"Success depends on how many mistakes you're willing to make." ~ Unknown

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." ~ Michael Jordan

“I have not failed 1000 times. I have successfully discovered 1000 ways to NOT make a light bulb.” ~ Thomas Edison

"The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything - and it works. "
~ William Strong

I was thinking about the William strong quote above today and one of the thoughts that really stuck out in my mind is how we as true pick up artists handle rejection vs those that just try stuff and leave the community. Also, those who master the game vs those who just want to get the girl.

There are a lot of people that come to the community. There are those people that come around maybe they read a book or two but they can't get past the idea of rejection and they don't really go very far with this stuff. Call it what you want approach anxiety, apprehension, not having any balls, whatever. They just can't get past the idea that they are going to get rejected regardless of how you tell them to try to view it or handle it.

Then there are your struggling AFCs working their way to PUAs. They actually are trying to go out there and apply what they are learning through the community. Sure they try and fail but they keep trying. They soak up knowledge, they post on the forum, maybe hang out in chat, and then there is a few that even actually apply what they've learned. From there the numbers get thinner and thinner as you work your way from the basic PUA trying to learn everything to GURU. However, that is for another post.

One of the things that seperates the guys in the community who are masters, teachers, guru's, coaches, etc. from the basic guy who is just trying to get the girl is mindset.

There are people who are here because what they care about their goal is to get the girl, and that is fine. Then there are those here in the community who goal is to get fluid and solid with their game, and the girls are inconsequential. Sure they get women, but they don't ulimately care. They are here to focus on being the best at the game they can be, not the women, the women they encounter are just a side effect of getting good.

These masters, teachers, gurus, etc. have this different mindset that your average guy on the forum. Amateurs train and practice over and over again until they get it right, then they stop. Then they usually stop learning and trying new things. They find something that works for them then they quit caused their desired goal was the girl or girls.

Professionals in the community keep doing things over and over again, they keep pushing the envelope until they get it wrong. They keep pushing their ideas, tactics, and beliefs trying thing that should fail to keep learning. A lot of them consult with each other to learn new things and they keep practicing those new skills until they become fluid with it. They go to other people's bootcamps and seminars to learn new things, and they go out, they fail with it until they can master that method too. Again their goal, their mission, their WHY, is to get better with their own game until its solid or they can pickup virtually anyone, the ellusive 5 out of 5 from cold approaches, or whatever. They are doing this for themselves not the girls.

Each has an equal place in the community and are certainly welcome here on the forum. To those that really want to "get good" with this stuff remember it all starts in your mind. It is all about settings goals for yourself each night you go out to do something new until you master that part, then move on to the next thing.

You know most of us don't like to go out and do new things because if I try something I'm not use to I might not look so good doing it while my buddies watch me, but then you don't get better. As I've said before on the forum learning methods and getting really better with game isn't about doing what you like to do. It's about learning and doing the stuff you generally don't like to do and aren't good at.

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Didn't even have to read the content in the thread.

The title is 100% accurate

You´ll always succeed at trying!

I´m a bit of a lone wolf here in Cologne, seems like I´m the only one I know who ever even heard of this art. And it´s hard to be a newbie without a mentor only having my life experience to rely on, when I need specific guidance.

I´m glad I found this forum, you guys are more then helpful, you are inspiring. Thank you (and the many other amazing, intelligent, witty and insightful PUAs) for providing me with the kind of guidance posts like this are.

That kinda stuff keeps me on track!

Ok Smooth, who told you to write this for me?

Thank you man. This is a clear blueprint. focus on your game. improving yourself, your abilities and the results will follow.

But for me, the real insight is in looking at it from a developmental manner. If i approach and fail, i learn. If i fail and fail, I learn what to do different but just keep moving on. Working on my game. It's about my development, to hell with this stupid fear of approaching, of acting, If i don't do this, I'll reach nowhere.

What choice do i have. I have to act and learn.

Thanks again.

You are welcome. Happy to help.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Very important post.

The number one mistake rookies make is to quit as soon as things get rough. The only way to get good is to push through that difficult part and get the rewards on the other side. And not take offense when things arent going well. There are no failures, only learning possibilities.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Very well put together post JSmooth, as per usual. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I am here learning to get the girl. I didn't come here to set out to become a master at this, I came here to learn how to become a more social, fun person. When I first joined, I used what I learned and eventually got a girlfriend. We spent 3 and a half fun years together before we split, but I am hoping I can do the exact same thing again. I have forgotten much of what I had learned while in my relationship, but I am ok with that. I am back here, re-learning what escaped my brain while I was with my ex.

Some are here with a goal in mind, while others are here to forever expand their skills. Like you said, there is a place for everyone. I have to believe I did something right in my first relationship to have it last that long, and I think I learned a lot of that from here. We are all here for different reasons, and I think that is why a lot of threads have differing opinions on how things should be handled.

But again, great post.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

"a winner never quits" "a quitter never wins"... Awesome post jsmooth i was just getting into a huge argument with a beginner here, the problem is they want instant gratification(of course a stelar follower), as everybody knows game and women are extremely easy, but there is a lot of things that require effort, multiple failures and hard work to get there and make it second nature... For example is really easy to drive a car, bicycle etc... for most of us it is automatic second nature, but at the beginning it was super awkward, difficult, scary... A lot of this kids want just to get in a car for the first time, i win the Grand-Prix...

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Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
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I was happy about this post.

I decided to approach every girl that I would get in bed with, even if I don't plan on running game. Gym, street, train, car, whatever - 3 second rule. The results have partially been disastrous.

But a few numbers, and my first snl, or maybe not I don't remember but great time!

I still have approach anxiety, but it's starting to recede.

I don't take rejection personally anymore and it does not mess up my mood anymore.

I analyze what I did wrong and think to myself, "what an idiot, she would have been easy. This was the result of nervousness." The best remedy is more practice until I stop getting nervous in front of HB higher on the scale.

I know I am on my way.

I am willing to fail in order to succeed. I know I will succeed, I already am just by forcing myself out of my comfort zone every fucking day.

And after a fairly short time of exposure to PU material, I already see results. I refuse to be AFC!!!!