Went over to HB's place. Froze her out for 3 weeks and she messages me , then I invite myself over to catch up. Probably spent far too long talking (we at this point are really good friends, my fault) but I did push myself to kino: when asking questions or exclaiming I often touched her leg or arm (she was sitting on the bed with me). At one point we ran out of things to talk about and I said "you know what, fuck it" and leant over and kissed her. Closing still makes me nervous as fuck, even though she was a bit chubby. We were making out until I pulled away and then it got very awkward for her. Apparently she had no idea that was coming and was at a loss for words. I felt lost for a bit and tried to take the lights off but she preferred i didn't. So I went back to her and used the age-old "listen i'm gonna count to 5...." Got back in there making out, started squeezing her arms and then when I moved to her tits she pulled away and said she needs to think about it.

Based on what she indicated prior I believe she wants a relationship - perhaps not with me - but she does not look like the type of girl to do a 1 night stand. So I made sure to tell her that I'm not looking for anything serious and she was ok with that.

Bit of a shit report but going to do more daygame saturday because nightgame has yielded 0 leads for me.

Met up with a lad to do some daygame. It was a refreshing change to sarge the busy streets of Manchester.

In total I opened 7 girls but I did not close any. My objective was to try to keep the interaction going. The first girl I approached was the most attractive to me. I did not have a problem stopping her (as I later did) and she was very friendly. A tall blonde Lithuanian chick with shades in the winter. After a few minutes she mentioned she was going to india, where should would be getting married. I have her a hug and told her congratulations, then left.

The rest of my approaches did not go so smoothly, three of them kept walking so I did not bother to pursue. The other 2 said they have a boyfriend within 2 minutes. The last girl I approached for the day looked at me like I was a celebrity. Alas after about 5minutes she told me she's flattered but she has a boyfriend.

In addition I thought that location was somewhat important because we walked near the train station. I soon realised it was not an ideal place to sarge since everyone was either rushing to get a train or tired from a long trip. But my wing said you'll never know, which I feel is equally important. So I learned something about situational awareness. I thought I would be nervous about running after a girl and then stopping her to speak but I found it to be rather enjoyable.

All in all I'm excited at the prospect of being able to confidently go out, speak to women and have fun with it even if I don't land tons of numbers or instant dates. It all goes up from here.

Went on my first proper day 2 with a chinese phd babe. Went to this coffee shop out in the city, as I thought it would be a good first day 2 idea. I arrive at the shop early and I sit down with my drink next to this HB French chick. I open her and we get to talking. I open her with "it's fuckin freezing outside...what's wrong with this place?" She laughs and asks where I'm from. We start talking about university, women and men..but then I find out she's actually going back to France in a couple hours. We keep talking until my chick arrives and she sits down across from me. She's keen to meet the girl I had been talking to. At this point french chick leaves and I tell her goodbye.

The date went very smoothly. Tons of cocky funny and this girl is in love with me. Many times she qualifies herself and keeps complimenting me. She is very open about looking at porn and reading sexual books like 50 shades of grey. However I started to get a bit nervous - as a result in trying to show that I am a man of high standard I may have looked like a judgemental douche. After this she loses interest abit and although she initially agrees to show me her place, she changes her mind when we get in front her building and makes the excuse "my room is really dirty so you can come another time." I leave her.

I get home and msg her saying I've had a good day and I'm curious to what she was hiding from me in her room. It gets sexual:

me: maybe you were needed to hide your limited edition copy of 50 shades of grey
her: haha yeh i wish i can get some toys decribed in the book
me: ur sexual but shy at the same time. i like that
her: thank you ill take that as a compliment
me: you don't need toys though...leave that for girls. you need a man
her:haha i know
me: it's a shame u didnt clean your room..who knows when some young attractive man wants to come up and fullfiill your fantasies
her:thank you for being considerate but im not ready to be in that situation yet. you're super hot but i'd like to be ur friend so we don't have to face that awkward situation after having meaningless sex.
me: i want both...the sex is not meaningless. besides what makes you think it would be awkward? we were already talking about sex and it felt so natural
her:thats because we're talking about it asw friends. but the most important thing perhaps is i like you as a friend and dont want to lose you if that fun thing doesnt go well between us.

So basically she has implied friends with benefits, but scared to do it? This one is tricky.

Update on PHd Asian Babe:

She messaged back saying she knows what she wants in life at this point and she's looking for a commitment, kids and family. I think it's all bullshit and I may have fucked it up by taking too long in the coffee shop and consequently getting friendzoned. She has used the word NICE and FRIEND several time in our text conversation.

At the end of the day I'm happy my first day2 went so well that I almost got into a stranger's room and they were comfortable enough to start talking about sex.

Went clubbing: First Dancefloor Kclose - Basically did what skills360 has been braying to me forever

Last night I went clubbing and I succesfully opened two girls on the dancefloor and kclosed the third. I looked at my friend who had been making out with girl after girl and realised my mistake. After getting an IoI to join them he completely took control, he went into the set, twirled the girl into a position where he could either front or grind her from behind. I on the other hand tried to approach girls from in front and dance with them before actually getting that physical.

I saw this girl and I literally went up to her, grabbed on of her hand and twirled her, making sure to give her waist a little nudge in the correct direction. After that her hands were crossed her with her back on me. She seemed very startled but also having fun with it (she did not give me the generic FUCK OFF look or put her hand up and say NO, as all other girls had done before.) Soon enough her friend pulled her away, obviously jealous she was not having as much fun.

Girl number two..she was really fit. I saw her, repeated the above and she was proper grinding on me. I was literally just about to turn her around and go for the kiss but she suddenly left with her friend.

I left her and started towards the stairs. This short Bollywood looking princess is coming down. I smoothly slide towards her and and then do the twirl. I turn her around to face me and she is so amazed she can't help but look at me with eyes of wonder. "What's your name??" I answer her and she puts her arms around my neck. Even an AFC knows that is a colossal IOI. So I move closer to her face and she doesn't pull away, so I kiss her. We make out for about 5 minutes. There was so much tongue, I could have surely carried this girl home but I thought to myself tonight was about learning, and I had only just arrived at the club.

The rest of the night was less successful, I was in fact not feeling as enthusiastic because I was on the downward slope of a night of drinking. I felt tired and went home alone but happy.

A night of reflection after an especially rough rejection

Tonight I was feeling rather distressed over my entire situation with people, which I will relate to shortly. I decided to go over my goals that I orginilly set out. They were

-I want to be an alpha male.
-I want to be able to make new friends easily, and keep these friends.
-I want to stop being so weird.
-I want to turn my weird personality into a crazy, fun one.
-I want to eliminate my approach anxiety.
-I want to kclose and fclose effortlessly.
-I want to get a girlfriend.

Thus far I have been able to achieve 2 of these things. I do not fear rejection from strangers and I am often commended on my great social skills. As for being alpha, I have dedicated much time to participating in things I actually enjoy as well as improving my status, namely salsa and rowing. (expression+fitness)

However becoming truly alpha has eluded me. I have recognised the pattern of making close friends and then having conflicted feelings of whether to truly let them into my life. Therefore I decided to go for counselling. That 1 hour made my life so much clearer. I suddenly realised that my irrational fear of becoming close to others but at the same time longing for companionship, is connected to the way in which my parents neglected/abused me while i was growing up.

So now I have lots of resources to help with this problem, which I feel once solved will improve my frame so that I am confident and unwavering at all times.

However, in the meantime I feel the effects of my fear of rejection from those close to me. Tonight I went full on AFC, asked this girl if she saw me as anything more than a friend. Basically I did not see her as a sexual prospect at all before this (she was attractive). Her replies indicated she was interested in a relationship. Example texts:

-are you wanting something to happen?
-if you don't mind what happens then it seems a bit daft
-i was just saying if something was to happen we both have to actually want it....

She then invites me over indirectly. I made plans to come watch a movie because she was leaving the next day. However I soon got a text saying she had changed her mind and was going home. I go over. I am not confident and cocky/funny as usual. I am shaking and nervous, feeling anxious that she is leaving after she gave me hope for a relationship. I walk her to her car. I mumble something about not giving her a proper goodbye..and saying "fuck it" before going in for a kiss. She recoiled and put her hands up. She said "I had a feeling you were going to do that.. I don't know you well enough. Theres no need to rush (i've remained witty and confident with her for about 2 months; which even I am impressed with.) I obviously feel gutted after investing for so long, and then knowing after a month apart all my work would be lost. I spend the rest of the night feeling sorry for myself. But after some much needed reflection I have pulled myself out of it, and back on the road to self improvement.

I will not give up.

Tonight I decided to go out to sarge in bars by myself. I eventually found a wing from here but as always we just supported each other throughout the night instead of teaming up.

I go into the posher district in the city and hit my first bar. Not much goes on here, I open some guys and the girl who's boyfriend has gone outside for a smoke.

At the second bar things went alot better. We get in and I immediately spot a 9 and 10 sitting in these oddly placed barstools opposite each other. We shall refer to said set as The Hotties. It was in such a location that I knew they were just trying to get attention. So I go up to them and I say "look I thought you guys looked really interesting so I had to come say hi." It was a bit of a shaky start as they seemed to want to brush me off after a few seconds but I reeled them back in by asking their opinion of my accent. From there I did some cold reading and had the interest of the 10 blonde, but not the brunette. So I made it my mission to give her more attention. Which seemed to pay off. They asked me why I'm not drinking to which I replied "I only drink with people I like" and this got their attention. I left them and went to see what my wing was doing..I ended opening like 4 other sets in the bar. In between sets when I returned to the Hotties, the brunette was by herself.

After a minute or two of banter the blonde returns, whispers into the brunettes ear and she leaves for the toilet. I'm now sitting opposite the brunette and I escalate contact quickly to the point where my leg was in between hers and eventually rubbing her pussy. Our faces are very close and then her friend returns. She's just standing there so I go grab a bar stool for her to sit, but the bitch takes my seat. I leave for on to sarge again. I could not direct these interactions in a sexual manner and so they floundered pretty quickly.

Save for the one set where I went over, sat at the table - they looked at me like wtf - I said oh don't mind me this is just my favourite seat in the house. I don't want to hit on you *look away* ok now I feel like I have to. Name's bounty (Credit to Sasha) They get all excited and we all speak for like 20 minutes - but they're all old and not so hot and although I want to fuck a milf they had bf's whose existence I confirmed. I return to the The Hotties but the tension has staled. In reality I did not know what else to do beside pull her in and kiss her so I ended up telling her to give me her number so we could meet up again. She claims to not have her number (new phone) and gives me her fb and a kiss on the cheek.

With my history of abominable club night game tonight was great for me - having never sarged at a bar before it felt refreshing to actually speak to girls you want to fuck. I'm impressed with how easy it was for me to stay in set, but now that that's done I still have to get more comfortable with being a sexual beast. Stop wanking.

Good job man. you did great set on ur own without actually getting blown out which is great. Next time try and move things forward

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My 2013 journal: nik-afc-journal-vt134819.html

Yeah man I know. Just thought of focusing on the approaching aspect and staying in and creating comfort.

I completely forget this revolutionary moment I had tonight. Even before I went into the city I had started talking to this 7 at the bus stop. We talk for a bit and then I realise she's suddenly standing very close to me. Maybe I smell good. She's going to meet all her mates on the next bus so I hasten to get the close. As I mention the number, she reflexively responds she has a bf. I looked her dead in the eye and said "Good, because I don't want to be your boyfriend." She laughs and takes my number. Even so I finally knew what it felt like to have fun with it. It was also flattering as she saved it with her boyfriend looking on from the bus that was now stopped in front of us haha.