Situational Analysis

I think your main sticking point in this instance is your phone game. 20 minutes of conversation on the phone is still too long. I highly recommend that you browse through Cowboy's (RetiredRodeo) posts and threads and learn his phone game.

You should have cut her off after 5 or 10 minutes and said something like: "Hey, gotta go. Call you later."

Note the "Call you later." HBs use this a lot to their advantage leaving you wanting for more. Use it to your advantage. Always end the conversation first. And always say, "Call you later" even if you're going to call her 4 or 5 days later or not at all.

Phone Game Branding

You should also manage your phone game branding. HBs have dozens upon dozens of text mates and callers. You'll have to immediately separate yourself from the crowd. If you watch those soda/softdrink commercials, they have a branding/marketing copy/slogan that the TV or radio commercial repeats thousands of times 24/7.

Always begin your text or call with something like: "Hey little dork.", "Hey little rabbit.", "Hey little puppy." "Hey little pussy cat."

Choose just one branding opener and use it always but don't be too needy and use it thousands of times on a girl for a week (you're not running a Coke commercial). Personally, I use two of these for different types of girls, "Heyah little shrimp" and "Heyah little lobster."

Summary

• 1. Improve your phone game. Learn Cowboy's techniques.
  
  2. Always end conversations first with this convo closer, "Call you later." "See yah." is also good.
  
  3. Use a phone convo opener for branding to separate you from the herd.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

ok i got the part about the phone game and i'll pay attention to the conversation length... but how do i escalate it now? she has exams to do and i don't wanna feel needy.. im not going to call her till her exam on thursday and going to wait for her to call again.. but what then? another funny conversation? or should i tell her that we need to meet in person becuase she "ran out of phone time" ?

Whoa... don't get bogged down in 'what to say'. Always define WHY you're talking to her. One of the biggest keys to 'game' is being natural. If it seems like a line to a chick - you're failing.

HH is dead on. I don't just 'talk' on the phone for 20 minutes. I spend 4000+ minutes/month on the phone for my work, I sure as hell don't have the desire to just chit-chat with a woman after I've been on the damn phone all day - literally. If I'm calling a chick there's a purpose. Either something happened or I'm trying to fuck her.

For me - I text to sext to phone to meet to fuck.

That's the progression. A phone call from me is indicative of the fact I want to see her again. It's not a DHV point, it's not a strategy - it's just fact.

Also - your deadline is all in your head. It doesn't matter - and you can't let it rule your day. If she doesn't pan out - have 3 others waiting in the wings to fill her place. Never treat one woman as if she deserves ALL your attention unless she does. I mean, unless you see marriage or an LTR - why bother? You're only setting yourself up for oneitis.

Seriously, put forth effort to hit on other chicks. If this one calls, then gain complaince - set the date, and let your interest be known in a cocky, FUNNY way.

With new chicks in my stable - I don't 'ask them out'. I say something to the effect of "Hey, I'm going to go to Maggie's at 9. It'd be great to meet you there." -- It's a meeting. It's not even a date yet. I don't KNOW if I WANT to date her yet. I've not pre-selected past the point of saying "Damn, she's cute - I'd like to fuck her." She doesn't deserve my 'intimate' time until I say so.

For me - I always ask myself this "What message do I want her to take from this conversation?" And I treat it accordingly. I inform them up front about my work, my talk-time, etc... so they are already prepared for my being busy. Sure I could get more women if I talked more on the phone - it's a cyclical process... but I'm comfortable. I limit talking to a chick, I ensure 'sex' is part of every undercurrent of our interaction, and go from there.


...On a side note - and other PUA's can attest to this - you'll start going through a phase where you're learning/growing/practicing/conceptualizing 'the game' and you'll become a sponge. You'll also find a rough patch or two where you feel defeated. Don't let it get to you! It's natural. Go through that. You'll still get women, you'll still improve - but you'll feel like you're spinning your wheels... I call that a transition phase. What's REALLY happening is you're starting to actually THINK during the set. You're able to sit down later on and write down as you remember things said during the night. The ability to remember/critique your own game for message/escalation/stacking/modeling/etc.. is the separator from making you just a guy who's lucky with chicks on occasion, and a PUA.

You're well on your way to getting there... Seriously. But don't let ONE woman dominate your frame so much. Game others, and if this works - it works. If it doesn't... you say "Oh well, I'll stop thinking about it as I'm fucking that cute red head over there..."

Hope that makes sense... I feel like I'm all over the map here...

Best,

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

I have been following this post and would like to say you are doing well! My only comment is that you need to be more assertive, and less accommodating.

Right now to her you are available when she needs you, when she starts thinking about her ex or is stressed out you are her crutch, and her rebound. Let me ask you something? do you see this girl as a FB? or as a possible GF? that is something you should think about! if you just want to sleep with her then keep at it, but if you want her as a gf then you need to give her some space and let her get over her ex because I have the sens she is not 100% of him yet, its not easy getting over someone you have been with for 2 years! plus you don't want to be with a girl who has feelings for another guy. Another thing to think about, did she break up with him or did he break up with her? and what was the reason? If she broke up with him but did it because he cheat then chances are she still has strong feelings for him!, and it he broke up with her then her interest level for her ex will still be very high!

My advice on how you should handle this if you think she is gf material:

Tell her that you think she is a really cool girl, you really like her and think highly of her, but that she just got out of a long term relationship which she needs to deal with, and you are about to travel for 3 months, tell her that you think its best that she is single for a while and when you get back you will give her a call and the two of you will hang out.

This will do a couple things:

1# you will have time do assess the situation, if she does not get back with her ex bf after a few months then chances are she has not desire to be with him.

2# She has time to get over her bf, work out her issues, and you wont be the "rebound" guy.

3# You are taking the lead and saying "I like you, but im not willing to be a rebound, in a few months I will be back and you will go out with me" instead of saying "Im here when ever you need me".

Now this wont be easy since you seem to really like this girl? but its much better then getting with her and then her leaving you for her ex, or you leaving for 3 months and her cheating with her ex.

be smart!

thanks man!
well i do really like her and after i will be back from europe i will join the army (like all of israeli 18 year old guys&girls) so a gf would be very useful during this three years and i can't think of any other girl than her that i wish would play that role.
your suggestion about how handling the situation is very intresting in my opinion and i think i would use it.. do you think i should give her that speech immidietly next time she calls me or should i wait closer to the time i will be leaving cause i don't think i can build anymore A&C at the moment, i maximized it, i think that by missing me and waiting for me to come i can really have her as a GF when i come back..

ok i would like some help for the situation im currently experincing...
so her big exam was yesterday and since monday night when we had our conversation over the phone we have'nt connected each other...
im going to be pretty busy the coming week and i suppose i should wait for her to contact me as least till the end of this week.. i need her to understand that she needs me much much more than i need her... so im just waiting for her to call that's it ? this situation seems pretty passive to me that's why im not sure maybe i should play for the intiative? and second thing is let's say that we're going to talk sometimes more and then it's the last week before im leaving the country.. should i "force" somekind of a meeting and tell her the "you're really cute but im leaving israel now for 3-4 months and you need to be a little bit single after this long relationship... but i promise that when i'll be back i'll call you and we'll meet just the two of us"
by the way i made a small research and apperantly they mutually broke up because they both were unhappy in the relationship.

Lol...dude she has no interest in you. If you can actually convince her she "needs YOU MORE than YOU NEED HER" man release a pick-up product. Bet it will go for MILLIONSSSSSS!

But seriously dude....move on.

haha do you have this one in a more exeggrating form?
i never said "convince" i just said let her understand... this is the fucking situation and she's smart enough to understand it by herself.
did you actually read everything and your conclusion is that i need to move on and let it go cause if you do, i would like you maybe to give some explanation..

Turning grape juice into wine may seem passive when you look at the oak barrels sitting still in a cold basement for years. The fact is, the fermentation process does not require much human input after the grapes are pressed and stored in oak barrels.

In the same light, you need to discover the powers of intrusive thinking, wanting, and the thrill of the chase as applied to the girl.

You are in intrusive thinking mode about the girl. On the other hand, she is not in intrusive thinking mode about you. You want those things that seem to be something that you can't have. On the other hand, the girl knows she can have you at her back and call anytime. She doesn't want you. You're too easy. To put this in perspective, which sport medal did you value most, the one you worked hard for, something that wasn't as easy to win, or one that was freely given away without much effort from your end? You are chasing the girl. You're thrilled. But girls have a need to chase too. You have not given that to her yet, therefore, you're boring as fuck.

You did your part. Let her miss you. For sure, she'll miss the things that you did for her and even the smell of your hormones if you two have seen each other in person. When she starts to miss you, that's like your money earning money from your shares of a bullish stock. You don't have to lift a finger until you cash in. Intrusive thinking is what you do towards this girl. Let the girl think the same way about you. Occupy your mind with other girls so you won't be thinking much about her.

You gave her a free sample of what you can offer. You're fun. You're funny. You two vibe well. Now, let her know that you are scarce and valuable. She can't find another you in other guys. How will she know this if you don't let her miss you? We want things that we can't immediately have. We want them more when these things are not suddenly available.

Finally, don't be an easy kill. In courtship, the females dictate the pace. In courtship, women are the hunters not men. Don't be fooled. If you're one of many abundant rabbits that lay dead without much effort at women's baits and traps, then you're just one of the meat that goes with the potatoes for dog food. If you're the rare deer that's so difficult to trap and shoot, then you'll be the main fare in a feast.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

thanks man, i find your responses intelligent and knowledgble and it helps me very much, as you said i'll fill-up my mind with other girls and when she'll call i'll play the deer.

Grow some horns. Get some bad boy juices flowing into your system. Learn some bad boy vibe in Skill's Guide to Text Game, here: the-skills-secrets-to-text-game-vt138170.html

I find it difficult to find the phone game gem samples from Heywood and RR so find them yourself. These guys post all over the place for fun rather than with a definite structure for marketing purposes, so you'll be like looking for needles in a hay stack. But it's worth the effort.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

I've got a pretty simple system for dealing with these types and it's designed to filter out the time waster (just want to talk) girls. After my initial fun guy frame has been set over text (this usually requires an evening or two of texting) I'll try to set up a date. I'll do this at the peak of the conversation. Most of the time they say yes but if I get a flakey excuse "my cat has diarrhoea" then I'll say!

"That's no problem, sure if you want to meet up some other time let me know when your free and we can set up something fun! Right it's late now and I've a big day tomorrow so I'll talk to you later!! Night"

Sometimes they will respond immediately with a new date and time. If they do this then respond quickly with "Cool, sounds like a plan! I'm looking forward to it already!! Night night"

Other times they will reply with a general "Night night" or not reply at all. In these two cases, just wait it out and see if they respond over the next few days. Don't text them first!

If they do text again then repete the process! If they still flake then cut them lose!

ok so i was very busy during this week and on tuesday she sent me a message on FB "idodii" which is like my name with "diiii" in the end which is like a normal nickname for a kid in israeli... i did'nt like it and i was busy so i have'nt responded her... should i intiate the contact and set the frame now that my chess tournament is over tonight and tell her that she can join me and we'll hangout or something or should i still leave the grape juice as it is ? she was probably annoyed when she understood that i saw her message but did'nt responded.. maybe i should send her now smt like "i had a tournament that finished today.. so i was busy and could'nt talk with you.. lets go and hangout tonight."

Just say, "Let's go hangout tonight."

Don't explain what you did the previous days and nights. If she wants to know information on your whereabouts, let her work hard for it. Let her marinate in intrusive thinking. Let her think, "What did he do that he forgot to call me? Where has he been?"

If you manage to get a hangout, be more sexual in your words and nonverbal signals.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

just text her "let's do something today"? then i'll be in a chess game from 18:30 to 23:00 and i won't be able to respond so i'll just call her then if she confirmes and tell her im coming to pick her up and we'll go and do something...
any suggestions for things i can do with her?