I have had a tough time building attraction with this one girl for five months.

I started talking to her about five months ago. I picked her up in a bar when I was back home for vacation. At the time I only had a week with here and we saw each other almost every day. Then I left to return home and we kept talking all summer every other day or so for extended periods of time.

She went on a mission trip mid summer and decided that she would get a promise ring. That did not go over to well and we stopped talking for a week or so but then started up again. We really hit it off on the phone again and she was really excited for me to get home as was I. Ever since I have been home it has been really stressful. I have really been struggling to build attraction with her. She is pretty open about her feelings and we have slept together but she still says she has a problem with attraction. I am not a bad looking guy. She has a lot of guilt I think with religion with the whole abstinence thing. That is one big issue that I am trying to work through with her.

I had two months here until I start work again for the winter and have to leave but I still have a month to go. I left for two weeks and was not able to talk on the phone or have much contact with her other than one email a day. She talks about following me to where I work and live out there this winter. While I was gone for the two weeks she wrote me letters to read when I got back so I didn't miss anything, she told me how much she missed me. She seems totally obsessed. But then I get home and she seems put off.

She wanted to go away and spend some time together, just the two of us. So right now we are on day one of our five day vacation together. Last night we cooked dinner and had a good time together but when we went to bed she did not want to fool around at all. I need some advice on what I should do to get the upper hand on this situation. What can I do start flicking attraction switches. I have been really stressed about this whole issue.

What's my next step?

Five months is a lot of time to invest in one girl...

Can you explain more about the situation regarding the promise ring? I'd like to know what happened. Did she ask for it, or did you randomly get it for her? What was her reaction? What all transpired with that entire event?

Also, what do you mean by "she has a problem with attraction"? Is it a problem specifically with her attraction toward you?

Act a little less interested, almost as if her games are growing old for you. Don't show her that you're upset or giving up in any way, but you almost want to friend zone her in a very subtle way. Start treating her like your sister who you happen to be out on a vacation with. Be a little more aloof. Be less touchy. She'll wonder what the fuck happened and this will raise her attraction toward you. And make sure you aren't paying for everything. That always sucks. Focus on having fun for YOU. The excitement you get from that will trickle down to her which is the best thing that can happen.

My guess is that eventually during this vacation, she'll want to do something sexual with you again. That's your time to pounce. Pull out all the stops and give her the best set of orgasms she's ever had in her entire life. Make her come at least twice before you even fuck her. Make it the most memorable fuck she's ever had in her life.

Do this, and at an absolute worst case scenario I think you can pull off a FWB agreement with her. Best case scenario is that you give her an incredibly memorable experience that keeps her begging for more.

This is more or less the advice I got from Ezo when I was in the same situation as yourself last year. It worked wonders for me. Good luck and have fun on your vacation.

Thanks for the reply.

I have invested about five months on her because we really hit it off at the beginning of the summer and then I had to leave to go work. We talked a lot while I was gone and there are not many women where I went so I was alright investing the time. Now that I am back we have been hanging out a lot, usually sleeping together with very little sexual stuff. Its very frustrating. I am almost thinking that I have to stop sleeping with her and just hang out with her around other people. I think that it would be easier to build attraction when other people are around instead of it just being her and I. It is pretty difficult for me to build attraction when it is just the two of us.

The promise ring is a religious thing that she got after she was "Inspired" by a young girl in Honduras when she went there for a mission trip who had never kissed a guy because of her religion. Basically she does not want to have sex until she is married. I had her brake that once already but I think that is part of the problem with her not being attracted to me. I think she is resisting because of her religion and it is really causing me a problem.

She is pretty honest and says that she is not attracted to me but she says she really wants to be because we work together so well other than that issue. I have her all about me with my lifestyle of adventure and travel but I need to somehow get her attracted. The only time she really wants to fuck around is when she is buzzed up which is pretty shitty.