| Hey Guys interesting read from askmen.com:
This week's letter comes from a good-looking man who wants to know why sexy ladies are choosing flabby guys over him and his muscles.
reader's question
Dear Doc,
I'm a good-looking, intelligent guy with a great body that I enjoy flaunting at the gym. Needless to say, I enjoy receiving attention and compliments from women without exerting any effort.
What irks me, however, is that I sometimes see couples at the gym in which the women are babes and the guys are "doughboys." I love the challenge of diverting these particular women's attention away from their doughboys.
So why would a great-looking woman date a lumpy guy with no class or obvious sex appeal? Is she insecure? Or is she intimidated by male beauty and therefore plays it safe? Why would a woman who takes care of herself want to risk having dumpy-looking kids?
Sometimes I flirt with such women while their men are elsewhere, but I always start to feel sorry for the guys when that happens. One time, a woman even necked with me on an airplane for two hours, and then, upon arrival, introduced me to her husband.
I would certainly consider pursuing such a woman from an attraction standpoint, but if she has the capacity to be disloyal like that, then I would rather not bother.
Bart -- who would like you to comment
doc love's answer
Hi Bart,
Well, you've presented some interesting questions, but first I have to take you to task. Something about you seems a bit off kilter, namely: when you say you enjoy "flaunting" your body, you sound like a chick.
If I were to look up the definition of "narcissist" in the dictionary, I know I'd find something like this: 1) A person who is excessively fascinated with his or her own appearance, and 2) A picture of Bart.
Get over yourself and learn what it takes to succeed with women...
Dude, you seem to be quite taken with yourself. But your preoccupation with your looks is clouding your vision. You say you love the "challenge" of diverting a hot-looking woman's attention away from her "doughboy." Let me ask you this, Bart; is there any reason for such a sleazy move, other than for your own ego gratification?
wake up, man!
Your concept of the proper way to relate to your fellow human beings is rather, shall we say, immature and uncaring. This is where your mind goes when you're around your gym mates, getting off on trying to sabotage other people's relationships? You'd be better off spending your time either taking your workout seriously, or at least hitting on women who aren't attached.
I'm not done yet. Let me give you a quote from one of the best-selling books in history: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." Or, as my acupuncturist Dr. Lao would say, "This kind of action make much bad karma!"
Why do these women choose a guy who isn't buff like someone such as yourself? Well Bart, although to you, looks are everything, to a lot of people, they're not. They're only part of the equation. What you fail to see is that Mr. Pie Man with the babe has other qualities that outweigh his lack of physical attractiveness. He may be incredibly talented, funny and fun to be with. Maybe he's extra confident with super high self-esteem and his woman finds those qualities more irresistible than anything. Maybe he's the best lover she's ever had.
And you know, just because a woman is super hot, it doesn't mean that she's also super intelligent. Maybe Mr. Lumpy is extra brainy and she looks up to him because she has the brains of a ping-pong ball. Maybe she's in love and isn't thinking that her kids will turn out lumpy too, but rather that they'll have his brains and her good looks. Or, possibly, he's her father figure and makes her feel safe and secure, and feeling that way is her highest priority.
looks aren't everything
A less noble reason that a woman might be with a flabby guy is that she could be a mercenary who is just using him for his money and she cheats on him with guys she meets on airplanes. Or, she could be insecure or intimidated by male beauty, two things that you mentioned Bart, and that would put her in the low self-esteem category.
The Bottom Line Factor says that there are a variety of reasons why any one woman might be with a particular guy. You never know until you give her the intensive, comprehensive interview.
But before I finish, Bart, allow me to remind you that eventually, your perfect body might no longer be so perfect and you'll find yourself wishing that you had found a woman who doesn't make physical appearance her highest priority. Take that idea as a jawbreaker and suck on it for a while.
And if you don't want to wind up in a relationship with a woman who would be disloyal to you, then don't go around enabling women who have tendencies to be disloyal. To you Psych majors, what goes around comes around.
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