How far ahead to ask her out?



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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 1:06 am 
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Here's the situation: I've been talking to this girl for about a week. She's a photographer, so I arranged to meet up with her to take a picture of something cool on campus last week, so I guess that was kind of a mini-date of sorts. We have a few days off from school this week (Jewish holiday) and I won't be able to do anything until the end of next week or later.

I feel like trying to set something up now for so far in advance just leaves more time for the plans to fall through. I feel like one or two days creates anticipation, but more than that leads to flaking. Plans falling through has happened to me before, and it sucks. But I don't want to miss this opportunity by waiting too long.

Do I A: Set something up ASAP, even if it might be up to a week beforehand

or B: Wait till it gets closer to the time I'd actually take her out, thereby increasing chances of something actually happening?


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:39 am 
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if the interest is high enough it doesn't matter, she will do anything to see you, if the interest is low enough, she'll do anything to not see you

the less time she has to think/re-think/over think

the more likely she won't flake, for example if you just call her to invite her out for that day and get her to qualify before hand that she isn't doing anything, more chance she will come out (doesn't mean that she absolutely will come out as stated before if the interest is low enough, she will do anything to not see you)


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 5:56 pm 
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FUCK YEAH!!!!!

Setting up date win.

We were talking on FB chat and I suggested we hang out in NYC. She seemed excited by the idea, so I set it up for next Sunday.

I have a week between now and then, and I won't see her till Thursday (she's not always on campus).

My question: What should I do in the interim? Just keep talking to her like normal and don't make too big a deal out of it? I know that girls overthink things more than us (if thats possible...), and I don't want to make it weird between now and then. I kind of want to maintain excitement and anticipation and I feel like talking to her at length between now and then ruins it.

If I see her on Thursday, what do I do? How do I act?

If this doesn't fall through, it'll be my first "real" date with a girl, and I think this one is actually interested in me, so I have a lot on my mind...

I NEED ALL OF THE ADVICE!!!!
Thanks


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:24 pm 
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Quote:
FUCK YEAH!!!!!

Setting up date win.

We were talking on FB chat and I suggested we hang out in NYC. She seemed excited by the idea, so I set it up for next Sunday.

I have a week between now and then, and I won't see her till Thursday (she's not always on campus).

My question: What should I do in the interim? Just keep talking to her like normal and don't make too big a deal out of it? I know that girls overthink things more than us (if thats possible...), and I don't want to make it weird between now and then. I kind of want to maintain excitement and anticipation and I feel like talking to her at length between now and then ruins it.

If I see her on Thursday, what do I do? How do I act?

If this doesn't fall through, it'll be my first "real" date with a girl, and I think this one is actually interested in me, so I have a lot on my mind...

I NEED ALL OF THE ADVICE!!!!
Thanks
instead of focusing on her, go cold approach some girls and get your 2nd through 20th date set up, so if it falls through you have more of a safety net to fall back on and won't start getting fixated on a girl who is flaky, getting the date without the girl saying no is easy, most girls say yes, and if they are not interested flake closer to the date, also meeting more girls helps you not give a shit if she does flake, certainly takes the sting away from a girl blowing you off when you have 20 more that are not blowing you off

GOOD LUCK


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:31 pm 
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Thanks for the advice.

I think I was successful in creating a deep connection with this girl, so I THINK I'll be okay...

A friend is having his 21st by my place this coming weekend, and everyone is getting trashed. Hopefully some girls will be over, and now I'm kind of not sure if I should try to hook up. Because if I have a day planned with a girl with whom I have deep connection, it IS a bit insensitive to get with sluts the day before...

...and if I do end up scoring with a different girl this weekend, should I avoid mentioning it to the first girl when we have our date? Or should I take the unapologetic, Mystery-style "I am a sexual being and I am not going to hide that", which could push her away?


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 10:53 pm 
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Quote:
Thanks for the advice.

I think I was successful in creating a deep connection with this girl, so I THINK I'll be okay...

A friend is having his 21st by my place this coming weekend, and everyone is getting trashed. Hopefully some girls will be over, and now I'm kind of not sure if I should try to hook up. Because if I have a day planned with a girl with whom I have deep connection, it IS a bit insensitive to get with sluts the day before...

...and if I do end up scoring with a different girl this weekend, should I avoid mentioning it to the first girl when we have our date? Or should I take the unapologetic, Mystery-style "I am a sexual being and I am not going to hide that", which could push her away?
yes, it is quite insensitive and indifferent to go for other girls when one is on the line, and that was the point, indifference is your friend (when it comes to getting laid), with other options on the go, you care less, you react less, you don't worry as much, and you are more likely to escalate to sex when you are indifferent to what will happen as a result

and yes, don't go around bragging about your hookups, keep it discreet as possible, girls can usually just tell from your demeanor confidence and indifference that you are a good catch, you don't need to ''dhv'' with a story about banging some girl as they say, a girl will just know you're a catch when you escalate and are ice cold non reactive about it


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