Just take the advice you've been given, seriously.

In my experience of a long distance relationship, my girl grew distant and I went through the same emotions and frustrations of you. I distanced myself and stopped talking to her, eventually she came back to me real strong and almost insanely clingy.

I learned she met someone she was interested in who was local, it didn't go anywhere or she was knocked back and then she went back to me and we broke up for good not long after.

She still messages me frequently and seems interested in me again even now after I've dated two girls since her.

You're needy and just looking for attention from her.
You're DESPERATE for attention. You don't care about yourself and no book is gonna fix that. You want to fix your oneitis to get this girl. See how needy that sounds? It's not going to work and she's gone dude.

Spot on! Skinny you will never learn if you don't take a step back from this now. You HAVE to work on your mindset. The following advice WILL get her attraction back, but I'm almost certain you won't have the balls to do it:

Write her an email ( I say this because you will fail trying to do this over phone or SPAM). Tell her you are not sure about this relationship anymore and want a time-out. You can tell her you love her, but you can feel the 2 of you are drifting apart and you are not sure if you are meant to be. Tell her you will meet up when you are back home in 2 months.

If you are lucky, this will already make her panic because for the first time she'll experience the feeling of losing you (and not the other way around). It will also teach her better behavior, because now she knows that she can't be a heartless monster around you anymore.

You don't want to play games and that is very honorable. See, with this email you are not playing games at all, but you are sub-communicating that you are gone if she doesn't treat you right.

Second, this will be the last email/contact/sign from you for at least 1 week. That's 7 days straight without any slip up. Trust me if you drop from the face of the world, she'll go crazy about you within this week. And that's what you want. But you can't have this without playing the game.

So either change the way you look at things OR try to play the game. Both is too much at once... If I was in your shoes, I'd write her the email but don't play with her and still reply to her stuff if it's reasonable. Try hard to limit contact and learn to find yourself. Focus on your work and get a hobby. Divert your energy into something that actually gives you satisfaction in return.

Within this week of silence from your side, you have to reflect on your mindset. You are being VERY selfish by saying you want her to be this again and that and tell you she loves you again.. You have to start from scratch and I am sure people here are more than willing to help and can send you good info about getting a right mindset and learn to be happy about yourself first, with or without ANY woman.

I just came to realize that I'm actually dreaming... I know that you won't be MAN enough to let go of her and write her that email.

Long distance relationships rarely work- the lack of intimacy/sex seriously kills the attraction- at least for the girl, since they are MUCH harder to please in relationships than guys. Guys are satisfied with simply having a girl (if she is cute) and regular sex- women on the other hand are much more complex. They need the guy to be fucking perfect in order to remain attracted to him.

In my honest opinion, if a girl is not that 'into you' from the beginning (usually after sex), she will NEVER be. The sex is the 'glue' for the relationship and if sex isn't enough to strengthen the bond (for her), no amount of distancing, punishment or game playing will make a difference- it only works if she was really 'into you' from the beginning and the 'spark' was there (for her). If I feel a girl is not into me as much as I am into her (after sex), I will break up with her and save myself a lot of potential pain and headaches.

There are plenty of women out there who we are sexually compatible with- as ultimately that is what creates satisfying relationships, but it's ALWAYS best to give them the 'best sexual pleasure' they have ever experienced- it really helps amp up their attraction. Just remember this for the future. The first sexual experience should be mindblowing for her- if it is not as good as the other guys she's fucked, she will not feel as 'in love' with you as the other guys and will start thinking about sex with the other guys if she is not getting the same satisfaction from you. That's why it is imperative that you become a sexual demon with women if you want to attract them and keep them attracted.

Hey Guys,

Thanks for all the advice and the support. I know RIGHT NOW I look beta, and I dont have to prove anything, but trust me I do have good game and I have dated some 9's and even hooked up/dated a girl in Entourage.

This is what I will do, for the next 3 days, I will be distant, reply to her when she messaged me. ( I was distant today, and all of a sudden she is starting to talk to me call me baby). I am replying to her shortly and not asking any questions.

If it doesnt work and we both get distant again and she dosnt react. I will send her this:

as, you know, things with me are like not so good with her, i wanted your advice on if i message her.

Hey,

First of all, dont doubt that I love you, because we both know that I do.

Lately i feel like we have distanced from each other, and thats okay.

I dont want to ever play games with you, having to think whether or not I should talk to you more or less, because before I just use to pick up the phone and message you without thinking and your replies would reciprocate mine.

I think it would be good for us if we take a week a part from each other, that could let us see things much more clearly.

Love,

my name


What do you think

Dude, you are seriously NOT getting this. DO NOT give her ANY indication that you 'love her' whatsoever. STOP SAYING THIS. SERIOUSLY. STOP IT!!! You should STOP contacting her COMPLETELY and IGNORE her if she contacts you. DO NOT contact her AT ALL!!! Ignore all her texts/emails. A week is definitely NOT long enough for her to become attracted again. You should aim to cut ALL CONTACT until you are able to see each other again.

If she asks why you are not replying to her texts/emails etc, IGNORE her- DO NOT reply to her whatsoever. You need to make her think she is DEAD to you- you NEED to PUNISH her- I am serious!! If you begin to miss her, it is because you are emotionally needy and you NEED to get over her emotionally. Let it go. This is clearly not the girl you want to become emotionally 'needy' with- it is obvious it turns her off. So YOU NEED to turn YOUR EMOTIONS OFF as well.

Only contact her when you know she is coming back and you can both meet up. After you two meet up, bang the shit out of her (make sure she orgasms multiple times), then remain ALOOF from her- do not become emotionally needy and DO NOT say 'I love you'. Let HER be the one to initiate the 'love' in the relationship- let her say 'I love you'. I have already made it abundantly clear that it is HER JOB to be emotional NOT YOURS- turn your emotions off COMPLETELY. I know it is difficult if you are emotionally 'needy', but you seriously need to stop. It turns women off big time, especially if they did not FEEL any emotional connection with you to begin with.

I already told you how to show your love to her- DO NOT say 'I love you' and do not become emotionally 'needy'; actions speak MUCH louder than words- fucking her brains out AND getting her to cuddle YOU afterwards, hugging/kissing her ONLY when she needs it etc. Your emotional 'neediness' will be satisfied when she cuddles into you- you will be getting the 'oxytocin' release (which is what you are craving) after sex/cuddling, but DO NOT cuddle into her- ALWAYS let HER come to YOU. Ask HER to lie on YOUR chest when you both want to bond AFTER sex. This makes her feel feminine, protected and makes her see you as MASCULINE. I should finally point out that you should ONLY say 'I love you' AFTER SHE has said it to YOU, NEVER before. This is HER showing that she is 'nurturing' YOU and your potential offspring.

One more tip: if she says 'I love you' , get her to PROVE it by doing you sexual favours (blowjob). If she refuses, tell her 'actions speak louder than words' and continue to distance yourself from her until she complies. After she has complied, then you can tell her 'you love her' back because she PROVED her love to you. You need to literally train women like you would train a dog (not as extreme) for them to comply to your emotional/sexual needs.

I am serious. Keep 'I love you' as a verbal reward when she DOES stuff for you, like cooks you food/gives you blowjobs etc. Non-verbal rewards should be sexual/affectionate- allowing her to cuddle you when she wants one (or asking her for one, but not cuddling into HER) and giving her oral sex, whilst she is doing the dishes (I have done this before and she loved it). In short, your 'love' in the relationship should ONLY be as a reward, not the default and especially if she does NOT deserve it.

Do yourself a favour and THOROUGHLY read the lengthy post I made, let the advice SINK IN and start IMPLEMENTING all the steps in this/future relationships.

Good luck man!

Hey,

We finally SPAM and she asked to SPAM, and she asked me whats wrong.

I said nothing but she insisted that I say it,

So i started talking to her and I said,

i mean lately we have been distant, and i have been distant because you have been distant. I realized that you may have been scared after saying certain things, and thats fine, so i know i had to give you space. I was like, at the beginning of us you use to say the best things and even message me audio notes everyday and i loved it so much, and now you seemed to have backed off.
then she was like, well, at the beginning i felt like i had to capture you, and get you to fall in love with me. Maybe i realize now that i have to keep you in love with me and continue it.
and i spoke a bit more about it and stuff, more than i should off, and i said well, im happy we spoke about it and i love us and she said she loves me too

she said that she doenst think anything is wrong with us and she presumes we both know we love each other a lot.

Maybe this whole time i have been over reacting but thats what i mean, before she use to say things that made me feel so in love with her and now its nothing. Do you think its just an excuse of hers or I am over reacting. I mean I want her to feel like she needs to keep proving her self to me, i don t know. I guess distance is hard.

*Face Palm*

You have FUCKED UP BIG TIME!! here. Trust me!! and she probably has EVEN LESS "attraction" AND "respect" for you now- she KNOWS she has YOU under HER thumb right now.

You are NOT listening to my advice. Do not LISTEN to what GIRLS SAY- judge them ONLY by THEIR ACTIONS, nothing else!! They SAY they "love us" all the fucking time. Try to understand that IT IS A FUCKING TEST to see how MAN we are!! It DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING!! and should NEVER be TAKEN as TRUTH, although APPRECIATED (ONLY if genuine- and you WILL know when it is). GIRLS are EMOTIONAL CREATURES and LIVE IN THE MOMENT- they SAY what THEY FEEL in the moment. One day they SAY they "love us", then a week later they are off BANGING some ASSHOLE, telling us they still "love us" and it was just "sex"- PSSH YEAH FUCKING RIGHT!....They never "loved us" to begin with and NEVER fucking will. STOP believing this fucking BULLSHIT, seriously!! Try to understand when a woman TELLS US she "loves us", she REALLY means that she "likes us at the moment". Women are INDIRECT and ILLOGICAL as fuck and you NEED to learn to understand THEIR "language" to AVOID constant fucking headaches and heartbreak.

This is her way of trying to get back HER POWER in the relationship again- to "pussy whip" you. DO NOT LET HER!!! YES IT IS JUST AN EXCUSE!! DON'T LISTEN TO HER. She is trying to MANIPULATE you with her affections. If she was HONEST and REALLY "loved you", she wouldn't have been playing games in the beginning and distancing herself from you. Next time SHE makes contact with YOU (AND LET HER DO IT)- DO NOT contact her yourself, seriously!!!. PLEASE FOR GOD SAKE DO THE FOLLOWING:

1. Tell her you don't BELIEVE she loves you because of the way she has been in the past with you. That she WILL NEED to MAKE IT UP TO YOU and prove HER love to YOU.
2. Tell her that you need time to think about the relationship.
3. Tell her "goodbye", hang up and DO NOT CONTACT HER UNTIL YOU TWO MEET UP AGAIN EVER. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF SHE CONTACTS YOU AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU- FUCKING IGNORE HER!!!
4, After you two get "back together", tell her "you are willing to give the relationship another shot" BUT that "SHE NEEDS to PROVE her love to YOU in the future- ACTIONS speak LOUDER than words"- I guarantee you will have her kissing your cock/feet after this and BEGGING you for forgiveness.

Seriously, man, I know I'm being harsh, but you have got A LOT to LEARN about women and NEED to grow a pair of fucking BALLS and KEEP THEM otherwise they will EAT THEM UP and spit them fucking out EVERY TIME they get the chance!! DO NOT allow them to "pussy whip" you. BE THE FUCKING MAN AND STAY HIM!!!
Now if you DO NOT follow my advice this time, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANYMORE!! You're just wasting my fucking time. MAN THE FUCK UP OR GTFO!!

haha breezy is a bit harsh here, but definitely right. we've all been there, bro. you might just need to get burned once to learn your lesson.

Breezy,

Your advice is great stuff, but you aren't making the realization that this is A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP. This advice you gave:

I already told you how to show your love to her- DO NOT say 'I love you' and do not become emotionally 'needy'; actions speak MUCH louder than words- fucking her brains out AND getting her to cuddle YOU afterwards, hugging/kissing her ONLY when she needs it etc. Your emotional 'neediness' will be satisfied when she cuddles into you- you will be getting the 'oxytocin' release (which is what you are craving) after sex/cuddling, but DO NOT cuddle into her- ALWAYS let HER come to YOU. Ask HER to lie on YOUR chest when you both want to bond AFTER sex. This makes her feel feminine, protected and makes her see you as MASCULINE. I should finally point out that you should ONLY say 'I love you' AFTER SHE has said it to YOU, NEVER before. This is HER showing that she is 'nurturing' YOU and your potential offspring.

One more tip: if she says 'I love you' , get her to PROVE it by doing you sexual favours (blowjob). If she refuses, tell her 'actions speak louder than words' and continue to distance yourself from her until she complies. After she has complied, then you can tell her 'you love her' back because she PROVED her love to you. You need to literally train women like you would train a dog (not as extreme) for them to comply to your emotional/sexual needs.

I am serious. Keep 'I love you' as a verbal reward when she DOES stuff for you, like cooks you food/gives you blowjobs etc. Non-verbal rewards should be sexual/affectionate- allowing her to cuddle you when she wants one (or asking her for one, but not cuddling into HER) and giving her oral sex, whilst she is doing the dishes (I have done this before and she loved it). In short, your 'love' in the relationship should ONLY be as a reward, not the default and especially if she does NOT deserve it.


How can any of this apply to my situation. The only thing I have with her are words, words, words, and effort. The amount we communicate is what keeps the relationship alive.

I know the advice you give is --- Back off, leave her, fuck other girls. A part of me wants to do that, but a part of me wants to be in this relationship so I can then still manage to fuck her when I get back and be with her.

I dont understand, she told me on SPAM she loves me and i think she obviously cares, isnt this right
?

Long distance relationships WITHOUT intimacy will VERY RARELY last- the sex/intimacy is the GLUE in the relationship, like I said. I have no idea how my advice would apply to your situation, since I have NEVER been in a long distance relationship. The only advice I could give is to keep the contact to an absolute minimum to keep her wanting more and don't say 'I love you' or 'I miss you' etc (emotional neediness is HER job). If you feel absolutely no contact would ruin the relationship, then just keep contact to a very minimum and let HER initiate all of the contact until you two hook up again. You still have to PUNISH HER from distancing herself from you, by remaining distant as possible to make her WANT YOU even more. If she asks you "why you have stopped contacting her first", tell her "you feel she owes you the love and respect you need and deserve" and that games, manipulation and emotional distancing will NOT be tolerated by you if the relationship is to last. This should turn the tables on her and make her love ("like at the time"), respect and become attracted to you even more.

If you two are being separated for long periods of time (like in months) continuously, then it is probably best to keep it less serious- keep communication light, flirty and playful. DONT SAY 'I love you' or 'I miss you'- let her be the one to open up emotionally (it is HER job anyway)- you should remain at an emotional distance, since you may end up getting hurt because she MAY find some guy over where she lives and hook up with him then DUMP YOU if you become too attached. To me this relationship sounds like a lost cause- I'd never put myself in this complicated situation.

When exactly do you two planning in getting back together?

Bro, I went through the same thing with an LD relationship. Please dear God, follow the advice you are given here. If you make it seem like the relationship is dead, if she really loves you, she will want to make it alive again. The most attractive thing you can do right now is show her that you can live, be happy, and have plenty of other chicks without her. Right now you are conveying the opposite message.

I found in a long distance relationship, having sex with other women helps a lot. But then me and my girl agreed that we weren't going to be intense or exclusive (though she started to get that way.)

Any girl who is so insecure to insist that we remain exclusive in a long-distance relationship should be nexted IMMEDIATELY, preferably dumped. Fuck that shit!! I have 99 needs and a "bitch" ain't one, but a B.J is.

That is fucking game!! When a girl chases you, even though you're not putting your dick in her.