myself with a cool babe that would make my dick hard instead of my life, cause i'm surrounded by them. Just as much as she gets alot of attraction from guys and is surrounded by 'good guys'. But there is no escape, I'm firm steel & she's the biggest magnet in the world.

As I stated, this is something else. But you're not wrong, I have to ignore the drama, or atleast gently blank it when thrown at my face if its something silly, wich it usually is.

my intention is to let her know that she's not the only one who's in love. Ignoring the drama would make her think I don't care anymore. The drama in the relationship is our way of saying we care, in some sort.. This flame won't go out, ever. Make up sex isn't supposed to happen every day..

these are the typical answers I'd get for not giving her the attention she craves.

'So that's it?
'You don't even fucking care do you?'
'Probably found another one ey?'
'Haha okay I can tell you're busy i'll let you to her;) I mean.. it*'

Stuff like that, that's not the message I wan't to give her.

I got a new plan, we talked a bit yesterday after another argument about jealousy. Looked her dead in the eye as she was laying on top of me, told her 'I know what we need. ONE weekend together, no party. That means thursday, friday & saturday. Just you and me & see how that goes.'
She seemed very pleased about that idea and agreed.

We usually just see each other in the week, and in the weekends we have sepperate lives & that's what's causing this drama mainly & the alcohol is not helping at all either.

I thank you for regarding my issue, will deffo check out the link you where talking about mate.

Just read wolfwoods thread, the 'Soft next' you where talking about is going to be my last attempt in taming this one.

After I see how our weekend went, thanks again.

Move on is the best advice I can give you

Despite my sometimes cynical exterior I've always been a romantic at heart which is probably why I'm going to recommend this but...

Why not just show her you care through a grand romantic gesture?

You two are already in a committed relationship and you want to show her that you care for her right?

Do something big. Rent a hot air ballon and pop open a bottle of champagne when you're up there. Take her to some classy place and give her some jewellery of some kind. Tell her that you're taking her out somewhere nice but don't tell her where.

I know it sounds AFC but if you feel uncomfortable doing this for her you should probably rethink whether you really want to spend the rest of your life with her.

Good luck dude,

Spark Plug

_________________
Be the change you want to see in this world because in the end it's not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.

Hi Spark Plug,

I don't want to lay it on too thick, and to be fair, she doesn't deserve that right now. I know it sounds stupid cause that's not how a relationship works but the only way we can get through this bullshit is that she needs to know that at any given point, I could be gone & on to the next one.

She has enough hopeless lads that are begging for her attention, and I am that fresh breeze to her that she never had, a challenge if you will.

I'm not saying that I'll never do something like this for her, but right now is not the time. Especially when she's been adding useless drama to the relationship and I DON'T want to reward that behavior.

but thanks for investing your time in my little piece of drama =)

@Themagicalone

Currently soft nexting her and she would say or do anything to get a reaction out of me at this point.
Preparing for break-up, t' was probably inevitable. What a shame, the chemistry we had is unreal.

Start getting some bench players if you think its about to end will make the break up a lot easier

Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with her, Kravous? She seems really unstable. As far as I'm concerned she's not even GF material, mate.

HOLY BAGGAGE SPAM!!!

It's not your task to play therapist, if she's convinced herself you're a certain way this has nothing to do with you but is rather merely a projection stemming from her past. Here's the thing: she has this conceptualization of men which is very strong. If you push at her she'll only run away from you more as you (and probably all men) are unsafe for her/a threat to her ego. I've encountered this before, it never ends well. I'd disabuse yourself now and move onto something with a woman who is healthier. The drama that's ensuing is a product of you settling for this, if you truly believed you're worth more you would extricate yourself from this god-forsaken situation.

[/quote]Start getting some bench players if you think its about to end will make the break up a lot easier[/quote]

Bench players?

By the way she just posted a status saying 'Girls; if he can't open your pants with his mouth, he's not worth it'

dafuq is that all about, trying to get a reaction out of me I suppose?

Start getting some bench players if you think its about to end will make the break up a lot easier[/quote]

Bench players?[/quote]
Girls that you can start messing with set up things with

Yes reaction, don't give in. Be your usual cool self as if you didn't read it. Keep gaming her, keep your expectations low, they are over the roof. What if she is fooling you and doesn't you like you as much as you think? Only your attention. Keep your options open and try to keep this girl as a F-Buddy. Im doing the same thing and its fucking my mind but its better then seeing her as a potential GF while she doesnt see me as a BF, it would fuck my mind even more. If you can't handle it, drop it.

Kravous,

You say you choose this one in the face of others. That's all well and good. One thing to remember to help keep your emotions in check is that you control who you choose, but you have little control over who she chooses.

Focus on your shit, not hers. Ask yourself if any of the drama is warranted. If it is, fix whatever you think makes it warranted. When you've done this, you should be able to keep your frame when she tries to blow it up. Part of what should make you a challenge or of higher value is that you won't stoop to retarded games just because she squeals for attention. Better for you and her if you do what you can for her to understand what you want in a partner. From there it's up to her to choose to be that or lose you.

The post is a shit test, and nothing more than a ploy to drag you into a bunch of drama. Rise above it and force her to either come up to your level or be left behind you to play around with the lesser men in your arena.