So it's not really a lay, but whatever.

This one girl's been begging me for my SPAM. When I finally SPAM her, she showed me her boobs and started doing sexual stuff.

lol The day after I sense some HUGE buyer's remorse or anti-slut defense. I've never had this problem even with chicks in real-life, they're always thankful right after. What do you do to remedy anti-slut defense and buyer's remorse??

Web-camming is an extremely odd way of initiating a form of visual sexual intimacy... Personally, I enjoy the excitement of seeing them for the first time before doing the deed.

As for redemption on that one, it's a shitty situation and tough to come back from, because she was a cam-whore. Was there any physical intimacy before this? Flirting? Escalating?

For a girl who shows you her tits for the first time over the internet and not in person, I'm guessing she has some self-esteem issues. I'm not an expert in this situation by any means, but I'd say you should take some initiative in-person and start to escalate. She may just feel awkward because she knows you've seen her naked in your 'internet relationship' and you haven't (assuming) done anything in-person. The 'internet alter-ego' syndrome seems to be pretty prevalent in this one, and it can literally be as extreme as having a second personality or even life. Medically defined, it's called Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.). Perhaps reading up on it may help?

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/diss ... y-disorder

Yeah we're sexual in phone calls and pictures before then. She thought I didnt like it. Im guessing she felt bad because she played her best cards and thought I wasnt into it.


But in general terms, what's a great way of getting rid of antislut defense and buyer's remorse? Not just for this one chick, but if it happens in the future.

Buyer's remorse is typically prevented - not fixed. It's extremely hard to redeem yourself from BR - just from personal experience. If you want her as a FB - move on. If she's already feeling remorse, she's going to be incapable of it. Hell, even if she was capable... if she's feeling bad about it now, she obviously wants more.

If that's something that interests you, you should probably still move on; but, if you're like me... I'd give it one more shot. She didn't feel validated enough for her actions and you didn't build/convey enough value before the sexual activity happened. Same thing goes with why she assumed that you didn't like it before... she probably feels like she is the one who's moving too fast and making the advances. I'd take one of two approaches. An aggressive approach probably isn't the best (yet). I'd want you to get other people's input on this before doing it since it's somewhat "anti-PUA;" but, if it continues to be awkward and you're damn sure it's a result of her titty flashing etc., trying to get on the same page as her (i.e. what you want) would be the last resort . What would normally be considered AFC shit I think would be an exception in this circumstance... If she can feel like her actions were warranted and had purpose, maybe you can have some redemption. After that happens, you need to start making moves so she doesn't feel this way again.

In the future, just make sure that the girl doesn't feel so responsible for it and build enough value in her so she can validate that the hook-up or whatever was worth it. Reverse psychology and influencing her to convince you (and as a result, herself) of something ahead of time is tough, but a much better chance from what I've done. Not always... but better.

Hope this helps. I'm new to this forum, but by no means new to PUA.

Okay, I'm mind-blown by Clabont's medical knowledge, grasp of the English language, and general thoughts.

But if I may, in laymen's terms, I would simply give the girl the validation she longs for. In PUA, the wise advice given is to never give the validation girls want. Kind of like the stereotypical Asian father never being satisfied enough with his son's academic performances, the son will push himself to get that validation. But given the circumstances, I would find it acceptable to have an open talk about her buyer's remorse. Tell her you like her, that you find her pretty, etc. Heck, tell her you see the potential in her being a girlfriend. Now although this may sound beta, that doesn't mean you have to stop being alpha. Punish her bad behaviour, don't be afraid to go cold turkey, etc.

You guys are right. Even if that advice doesnt work on this girl, I bet it works for most others.

This girl thinks Im a player (even though I know shes seeing multiple guys) and maybe I needed to give her a little attention.

After she did that, she sent me some beautiful messages but I was busy and couldnt get back right away. Then I saw a decrease in communication from her. Maybe its other dudes getting their way, or she's trying to play it cool. But I went against the typical pua thing and gave her a little validation. Shes responding, but still short little responses.



Whatever it's good to learn it now!

Hahaha! That's the best compliment I've received this week. Thanks.

Thanks for refining my overly verbose response. It's funny how when looking at someone else's situation, the answers seem so much more prevalent than your own. Sometimes it's just helpful to have someone point something out that you already knew but needed reminding. I know I need it quite often, and I still get stumped... Maybe SF just has difficult women so I'm veteraned to shit scenarios (or maybe I just have bad taste).

Point being... @fundanceman, you're doing the right things if you've come this far with her. You'll find that BR's prevalence will diminish the more you encounter it (stupid, I know). Just make sure after each win/loss you learn, recognize, and criticize yourself on the things you'll continue or do differently. Like you're doing now! Just don't dwell.

Do keep us posted! Hope this helped.

Thanks man!

Being a bit older than when I first started, I can now recognize the start of buyers remorse.

It going away the more times you encounter it makes sense.

I took the risk and made sure she knew anything she did with me was special and appreciated. I think it worked. But may have done a no-no. Part of doing this, is catching yourself before you're givign her "too much" comfort and connection.

I think I talked with her a little too long. Maybe not talking to her for like 2-3 days (while things are neither too bad or too good) can make delete those negative points of being needy.

It sounds like overreacting, but you never want her to remember that really boring long conversation. Definitely a smart balance with costly mistakes.

I think you've done what you can do. Don't over-criticize yourself for elongating the conversation - if she was actually open to it and needed to hear it, she did.

However... waiting 2-3 days may be very contradictory to what you hinted at or are looking to have achieved by your conversation. She seems to need assurance, and not talking for that long may make it seem as though you're gaming her and told her what you thought she wanted to hear for that reason alone. If anything, you don't want to let her think about this potentially 'boring' conversation for 3 days. I'd say find a good reason to message her, and go for it tomorrow night at the latest.

I'm drowsy and drinking, so I'm probably rambling... but hopefully someone else can contribute and I'll circle back.

She wants attention is what I think. Maybe I should talk to her for a little bit, make it fun exciting but really short. I live pretty far away and I know it'd be game over if we lived in the same town. I think she wants to "keep me in her orbit." But I know I gotta back away a little. I've been too easy with her. Maybe it wasnt ASD, it was just her seeing other dudes and being busy.