In my first post I mentioned I was going to make another post..
Here it is.
I am talking to this chick. HB9. I've known her for about 2 years. We were talking back then but I had a GF, now she does but I don't know how to interpret her behavior. We only met again the other night in a bar and talked for a while and went to a club together a bit later. We started dancing and got pretty close. No K-close. When I read the txt again it feels like the whole thing was a disaster...
That night I told her we should met up the next day after Uni she agreed. When I txt her the next day she said she was still in bed. As my txt game sucks I guess I messed it up right there and was a proper AFC. I told her I was coming over to hers then. She replies with:
H: "Well, where I live it'll take you ages to get here." (true)
M: "true. as it's easier for you to come into town I'll meet you at the main station", H: "no. i'm too lazy"
After a n hour she is like:
H: "hey, my SPAM and I going to town now."
I didn't reply and 5 hours later she says
H: "Btw had a blast last night. Catch you later I'm going to the gym"
M: "Considering the night started as casual the end was pretty fun. We should repeat that, Hulk"
H: "Haha, yeah"
Today I gave it another try. (Saw it on one's post):
M: "I need you on a mission:
H: "What's up?"
M: "Instead of going jogging out there I thought I might go bouldering indoors. You would be a good partner"
H: "Hm, don't know. I'm more of a runner. It's in my nature. Us redheads always had to be quick runners as they wanted to burn us back then"
H: "What is it?"
M: "SPAM and Robin also knew how to shoot AND fight"
M: "It's climbing indoors"
H: "Hey, I'm so clumsy and you think I can move from stone to stone?! That's ridiculous"
M: "Some people must be forced to their luck. Meet you at 12 tomorrow at the main station"
H: "I think you have to climb that mountain yourself"
H: "Besides I don't like climbing"
" "
M: "Well, if you decide to be a bore..."
H: "Im not! I'm just the opposite"
"Squats and lunges are fun too"
"Or running until exhaustion"

She is fucking with me, isn't she!!
Is it all lost? I know I have much to learn. hope you can give me some advice on this one.

In my oppinion, the first error you've made (which influenced all the rest from that point) was wen you said you'll meet her at her place. She knew right away what you were thinking an got defensive.

A god oportunity, when she said she was going to town with her SPAM...you could neg her a lot and game her friend.

Oh, and you've texted a lot...as soon as you noticed things were not going according to your plan, you should have cut her righ away.

Thanks for that advice. I have loads to learn. Cheers

We can learn things about frame control from this girl, tell her to come and post on the forum

Sorry I'm pretty new to all that. So what exactly do you mean. She leads the entire conversation?? What can I do about that? Can I turn this whole thing around?

She was in control alng the entire conversation and you were always trying to make her change her mind (she noticed your strugle).

She sounds like one of those girls who says no to everything. So in return you must act like you don't care and seem active. T

So next time if you ask her to do something and if she says no be like "alright I'll go with (interest female friend name) instead. That should throw her a curve ball.

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Try to live your life like your dream is real

It sounded like she genuinely didn't like bouldering. I know you committed to doing that and making it your date plan, but you have to be adaptable. Pushing the bouldering date became a "bad thread" and you should've cut it and moved on to something different. Otherwise you are just going on and on about something that will force her to resist and put up a sheild. You did good by trying to tease her and get her to go outside of her box, but I could tell it was a dead end.

That's also why you don't want initial dates to be too high pressure or too built up. Just make it really casual. Don't text her for a while then one morning text her and tell her you're going jogging and see if she wants to come. She might even be a twat again and tell you she only jogs in the evening/morning, whichever is opposite of when you want to do it. If so, then just be like "Whatever, just thought I'd ask." Then a few days later contact her again and tell her you are jogging at the same time she normally does so she has no excuse to back out. If she does, then you'll know for sure she doesn't actually like you.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

The frame is the underlying meaning of an interaction, what is implied but not actually stated:

"no. i'm too lazy" = I know you are happy to organise your life around me and I'm enjoying it!

"Btw had a blast last night. Catch you later I'm going to the gym" = I like you but I'm not really that bothered, I've got shitloads going on in my life, I had fun with you but then I always do!

"Hey, I'm so clumsy and you think I can move from stone to stone?! That's ridiculous" - whatever man, I can do whatever I feel like doing, I have no need to please or impress you

"I think you have to climb that mountain yourself" - you're going to have to work a lot harder than that to impress me, sonny boy

She has a strong frame which means she's not easily influenced by others and has no problem taking charge of situations around her. She knows who she is and she's not looking the other party (in this case, you) to validate her. Rather she is judging the other party (again, you) according to whether he meets HER particular standards. This is exactly what WE should be doing.

In other words: she's an alpha female.
A good challenge.

Correct

I'm amazed how you break it down and it makes me smile a bit how she twists me around her little finger (if that's how you say it).
Can you give me an exmple of how you would have lead and control her and the conversation?
Thanks for your answers already

Her: Well, where I live it'll take you ages to get here
You: (text 1) That's true, you are quite inconveniently placed
You: (text 2, moments later) I think you should come into town, that would be a fair compromise

Her: no. i'm too lazy
You: Yes, it's a shame...

Her: Hey, I'm so clumsy and you think I can move from stone to stone?! That's ridiculous
You: You may be clumsy but you're strong of heart, you can do this, I have faith in you!

Her: I think you have to climb that mountain yourself
You: I have climbed that mountain myself many times, which is how I know how rewarding it can be. I hope you can experience the same thing one day.

More on the subtext of that later.

I agree with puaninja about cutting bad threads, HOWEVER, you should cut threads that result in DISINTEREST, not the ones that she shit tests you over. In this case she said "Hey, I'm so clumsy and you think I can move from stone to stone?! That's ridiculous", you don't cut the thread at that point, you hold your frame. At this point you show that you think mountain climbing is great and that she should do it. It doesn't matter if you're wrong. You don't do that by calling her a bore, but by showing a steadfast BELIEF in your own idea, WHETHER OR NOT she happens to agree.

If you'd said "hey we should go climbing" and she'd said "yeah, we could do, I suppose..." that would be a good time to cut the thread. The fact that she CHALLENGED you about the validity of your idea means you need to stick with it and show that you have belief in yourself and your own ideas.

This is a good thread! I am really benefiting from seeing all these comments. I agree with the other commentators that she seems to be an "alpha-female," which a lot of pretty girls tend to be. How would you guys recommend dealing with such type? Face fire with fire and just be alpha-male with her as well?