Quote:
Ok, I don't want to be mean, but if you really want to break it off with the guy DON'T be friendly, DON'T try to put him down gently. Just tell him straight out that you're not interested. It saves a lot of time and heartache for the guy if he's really into you.
If you just keep on being indirect he very well might be the persistent type who keeps on trying until he gets a "no". I know from experience if a girl doesn't give me a clear "no" I'll rationalize in my own head that I still have a chance (which I don't 90% of the time).
The world would be a much better place if we could be honest with each other, "I like you", "I don't like you" etc.... You're really not saving anyones feelings by being in-direct.
It's this indirectness and confusing aspects of female behavior that lead a lot of guys to this forum.
Being direct is like negative reinforcement. It is harsh. But it's the best way for him to learn.
If you tell him straight out why it didn't work out between you two, he'll learn and adjust for the future. But if you are vague, and keep throwing out "You're sweet" and "You're such a nice guy", he will not understand what he did wrong, so as a result he will try to be "nicer" and "sweeter", which will make him more awkward, less true to himself, and less attractive.
If you really want to do this guy a favor, leave him with some parting advice. He may be disappointed things didn't work out with you, but at least he'll know why.