The sixth day of my recovery. I could contain my anger even more although I still felt numb at most, still no reaction from my M-16. Some girls showed slight signs -- one was even faintly smiling -- of flirting but I'm not sure if they really did since most didn't after all.

I also got rid of my 4-month hair and looks like a girl I talked to today liked it as she was quite responsive to what I was talking about, which was anyway more fluid, probably thanks to me recovering.

The last 2 days were also spent with distributing flyers of an event held by an organisation where I volunteer. I passed them up to the bypassers, and surprisingly only about 20% rejected them, and only less than 5% treated me as if I wasn't there, which I didn't give a shit to; I'm still alive and well anyway.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

A week since the last masturbation and porn looking has gone. Noticeable changes: I felt more calm than ever, and I actually noticed that I never mentioned unconsciously the name of the girl I used to be in crush with; which I had done for six years straight non-stop, even before I started my recovery; my SPAM even told me that he had overheard me mentioning her name as I was sleeping. And I felt very very calm, really didn't give shit about many things. While the erection dysfunction was still an issue, it's erect a bit when I recall sexual experiences and fantasies and I felt more quite connected with girls these days emotionally. The last time I felt like this was like 7 years back.

I also can't believe how many flirts I've got today. Some girls smiled outright at me, some looked me in the eye with typical girly flirty looks, one even sounded excited with my every move (sounding as if "oh so sweet") as I was about to sleep in the park. One even had her friend tell her what I was doing as she didn't want to look in my eye directly (I could hear it, I'm not stupid ). Another, part of the organisation team, clearly was flirting with me even though she had mentioned once that she lived with a boyfriend in a town nearby; I was looking at a direction when I was noticing that she looked in my direction. At that point I thought she was looking at something or someone behind me, so I moved behind a bit and noticed she still did the same so she was clearly flirting with me. We struck a talk some hours later as there was a chance. She was very open and in the end I got her number and as we said goodbye, she mentioned that I've got her number so we could talk to each other, a good sign, no?

Still a long way to go to reverse my brain chemical imbalance. Gonna hit a party after I finished writing this post and wanna mostly see how many flirts I'll get haha. Bye and hope you guys are on the right track. And don't masturbate to porn, literally.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

8 days off porn and masturbation. Felt a bit blue as I was writing this post, probably the recovery is kicking in now and it's the side effect. I expect it to get worse but deep inside I feel relieved that it's happening since it should end up in a good thing. Can't wait till I fully recover.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Day 10 of recovery. Can't believe what happened. Kiss close and near FC.

Got to know this girl on a university festival day. She flirted with me a bit when she was sitting on a bank so I decided to give a go by asking first if she went there alone and our talked went further to a point where we got to know each other by name and it turned out that we had known each other 2 weeks before. Then we watched the piano show there where I occasionally throw jokes. The weather then went a bit bad and we bet on the weather for a beer where she eventually won. Then we went home to her flat in the nearby so that she could change her jacket as it had got too cold for her. Tried to kino her and she said I was trying to flirt with her, which of course I playfully said no to and we went into a debate on that. Then I got her her beer and we sat on a bank where we would talk about PUA stuffs and so on. After 20 minutes I went for a kiss on the cheek and eventually on the lips after a couple of minutes. She was really into me; the whole time she would occasionally look at me and I would tease that she was flirting with me too, lol. I teased quite a lot and was pretty dominant. Then we went on a romantic kiss as we went for the other shows and I could notice that there were lots of girls showing evil looks at her hahaha. Then we kissed on a bank in a dark corner, and there I started to touch her on her bodies till she asked me to stop. I then asked her if I was allowed to come into her flat but she refused and at one point she was afraid if I was going to dump her for her refusing me but I told her that that wasn't the case. After the third time I asked her if I could drop by just 15 minutes so that I could recover and then went home since it was raining and cold. She eventually let me and we kissed a little bit more in the flat. I then managed to uncloth her, and was about to have sex with her but my erection dysfunction stopped me, SHIIIIIIT. She then noticed that I looked sad at that point and I told her about my recovery. We then would spend the whole night hugging each other nude and every time I wanted to go home she would steal my T-shirt and jacket and eventually the key door so that I couldn't go home, and what was supposed to be a 15-minute stay ended up having been spent with her from 1 up to 4 AM hahaha. She was really into me.

The day after I dropped by again since my SPAM was in a big fight with her boyfriend, making me a one-day refugee. There I found that she couldn't sleep since she was so excited being with me. Wow. We made out again but too bad my M-16 wasn't erect the whole time. Then as I wanted to go to a friend she cried. Was I that good??

Not the best closing but I like her so I think I'll stay with her for a while. Still disappointed with my erection dysfunction. Shit, can't wait till I get outta this hole.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Day 12. First FC from my own attempts in life. This girl is totally into me even though we just got to know each other since 3 days ago. Long story made short, she insisted that I stay at her place. There I noticed that my erection had gotten more solid day by day, it was so good that she said that it was the best sex in her life (she had only had sex with her ex and she never came). She still didn't came yet with me but we agreed that the sex we had got better with the course of time.

And now I'm struggling to contain her emotion since every time I came to her flat, she just wouldn't let me go even though she said herself that I had turned her attention from her study. I don't know how this will look like but there's a chance that I'll take a break from the sarging scene since I know somebody I can emotionally attach to.

To be honest I'm still too tired since I just slept for two hours at her place. Will write more if there's something big going on.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Good job on keeping up the posts even with little feedback from the community. In my opinion you just lack more approaches which im sure you have identified. I have also identified this in my own game as well. Of course I am limited to who I can game because I dont know German and I have been living here for a year and 4 months lol. Anyways I dont think you should step away from the sarging scene just yet. Your still young and have alot more room to grow as a man. Also I know that being able to connect with somebody emotionally is very comforting and all but make sure you remind yourself what your true intensions are for your life. Say if you step off the sarging game for a little while because you are "emotionally connecting" (<You know what i mean) with this girl. Then you have to be ready to face the fact that if things go south that you might have to start almost all over with your gaming since you have barely even scratched the surface on what you could possibly achieve.

PS that girl sounds a little crazy

Thanks for the feedback, it's been a while since seeing the last one.

To be frank I don't care anymore about not getting commented by other members even though it was admittedly depressing to see at the beginning. In the end, I think I'll take pride in that fact.

Actually I've spent the last days approaching some ladies before meeting the girl, but it wasn't really worth mentioning since I didn't some numbers out of them in the end and my aura was pretty much shit. And with her I always joke that I could go to another girl if I want to, and while it's true that I mean it as a joke, I also mean it literally too: I've got some experience with a girl and if that relationship goes sour, I don't think I'll get much trouble jumping the ship, more so since there are more and more girls flirting with me.

Anyway, it's day 19 since my recovery starts. Spending my days finishing my university applications at most. There were some girls, pretty cute ones for my standard, who smiled and looked repeatedly at me, so I talked to them so as not to let them down, but not more than that. I did that also to refresh my PUA skills, you know.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Hey if your running out of things to say try making a game out of it. It has helped me alot when trying to come up with something on the fly. If you havent already watch LAHWF on youtube. This guy just goes around and does awkward situations with random people. If used some of this stuff to break the ice and get numbers. Also it keeps you active with engaging with people especially girls.

Day 23. Don't feel like cheating at the moment although there were clearly chances: I was in a birthday party f a friend where there were girls who checked me out and in the end there were two drunken Spanish girls trying to close me by talking about Indonesia in actually not very good English but I talked to them anyway but cut it off after some minutes since I've promised my, errr, girlfriend to pick her up on the way home.

At the same party I also sat beside this blonde girl whom I had met months before. It seemed to impress her that I could recall what we had been speaking at the last meetup. It wasn't a lively talk at first before we switched gear as we were having a quite lively debate about the definition of hometown lol. There's a guy sitting to him who comes from Luxembourg, with whom we're talking about the country and there I showed what I knew about the place and the blonde girl looked impressed. She then had to leave early but suggested twice that I add her Facebook, which I did but still didn't get approved as I was writing this post.

From inner game front, hmmm, definitely more girls are checking me out and during these 23 days my mood has been much more stable than it used to be, also during the time that I said my mood had been stabilising blablabla lol. My erection has got hardened, but overall I still don't get excited by girls and the recovery has been slow yet I'll keep on the course; it's just not too worth it to go back to the cliff, I've achieved so much that I could even imagine in my lifetime.

Looking back at my past hunts, I also noticed that at some points, rather than negging a girl, I insulted her, leading to nowhere. While my aura was also to blame, I need to sometimes keep the lid on my tongue.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

So it's like day 27 or something, starting to lose count of it now, but still wanna keep the upward trajectory. Probably one month more to go because my erection, my mood and my ability to think clearly haven't recovered totally.

The girl I've been dating since 2.5 weeks ago are into me, but there's a problem if we decide to go on: she doesn't wanna move to the other city where I'll continue my study if she has finished her bachelor study. This is not a problem for me; I can approach other girls, but I feel bad about her not letting me go. Every time we came into the discussion, she would break into tears so we'd spend time hugging each other. I also hope we won't break contact with each other if we decide to split; life goes on, but it feels a bit bad. After all this is a relationship which intensity I haven't reached anywhere during my lifetime.

Trying to look for work now so as to fill in my bank account, so that I'll have enough money to show the immigration officials to get a visa extension by the next April when my current visa is supposed to end.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Exactly 4 weeks now. Had sex with my girlfriend or whatsoever and I notice that this time I'm easier to stimulate and during the sex she said I was like an animal. Suddenly it felt good again to feel the pain from the erecting penis striking my penis hairs lol. Too bad that I had that sex like an hour after my lunch so I felt a bit pain in my belly and thus had to slow the game so as to prevent anything nasty. The pain subsided after we had finished and she was impressed.

I also learned that women appear to get offended when it came to the discussion about their weight; even talking about what they can do to cut the numbers on the scale might make the talk uncomfortable. Probably it should only be a talk among the ladies rather than with us males. This doesn't apply to my girlfriend but also to other girls I've talked to in my life as well.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Day 34. Should abstain from having sex too. It turns out the recovery process from the articles I read also involves abstaining from orgasm, and I do this almost once every second day since I was so excited to get her. Probably should make it weekly or once every two weeks to speeden things up.

On a hindsight, I think I should revert all this to day one again.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

What are you trying to gain from abstaining yourself from sex again?

Restoring my erection, my sexual lust, my overall mood and my thinking clearliness. My everything.

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.

Today marks the near completion of my day 7.... yeah I've relapsed again, my GF oraled me and we had just had a fight shortly before so I had to give in to dose the fire lol.

Was in a club for the first time after like 2 months. Some girls did check me out but not all. The best part there was that I didn't feel the slightest of anxiety although I was surrounded by gorgeous girls. Even better, on my way home there was a girl whom I had gazed shortly before who touched my ass and my right hand and she was walking past me while saying, "oops". She was admittedly hot but I've been in a relationship plus my libido hasn't fully recovered so I just said hi. Yeah I know I've wasted a chance but I didn't regret it a lot. That was the first time in my life such thing has ever happened and I'm proud of myself especially for having started this recovery!

Anyway some food of thought for you guys, it's the collection of stories of the folks who have recovered from masturbation and porn addiction: www.reuniting.info/download/pdf/Social.anxiety.pdf

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Stop masturbating and watching porn for the sake of your game.