Cut a long story short..

* Met a girl who worked at a bar last year.
* Got her number, spoke to her and she seemed quite keen. Mentioned about me 'being goodlooking'.
* We texted for a bit. I mentioned she should come and fan me and feed me grapes as it was hot at the time
* She replied 'whats in it for me??'. I replied 'I am too sober to tell you right now '.
* I never heard back from her, so left it.
* Went into the bar on the weekend and saw her again. She remembered me and said hi.
* I wanted to test the water (I know many of you wont like this) but texted her next day saying I had lost something at the club just to start it off and see if she was interested in texting back. I didnt want to show 'interest' immediately for a 2nd time..

Here is the convo.

me: Hi X, I lost keys at the bar, did anything get handed in?
her: Nothing at all was handed in or found last night! No sorry! I will be in on Monday perhaps the cleaner may find them as hes in today! X

2 days later

her: A pair of keys found! Two keys! a photo keyring attatched to it of a guy and a girl!. Yours?
me: No .. But if the picture of the girl is nice, I will keep the keyring?.. lol
her: Haaa! I have to ask! how did you get my number Mr Lostkeys! X
me: How? When you are as sexy and as clever as me, anything is possible, miss hostess
her: You think so.. Cheeky I like it!
me: Could you keep up with my cheekiness?
her: Could you keep up with me! that is the question???? X
me:There is only one way to find out..
her: Ohhhh and how do you suggest I do that....
me: If you think you can handle the banter... then let's try a drink.

.. havent heard back.

Now in turns of 'forget her, game on' - yep, no problem. But I want to know if there is anything to learn from this. Was I reading into it wrong?.. is she playing a game?.. It is the 2nd time she flaked but yet was keen to chat on text.. I dont know.. thoughts?

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here to learn.. thats all.

How'd you get her number, anyway?

She doesn't recall giving it to you? Two days later it sounds like she doesn't remember the first round of texts maybe... Sounds like you didn't make yourself memorable or draw a clear connection between your "in person" self and your virtual self. No hook.

Course others may have different opinions, but that's mine.

Well thats what I can't figure out i.e. her memory?!...

She gave me her number last year.. we texted.. she flaked.. that was it. So I have her number from then.
I didnt answer her question and she liked my response. Funny thing is, she remembered me when I walked in (surprising given the amount of people walking through the door) yet doesnt remember the texts?!...

I thought the texts were going well.. I was trying to be short with them, tease, be a bit cocky.. not desperate,, have no idea..

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here to learn.. thats all.

She didn't remember you, and was enjoying the texts, started to get a bit fun and then you jump the gun for a meet. You escalated too quickly, she wasn't going to meet some random guy in her phone after 3-4 texts.

Could of carried on the fun conversation, left her wanting more, then maybe hit her up the next day telling her how much fun you're having at/doing xxxxxx, leaving everyone for dust, worthy opponent needed!!

The thing about sending a text like that is your not asking her to reply, you invest very little and if she doesn't reply you lose no value from it, in fact you still gain value for being fun and outgoing

That's what I suggest for you're next text.

Get some rapport before you outright invite her out with you next time

hope this helps

interesting scenario.. have maybe had this before but this is the first girl to ever say it..
Got a reply back today (2 days later).. reads:

her: I Can handle it... although the whole drink thing.... always being asked out for drinks... Come Mr up your game....


LOL! .. thoughts?

_________________
here to learn.. thats all.

first off, your texting needs some work . I lost interest in reading the rest after you said "I'm to sober to tell you now". I also don't really like the lost keys thing b/c it's a lie. I also don't like the line "when you are sexy and clever as me anything is possible" just say , you gave it to me.

also it's usually a no-no in that situation to offer to have a drink. That line bores the living fuck out of women. For one, it demonstrates you don't feel comfortable talking to women unless alcohol is involved. for 2, it looks like your in it for sex. Big no-no.

In closing it sounds like she's giving out her number for business. Those people get a cut of tips, if she's not making tips and even if she's not directly making money off your tips (which she may hope to be) then they are probably throwing tips in a pool and dividing it equally among the bartenders and hostesses. So her texting a bunch of guys she meets there is good for business and her bottom line. I don't think she likes you.

You're asking a bar tender for drinks and telling her you can only tell her something while drunk? That's her job. You're asking her to do her job on her days off. Not to mention it's cliche. Even telling her she should feed you grapes. Serving people is her job. If anything she will turn off her phone, kick her feet up and relax. You would have been better off saying the opposite.

"You must hate getting hit on by drunks. Since you worked all night we should just do something relaxing. How about you sit there and get drunk while I serve YOU drinks. I'll fan you and feed you grapes. You can tell me all your problems."

It's afc but at least you would stand out from the rest of the "can I buy you a drink" chumps. Tell a few jokes, make it seem funny and she might even take you up on the offer. Sometimes it's better to be fun. Scratch that, it's always better to be fun. If you are fun/funny you can say what ever you want. But being that same old guy that says the same old shit gets boring. You gave her a glimmer of hope then brought it back to the alcohol. She let it go and you brought it back to it again. Then she straight up told you drinks is boring.

It's actually likely she did like you or was somewhat interested until you reminded her of her work. It's all about how she feels.

You could even text her back. "How stupid of me to ask a bar tender out for drinks" then the lines from earlier. Maybe change "since you worked all day" to "since you PROBABLY worked all day" so she doesn't think you are a stalker.

I'm not fully endorcing these suggestions just showing you how sometimes the answer is right in front of your face, you just have to take the time to enter her reality and see where she is coming from.