So I've been doing this whole thing for about 7 months now. Read all the books, understand shit very well, banging a different girl literally every weekend. Life is good.

Problem is, the girls I'm genuinely interested in constantly flake me. I'll give two examples. Good female friend I took to Vegas a month ago. Didn't hit on her or anything, just there having a good time, being the man hitting on other girls. We end up back in the room together and I just go in for the make out. Then we fuck. It's fun and we laugh and I'm not needy or anything. Then she gets a call from some dude she met earlier that day and immediately starts getting ready for a date with him. In my hotel room. I'm real non-chalant about it, I don't actually care, I'm just pretty confused. She looks at me and asks me if I care if she goes on this date. I laugh and say no because I actually didn't care. I'd be down to bang this girl again, but I'm not gonna get upset about it cuz I'm in Vegas. I just think its weird.

Second story -- I end up moving to the same town as this girl from college that I always flirted with in college but she always had a boyfriend. Saturday night I drunkenly text her, telling her to come to this bar, not really expecting much to happen. She calls me and seems all excited and tells me to come pick her up. I pick her up we go to this bar and don't even meet the people we were going to meet cuz we're having such an awesome time together. We end up going to a different bar by ourselves and talking and drinking for like 2 hours. I'm not even hitting on her but I can tell she's really into it -- she starts saying shit like "I can't believe Im doing this, I just broke up with my boyfriend", like sex with me is already on her mind. I'm super chill about it, we make out in the bar and then I just pull her out of there to a cab back to her place. At her place we immediately go into her room and fuck. Literally zero resistance. She's really into it, we get breakfast the next day, everything is pretty ideal. She texts me later in the day that she had fun, blah blah. Today I text her today saying we should get a drink this week. No response.

I'll add these girls are both super high quality -- like 9/10's with graduate degrees. They both just got out of a relationship like a few weeks before we hooked up. I think that could be the problem. But they also both said the same things to me throughout the night like "ohhh i bet you say this to all the girls", "you just get whoever you want dont you", shit like that. Do they just see me as the fun dude they wanna bang but isn't trustworthy for a relationship? I'm cool with that (obviously), but its kind of frustrating cuz I genuinely want to take things further with either of these chicks. Its like the second you give an inkling of a fuck about them, theyre no longer interested haha. Welcome your guys thoughts.

I remember an email I received from Brad... It was one of the newsletter things.

Here it is as it pertains to "friends with benefits" or in this case, "fuck buddies".

.::::: This is the email/newsletter in full :::::.

Hey,

Friends with benefits are a must for any single guy.

You can call or text them whenever you like, get them over to your place for sex and kick them out the door without any feelings lost.

Why? Because you’re both in an agreement which means you can use each other for sex whenever you both see fit.

This means that you won’t hurt each others feelings (usually) and you get all the benefits of getting laid.

In this article you’re going to learn some killer friends with benefits advice that will allow you turn any girl into a “F**k buddy” and keep them like that until you want to either take things further or stop seeing them without losing them as a friend.

Not only am I going to tell you how, I’m also going to give you the whys and the rules, which detail what you should and shouldn't ever do.

So get ready for the most in-depth friends with benefits guide you’ve ever read!

How To Turn A Girl Into A F**k Buddy
Here are some friends with benefits tips and specific steps, take note dude:

Create a connection with her – Nothing can begin without you building some level of rapport and a connection with her. If it’s just a one night stand you’re after, then you don’t need much of a connection. A friend with benefits, is a little more complex, so you have to be willing to put the time in.

Find out her situation – Ask her if she’s seeing anyone or is looking for a relationship. If she’s looking for a relationship, then it’s probably not a good idea to use this girl for sex, as she will get emotionally attached. If she’s single and says “I’m not looking for anything right now” then she’s perfect for this type of friendship.

Tell her what you want and give her a choice – Let her know that you like her sexually, but you don’t want anything serious. Say to her “Listen, why don’t we call each other when we want sex and just have some fun” Leave it at that and see what she says.

Try not to come across as a desperate guy who just wants to use her for sex, this will not look good for you and she’ll be turned off.

Friend With Benefits Rules You Must Stick To
• Never act desperate – If you text or call and she doesn’t want to come over for sex. Just leave it at that, don’t beg her or act like a desperate idiot.
• Keep it between you and her – There’s no need to tell the world that you’re both having sex with each other. So keep it hush hush.
• Keep it very casual – If you use her for sex too much, it will become boring and the fun will fizzle out. So once a week or every two weeks is good.
• Be brutally honest – If she asks whether you’re seeing other girls, be honest and say yes. You have nothing to hide, you’re not in a relationship and it’s not exclusive.
• Choose wisely – If she becomes a good friend, don’t have sex with her because this can ruin a great friendship.
• If you fall for her, STOP – Feelings can cause jealousy and a whole host of other problems, so if you fall for her tell her and end it… unless she likes you too and you can move things forward.
• Be safe – Obviously where contraception dude, don’t be an idiot. Especially if you’re seeing multiple girls.
• Be nice to her – Friends don’t treat each other like dirt, so you need to treat her with respect. Otherwise she will feel used and dirty.
• Set rules with her – It’s a good thing to set a few ground rules so you both know where the boundaries are.
• It will end at some point – Everything ends and changes, your f**k buddy will too. When this happens, don’t let it bother you just move on and find someone else.
• Don’t be protective – If you see her out with another guy, never get jealous or protective. She’s not your girlfriend so she can do what she likes with other guys. Same goes for if she sees you with another girl.
• Keep it simple – This means no dates, holidays together or anything that could cause you to have feelings.
• Tell her if you start a relationship – You need to let her know if you get into a proper relationship with another girl. Don’t keep having sex with her, otherwise you’re cheating.
Beware: You And Her Might Get Hurt
Yes we all like a bit of nookie, but we’re only human so there are going to be feelings on both sides at some point.

When this happens it’s pretty much game over and you should end the sex at that very moment, otherwise someone will get hurt.

Common Questions
Can you turn an ex-girlfriend into a friend with benefits?

You can, but this would be very tricky and your emotions would get involved which is just not a good idea. So it’s best to stay away from trying to make her your f**K buddy.

What should I do if she starts getting feelings for me?

You need to tell her that you’re not looking for anything serious at the moment and if she can’t continue having fun, then she needs to stop seeing you sexually. It’s more than likely she’ll stop seeing you though, because the feelings will only grow.

What are the boundaries?

Keep it fun and simple, no deep feelings or treating her like dirt. respect that she’s in this for the same reason you are.

So that’s it dude. Straightforward friends with benefits advice that will easily allow you to get a girl (or even a bunch of girls) as your f**K buddy.

Thanks,
-Brad

_________________
| NLP eBooks etc | SEDUCTION eBooks etc |
| Sexual Decoder System (Yes, that one) **PDFs / Videos** |
I have reviewed A LOT of PUA books, videos, etc. I only upload the ones that have the best information.

Yeah, I think that is good advice if you want a fuck buddy, but I'm not really looking for that. To be perfectly honest, I've banged a ton of random girls lately and I feel like I want to get in a relationship. haha maybe I'm becoming a chode, but thats just my feeling.

Its so funny to me how bullshit conventional dating wisdom is. I dont give a fuck about anything, I say and do whatever I want, and chicks love it. Then the second I start to care, they peace. Its kind of hilarious actually.

That's just the way it is. You'll have to live with it.

It's called the Bad Boy - Ovulation Syndrome. There are several scientific studies which indicate that many girls will fuck with the bad boy at peak ovulation and then go lovey dovey with the nice guy for the rest of the ovulation cycle.

The bad boy has 5 to 6 days to fuck these girls out of 28 days while the nice guys will have their fun time with these girls for 22 to 23 days.

Another option is to use Vibe Theory. Play the nice guy for 22 to 23 days and then shift to bad boy mode during a girl's peak ovulation days.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Start letting the one that you want see you more and more often. It's kind of a tricky balance to find because you don't want to go complete AFC on her but you do want to show her that you have feelings for her that are beyond a sexual object. Start taking her places with you, start calling her and inviting her to hang out more... Obviously, don't get all needy about it and if she blows you off, go fuck someone else. Forget about her. And let her come back. My girlfriend now... I fucked her for the first time 2 years ago at a Halloween party. We would fuck every couple of months after that... A friends with benefits situation. Then I started letting her hang out with me and letting her be the one to do nice things for me. I let her feel as if she won me over. Its not bad at all lol she does nice things for me. Cooks for me. Cleans up after me. Does my laundry. Takes care of me when I'm sick. And expects to get dicked down by me every night of the week. And ontop of that... she's beautiful and the sex is phenomenal.

Just make sure you keep your same values as a PUA but you give more of your time and affection to her... Meaning know that you could go out and fuck some other girl regardless of what happens but let her feel as if she is your #1... And don't stop talking to other women. You don't have to have sex with them, obviously. But still talk and flirt to keep your skill set developing.

Dear Broseidon55,

Flakiness is not that simple to understand, as it can be, I believe, part of some game or, just genuine caused by some situation in the background that you cannot see.

If I take your examples, I think the first girl is gaming you in a very bad way. She is very sick. Maybe a bit premature to catalogue her as a freak but it's very likely. Does not mean you cant LTR a freak, as many of us have done that but it is something you have to be very strong about. LTR with a freak (I actually dislike this term) is tough, and that's maybe what she was trying to tell you by acting this way.

The second one is very different. She may have got back with BF and "trying to work things out" or many other things can be happening there in the background. Give her some space, this can mean a whole ovulation cycle (Cheers Hellhound I love your post) or any relevant thinking, reset period you and her may need. Taking it to breakfast if you are after an LTR is good however you know how women are in our countries, they like to game us for some reason. I would have gave it a safety period of time after this breakfast, for various reasons.

So yes, don't think they are all out to flake you, it's not all about you. Every case is different and just thinking "Oh she is flaking me" and throw her in the "Flaked" bag is not helping it at all.

Don't worry mate, life is not all about sarging and women, focus on your career, your real goal in life. Women are good to have but then again it is only secondary, you know what I mean.

Hope this helps. Good luck amigo.

R_III

PS: I am facing the exact same issue at the moment you can check my post here chasing-dark-princess-vt163810.html

Sounds like girl #1 was feeling you out to see where she stood with you, whether there was any attachment or direction intended with that fuck. Remember, you're the leader and more often than not she's going to look to you. The message you sent was casual friend fuck with no romantic intent or attachment. Contrary to what a lot of the pua community preaches, a little bit of possessiveness in the beginning (emphasis on a little) can actually be a good thing if you want to take it down the relationship track and don't go overboard or low value with it. Done right, verbally asserting your desire can indicate to her your intent to bond, not just fuck.


I disagree with the previous poster that she's sick and she's a freak. The entire story she's following your lead, where you're being nonchalant, hitting on other people and not her, and basically keeping things chill and nonchalant. When the guy asked her on a date A. you hadn't slept with her and B. you hadn't even actually hit on her, you were over the hitting on other girls. Totally cool of course, but hey, it does set the tone for her that it's not only perfectly reasonable that she does the same, but possibly even expected.

Now the OP sleeps with her and that changes things. But wait.. does it really? If he's been hitting on other girls the whole time, somewhere in her mind is the question "was that just a fuck, or is that going somewhere or what?"

Other dude calls and she starts getting ready for her date, because she's been thinking like a single woman. She is a single woman and OP has been treating her like a single woman. Another perspective, what if she got that call and and instead of getting ready for the date decided that she wanted to spend the night in with the OP or on a date with him. I mean, that'd be awesome and all, and she'd more than likely be down with it (since she DID just sleep with him) but... oh.. what if he's not thinking of it like that, or thinks she's needy or desperate to be his girlfriend? She doesn't know what's going on in his head and can only discern from the cues he's giving. Where does she stand?

What does she do? She asks. She literally asks his permission. She's been following his lead the entire time, and continued to do so the whole way through.


Now as to where you are right now, like other people have been saying FWB is your best bet and you have an ideal situation for that. They've already given great advice. I'll add just one thing:
Remember, she looks to you for leadership.


Girl #2 having just got out of a long term relationship. "I can't believe I'm doing this" not only indicates sex with you was on her mind right away, it also shows a bit of inner conflict within her mind, she's totally unclear where her boundaries and desires are as a single woman, at least for a brief window until she sorts it all out (again, within her own mind) what sort of dating and sex patterns she wants to adopt. This could mean back to BF. This could mean period of sleeping around deliberately avoiding attachment. This could be hunting for a new boyfriend. This could be a period where sex and dating isn't a priority. Who knows? Least of all not her. You may be in that weird bermuda traingle esque region where her decision on how she wants to go forward will dictate how she treats her rendezvous with you. Could go any direction really, and it's honestly not much in your hands. Just keep solid and take it as it comes, no worries.

Created a separate thread regarding girl #2. "Chode Relapse" in the Field Reports section. Check it out.