My buddy who is 5'6 140 pounds and has dated and fucked some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Super good game and very witty. Not a particularly good looking guy but has some dope tats and plays the rocker style well.

He was recently with a HB9.5 for about 3 years. They split up a year ago and they've had little contact every 2-3 months sometimes shorter sometimes longer. We talk daily about pick up (he doesn't study like I do, all his stuff is natural) and most days our conversations lead to theories of attraction and eventually how were gonna get over our exes. Done the whole "Fuck 10 girls" thing and it simply doesn't work for everybody and not us. I think the only true way to get over a oneitis is to leave on your own terms.

Let's face it, most the time our oneitis is in control. They know this and we know this. It's imperative to change the frame. To show that you don't care without telling her you don't care. To get her wondering why your not chasing her anymore. Completely change the frame of your relationship.

My buddy has his own trouble with his oneitis but he really does a good job of nobody knowing and keeps his emotions from her. But, every time she texts him, he responds answering whatever she asks or inquires about, like a pawn. He got sick of it, and got sick of her fucking up his pick up game. So after not talking for the last 3 weeks, she texts him asking if he still had his car he wrecked, he responded;

PUA-Fuck off

That was it. She didnt send nothing back, he didn't either.

2 days later, she texts him again with "I was thinking today about that time you fucked me on the kitchen counter. It was the best sex I've ever had. I want more of it".

He then calls me, we talk about the situation, and decide not respondingis the best right now. Even though we know were thinking about her, we also know that she's thinking about him and probably bat shit crazy as to why he didn't respond.

3 days from that. She texts him "Hey". He doesn't respond.

To this point, I really don't think he's changed the frame yet, but I think she will break soon and he can control the frame better.

On that note, my ex texted me today about my dog and getting it cause she don't have time to take care of him. I told her my mom would be by Sunday to get him. She then texts me saying "Cosequences, you know I still care about you right? We used to be so great together and then all that stuff happened."

I replied, "Whatever dude. The chase isnt worth the catch anymore. This game of cat and mouse is for losers. Fuck that, fuck you, and have nice life."

She doesn't respond for 2 hours. Then sends me, "I'm not trying to play games. I just want to move on it's for the best"

So, let the games begin. I actually have 2 girlfriends now so it's easier to deal with but I don't like these girls. In fact, i don't like any girls i meet because they all fall for the same cocky funny asshole like puppets. It's a shame that caring for a girl and trying in a relationship is what dooms it.

Maybe the relationship is too far gone to change frames. We'll see. But we have 2 examples and 2 PUA's taking on similar challenges. I'll keep any updates posted here. If your struggling with an ex and get no where by talking with reason with her, I suggest you try this while picking up tail on the side ofcourse.

I think I'd be interested in this.

Still deciding on whether to go for the ex again or not, but either way I'm just bide my time till she contacts me and I can change the frame? (not sure if I used that correctly, but I'm just waiting for her to come crawling back so I can own her ass basically)

to be honest, i don't think its worth it, yeah sure she might come crawling back, but 2-3months down the line your going to be in the exact same situation, best to move on

Ohwell. See what happens. If anything if she comes crawling back I'll just use it as an opportunity to test out anything I might learn fro this thread

How do you know she will be crawling back? I mean, i just recently broke up with my girlfriend, and i reduced contact to about 1%. But she s really confident and i dont wanna beg her to get back with me like an AFC. Now first of all, im the one who broke us up so i have the control there. But i cant get her crawling back.

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Romaniac

I don't. I'm just assuming she will eventually try to make contact.

I'm not counting on that happening though. It's just an option I'm considering if that does happen.

That's why I'm trolling this thread

I she is a sucking girl..you don't need to leave her.

Update:My buddy tottally caved and started talking to his ex again. She asked him to come see her and he obliged. Fucking idiot. They been on and off again for awhile and he keeps repeating the same mistake. She is the hottest 29 year old I know though, I will give him that.

What he told me was she admitted to being in love with him but was "scared" to be with him right now because her family doesn't like him. She currently has a boyfriend and she finally admitted to him she doesn't love her boyfriend like she does him.

It's a big trap. She doesn't want to be with him but he doesn't want to lose him. I've argued with him ad naseum about this and he thinks she's "different". I'm so pissed at him right now for not following through but whatever, every man for himself.

I on the other hand haven't received a text yet. I think it's rather easy to stop thinking about your ex when you just man up and get stubborn. Having other girls also helps >:)

I'm still holding strong though boys. Will keep you posted.

Good ex is dead ex. At least for me.

I hate flashbacks.

I'm also in a similar situation, I'll keep an eye on this and add some input later

Good thread, a couple of things I could add:
Indeed, but at the same time it's something you should embrace and enjoy in a different manner. Relationships are counter-intuitive, the more you push someone away, the more they want you. But they work that way for very biologically astute reasons. For instance, why do girls like guys that OTHER WOMEN want to fuck, and thus, guys that are more likely to cheat on them? Because social proof is a "guarantee" of reproductive value, she assumes you are a good catch because other girls think you are a good catch. Similarily, why do exes come back to you after they get jealous or they think you no longer want them back? Because it communicates to them that you might have actually been a BETTER catch than they thought, and thus attraction drives back up and they're inclined to seek self-affirmation from you.
You need to be very careful with this type of thinking. Many times, a guy gets dumped by a girl, discovers game, and then wants to REENGAGE his ex. In reality, it's because his oneitis still lingers in his mind and what he sees in her is a SYMBOL of his past betaness. So in essence, he tries to "change the frame" and start the relationship again to confirm that he has indeed finally become Alpha. This is a poisonous mentality because it encourages guys to lapse into a beta mindset and reinvigorate emotional instability.

Keep this as a rule of them - to conquer a Oneitis is to let go of it; to let go of a Oneitis is NOT to conquer it.

You have no control over this sometimes. The best you can do is roll the dice and see if it works out. If not, move on. Women are hypergamous, if she hypothetically found someone new that she's attracted to, she's likely fully desecksualized you by now and has no intention of "crawling back." On the other hand, you might just not have waited long enough.

You also need to understand why women come back, it's not always becuase they want a relationship. Sometimes it's because they're disturbed by the break up or the fact that you're not talking to them. It tears their ego apart to think they were inadequate in some way. They WANT you to cry over them, to feel "broken" because they left you, to miss them more than anything. Every girl craves to be the "one that got away." Every girl wants you to REGRET that you lost her. So they come back seeking to betatize you in order to give themselves a sense of SELF-AFFIRMATION.

It is every ex girlfriend's greatest fear that who she dates in the future will be dwarfed by who she dated in the past (you). Your job is to give substance to this fear.
Game is triage. Save the ones you can, leave the rest to get metastasized by the world around them. I understand he's your friend, but it's impossible to "save" someone from a Oneitis. They must do it themselves. The most you can do is introduce him to game and tell him his perception of this whole thing is wrong, but there's no point in fighting over it. More likely, you'll super charge his resolution to stay with his ex because he'll need a stronger cognitive bias to rationalize that his decision to go back to his ex was indeed the correct one.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

wow very informative post.

good thing to keep in mind too about

"to conquer a Oneitis is to let go of it; to let go of a Oneitis is NOT to conquer it. "

thanks for that

any progress?

or advice?

seems my ex has started seeking my attention. Yesterday she restarted an old game on draw something with me and today she just sent me some youtube video she thought I might like.

My ex text me last night after I have ignored her for a month. "How are things". I haven't even replied, see if she sends anything else

what do you mean by 'by product' of the two speaking again.