Okay, I am going to make this post as detailed as possible for people to critique on my actions, thoughts, perspective etc. And most importantly give me advice. All opinions will be taken seriously, as I am very appreciate on the community, as it has literally changed my life and my perspective of everything.

I had been in a relationship for over 4 years with a girl, although it ended a couple of months ago only because of simple non dramatic reasons.

First of all I will explain the girl, shes caring, sweet, good girl type, loyal, and doesnt enjoy drinking etc. I knew that she was relationship material due to these factors, and the fact she comes from a stable background and has a good relationship with her dad.

We shared 4 amazing years together, as I was her first for everything, love/sex etc! And, I was also her best friend, whom she spoke to every night. She almost never shit tested me, annoyed me etc!

The reason we ended was because of my background, I have a very cultured background where girlfriends etc should not be brought to the house etc. Im 20 years old though, and however my parents know about me and girls, but they simply tolerate it, as long as i dont flaunt it around my younger sister, as I have to be a good example to her. My ex girlfriend loved me, and everything we did, however it really upset her that we had been together for so long, as she had still never properly met my parents or my family. This is completely understandable, and I can only think highly of her since she was with me for 4 years, and tolerated not meeting my parents. It just proves how much she cared and loved me I suppose. Understandably, we broke things off then on good terms, which was hard for both of us.

Its been 2 months now, and of course it has been hard for me although i have marched through the pain, and learnt to accept the fact that Im going to get better We both stay in Birmingham, in a small part of town therefore its very easy to bump into each other. I have seen her a few times, but I chose to leave her and refrain from any contact from her as i know that its best.

Now, she called me completely out of nowhere yesterday afternoon.

We spoke for a bit on the phone, but she of course had a differant agenda, and wanted to meet with me later that same night. Of course I knew she missed me, however I wasnt 100% sure if she wanted to start things again or whatever. So i agreed to meet with her at a cafe. Things were good, we spoke about what we had been up to etc. She knows that i have been with other girls, and says its hard to think about but she accepts it since we wernt together. And she admitted she kissed a random guy, but in all honestly it didnt bother me when she told me. Im not sure why it didnt bother me, maybe i have a good core inner game etc. But in all honestly, im a very calm, non needy guy anyways. Even when we broke up, I didnt get jealous or no bad thoughts ever ran through my mind about her. I simply missed her company, and only did have good memories and good thoughts about her, never bad.

So she basically implied that she would like to start things again, and that she missed me alot. I was happy about this because i know that shes a good girl, and she isnt manipulative so it wouldnt be misleading on what she wanted. We agreed to go out for dinner, and the movies tomorrow, however i told her i want to take things slowly and not rush into anything. Its slightly frustrating though, since i was beginning to get over her, and it seems as if the hard work was done for nothing now.

I just need to think with both my head and my heart on this one i feel, and other peoples opinions would help alot! How would i go about leading the frame, etc?

Again, all peoples opinions will be taken with great consideration and i thank you for reading the post!

When you meet her tomorrow, take it easy and just have a lot of fun. Lead her in the sense of showing her a great time with you. It's also time to find out if you still dig each other. Past memories can sometimes blur your feelings, who knows you might find you've "grown" out of her already. Unlikely after only 2 months apart, but who knows...

Don't bring up any serious relationship talk until AFTER you made out. IF she tries to bring it up, nicely stop her and lead the convo into a different direction. Or just tell her to wait with that topic.

Don't feel bad about going back just because you started to get over her. If she was manipulative or crazy, obviously this would be different. You should rather be encouraged by it.
Why? You proved to yourself you are able to move on without her, which is not easy if she's been such a great girlfriend. You had success with other girls afterwards and if you search long enough, you find someone descent to "replace" her with. You know you are going to be fine, with or without her. This should make you more outcome-independent and more relaxed about the whole thing. Either way, you can only win bro.

Do talk to her when the time is right (after sex is great;) and let her know she will have to accept she might not be able to meet your parents anytime soon. Don't lead her on, she seems like she deserves to be treated right... By the way, can't you arrange a meeting with your parents without your sister knowing about you and her?

Im gonna go with the attitude as if I have just met her for the first time, like a date and just enjoy myself. Exactly like you said. She did ask yesterday what i meant by "taking things slow", i just replied that I wouldnt getting with any girls any time soon again, but that i dont want to rush into things.

I dont intend on bringing relationship talk up at all. Even when we first met i never brought it up, so i will let it have its natural course, but only after spending more time with her and when she is in a sense of euphoria, or emotional high.

If she had hurt/disrespected me etc in any sort of way i wouldnt want to see her however, shes a great girl and only ever means well.

We never broke up on bad terms, and i did my best to move on as i started to feel happy again. Although you are right, it is like a win/win situation but it still feels as though I went through that pain for no reason now. And, i dont want her to think that she can just walk into my life again that easily, which is why i said take things slow.

Im muslim so its difficult although, i told my dad that i had a relationship for 4 years after we broke up, he didnt even flinch and didnt seem bothered at all! I could tell them, although i simply dont feel comfortable. Maybe i just need to grow a set and do it! But as far as her meeting my parents, i dont think that could happen just because its not accepted in my culture.

Whats your take on it bro?

and any other advice?

IMHO, this is a bad idea.

You said that you were STARTING to get over her and now maybe all that is for not. It's highly likely she is NOT over you.

This means that you're not starting a new relationship with her, but resurrecting your old one. This means it's likely that the same problems will exist. 2 months is not enough time to fully get over a 4 year relationship and be able to engage in a new one that leverages everything you learn from the end of a serious relationship.

My advise to you is to tell her this, and refrain from going. Help each other get over the relationship. Trust me on this, over a year solid of trying to save a marriage by doing exactly what you are doing has taught me that the best way to create a new and better relationship is to completely get over the last one. At that point, you then can have a new relationship that is better than the last one you had.

If she is as perfect for you as you have described in your message. Why have you not asked her to marry you in a 4 year relationship?

Well I met her yesterday, and things were expectedly good. We just did something simple, dinner and movies. I went in with the attitude that it was like a first date, and she complied, as acted similarly, but with obvious signs of interest.

Now heres the thing, at the end of the night, I caught her at her emotional high, after she had a great time etc. And it wasnt even me that had to bring up the relationship, she did it herself, and I played it cool but told her that I still care about her.

She then broke down in tears, saying that she never wanted to lose me at all. I still played it simple and cool, but still reassured her everything will be fine.

In conclusion of the night, it was exactly how i expected it to turn out, and exactly how I expect her to be, because she really is a caring, and a good girl with no surprises at all, and i do care deeply about her.

In your reply:

I understand exactly what you mean that the problem was my background. This is what bothers me the most, is if she decides to bring that up again in the future. I can reassure her and tell her my parents know, although it doesnt change the logistics of her not being able to come to my house at night when both my parents, and younger sister are home. I told her that last night, and she said she understands. I can only hope that she is willing to comply with the circumstances, and realised during the 2 month break that her feelings for me are stronger than what she feels about my parents.

In your marriage was there children involved? cause that might have been one of the roots to why yous decided to try again, not because yous missed/cared/loved each other etc.

"why havnt i married her already"

For a start, im 20 years old, shes also 20. Secondly, i simply do not want to get married at a young age. Lastly, although 4 years is long, its still not long enough.

Well done man!

vhou812 is usually giving very solid advice and it's definitely a point of view to consider, tho with this situation I think a bit different.

If I see this correctly, the reason why you broke up is because of the fact she never got to see your parents.
So she was the one having a problem with an aspect of the relationship. Well things like that happen and it can't always be clear skies right?

You never saw a red flag with the girl, yet she probably saw it as a red flag not to be able to meet your parents. So if she now came to conclusion she's willing to pay that price to be with you, I think that's fair enough. Of course it's not guaranteed it won't bother her much again and everything will work out fine, but nothing is for certain anyway.

My point is: As long as YOU didn't have any major issue with her, it's worth trying it again.

To me it is still good you had the experience of "losing" her and it showed you in the end you were fine without her and life goes on. That's a big experience to make in my opinion, especially with an awesome girl like her...

Its definetly something i am thinking about, because cause its understandable that it bothered her that she cannot meet my parents, but I simply cannot change the circumstances. However, she has obviously had enough time (2 months) to mull things over and think that the relationship is with me, not my parents. Atleast this is what I am hoping anyways, since I do want get together again in all honesty.

Your right, i did not have one single red flag with her, shes great! Although the 2 months separate we had taught me some valuable lessons and taught me that I would be fine with or without her. Its all in my head, and I cannot thank the community enough for what it has taught me regarding relationships!

Where I stand with her now is very clear, we are speaking regularly, and she gives the impression she wants to see me more regularly aswell.

I am controlling where things are going at the moment, with regards to how much I'm speaking to her and seeing her. However, see when we were in the relationship 2 months ago, our general conversation was personal jokes, mimics, etc. Now it is flirtatious, teasing, and kind of first date conversation, with a lot of game involved in my part. Now I know that relationship game is completely differant to pick ups. But should i continue with what im doing in regards to gaming her with negs/pushpull/ qualify etc etc? Because I have the impression that the relationship is at its short lived honeymoon stage again. What can I do to make the most of this stage, and possibly extend her attraction for me? Just natural game etc?