Hey guys, I’m new here.

I have come here for help with a matter other than usual here.
It looks cool - so many people with a goal of getting better at getting closer to women. Have no experience with pua, an start to see it as a problem now.

So here is the deal. My female friend - a woman with good manners and open heart, very sensitive and sensual, but utterly naive - has been worked on for several months by a guy who happens to deal drugs. I know they have had their first attempts with some, but do not know the details.
What i see is that first, she is getting very involved, also admires his wit and all you could imagine, second, he is very systematically using all the dumbest looking techniques, which after all seem to work, third, he seems to be progressing like a snake, but before her eyes are projected ideas of safety, abundance, peace, freedom, good job, child, you name it.

Could be none of my business if I didnot care of her good and if I felt that she was in control. I do, she is not, to say the least.

All my words of warning seem to bring the opposite effect. I am afraid she is losing her faculty of critical thinking. She is also getting impatient, unreasonable, chaotic, unaware of this change of her personality.
I wonder how I could help her. She is already in her 30s, never tried drugs before, she used to trust me, but now it does not matter. The guy is rich, smart, open-minded, well dressed, does sport. His last girl persistently complained he was cold to her until he left her to get this one. He is progressing very skillfully, in an unconfrontational manner, but there are traces of playing on her lowest fears and dreams in a way which worries me so badly.

I guess this kind of problem doesnot qualify to a pua forum. I am going to try also on psychiatry and addiction, but I thought maybe someone here could use your knowledge of women to suggest what steps I could take to maybe break the “spell”. Could I use some mudslinging?

I will appreciate sound advice.

iao

Firstly don't keep on at her about how bad the guy is. Unfortunately she'll find out for herself when it's too late as she seems to be hell bent on going on what she sees as an exciting journey to do as many wild and outrageous things as possible with him. If you kinda keep nagging her, she'll get on the defensive and will start pushing you away. This is a frustrating situation for you to be in but maybe you need to back off? It will be hard. Do you like meet up a lot/occasionally? It looks like the shit will eventually hit the fan and if you are waiting in the wings for her, I'm sure she'll turn to you for help when she gets in too deep. It's a waiting game. If you want to wait that is??? Mud slinging (about him you mean?) will only make her more determined to be with him. I reckon it'll have the reverse affect as she'll see it that she's with a bad boy.

Saying nothing, shrugging when she talks about him and generally being disengaged/not interested and deliberately talking about something else might make her see sense.

Finally, maybe you also need to be honest with yourself as perhaps you are reading this all wrong because you fancy her and like her so much. Is it maybe that ANY guy who hits on her won't be good enough for her in your eyes? Could that be it? No one is good enough for her? However from what you've said the guy does sound like an absolute dick head but do you secretly want to get with her or are you genuinely concerned for her wellbeing/safety?

Hope that helps a bit.

You are probably right. These two factors seem to have a common core. I was deeply confused at the time she got involved with him because I took her excitement with him for her affection with me. I have gone throght deep pain of disillusionment in that respect. WHen I let go and was ready to back off, I started worrying that she had gone crazy; well some of her ideas still seem disturbed.

The next stage was an intention to wait and not interfere, but keep an eye on her. Now I am starting to think that it might not be that bad; maybe I was spoiling the fun to them and to myself.

Which techniques or behaviors would guys who are adept in PU and maybe matured, consider malevolent?

Let me list some I have noticed. FOr the time being, let us assume I am not getting a radically distorted picture because of my envy.


- bombards her with love (okay, I exclude this one as malevolent; it is not bad in itself)
- whatever she likes, he admits he is like this (probably not bad either)
- looked her straight in the face and said she was a bitch
- invites her to start a business which she has no experience with, nor does he, but which will clearly support his own business (which somehow escapes their attention); he proposed this venture right after having told her with a face and tone of an expert, which he is not, that her idea for a life's business, which she has had for years, is not very feasible; his last girlfriend also supported his family business, and now is out
- plays on her fears concerning her dying mother, presents himself as a wonderful caretaker of his dying grandmother (I knew him for a while, but had never heard a mention of her before)
- started repeating how it is his mission to help his dearest friends financially when becomes very rich after he heard she expressed her gratitude to still another guy for his past help


What makes me concerned is not event that he says sounds so synthetic in its being outright feedback of what he hears from her, so inauthentic, as much as that he seems disrespectful of her feelings. Are any of the mentioned behaviors clear cues that his intentions are bad, that he would not feel reservations against doping her dangerously, abuse her, fuck with her mind like dangerous sects are said to do?