Hi all,

I'm a total n00b (familiar with some books and videos), wondering about how to go about determining whether a woman you strike conversation with in a daytime scenario (supermarket, library, store, mall, etc) has a boyfriend or not. What are the best ways to find out, without too much effort and without embarrassing yourself or failing hard?

I'd imagine that if you are both blatantly attracted to each other and enjoying each other's conversation/company (ie comfortable chatting and getting to know each other - especially if you put some personal value statements out there and she shows curiosity or desire for details), then there's a good chance that she's available?

I was also thinking that since significant conversation with strangers is so uncommon in public (especially where there are more people around) that when you finally do so (when two people take interest in each other, spontaneously, and conversation lasts at least a few minutes), it's pretty obvious why - ie because of attraction, curiosity over potential further acquaintance, potential dating, etc... Are there cases when this isn't true?

I had the thought that women who are in relationships would more likely not entertain the conversation, and would keep things short and maybe shut down / ignore when you show attraction/interest in them. Definitely not reciprocate flirting or a sense of attraction/interest. But what if you're not sure? What if they're naturally the very energetic types who are like that to everybody?

Are there other ways, ie common strategies for asking indirectly? (maybe just to make sure) Or other subtle indicators?

Is there generally a way to tell the difference between a woman just being enthusiastic/energized about a conversation (such as topic related) and her being attracted to you, specifically? Or is that attraction something you establish/influence somehow, based on discussing the topics that excite her the most?

I was also thinking that in more deliberate environments, like an event, party, potluck, etc (where people are more likely to know at least some of each other) - it's more acceptable to strike random conversation and show interest in random people, even if either/both of you are not single. So it's not exactly the same significance of interest as it is in a random public setting. So what then?

Or maybe does it largely just not matter, as long as you show attraction/romantic interest in her, and she shows romantic/sexual/etc interest in you back? Are the odds less that if the conversation/interaction goes a certain way that she'd be unavailable?

I don't have any field experience yet, but was definitely wanting to at least have some strategy beforehand. I'm worried that not knowing either way would chance that I would close on getting contact information only to be met with an abrupt halt and an awkward moment. I'd rather find indicators of her availability so I can just skip over asking for anything at all, or at least so I can be prepared for bouncing back gracefully (ie not a shock to me).

All depends on your moral stance. If you wouldn't bang a girl with a boyfriend then I guess it's important to know. I'm afraid I'm not that noble, so I don't care either way.