Hey guys..

Need some advice. Sorry if this is a little long winded, but I feel I should explain the details...

My GF of 6 months had, up until this past week, 3 jobs that she worked.

She worked all these jobs to regain money she lost while she was unemployed a few years ago and also to repay student debt that she has. She is in her early-mid 30's.

Her full time job was M-F normal 9-5ish hours.
This is the job she got laid off from this past week.

Her second job she works saturday during that day at an interior hardware company working the front desk.

The third job she works a few nights a week at a small bar/restaurant that her friend owns.

The issue I'm running into concerns her restaurant job primarily.

Tonight we were supposed to hang out. Last night she texted me and said she "might have to work tomorrow" meaning Saturday. I was out playing pool and didn't respond right away so she texted back "are you mad?"

And I replied that I wasnt and that I understood since she just got laid off at her main job that she needs to work as many hours as she can at her other jobs.

She said cool and that we would hang out once she was off.

Problem is, is that she never really knows when she will get off when she works there. If it is busy, they keep her later and she'll help close. If it isn't as busy, she'll leave around 9-10pm

The restaurant is in downtown seattle and I work about 35-40 minutes east of Seattle.

The issue I am running into mainly concerns her job at the restaurant.

Don't know if anyone on here has worked in a restuarant, but there are lots of nights/weekends and being on call quite a bit.

This makes it really hard to plan things. There have been times in the past where we will be on the way to dinner somewhere and her friend will text her and say that they are slammed and need her to come in so I have to turn the car around and drop her off, robbing us of a night of hanging out.

This is getting old.

Tonight I got home at about 10:45pm and she text me sorry, and that I'm a "widow to her jobs". She then asked again if I was mad.

I replied "No. But I don't think tonight is gonna work out babe. I just got home. Have a good night. Be safe!"

I didn't know when she would be off work, and earlier (around 5:00-10:00) I was at a bar watching sports with my buddy, kinda hoping that she would get off arond 10 and I would swing by afterwards. The bar that I was at is much closer to seattle than my house is.

But because of her crazy schedule the timing didn't work out.

We both have regular commitments during the week so there are usually only a couple days per week that we are able to hang out.

I guess my question is if I need to be more understanding and go with it? Or any advice on how I should approach this. For the first few months of dating her she just had her M-F job and the part time job on Saturday but that was it.

It is terrible that she got laid off and I want to be as understanding to her financial situation and trying to get as many hours as possible but the up and down schedule and plans being up in the air is frustrating.

Any advice much appreciated.

Thanks

That's a tough one as I see your point! She's your gf so all you want to do is see her and your currently not satisfied with the way things are going! However I don't think there's too much she can do about it apart from set up possibly one evening a week where she won't accept a call from work! Though I'm guessing you get to see her one evening a week?

Ps she's work out that it's getting on your nerves which is why she's asking if your mad. DONT get angry about it because she's in a shitty situation!

Plus look on the bright side...she ain't got time to cheat lol

Thanks for the reply man. Yah its not a fun spot to be in for either of us.

The first time that i had to turn the car around on the way to dinner, i could physically feel my body getting frustrated and angry but had to bite my lip and say thats ok no big deal cuz i didnt want her to see that it effected me so i hear ya there.

We typically text throughout the day and she is pretty sharp so she can tell if something comes up that might make some other guys mad so i try hard to not make it appear that it doesnt bother me. I am getting used to it so it bothers me less now than it used to. Now its more just like a shitty no win situation which is why i posted to get some other insight.

The cheating point is valid lol! She works too much for that too happen though she does work at a trendy place wear there are lots of guys drinking (though a good number of them are gay haha) and will wear low cut stuff to get better tips. This too kinda bugged me at first but she has a huge rack so straight guys are gonna notice whether it is low cut or not haha.

So im just gonna be patient..shell eventually get a new M-F job that will hopefully allow her to quit one of her other jobs (ideally the restaurant gig).

Me personally I would make a date to do something (not an average dinner then f-close). I would do something fun to where both of you can hang out all day Like an amusement park. Give her an awesome day. At the end of your all day date ask if she had a good time. She will say yes. Then be like it's kind of a shame we cant do this more often. Then from there make a date that cant be interrupted by work. What the amusement park date will do is cause her to want to be with you and have more fun times like that.

Good luck man and just be patient. It'll show you respect her work and that you have a life outside of her. But if she still continues to put work before you (after you gave her that amazing day) then talk to her and sort out these problems.

Ok, first off you need to give this girl props for taking care of business and paying her bills! Now the question/problem you present is a problem with you, not her. Can you deal with the fact that this girl works this much? If the answer is yes, then you make the best of the time you get to spend with eachother, if the answer is no, then you explain that to her and move on. Either way, you cannot expect her lifestyle to change in the near future. It is a tough spot for you, Good Luck!

Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

Oh believe me, I respect her quite a bit for working so hard, and more importantly, not looking for a sugar daddy to help with her financial responsibilities.

But you're right, it is a tough spot. I am thinking eventually if it keeps going like this that I will end it but for the time being I will be patient and see how things go.

Thanks again for the advice.

Well the positive thing is that she is a hard worker! honestly man thats hard to come by!

that being said you need to get her to see your side of things. Tell her how it makes you feel and that you need (not want) more time from her.

seems like a minor logistical thing.

if your connection is strong, none of this shit matters.

if your the type that needs to see her all the time, u may want to find a girl who is less busy.

just roll with it, and when you DO see her, make sure its memorable (i.e. rough wild sex)

Thanks for the reply.

Don't need to see her all the time...we both have pretty busy schedules and I'm fine with that. It's when things change at the drop of a hat that it becomes annoying and hard to schedule around.

Saw her yesterday when she was house sitting, but she was sick so that ruled out sex for the night.

Haven't had sex with her since last Wednesday, and definitely feel like we are drifting apart. I texted her a little while ago, just saying "Hi you alive?" as I hadn't heard from her all morning (we normally text throughout the day). I won't be texting or contacting her again unless I hear back.

We're supposed to hang out tomorrow but who knows if that will happen now. Hanging out with her once with no sex of any kind I can live with but twice in a week...that gets old really quick and doesn't do any favors as far as keeping any sort of spark going.

Not gonna lie, not feeling so hot about it right now.

Any other advice greatly appreciated.

Thanks

sometimes relationships can be logistical nightmares.
it comes down to how much you like her/want her.

my gf lives 40 min away from me, same shit happens.
we make plans, she changes them last minute for whatever reason.
i do it too, but not as much. we probly have sex once every 10 days.

but it works for me (for various health and other reasons).

before her I had a girl who lived closer, drove, was willing to come see me whenever, and had a high sex drive.

but i dumped her for the new one.

just gotta find what works for you. if you have reason to believe your GF is not into you anymore tho, or the relationship is falling apart for some reason, thats kinda a different issue.

you should probly have a talk with her about these issues if its really bothering you. try to set a weekly date where its kinda set in stone as much as it can be.

if things come up, no biggie. sometimes i wont see my girl for over 7-8 days. it only increases the sexual tension and makes her want it more.

I hear ya, my GF lives about 30 minutes away.

There was a stretch over Memorial Day where we saw each other/had sex 7 days in a row and didn't get tired of it. Going from that to barely once a week is a bit of a shock to the system.

Still no word back from her today. I keep fighting the urge to check my phone and worry about it, but again, going from texting frequently throughout the day to this is surprising. But she is sick (ear/throat thing) and felt like crap when I saw her yesterday so for all I know she could have stayed home in bed today.

Time for more patience I suppose lol.

Thanks again for your input.