I met this girl at work and started talking to her. So I asked her to chill outside of work and she said ok. On the day we were supposed to go out, I got a msg from her saying she can't make it due to some personal problems. The next time I saw her, I arranged another date and she was fine with it the day again. This girl gives all the IOI in person but keeps standing me up for a date. What should I do? Should I totally cut her off from my life?

One of two things I can think of aak girl out again and cancel on her before she gets the chance. Or try and make her jealous let her know ur going out without her and having a great time! Also let her think girls want you.

Example. I was at the club last weekend getting my dance on! When this girl started to dance on me from behind, she was so hammered she got a little to excited and knocked me and the girl I was dancing with to the floor!

I give a girl one "free flake", since shit can happen and I understand that. If she does a second time, she's out. I don't have time for that shit and neither should you.

#1 rule of successfully dealing with flakes? Don’t let it be a big deal. Stay cool when girls flake.

Blow it off, build more comfort, try again....later. NOT right away!

I think what happens with a lot of guys is they take it personal; if a girl flakes on him, a guy considers it a sign of disrespect. “Obviously she doesn’t respect me and she doesn’t respect my time,” he thinks.

You know what I realized? It’s not about you. Or at least, it’s very rarely about you. Most of the time when a girl flakes, it’s simply because something came up, or she misjudged how much time she had to allow to get there, or she started having doubts you were going to show up, or the date as arranged was inconvenient or difficult, or something along those lines. It’s almost never a judgment leveled at you.

So don’t take it so personal!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

That's why I always recommend inviting the girl to go do something with you that you'd be doing anyway, at least on the first date or two. Because even if you don't give a shit about her flaking, in her eyes it still DLV's you since you got stood up. But if you told her you were going to be at Starbucks every morning anyway, and she should stop by sometime to have a drink with you, then she's not exactly leaving you high and dry if she doesn't show. You'd be having your coffee anyway.

Obviously later on down the road you'll want to make date plans that are pre-arranged for just you and her, like dinner and a movie. But you should already have rapport and attraction established from your first date. If she starts flaking on dates later on down the road, then that's definitely a bad indicator of how things are going in her eyes. You may want to re-evaluate your game itself, and also whether you feel like she is even worth trying to keep gaming.

What I'm trying to say is that there are ways to avoid being continually stood up. It's not only about how you game, but how you strategize your date arrangements.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

should i just act cool and try again after a while?

Leave it alone, onus is on her to reschedule.

I agree with you to a point. If a girl likes a guy she'll make time for him. If she bails on him and doesn't offer another time to hangout, 9/10 she's not interested. Sure, you can put in the effort to build attraction and comfort and it may be worth the effort. But sometimes you just gotta call a spade a spade.

So I've noticed that when it comes to flaking a lot of the advice here is wait until another opportunity arrives without being needy or bringing up the flaking in order to build comfort and then try again when time is right. While I personally just find another target I'm curious on this...

If she flaked, and never replied back to your texts or calls. When attraction is re established, do you guys ask for the numbers again or...?

umm...i normally agree with a lot of the things you post, but id have to say that this is almost unequivocally wrong. its pretty much the opposite. most of the times she flakes its definitely about you. shes either lost interest or (most likely) never really intended to meet up in the first place.

girls are nice and want to avoid conflict and appear polite so its much easier for them to agree to do something with you at the time of the conversation and then just make an excuse to not show up last minute. which is the reason i think most guys on this forum just stop trying after the first flake. its just so likely shes not interested. i mean, sure sometimes you can turn that around, but most of the time its almost impossible and not worth a lot of effort.

its actually the small percentage of the time that she really wanted to and something came up. i agree with heavy who said about 90% of the time it means that shes just not interested.