Quote:
Ah, I see your mistake. You went to a club. One of my rules is NEVER go to a club, you can't talk or charm and you end up just getting your drinks knocked when you try to walk around. If I'm in a club for longer than a few minutes I always feel like twisting some guy's head off with my bare hands. Of course some guys on this forum will do better in clubs it's all about taste and style. But from your earlier post I gather that you are more like me. You like to talk and develop a connection, this is very good and beyond most guys. The trick is to link that in with physical stuff, depending on your body type you'll have to go about that in different ways. But it will all come with experience. My point is that you did not play to your strengths and that was a mistake.
First off I should note that it isn't a club like you would find in the USA. Here in Bolivia it is a restaurant, bar, and club-like area all mixed together with just about any environment you could ask for. I'm also guessing the attitude is a lot different than normal because most everyone there is traveling through South America with very few locals. But I really don't have anything to compare it to.
Now, I might be wrong here but I don't think picking the club environment was a mistake last night even though it played to all my weaknesses at the same time. Think of it as a risk/reward thing. I know how to go down the slow, steady, safe path. Its what I've done with almost everything in my life. Not much risk on that path and the rewards are correspondingly slow to be handed out. Far less often I've gone off the deep end of the risk/reward path (though admittedly in my own controlled way usually). Its not easy, but the rewards can be enormous.
What I'm coming to realize, partly with the help of this thread, is that I've been conditioned in some bad ways and its giving me problems. Especially when it comes to anything physical. I've so far been taking the safe road but I know from experience that this will be a long one. So instead I dove off the deep end last night. I made better progress and learned more than I have in months. A mistake? I don't think so. I'm certain there will be nights that don't go so well if I continue the dive but that is all part of the risk of taking this path.
Quote:
Another thing I noticed:
You fixated, it's a mistake I make all the time. I'm guessing you like this girl, you have a crush. These things will ruin your fucking life, CRUSH THE CRUSH. Worse still once you failed with her you let it ruin your whole night, you let it get you down.
Some fixation briefly that night yes but no crush. More a realization that I was actually doing something right and never even knew it at the time. And yes I did let it get me down, but that was actually the best thing that happened as it was after that I took the dive off the deep end to see what would happen (and incidentally actually had some fun).
Quote:
Quote:
Thought of the day: Inner game cannot be completely nailed down without at least some work on outer game at the same time.
Outer game is immaterial, it all depends on your inner game. You see outer game depends entirely on inner game, and will come naturally if you master your inner game. The opposite however is not true. Just remember this, we are what we think, With our thoughts we make the world.
I understand what you are saying and agree that inner game drives outer game. Yet it is not something that occurs in isolation. If you're not out there interacting with women while working on inner game there will be a hole. It would be like learning to play the violin without ever picking up the actual instrument. I know from experience an amazing amount of learning an instrument can be done in your head but at some point there needs to be physical interaction with the instrument. That interaction with the instrument feeds back to the internal process (inner game) which drives the skill at playing forward even more (outer game).
CHAT
